Dear Canada,

 I am hardcore crushing on your convenience store offerings. First off, all the packages have French on them, which adds a layer of fanciness when you're chugging a candy-bar flavored chocolate milk. Yes, you heard that right: one of the biggest Canadian dairy suppliers manufactures milk infused with the candy bars flavors of Mr. Big, Crispy Crunch, and Caramilk. It is a drink so decadent you'd think Americans would have invented it. My only disappointment is that you can't get it in a bag, like most other Canadian milk products. If you could, I'd hook it up to myself like an IV!

I lived in Prague for a spell during college and remember asking my Slovak friends about the days under communism and life before Tesco. Milk in bags was a distinct feature of that time for them. It was a symbol of the goverment's absurdities and failures; an entire country was prohibited from complaining about spilled milk.

Here in Canada, I've come around to the idea. I drink my wine in a bag so why not? The bags stack neatly underneath the cardboard cartons in grocery store aisles. Everyone has these cute little pitchers to prop up their milk bags in the fridge. It's environmentally friendly and less disturbing in concept than a Go-Gurt.  I've not seen a drop spilled yet.

And those bags of milk will come in handy when you're eating your way through an entire Hasty Market of Canadian Lays potato chips. Dill Pickle chips! Ketchup chips! All Dressed (all the flavors: Barbecue Sauce, Sour Cream and Onion, Salt and Vinegar, Ketchup)! Seriously, you are killing it on the Lays flavor continuum. This past fall Lays Canada hosted a chip contest featuring the flavors pierogi platter, caesar salad, maple moose, and grilled cheese with ketchup. I ate all of them.

And when I was done I binged on this magnificent country's supreme candy aisle. Exhibit A: Coffee Crisp, like a Kit Kat bar that's coffee flavored. My husband lied to me and said it has caffeine in it but it's an almost negligible amount. Exhibits B - Zed: Crunchies, Maynards Wine Gums, authentic British Mars Bars and Flakes and Aero bubbly chocolate - the list goes on. Willy Wonka is alive and well and is secretly a card-carrying Canadian.