Brooklyn Noelle Brankovich

Chapter Eighty-one: "Lights please"

Rick, Noah, and I finished playing a game of UNO at his house and came down from a fit of laughter.

Rick sat back in his chair, shuffling the cards for another round as Noah sat his beer bottle down and kissed my cheek.

I looked down at the table, smiling, and saw his empty bowl of chips. Knowing how much he eats, I offered to get him a refill.

"Want some more?" I asked, standing. Noah wet his lips at me and kept his eyes on my backside.

"Please?" he replied, his eyes closed.

I giggled faintly and looked to Rick. "Want anything, Rich?" I asked. It's his house, but since I was doing favors anyway.

Noah's father, grinning, said, "Naw, thanks though, Manhattan."

I turned and made long strides towards the kitchen. Once in there, I put the bowl down and wondered which upper cabinet housed the snacks.

A lucky guess was correct and I found the mother load.

Oh Rick and his sweet tooth, I thought. Or is this Emereigh's doing?

I sighed and internally debated which bag of chips Noah would want.

Shaking my head, I put the two bags on the counter and decided to just go back and ask him.

"Hey, Noah-" I closed my lips when I saw the men leaned in in a conversation.

Upon hearing my name, I took a step back and tried hiding.

"Yeah, Brooklyn?" Noah sat up.

I moved more to the left so they couldn't see me and yelled away from the wall to sound further away. "Uh, what kind of chips do you want?"

"Doesn't matter," he shouted back briefly.

When I peeked again, I saw he returned to the conversation with Rick. It looked pretty serious, and apparently about me. So I listened. Okay, I eavesdropped.

"-I just don't want to hurt her," Noah talked.

"You won't, don't think that way."

"You don't understand; it's not that easy."

"Why not? Tell me," said Rick.

There was a hesitation before Noah spoke again.

"It's inevitable," he sighed.

"I don't believe that. You love her, so how could you hurt her?"

It kind of hurt hearing Noah say he thought he'd hurt me. A part of me felt bad, I wanted to think maybe he's saying this because things are so good he can only see them going down from here. However, it seemed more like he's hiding something or holding back and I don't like that.
I'm a little crushed but because I didn't want to start an argument, I didn't speak on it to him.

Not wanting to hear anymore, I dropped a couple handfuls of Lays in a plastic container and slammed the cabinet shut.

"What were you guys talking about?" I asked the men.

Rick said nothing and looked at Noah. The way he looked at him, like he knew something I didn't and was waiting to see how Noah would react to me after their conversation.

Noah pulled me onto his lap and smiled. "Thanks," he said for the snack.

Noah was going on and on about AJ and I listened at first. It wasn't until he started with this "anything can happen, I'm prepared" bullshit that turned me off. He mentioned how he'll be okay if I move on in the future and that I deserve better.
At first thought I believed it was post-funeral talk since it's been a few days and I know how people get on those newfound-love-for-life kicks. Only, it was the second time he's said something kind of doubting us and I was starting to get really upset about it. First he said he'd hurt me, now this.

I finished brushing my hair at my vanity before moisturizing and getting into bed. I smoothed my hair into a ponytail held by these eco-friendly nylon elastics I swear by and turned off my lamp.

Noah must've noticed the attitude I tried hard to suppress.

"What's wrong?" he questioned, turning the lamp of his side of my bed on.

"Nothing," I exhaled, adjusting my tone.

He rolled over so his back was no longer to me, and squeezed my cheeks. "Say 'I'm a fish.'"

"I'm a fish," I said, my voice distorted because my lips were pushed out. Noah laughed, making me laugh as well.

"You're stupid," I said, pushing his hand away from my face.

He pulled my body against his and squeezed me tight.

"You know what's crazy," he opened up.

"What?"

"Months ago I wouldn't have imagined being in bed with you and not having sex."

"Oh, wow, that makes me feel so special," I replied, dryly.

He chuckled. "No, but you know what I mean?"

"Yeah. I'm so good in bed, you fell in love."

"Exactly," Noah laughed in my ear, squeezing me even tighter in his arm.

No, I do know what he meant, though. I don't think we ever planned on loving each other - it just happened. All we wanted before was to be all over each other, but now we're comfortable and there's other things we can do to express it.
Before, we were having fun and getting closer by the second, enjoying casual sex. But given the circumstances, we spiraled and developed these feelings.

"Babe," he flicked my eyelashes.

I smacked my lips, annoyed, because I was trying to go to sleep.

"Huh?" I growled, opening my eyes.

"I'm gonna take that job at the college," he told me.

I sat up in bed. "What?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, rolling on his back. "it's a nice school."

"So you're going to quit The Playroom?"

"I got to, and you need to, too."

My eyebrows furrowed and I clicked a lamp on. "Noah, what?"

"I don't want you working there anymore, it's not safe."

"Not safe? You're just figuring that out? It's whatever, we're not involved in that stuff."

"Brooklyn, why do you have to fight me on everything?" Noah grumbled.

"Because you're not going to tell me just to quit."

"What fucking difference does it make, you don't need to work a day in your life?"

"Well, I just want a better explanation than 'it's not safe.'" I shrugged and crossed both arms over my chest.

He grew frustrated and prolonged a breath through his nose.

"Brooklyn," he whispered, taking my hand in his lap. "The Playroom isn't safe. I know you know what I mean. I'm looking at things different after burying my friend, just like you were when Venus died. I just want you to do this with me, it's for your own good, too. I promise we'll find something for you to do so you're not bored, okay?"

I nodded, starting to smile. That's all I wanted.

"Okay," I agreed. I pressed my lips to his.

"Thank you," Noah's voice strained. "because I can't lose you."

My face fell, the smile I previously had quickly turned into a frown. There he goes again with that shit.

"Good night."