Noah Silas Anderson

Chapter Fifty-one: "Lovin' is what I got"

"-I can keep yapping about my treatment or you can tell me what's on yer mind?" Rick's voice snapped my out of my mind.

I shook my head, sighing heavily as I dropped the phone from my fingertips onto the table. Rick stared at it then at me and waited for me to speak.

I visited him because I didn't know what else to do with myself. Gael and I were both shook after the accident, he needed his own time to himself, too. I respected that.
Meanwhile, Cassie had Emereigh, and as much as I wanted to spend time with my little sister, I was in no position to - mentally or emotionally.

And Brooks. Fucking Brooklyn.
My leg started to shake uncontrollably under the table as I felt myself getting annoyed even more for thinking about her. For the millionth time, I picked up my phone and stared at the lockscreen thinking a text from her would appear any second. It didn't. I unlocked the iPhone Max with my face and went into our message thread.

The last thing I sent was:

What's your favorite movie?

I have a lot

Pick one.

Showgirls!

Come watch it with me

And that was days ago, the beginning of the week actually. I had no idea what she's up to, she hasn't posted anything for me to see. On top of that, I haven't seen her Porsche in the parking lot, and I didn't want to ask about her because I didn't want people saying I was worried about her. She's grown.

"I guess it's kind of my fault," I vented out of nowhere, covering my face with my hands. I sniffed and then sat back, crossing my arms over my chest. "I shouldn't have acted how I acted, I guess."

"How'd you act?" asked Rick, wholeheartedly concerned and interested in what I had to talk about.

"Like an asshole," I laughed it off awkwardly and cut it off abruptly, staring at nothing.

"Okay," Rick urged, leaning in, "why'd you act like an asshole?"

"Because. I. Was. Pissed." I swallowed then ran my tongue over my molars.

"And why were you pissed?"

I quickly paused, debating if I should tell him, or not. Figuring the shooting was on the news so he possibly already heard anyway, I decided to talk about what happened at the club.

After briefing it without details or mentioning my involvement, I waited for Rick to react.

"What does that have to do with Brooklyn?" he asked me.

I clenched my jaw, realizing where he was going with this. "She was pissing me off," I grumbled, flicking the rubber band against my wrist.

"How? What she do?" His eyes burned into me, I just knew he was giving me that Dr.Phil look - 'the psychologist look.'

"She was asking questions, it was annoying, and I wasn't in the mood to talk."

"So you both witnessed the crime of your friend and she waited at the hospital with you while you were obviously upset and she tried making you feel better which quote-on-quote 'pissed you off?'" He sarcastically nodded and put his hand to his chin like he was deep thinking.

"Don't do that," I scoffed, waving him off.

"Don't do what?"

"That," I growled, "act like I'm the problem here. She was hovering, and I needed space."

"But now that you got that space... you miss her? That's why you're checking you're phone every five seconds and then throwing it down, right? I know you haven't been in many relationships but let me tell you a secret we don't want the women to find out: men always take breakups the worst," Rick told me in a whisper.

I sucked my teeth, not taking him seriously. "Can't break up with someone you never dated, so-"

"No? You know what you're doing, right?" he asked me.

I threw my phone down again and flailed my arms. "What, Rick, what am I doing?"

"You got too close to her and you're trying to end it before she can," he generalized.

When I didn't say anything, he spoke again. "You're smart enough to know better, and I know you know what you're doing. I don't understand you kids, why can't y'all just say you like each other and boom?"

"Boom?" I laughed.

Rick snickered. "What, is 'boom' not okay? I shouldn't say 'boom'?"

"No, you shouldn't." I shook my head, continuing to laugh.

"Well," Rick said, "AJ is going to be okay."

Why does everyone say that? It's not certain he will be so don't get anyone's hopes up, you know?
I asked him, "How do you know?"

Rick exhaled and sat back in the chair. His shoulders hunched and he said, "I don't, no one does. But some people see the glass half-full, rather than half-empty like you, and we just have hope."

Aheh. Brooklyn's one of those people, too - who see the glass half full. An optimist, I think they're called. A feeling of missing her hit me and I felt bad for how everything went down. And now she's gone for who knows how long, and probably won't talk to me.

"Thanks, Rick," I quipped, standing to stretch before leaving.

He stood and sighed. I put my hand on his shoulder and chuckled. "What?" I asked.

"One month to go," he said, grinning like it hurt, "then I'm out of here."

"Yeah, and?"

"Just wondering when you'll call me Dad again," he wondered aloud.

I'd only talked to Gael briefly, just some hi/bye type shit, nothing too much since he was still moping. The accident hit us both hard, but I think Gael was more upset since he found AJ's body and they'd just patched things up after their fall-out.

Time off work was doing me good, though. By good I mean getting to relax, spending more time at the gym, and doing my work ON TIME. My grades were really good still. I almost slipped but a couple perfect quizzes helped me out. I just hated online school because I can never pay attention and it's so easy to cheat or and fall behind.

It was a nice day, I was on the balcony lifting weights and doing some at-home workouts because I'd already been to Frank's. On top of that, Gael wasn't home, Cassie took Emereigh out, and I already finished the homework I had. With nothing to do, I guess working out was an escape. But it also made me realize how fucking bored I am.
I wish Brooklyn was here, I thought, coming up with things in my head we'd probably be doing if she was home.

All of a sudden, my phone rang. I almost didn't hear it over the music but I saw the screen come to life. I dropped the weight and squinted my eyes to read the screen.

"What?" I talked in the phone.

"Hey, Noah," she said, "you busy?"

I looked out at the view and tried catching my breath. "Not really, why?"

"Come to your door." The call ended with that.

I paused the music and snatched my shirt off the rail to answer the knocking.

My eyes dropped to meet Sky's. "What's up?" I asked first.

She smiled and looked around, scratching the back of her head. "Can I come in?"

I didn't see why not so I just let her enter my apartment for the first time. She looked around, impressed, and told me it was a "nice place."

"Do you want something, Skylar?" I questioned, crossing my arms.

Sky stood and shrugged before dropping onto the couch. "I've never been, I just thought I'd stop by."

"Well, you're here," I laughed awkwardly, making Sky smile.

"Yeah," she beamed, "So. I have something to tell you."

Oh shit, I thought in my head. I immediately feared the worst. She's pregnant, I know it. Fuck, I can't raise a child. Well, maybe I can... No. I can't and I won't - especially not Sky's.

"Amber proposed to me last night," she squealed, revealing the band on her finger.

"Fuck," I finally exhaled, "that's a lot better than I thought. Congrats, Sky."

She giggled, gritting her slightly crooked and coffee-stained teeth in excitement. "I don't know any details but I figured I'd tell you so you and your girlfriend can stop thinking I'm trying to fuck you."

I laughed, taking a bottle of water out of the fridge. I offered one to Sky but when she declined, I walked to the living room and joined her on the couch. After a swallow, I shook my head and then put my shirt on.

"I definitely don't have a girlfriend," I let her know in a low tone, almost ashamed or regretful.

"Okay, well I don't want you in that way; and your whatever-she-is, Brooklyn, was about to pound me at the party when she walked up to us, so I'm just trying to stay on her good side," Sky said, laughing.

"Yeah, she kickboxes and has a blackbelt, you shouldn't mess with her; but," I said, "we're not - you know - anything."

Sky looked at me like she wasn't too convinced but didn't want to pry or talk about Brooklyn anymore.

"Anyway. I know I like cheated on Amber with you before, but I'm engaged now so keep your dick away from me," Sky goofed, playfully pushing me over. I inched away so she'd stop touching me and forced a laugh. She looked happier than before and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm happy for her. I'm okay with no longer sleeping together, I can focus on other things now.

Or other people. . .

"Well I should go," Sky sighed, pulling the strap to her shoulder. I decided to walk her out. At the door, she stared up at me and simpered.

My face curled, wondering what that face was for.

"Whatever you're thinking about, it's not that serious. You just look like a lot's on your mind, but I'm telling you: go with your gut," Sky talked.

I laughed and pushed her across the threshold. "You don't know what you're talking about, get outta here."

"I know that you know that I'm right. Whatever it is, do what you want. It's like this tattoo on my back," she said.

"What is it?"

Sky turned and lifted her thin black shirt for me to see the ink down her spine - a phrase unfamiliar to me surrounding a colored, stylistic sun with wavy rays and a face.
It was new so I hadn't seen it before.
After a considerable amount of time, Sky put her shirt down and turned back to face me, smiling contently.

"Wow," I expressed sarcastically, "those are words that exist... on your back."

"Shut up," she sucked her teeth, making me laugh. "It's Sublime lyrics - What I Got. Ugh, you're uncultured."

"Touching stuff, Sky. What's your other tattoo? 'Live, laugh, give up before you die?' Great message," I mocked as she walked away, flipping me off.

"Take my advice or stay sad and lonely. No regrets," she screamed, pressing the 'down' button on the elevator. Once the doors parted, Sky entered as the man exited. She shook his by the shoulders and exclaimed, "I'm engaged! Woo!" I had to laugh. It must be nice being that excited about someone.

I walked back inside and checked my phone for messages. None. Sighing, I walked to the far window and peered down at the parking lot. It was full, and I suddenly noticed a Porsche in the usual spot Brooklyn poorly backed into. I'm embarrassed to admit I started to smile, happy she came back.

Those lyrics, Sky's tattoo, kept speaking to me.
She's right, I thought. Just like Rick.

***

>> pictured above: Sky's tattoo <<