Noah Silas Anderson

Chapter Thirty-five: "I made a mistake"

Hairless cats.

Sports.

Dead Mom.

Grandma naked.

I tried thinking of anything to help while I locked myself in my bathroom. But I kept reliving what just happened, I could still feel myself inside of her.

Right after hearing the front door slam, I peeked out to see if Brooklyn was gone.

With the coast clear, I exhaled and then punched the air in a childish tantrum.

Why does this keep happening to me?! Why did I have to try to do the right thing and stop? Shit, we went that far, I might as well have finished. But I'm stronger than I give myself credit for, it wasn't easy to turn Brooklyn down. Now I'll probably never have a chance like that again.

Just my luck that I can't have the perfect girl, I thought.

I checked my phone to see if Brooks would've called me or sent a text. She didn't. Shit.

Frustrated, I threw on some clothes and left my apartment. As I passed Brooklyn's door, I thought to go check on her. She had gotten high with Cassie for the first time and was probably freaking out by now.

No, I can't. I stopped myself and waited for the elevator.

***

BANG! BANG! BANG! My fist pounded on Sky's door around one in the morning.

I knew she was home, she just posted a Snap of her watching Narcos in her bed that I recognized.

"Sky! Open the door," I grumbled.

"What do you want, Noah?" she asked with an attitude from the other side.

I clenched my jaw, unballing my fists. "I'm angry, and-"

"Oh, so you want to come in and use me? Hurt me? No, fuck you, Noah."

"Sky, I've had a shitty night, and I-"

She opened the door in a fast motion, almost taking me out. "And you what," Sky spat, "you wanna do me, and take all your anger out again? Yeah, I'm done being your fuck puppet. You need to work out your issues in a more healthy way, I can't deal with this baggage anymore."

"Baggage?!" I scoffed. I noticed a person - a girl - in the background walk past and peek at us. "Oh that's what this is about, your girlfriend's home, so now it's fuck me, right?"

"Noah, you know what this is; Amber comes first always. I love you as a friend, Noah, but you're like... a little crazy sometimes. Maybe it's work, or your dad, I don't know, but you were stressed-"

Her bringing up my job and addict father triggered me. "Fuck off, Sky. This is because I hurt your feelings the other day, isn't it? Look, I'm sorry."

"Yes you did, and you're not sorry. Noah, you HATE condoms but you only fuck with me condoms because you think I have something. You don't kiss me, and you said I'm not attractive. I don't even know where that came from? One day we were good, then you came back from this cruise a different person."

My eyes rolled. I almost walked away, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of having the last word.

"You know what? I meant what I said, Sky, and it didn't come out of nowhere. No, I'm not attracted to you anymore, and yes, I am scared to get something from you. You've fucked half of LA and crawl back to your girlfriend every other weekend, but you can judge me and act like I'm fucking wrong and crazy? I don't need you, you were begging for me. And trust me, stick with eating pussy because you're not that fucking good at anything else."

"You asshole. Noah, you wish you could eat this pussy, and I always pleased you-"

I laughed in her face. "I guarantee you, Sky, if I wanted to, I would've. And, no, I've never once got off. Why do you think I go in your bathroom every time?"

"I-I thought you were taking a dump, or something." She murmured, starting to doubt the words she spoke. Pathetic.

Amber presented herself at the door. "Everything okay, baby?" she asked Skylar.

Sky tore her eyes from me and kissed Amber, making my face curl. I've done a lot of shit, but I've never cheated on anyone. What a disgusting person to fuck other people and then lay up with your partner at the end of the day? I almost felt bad for Amber and thought to tell her, but I didn't care for the drama that would bring so I just let them stay dumb and happy.

With my point across, I casually walked away. And I don't regret a single thing I said because it was all true, I only wished I didn't come off so harsh, but Sky can take it. I'd been meaning to end things with her for a while, even before I met Brooklyn - I mean, even before the cruise.

Sky will probably be calling me, asking for me to come over and try her homemade cookies in the morning, though. That's just how she is. And when she does, I'll be ready to apologize if I truly upset her. But for now, fuck her.

I groaned as I came over Natalie's breasts. She smiled like she was proud of what she'd done and felt herself up.

My head tossed back and I immediately felt disgusted. The fuck am I doing here, and with her?

"Love you, Nat," I joked as I watched her clean herself.

The music from the club played in the private room we locked ourselves in upstairs. I made myself decent under the red light and checked the time on my phone.

2:34 AM

"No you don't," Natalie laughed in the mirror.

"You're right, I don't, but thank you." I needed that.

"'Thank you'? That's a first. Someone must not be getting so lucky anymore?" She pried in my personal life.

I swallowed a gulp of Jack Daniels and hissed as it burned my throat. "Women have been disappointing me lately," I vented, wandering around the room.

"A-huh. By women you mean that little friend of yours, Sky?"

I chuckled, standing beside her now at the mini bar.

"That's over," I said, putting the glass back to my lips.

"Hmm, is this about the new girl? I see how you look at her- like she's different ... special. She seems easy enough, go for it," Natalie said. My eyebrows furrowed at her assumption about Brooks.
On the cruise I learned that Brooklyn only had one partner before and they barely even touched each other. I could tell by how she reacted to me, that she wasn't used to any sort of sexual behavior. So, it's not like she's loose and fast like Sky or Natalie, which put me at ease.
And so what if she's easy with me, is that a bad thing? Brooklyn knows what she wants and that's all any man wants from a woman, for them to be confident and take charge sometime.

"You don't know her," I grumbled.

"Oh, defending her, are you? Definitely a crush-"

"Natalie, I'm almost twenty-four, I don't have crushes. And, it's not like that."

"Well, she's cute. You better get her before Venus does, I hear she has a crush."

I couldn't help but make a twisted face at that. "Venus? Stop lyin', Natalie. There's no way. And, Brooklyn's not gay," I said confidently.

Natalie smoothed on a fresh coat of red lipstick and popped an eyebrow at me. "I don't know, I hear she loves strippers."

I know the seasoned employees are all fucking sluts who don't give a fuck about the policy as long as Courtney or Zane and his two rats - Vince and Ronnie - didn't find out, but I'd be damned if Venus even tried flirting with Brooklyn. Venus or any other one of Zane's muscle neck minions around the club, for that matter.

Now bored with Natalie, I slammed my glass on the counter and walked out after kissing her cheek.

"See you tomorrow, lover boy," she cooed after me.

Natalie's someone at The Playroom I can trust, she was down for whatever, and we had a little bit of history already. We've talked about some deep shit, and witnessed some crazy things together on the job.
I respected her as a person, a friend, but still not enough to break my 'no kissing on the lips' or fucking raw (without protection) rules.

Trying to exit the club, I caught two people at the end of this hallway under a blinking light.

"AJ?" I called out, putting more bass in my voice. I knew it was him but he tried running. Except, the door to his right was locked so he couldn't escape.

I approached the boys and silently dismissed the chubby one.

"What are you, deaf? Didn't Gael and I tell you to stop coming around here? What if your Uncle Terrance sees you, huh?"

"He's not here," AJ growled, shaking the long dreads out of his face.

AJ was a funny kid, he could have a bright future too, if he sticks to basketball, but he insists on hanging with the wrong crowd. Gael and I had a soft spot for him, like Terrance did us, that's why we tried teaching him to be better than we were - are.

"What the fuck is this, you're doing drugs now, too?" I snatched the bag of powder from his rough hands.

"Come on, it's not even mines! I got it from Jojo, why you let him walk away? It's 'cause I'm black, ain't it?"

I laughed at AJ and let the collar of his Polo shirt go, but I kept the coke.

"Don't be stingy, you gonna do that shit yourself, ain't you," he questioned me.

I swallowed and dumped it out of the window to my left. "Nah, man. I don't do that shit anymore."

Gael and I had some crazy times in college, high school, too. We grew up fast and did a lot of shit we probably shouldn't have - shit I know I'm not proud of.
When you get in with the wrong people, you tend to follow them, thinking it's cool.
I saw my father abuse drugs and thought the shit must be really fucking good if he abandoned his own son for it. So, I indulged, but I never let myself get addicted. Thankfully, I had people like Gael and Terrance.

Rick overdosed this once and I thought he was actually gone that time. I told myself I wouldn't do another drug or be that irresponsible again. I haven't done any drugs since, but I'm not sure about the not being irresponsible thing.

"Aye, where is my uncle, though? Is he really here, he'll whoop my ass," AJ worried, his big dark brown eyes scanning the room.

I laughed at him. "No, he's not here. He's not even speaking to me, I pissed him off."

"When don't you? If it's not you, it's Gael, that's just how y'all love each other. Terrance be too serious, but that's how you know he care about you for real," AJ said. I nodded, hearing him.

"Yeah, I guess. I gotta go, take care, A." I slapped his hand and walked out.

***

As I left the gym, I ran into Terrance and none other than AJ who first brought me in for the brotherly hug and we laughed it up together.

Terrance stared me down. "Noah, ain't seen you in a while," he spoke coldly. It really hadn't been that long, just long for us considering Gael and I used to hangout at Terrance's house damn near every day.

I swallowed and stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Yeah. How's Kenya and the girls?"

"They're good, stop by sometime - just you and Gael."

"Who the fuck else-" I stopped myself before going off. I wet my lips and exhaled my frustrations through my nose. "-Yeah."

AJ noticed the tension but chose not to acknowledge it. "Tell Gael I said wassup, he gotta see me in Call of Duty, though, he cheated last time!"

I started walking away as they did the same in the opposite direction. I reached my car and watched as AJ took long strides backwards. "MY REMOTE WASN'T CHARGED," he shouted, bumping into a thin white woman in a pantsuit and dark glasses. I just laughed as AJ played it off and started catcalling her. When she looked disgusted, he called her a Karen and jogged to catch up to Terrance.

That motherfucker is crazy, I thought in my head as I drove off.

***

KNOCK! KNOCK! I impatiently banged on Gael's door.

"Damn," he hissed, opening the door wide, "what?"

"Hey," I calmly let out, pushing my way inside. We did the brief version of our handshake then Gael shut the door and followed me to the living room.

"What's up?" he asked, taking a seat on the couch.

I raided his cabinets and fridge before speaking. Grabbing a bag of chips, I waltzed to the chair across from the sofa and made myself comfortable while Gael just stared at me, waiting.

After I burped, I adjusted how I sat and let it out. "Just remember if you judge me, I literally have shit on you, too - spring break, sophomore year."

Gael chuckled. "What the hell did you do, Noah?"

"Okay," I relaxed in the chair, breathing in. "I fucked Brooklyn."

He just laughed when I fessed up. I waited for the punchline because I didn't see what was so funny.

"You're joking, right?" he asked me.

I stood up, disgruntled, and paced. "It's not what you think, I didn't come onto her-"

"No, you came in her," he made a joke that actually made me laugh.

"Aheheh, that was pretty good," I got distracted. "But, it's crazy. So, I'm in the shower last night, right? She comes in, asking to hang out, and I'm like 'yeah, wait until I get out.' Bro. I- I can't even tell you what happened, but... yeah."

"I don't think it's smart, but at least you got some," Gael said. Well sounds like he and Cassie didn't have a great night, I figured.

Rubbing my hands together, I stopped pacing, and took a seat. I fixed my hat and shook my leg, wondering what to say or do next.

"The smart thing to do would be to leave her alone," I spoke, "but I'm not smart."

"Dude, I don't have to tell you not to get attached, do I? I know you, Noah, I know how you get. And you know the rules if we get close to the girls, there's no telling what Zane will do to us." Heard.

"I know," I huffed, "but nothing happened. Well, I mean, I stopped things before they got too far. And now she's pissed at me, so."

Gael stood tall and patted my shoulder on his way to the kitchen. "How do you know she's pissed?"

"I kicked her out. She hasn't texted me all day and I don't know if she will."

"Damn," Gael deadpanned, gulping down beer. "Let her be mad, it'll take the heat off you two for a while, so you can lay low."

I nodded, taking in what he said. "What about you and Cassie, huh?"

This goofy smile spread across his lips that I hadn't seen in a while, at least not about a girl. "She came over last night."

"And?!" I urged him to spill the details, lunging over to sit on the stools at his counter.

"Nothing happened. She's coming around to me, but she's cool. Once you get to know her, there's more than a shitty attitude. She's different in a good way, playful, and crazy attractive. I just like how she holds herself different from these other girls." Someone's got a crush, I mentally noted.

My face turned up. At least I'm not the only one not following orders. I knew these girls were something else, and it seems like Gael and I are ready to risk it all to get to know them better.

A feeling of contentment came over me as I watched Gael try and wipe away his boyish facial expression, it's nice seeing him excited about a girl.

I think Gael is scared of commitment in a way that he doesn't want to be tied down and hasn't found anyone good enough, yet.
I'm scared to commit because as dumb as it sounds, I know I can be a bit unhinged at times and also get attached to people. It's been just my luck that the people I love and depended on, left or fucked me over - Rick and my mother. I knew my mother dying left me with some issues that I wasn't ready to analyze yet, but by not getting romantically involved, I think I'm keeping it under control. . . For now.
But I don't know how much longer it'll last if Brooklyn and I keep getting closer like this.