We have reached the end folks, hope you had fun!

Good luck, it's a roller coaster.

Mitch was right.

It doesn't feel weird once they're back. They continue their lives just like before... at least that's what they think. Until New Year's Eve when they're around other friends. Scott can't help but feel like everyone's staring at them. He doesn't know if he's gone paranoid or if something is up, but it doesn't feel right. It's confirmed when he steps out of the bathroom and gets cornered by Avi with a suspicious look on his face. Avi gives him a once over, making the blonde shift uncomfortably before opening his mouth.

"Did something happen with you and Mitch?" He asks, surprising Scott.

"Mitch? No. At least I don't think so. We're good as always, why?" Scott doesn't see why they're talking about this. They're acting like they always do, laughing, and sharing inside looks that only they know what they mean.

"You've always been close, but tonight you're down right gravitating around each other. I don't know if you've been more than ten feet apart. It just seems... different." Avi explains, contemplative.

Scott doesn't know what to say. Are they really acting different? It felt normal between them even though he was worried at first.

"I...I didn't notice." he stutters, searching for the right answer. He loves Avi and knows he can talk to him about anything, but he doesn't even know how to put into words what he's feeling now. "I mean... I don't know. Nothing feels different." He can't look Avi in the eyes because he knows it's not true. He's not ready to admit it because it seems like he's the one that's gonna end up with the broken heart.

When Avi leaves it at that, Scott finds himself breathing heavily. He's close to a panic attack. He stays in the hallway, calming his nerves. No one comes to look for him and he's glad. He couldn't have explained what was happening, even if he wanted too. When he gets back to the room, the first person he sees is obviously Mitch. You can't miss him with his laugh on full display for everyone to hear. He radiates like the sunshine, bringing joy to everyone and everything and Scott just wants to throw up. He stays away from him for the remainder of the night, not missing Avi watching him and Mitch's worried looks. This is gonna be a tough thing to get through, he thinks as they celebrate.

And Scott's right.

It's their last year and they have more work, harder work too, and at the end of February he can't wait for his exams to be over and put an end to this torture. But it's nothing compared to what's been growing in his mind and his heart. Scott misses kissing Mitch goodnight. He misses touching him. He misses him period even though he's right there. When he looks back on it, he can admit that he probably always had a crush on the brunette. He always loved him more than anyone else. Right from the start, Mitch was his favorite. And the more he got to know him, the more he grew fond of him. But right now, it's worse, it's gotten so much worse and Scott doesn't know what to do.

Now Scott knows what it's like to be the center of Mitch's world. He knows how it feels to touch him and to be touched by him. He knows what it's like to kiss him goodnight and good morning. He knows so much more, more than a friend should know about another, but he knows it and it fucked everything up. He can't go back and unlearn these things. He has to live with it and deal with it. That's why he went back home for spring break. Without Mitch, to the great despair of his mother. He wanted to take his mind off of things but it only got worse because his mom is even more fond of Mitch than he is it seems. She couldn't stop talking about how great he is, how much she loves him, and how she's so happy Scott found someone so special. It doesn't help anything at all.

Scott's gotten really good at pretending in front of Mitch, telling him about this boy he met a few times. Even though this guy is, in fact, a jerk, he tells Mitch he likes him when the brunette decides to talk about the guy he met in a coffee shop and saw a few times. His name's Eddie and he's actually pretty nice and gorgeous but it makes Scott's heart ache to admit it.

The worst part is he can't even talk about this to anyone.  His mom thinks he's dating Mitch, so he can't talk about him dating someone else. And none of his friends can know about what happened during Christmas break. So he's alone with his thoughts and sometimes, he really thinks he's gone mental.

The first day of April, Mitch tells him he broke things off with Eddie. When Scott asks why, he answers with a shrug. No sparks, he says. Scott's not sure if he's happy or not. Eddie was a good guy, even though it pained him to admit it. He didn't want to face the idea of Mitch with someone who's not worthy of him. Mitch deserves the world and Scott would do anything to give it to him and he expects nothing less from whatever guy holds his heart.

Mitch suggests going out that night, but Scott isn't really up for it. He's tired and doesn't feel like going out and socializing. So Mitch goes alone, meeting some friends at the bar and leaving Scott home alone, watching some movie on the tv.

It's a stupid movie, but Scott's not in the mood for anything life changing or intelligent. He just wants to lay there and rehash everything that went wrong in his life since Christmas. He even thinks about going back to Texas after he graduates, but that would mean losing everything he's been working towards here just because he had the stupid idea to fall in love with his best friend. He'll only go back for the summer, move on from Mitch, and then start a new life with a new job and new friends. Maybe he'll meet someone new. It was the plan all along... having Mitch be his best friend, meeting someone, starting his career, marrying the guy he met, maybe adopt a couple kids. But things don't work out as you plan.

He's pulled out of his misery when the sound of a breaking news report comes on. He frowns at the fact that they just cut the middle of the movie for this. It must be important though, so he sits up, waiting for the announcer to say what's going on. What he hears is not what he was expecting. A mass shooting at the bar Mitch went to. He continues watching the screen, greeted with the horror of those deaths, people who were only enjoying life on a nice night out and got killed by monsters. They were only living, they didn't do anything wrong but they got killed anyways.

His brain shut off then. He can't bring himself to believe the words coming out of the speaker's mouth. It can't happen here. You hear about these things happening all over the world, but you never expect it to happen where you live. It can't happen at the exact bar Mitch was going to. It can't happen tonight.

It can't be real.

This time, Scott can't stop the panic attack. He waits as patiently as he can, trying to sing a song in his head to get rid of this sinking feeling in his stomach and the painful weight on his chest. He tries to count the seconds to get his breathing to go back to a normal rate. When he's calmed down enough, he jumps to find his phone, fumbling with the screen to pull up Mitch's name and press call.

It doesn't even ring, it just goes straight to voicemail.

Scott can't help but to start imagining the worst case scenario. Mitch shot. Mitch scared. Mitch crying and asking for help and Scott can't do anything. He can't go there, they won't let him near the attack. He can't think of anything except Mitch. He tries to stay positive. Maybe he had time to hide. Maybe he wasn't even at that bar that got attacked.

He's fine. He has to be fine.

Scott thinks of calling Mike or Nel, tell them Mitch was out for the night, but he can't bring himself to cause them any trouble. It could be nothing. He doesn't want to scare them if it's nothing. But if something happened to Mitch, how could he tell Mike and Nel it was his fault? He should have asked Mitch to stay home with him, or gone out with him to protect him.

Tears are streaming down his face at this point.

It can't be happening.

It's not real.

Mitch is fine. He's alive and well somewhere. He has to be.

Scott feels so useless. He should have told him. He should have just risked everything. He can't lose him but he can't live with these feelings unknown to Mitch either. Mitch can't be dead. He can't die without knowing how Scott feels. It's not fair. He's so young and so bright. He's so smart and he could do so much for this world. He can't die. It's not possible. Not now, not when he has so much to offer. Scott brings his knees to his body and circles his arms around them. But that's not enough for him and he starts pacing the room, trying to catch other information from the reporter. He can't let himself think of the worst thing. He has to be strong, he has to believe. Faith. He hasn't prayed for so long but now he's desperate. He needs Mitch to be okay, he'll do anything.

It feels like his world has stopped. Every second feels like an hour, it's all endless. Not knowing is the worst part. You can't let yourself cry too much, but you can't hope too much either. You just wait, simply putting your life on hold and you try not to think too much.

Scott feels numb, empty. He can't feel anything. He keeps trying Mitch's cell, multiple times, but each time it just comes up with voicemail. He thinks of leaving a message, but he can't bring himself to declare his feelings through a phone, especially if it's never gonna be heard by the most important person in his life.

It's gonna be fine.

It's almost 1am, but Scott won't be able to sleep anyways so he stayed glued to the tv, waiting for names to drop of the victims or something. Maybe his phone will ring. Mitch has to have his number memorized or in his wallet. Or his parents. What if...what if... so many what if's floating through his mind.

The sound of the key in the door doesn't even get registered by his brain. It's so fuzzy and clouded in his mind, nothing feels real. He hears footsteps and someone mutter under their breath. He must be imagining things. He's so tired and worn out, he must be hallucinating. Finally, he finds him in his peripheral vision, he stops when he sees Scott curled up on the living room floor, tears down his cheeks. Scott can't believe it. He can't bring himself to think it's real if it's not. He stays silent, waiting for this hallucination to disappear and leave him hopeless. He watches as the fake Mitch takes a step forward before stopping again, his eyes wandering from the tv to Scott, then back to the tv, a frown settled on his beautiful face.

"Scott? What's happening?" He doesn't get an answer. Scott can't talk. His throat is so raw and tight from crying. "Scott?" The tone coming out more concerned and it sounds just like Mitch. Scott finds it in himself to start crying again. "Come on Scotty, What happened?" In three steps he's right in front of Scott.

The blonde chokes on a sob and he has trouble breathing again. He finds himself praying for this to be real, for Mitch to actually be in front of him with a worried look on his face. He's fine, he's here, with him. He's rubbing  his back and murmuring soothing words in his gentle voice that Scott loves so much. He doesn't really see anything, it's too blurry because of his tears, but he can catch sight of Mitch eyes, so dark like the coffee he drinks, and it helps calm him down. He holds onto those eyes, he knows he can't be imagining them. They're never as rich when he does, not like how they are now.

It has to be real.

"Scott," he starts when it's silent again, "can you tell me what's happening?"

"You're here." His voice is so hoarse, it's hard to talk, but he has too. He has to make sure it's real. "You're really here?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Of course I'm here Scott. What's going on?" Scott is so relieved that he has to hug him. He's probably holding on too tight, but he needs it, so Mitch doesn't say anything.

"There was a shooting. That bar you went to." He can't explain it in anything more than a few words. "You were there. Couldn't reach you. Mitch...Mitch I thought you were dead." He starts crying again, but this time it's happy tears. He's here and he's fine. It's a relief. Mitch makes a move to stand up, but Scott holds on tight. "Don't let go."

"Never Scott." The way he says it is so tender it makes Scott's heart skip a beat. "But I really have to pee, Been dying for the past hour. I'll explain everything to you and cuddle all night if you want, but I need two minutes."

Scott lets him go. He feels panic start to rise again when Mitch is out of sight, but he's back before it settles truly. Mitch takes him to his room and climbs in his bed after getting rid of most of his clothes. He pats the covers next to him and Scott jumps on the bed and almost on top of Mitch too. He takes their hands and intertwines them, Scott just has to feel him. He'll need to hold him for a long time, all night and probably tomorrow too. Mitch runs his hand on Scott's arm and then settles on his hip, under his t-shirt.

"I'm sorry I scared you, I didn't know what was happening. I got bored really fast at the bar. You know I love the boys, but it felt weird without you there. I wanted to stay out a bit longer though so I started walking around. My phone died, probably why you couldn't reach me." Mitch explains slowly, making sure Scott understands him perfectly. "I thought I had more money on me but I only had a few dollars so I couldn't get a ride. I had to walk home, which took me two hours. That's why I was so late. Otherwise I would have been here before everything or right after. The guys didn't stay either so everyone should be fine. I'm sorry you were so worried. I didn't know." Scott doesn't want him to feel guilty, he shouldn't even have to explain himself like this.

"It was a weird night. I mean... I was already thinking about what I would have to say to your parents. You shouldn't feel guilty Mitch, I don't want you to feel guilty. It wasn't your fault." The brunette nods as he continues to rub circles into Scott's hip. "Not knowing is what makes you go crazy. I couldn't stand the idea of not seeing you again." He takes a deep breath. It's now or never. He has to say it and face the consequences. He knows that if he doesn't do it now, he'll regret it. "I thought I lost you. I can't say it made me realize things either because I already knew it, but it did make me put things in perspective. Life is short and I can't go on living it without you knowing how I feel."

Mitch's body tenses. "Don't," he whispers.

"I have to. I'm sorry. Even if you don't feel the same way, I have to say it, otherwise I'll never be able to move on...

"I think I've felt this way for a really long time, but I never really thought about it being a possibility, until Christmas. Last Christmas was special, so so special. Spending it with you was amazing. Whether or not we had to pretend isn't even important to me. Most of it was real, to me anyways. At the time, I thought we were only playing our roles, but I know I would have acted the same way had it all been real.

"And it was more than I could've imagined, being with you. I could spend days kissing you, and only kissing you. Fuck it. I'm in love with you Mitch. So damn in love with you that it terrifies me. I love every little thing about you. I love the way you sing along to every song you hear even if you don't know the words. I love the way you pour your milk first, then add in the cereal, even though it's wrong. I don't know, I could go on for hours. It just feels so right when I'm with you. Whatever we do, it's like we perfectly fit together, we balance each other out and I love it, I love you.

"You don't have to say anything, and you don't have to feel the same way, it's okay. I only wanted you to know just how much you're loved, because the thought of losing you without you knowing that, it killed me. You're incredible and you deserve every single good thing that comes your way and way more if I'm totally honest. I don't know what I would do without you." Scott can't help but grin. Even if he just poured his heart out and the feelings might not be reciprocated, it feels good to just get it out there. But his smile falters when he sees Mitch crying.

"Oh no, Mitchy, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry. I...maybe I shouldn't have said anything..."

"Don't you dare take that back."

Scott is so confused. He can't bear to see Mitch cry. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's one of the worst things he's ever witnessed. It feels like the sun is blocked by dark clouds. "You're so confusing." Mitch shushes him with a hand over his mouth.

"How can I put this... I've thought about this for years, and now I get to speak, and I don't even know what to say. That's actually a lie. I'll tell you what happened three years ago and it'll make you understand what happened last April. You remember when I went home with you when your sister got married?" Scott nods, because of course he remembers such a special occasion. "Your mom and I had a talk one night. I couldn't sleep and went to grab some water and she was up too. We mostly talked about you. She loves you so much by the way, she's incredibly proud. Anyway, she figured it out pretty easily that I was in love with you back then."

"What?" Scott couldn't help but mumble under Mitch's hand.

"Shut up. That's why she was so keen to believe you and I were dating last year. She knows I've had feelings for you and probably thought that I finally got the guts to say something. Damn this is frustrating. It feels like it's been so long that I've felt this way. I've kind of grown accustomed to wanting something I can't have and then you go and say 'let's play pretend for a week that we're together' and then you kiss me and you're everything I'd ever dreamed of. And then that last night...I couldn't stop thinking that it was gonna be over the next day and I just wanted to know how it felt to make you feel good and to be the one making you feel good. I didn't think much when I did it, it was impulsive and I just wanted to feel you. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about that since then. I didn't want you to start feeling anything for me because of that though. I wanted it to be genuine," he drops his hand. " becauses I love you and I've wanted you to love me back for so long, but not because you have a glimpse of what it was like."

"I think we're idiots. If I'm being totally honest, I think I've wanted to date you from the beginning. When we bumped into each other and you fell, you just got up and laughed. You were so beautiful and kind. I wanted to tell you from the start but I thought you'd already friend zoned me so I just let it get shoved to the back of my mind. It's always been there, but life goes on and you kind of forget about it. We've wasted so much damn time." He laughs, because it's so cheesy and cliche, like straight out of a rom com cliche. Best friends who are in love, but waste years before they start anything.

"Don't think of it as a waste. We're ready now, at least I hope. That's all that matters."

Their smiles are so bright. They're finally on the same page about things, feeling the same thing at the same time. Scott's not too sure what to do after this. It's a lot of kisses and touches and moans and laughs and so much of everything. It feels right, so right to love someone even on such a tragic night. Right now though, it's about them.

"How are we gonna explain that we actually started dating a year after everyone thinks we did?"

"We don't. It doesn't really change anything, does it? Our moms were right anyways