Brooklyn Noelle Brankovich

Chapter Fifty-two: "Apologies and dessert"

It was hard leaving Daniel but he had a life to get back to, so do I, I suppose. My parents said they'd be visiting any time now, I know that means whenever Dad isn't busy. It seems like he's never there for me, but I know his heart, and I don't even need them visiting here with everything going on. I'm also just glad I didn't run into Will during my trip, he didn't even text me which is odd, but a relief.

I first texted Cassie to let her know I was home and we discussed Em's birthday party details briefly. I insisted on paying for any and everything but Cassie wouldn't let me. She may be letting loose now and coming out of that hard shell, but she's still very proud and humble.
I wanted to hang out with her and Em, but I was tired from the plane and just planned on resting.

After dumping the clothes from my bags in the washer machine and starting it, I almost walked away but a knock at the door stopped me in my tracks. I lost my good posture and frowned, not happy about having any company when all I wanted to do was nap.

I didn't bother looking through the peephole because there's only a few people it could've been. Opening the door, my face fell even straighter at the sight of him.

"Noah," I breathed out in surprise to see him standing there. It's not like I forgot what he looked like that fast, but he looked different. Like, for the first time, he wasn't about to crack a joke, make a move, or ask for something to eat.

Neither of us moved a muscle or said a single thing. I was holding my breath even. I'm sure, like me, he was too in his head. There was a lot to say and nothing at all, at the same time.

He stared in my doe-eyed dark green, almost hazel-brown, eyes while I looked him over. His right eye still bruised but only lightly, less purple than before. I couldn't tell if he was still limping, or not, but I wouldn't doubt it.

It's pathetic that as hurt as he was - inside and out - and as mad at him as I tried to be, I wanted him to take me. I loved the way his hair waved, his shuttered eyes under those thick constantly furrowed eyebrows, his strong arms, and the veined hands that I missed exploring every inch of my body.

At the same time he said, "I'm sorry," I opened my mouth and admitted, "I missed you." Glad that's out of the way. The ice was broken and I relaxed only a little.

My fingertips pushed the door open further so he could walk in. After he was further inside, I closed the door and breathed in then out.

I put the laundry detergent away and then made my presence known in the living room where I let Noah sit on the couch while I stood there with folded arms in anticipation of the rest of his apology.

It seemed like an eternity before we talked again, but Noah spoke up.

"I shouldn't have left you hanging like that," he started and went on after I nodded, "I was fucked up but I had to be strong for Gael; normally he's strong for me, but he's taking this harder. Him and AJ weren't talking, then they made up, and Gael probably thinks this is his - our - fault because we should've told AJ to go home-" I stopped him there.

"I don't need details or an explanation to why you and Gael are obviously hurt by this, I understand. You know, you keep talking about everyone else, but how is Noah?" My arms dropped to my sides and I stared down at Noah, waiting for a reaction or response.

"Noah's okay," he shrugged, "how's Brooklyn?"

"This isn't about me, but fine," I exhaled, "better now."

He clasped his hands together between his open legs and seemed speechless.

"So what happened," I finally asked, "or do you not want to talk about it?" I eased onto the chair across from the white couch to have the conversation and Noah's eyes never left mine.

He tried adjusting in the seat but I take it he felt a pain in his side or leg that caused him to hiss and groan. Noah got over it fast, probably not wanting me to see him aching like that, and laughed it off. "I'm old," was his excuse. I just blinked, expecting him to return to the topic at hand.

"Were you in the fight?" I asked another question.

"Yeah."

"You didn't start it, did you?"

"No. They were arguing so Gael and I went to break it up but some guy hit AJ and everyone jumped in. He, uh, got me pretty good but I think I won," Noah added, trying to laugh, but I didn't.

"Did you finish it?"

"I didn't shoot anyone, if that's what you mean. They got away," he said, picking at the skin on the palm of his hand.

I swallowed. "After shooting AJ?" Noah nodded stiffly at my question.

Once I processed what I learned went down that I missed, I gained more empathy for the situation. "Well, I'm just happy you're okay. AJ will be, too," I said.

"Yeah, it's just crazy how fast shit can happen. I need to reevaluate some things," he trailed off, standing to pace.

I remained the same way in the chair and didn't bother turning to watch him behind my back.

"Like what?"

He waited a long three seconds before replying. "People I hang with, how I treat people, what I do - work."

I hesitated to ask, "What do you do exactly?"

His voice sounded closer when he answered, "Whatever it is you think I do."

I gasped and looked at him through hollow eyes. What does he mean? Things at The Playroom seemed shady and I knew it after they fired Venus like that. The shooting raised my suspicions, but how could guys like Noah and Gael possibly be involved in anything like what I'm thinking?

"Look," he wet his lips, "I shouldn't have talked to you like that at the hospital, you were right to say what you said, too. I was angry, but it had nothing to do with you, I'm just an asshole."

"Noah, yeah, you're an asshole. But at twenty-something that can't just be your excuse. I was trying to be there for you and you shooed me away and told me to my face you didn't want anything to do with me. I get you were hurt and in shock, but it was mean. You're mean, there's no other way to put it."

"Brooklyn, I'm sorry, and you're right: I'm mean and I shouldn't use that as an excuse. I know it was wrong, and it won't happen again," he claimed.

"I know it won't," I faltered, springing out of the chair to make my way to the door. Once Noah got the hint to follow, he stood over me and looked at me with curiosity.

"Because I don't think we should keep doing this- whatever's between us." His facial expression turned up even more before I even spit out the whole sentence.

"Brooklyn, what?"

I peered out in the hallway, waiting for him to leave as it was heavily implied that I wanted him to.

"I don't want to get involved with you, there's a lot going on in your life, and I obviously can't be there for you if you don't want me to."

He stammered, trying to think of the right things to say. Noah palmed my face but I remained firm in my stance and pushed his hand away.

"I do want you, Brooklyn. I was scared, honestly, and I thought - I don't know - you being there for me meant you care about me and I'm not used to women caring about me. But I like us, don't try to end it after one argument, Brooks - our first argument, too."

"I don't know anything about your father, you won't talk about him. I'm never around Emereigh, especially with you, but you told me you wanted you and Cassie to take her skating and to a play - I LOVE SKATING AND PLAYS, why do I have to watch from the sidelines? I feel like I barely know her, and you act like she can't be around me! You have Sky and Natalie, who [probably] both hate me because of you! So, yeah, seems like you have your hands full and I don't want to inconvenience you. I don't know you, Noah," I went on, barely taking a breath, "I only know half of you. Why do I only get the goofy side of you, why can't you be real? Show me you care about other people, talk about what's bothering you for once, or do something other than offer dick? I'm a fucking great person and anyone would be lucky to have me, but all you want is someone to bend over when you snap your fingers and to not care about you, or ask about how you feel, and want to get to know you. So actually, you know what? I'm sorry, for overstepping when I misread what this was going to be between us, but that's done now."

Noah said, "I-" but I cut him off.

"You should be happy, one less thing for you to worry about," I told him with a pat on the arm. With nothing else to say, I tried closing him out but he forced the door back open and stepped back inside.

"What the fuck," he muttered, "no, Brooklyn. I spent three days wondering when - or if - I was gonna get to talk to you again. I fuckin' practiced what I was going to say and took advice from two people I never thought I'd take advice from. Ever. Now you're here and you're not the same-"

"What am I like?" My arms crossed.

"I don't know, not Happy Brooklyn."

"Well Brooklyn's not happy all the time." My arms flailed.

"And that's fine, I get it. I'm getting used to it. Actually, you're pretty cute when you're mad," he said.

My lips stretched into a straight line and I tried keeping my poker face, but I started to blush and giggle.

"Stop! Ugh, I hate you," I grumbled, burying my red face in my hands.

"You can hate me," he rasped, prying my fingers from my face. I pouted and refused to make eye contact with him.

"I don't want to hate you, Noah," I said, being lifted onto the countertop. I raked his hair back with my fingers and finally examined his bruised face.

"Stop," he said, pushing my hand from his eye, "don't look at it."

"No, it's sexy," I smiled, getting closer for observation.

"Do I have to say it?" he asked me randomly.

Genuinely confused, I said, "Say what?"

"That I like you and I'm sorry."

I pulled back and laughed. "Sorry for liking me?"

"Yeah, exactly," he laughed with me and then buried his head in my chest, his arms wrapped around my torso.

"Noah I like you, it's obvious how we feel about each other. I'm still mad at you, though, about everything I said. I meant it."

"What do you want to do about us?" he asked, his words muffled. He's so good at it, I didn't get to call him on changing the subject.

"We don't have to worry about that right now," I bubbled, "you have a lot of making up to do."

"Oh?" He said, kissing my collarbone.

"Not like that," I breathed, pushing him away, "and no sex. At least for a while." Noah didn't want to admit it but I saw the look on his face, those were the last words he wanted to hear.

"And this means... with other people, too?" asked Noah to which I slowly nodded.
He smirked at that and then asked me, "So we good?" His fist was there for me to pound but I hesitated in thought and twisted my mouth.

"As a chocolate-covered pretzel," I exclaimed, locking our knuckles. Noah laughed and then squeezed my body in a much needed hug, helping me down on my feet.

I pushed him back towards the door and opened it before he tried getting carried away.
Noah crossed the threshold and sucked his lips into his mouth to wet them as his eyes never left my face.

"No, but seriously," I said, "you owe me chocolate-covered pretzels."