Boston

I sat in the waiting room down the hallway for three hours, after they kicked me out of her room.

   I don't even know why I stayed.

   I mean, I wanted to know she was okay. I was hoping to just get an update on her and then I planned to leave and head to the restaurant. But no one would really tell me anything about her. And then the doctor and some other lady come to talk to me, asking me questions about how I knew her and why I was the one who brought her in. They seemed suspicious at first, until I said that I don't really know her, I just heard her crying and went to help.

   Now it's 8P.M. and I was supposed to be at Swirlies hours ago and I haven't even called Jackson. I haven't even checked my phone because I don't know how to explain any of this to him. Jackson is not going to understand this; I don't even understand this.

   Instead of calling and trying to explain it, I take in a deep breath. I'm about to go up to the fourth floor. That's where Alexander, my brother, is. Where he's been for two and a half months. I haven't come to see him as much I should, and I'm here, in the hospital, so I can't leave without going up.

  And that's when I see Wren leaving her room, with the CPS lady.

  She tells me she hates me and screams that I should not have brought her here. I tell her I'm sorry. It happens so fast and then she's gone. The doctor told me earlier that I might have saved her life, but the CPS lady mentioned something about her not having any family. So this lady is taking her where?

  It makes more sense why she was so upset about Julianna, the woman who lived in my apartment, disappearing. She was her friend, but she also must have been taking care of her, somewhat.

  My brain isn't working properly as I turn away and go towards the elevator. My phone is ringing as I step out, just down the hall from where my brother is in a coma.

  I see it's my mom calling, and I don't want to talk to her. Not right now. But it keeps ringing and I cancel it, but she calls again. I've had the weirdest day and I just can't. She finally stops calling and I make a mental note to call her later.

  When I approach the desk to tell the nurse I'm here to visit my brother, she looks surprised to see me. I write down my name on the visitors list and go through the door, once she buzzes me in. The walk down one hallway to his room is long and my heart is racing. It's been at least a week since I've been up here and I feel terrible, not that he knows any different. I know my parents haven't been here to see him and besides Jackson and Lauren, there's no one else.

  He's laying there the same as he always is, tubes in his mouth and nose and arms. He needs a hair cut and a shave - that's the first thing I think when I see him. I sit in the chair next to the bed and just look at him. I watch the machine breathe for him. It's my big brother, but it doesn't feel like he's even here anymore.

  "Hey, Alexander..." I begin, the same way I always do. "I know I haven't been to visit in awhile but I'm here now. I mean, I'm only here now because I... helped out this girl, who lives in the apartment building that I live in now. It's so weird... you don't even know that I live in the city. You don't even know that I'm trying to fix your restaurant and keep it going for you. Fuck."

  I take in a few breaths and let them out slowly.

  "Anyway... I don't know, maybe you can hear us. Lauren says she talks to you a lot and the nurses say it might help. I want you to come back to us, dude."

  I feel silly sitting in this room talking to my brother in a coma, so I sit for ten more minutes before I stand up and leave the room. I don't care if the nurses judge me for not staying long. I don't know what else to do.

*  

Back at the apartment an hour later, nothing feels right. It's too quiet. I walk through the kitchen and pull out a beer, popping it open right away. After I drink half of it down, I make my way into the living room. This was the weirdest day I've had in a long time, and I just want to sit down and close my eyes. But before I even sit, I glance at the couch. It's grey and plain, but I notice it right away. A smear of blood, right where she was laying, this morning.

  That girl - who I barely know - has marked my couch.

  Everything comes crashing down around me, everything that happened today. I was supposed to go to the restaurant. I wasn't supposed to have a fourteen year old girl in my apartment and take her to the hospital. I am going to have so much explaining to do.

  My phone buzzes and I reach for it, remembering that I didn't call my mom. It's not my mom, though, it's Jackson.

  Are you okay?

  Me: I'm fine, sorry I bailed today. I just had to go see Alex.

  Jackson: Oh, ok. How's he doing?

  Me: Same. I feel totally guilty when I don't go, but then I feel like shit when I go see him.

  Jackson: I know what you mean.

  Me: Everything OK at the restaurant?

  He doesn't reply for a few minutes, and I should take that as a sign.

  Jackson: It was busy, so that's a plus.

  Me: Good. I'll see you tomorrow morning.

  Jackson: Okay, sounds good.

  The next few days sort of go by in a blur.

  I go to work. I get what needs to get done, done. I am still waiting to hear back from some people about the loan that needs to be extended, but it seems to go on my back burner. I'm just pushing through the days, and when I get back to the apartment each night, I sit and stare at the couch, where Wren was laying. Crying. Bleeding. 

  It feels like it didn't really happen, like it was some sort of nightmare that I keep replaying in my head.

  I feel like an asshole when my phone is ringing on my way up the apartment at the end of the week. I see it's my mom and my heart drops.

  "Hi," I answer the call, feeling like shit for not calling her back earlier.

  "What is going on with you?" she wants to know right away.

  "Nothing, what do you mean?" I ask back, pulling open the lobby door.

  "I know you're struggling, Bos. I talked to Jackson," she informs me. Jackson ratted me out. Great.

  "I have it under control," I tell my mom, trying to sound like I mean it.

  "Jackson doesn't seem to think so. He says you've been off the past few days, and you've been really stressed-"

  "I've been a bit sick, but I'm fine," I lie, interrupting her. I hate keeping secrets but I don't have a choice right now.

  She can't know how bad it is really is at the restaurant and she definitely can't know that I'm preoccupied all day thinking about a girl who's only fourteen.

  Nope, just thinking that feels wrong.

  "You're working too much. You're too young to take on this much," she goes on, and I do hear the concern in her voice.

  She's not wrong there, and I haven't even told anyone about all of the stuff with Wren. I mean, there's not much to tell. It's been four days and I've avoided her apartment and the entire end of the hallway where her apartment is. I know better than to make anything worse. But I've been worrying about her constantly and it's affecting my day to day life. My mom doesn't need to know about this.

  "I'm fine, really. I went to see Alex," I tell her, to change the subject. "His nurse said she's still optimistic."

    "It's been ten weeks."

   She's giving up on him, and I really, really hate that. Her voice is sad, but she's not an overly emotional person, or mother. She always loved Alex, so much. They were so close, until he moved to the city and started getting in over his head.

    "Yeah, well, there's still a chance," I say quickly. "He can still wake up."

   She sighs and waits. "Bos, you need to call your dad. He can help with the restaurant and it'll be less stress on you."

    "Alexander would hate that," I tell her.

    "I'm sure he would, but this is your call now, Bos. Alex isn't here to make the decisions, and if you don't want to lose the restaurant -"

    "Mom, I'm figuring it out. Okay?"

    "Okay, Boston. You know I just worry about you."

    "Please, don't. I'm fine."

   I'm not fine, and everyone around me knows I'm not. But at least I can lie to my mom, for now.