~

"Please don't make me go to a party," I whine while standing in my closet holding a dress that Adam picked out for me.
"Oh come on Alex, it's just a party to celebrate the start of the basketball season," he says while laying upside down on my bed.

I come out the closet, the dress still in my hands, and sit next to him.
"Which is exactly why you should just go." He turns around and lays correctly on the bed.

"I want you to be there with me." I sigh and roll my eyes.
"Why though, you'll be fine without me." Adam is pretty popular at our school and he definitely doesn't need me to have fun at a party.

"But I want to celebrate with my best friend, please just come with me, pretty please, pretty please with a cherry on top," he says while looking at me with pleading eyes.

I sigh again and say, "Fine, when you look at me with those puppy dog eyes,
how can I say no." I smile at him and he smiles back, then I walk to the bathroom to change into my dress.

As I change in the bathroom my anxiety starts to rise as I think about this party. There will be approximately 100 or more people at this party with alcohol and possibly drugs too. My heart beats faster and faster as I think about every possibility that something could go wrong.

When I walk out the bathroom in my red sun dress, my breathing gets shallow as I hyperventilate. Great I'm starting to have a panic attack. As I walk in my room and Adam takes one look at me, he comes over to me and guides me to sit on the bed.

"Alex just breathe, everythings okay. Just listen to my voice and look at what's around you, I'm here for you." His voice calms me down and I breathe in and out slowly.

When my breathing comes to a normal pace I put my hands over my face in embarrassment, even though Adam has seen me have a panic attack many times.
"I don't think I can do this Adam, I'm sorry." If I go to this party it's probably not going to go well for me. He looks at me and sighs then gives me a hug.

"It's your decision, but I really want you to be there Alex, it's our last year in high school and I want my best friend around as much as possible. By this time next year we'll be going to college and who knows when we'll have time for each other," he says while hugging me. My breathing speeds back up at the thought of us not seeing each other anymore but I control it again.

At that moment my cat jumps onto my bed and lays her head on my lap; Adam is still hugging me. "If I say I'll come, would you stop hugging me?" I say to Adam. "Maybe," he mumbles. I roll my eyes and say, "Ok I'll go, but only on one condition." He lets me go and sits up straight to look me in the eyes.

"I will do anything," he says. I look at him and say, "promise me that you won't leave me Ok? Not for college, not for a girl, not for anything, I'm going to need you for my entire life, got it?" I say still thinking about what he said earlier. He looks at me and then sticks his pinky finger out. "I pinky promise that I won't leave you and I hope you promise too," he says seriously. I look at his hand and wrap my pinky around his.

"I promise."

~

When we arrive at the party there's way less people then I thought there would be. "You sure we at the right place?" I ask Adam and he nods his head. When I think of a party I picture people packed into the house like a can of sardines, loud music, dancing, people kissing, and red solo cups. But this party is the complete opposite. The music isn't that loud, there's a decent amount of people, only a few are dancing, nobody's kissing, for now, and instead of red cups there are blue cups.

We walk into the main area of the house where the whole basketball team is and I get a little nervous. All of his friends on the team intimidate me and I get uncomfortable around them. "Adam, your here, didn't think you would come." They do the typical bro hug and Adam says, "of course, I wouldn't miss this."

Liam Paterson, the co-captain, looks over to me and I pretend I don't see him. "Hey Alex, didn't think you would be here," he says to me. "Hey," I say quietly but loud enough where they don't wonder what I said. I look over at Adam and he smiles at me then says, "let's get some drinks and I'll introduce you to a friend." I get nervous after he says that, but I follow him into the kitchen anyway.

Social interactions do not do well for my anxiety because of the fact that I have Social Anxiety Disorder. Me being here right now is a huge step for me, like really huge. I would do anything to be in my bed watching Netflix while eating s'more flavored popcorn right now. But I'm here for Adam and I hope he appreciates that.

Adam goes into the fridge and pulls out two red Gatorades, something he knows will help me calm down. He then goes into what I assume is a pantry, and takes out a zebra cake. I give him a look that says 'seriously dude,' because what are the odds that Liam has the only two things that calm me down, in his house.

"Oh wow, look at that," I say to him sarcastically as I grab the things from him. He just shrugs his shoulders and opens his Gatorade. "Follow me," he says after he takes a sip of his drink. I take a bite of the zebra cake and follow him into the den. I look around and see about 20 people in this huge den and I realize that this house is like a mansion or something.

I was so focused on my anxiety earlier that I hadn't realized that Liam's house is crazy big. I know his parents own a company in town or whatever, but damn. I feel like I walked into the white house or something. My house is literally the size of both his living rooms combined.

We walk up to these group of girls talking and even though I have a zebra cake and Gatorade, I'm still nervous. They look like supermodels standing there and I'm just an average girl. "Hey ladies, how's it going?" Adam asks them and I can feel my heart beating in my chest.

All three girls turn towards us, and a brunette girl with a nose ring says, "hey Adam, your late." She hugs him and I look away from them. I don't know how to act so I just continue to look around at everyone else. "So ladies, this is my best friend Alex, Alex this is Tiana, Sara, and Macy," Adam says. I recognize them from school and they are what you would call 'popular'. Tiana is Liam's sister and the other two are her sidekicks.

I give them a little wave and say, "hi." Tiana looks at me up and down and I look away from her stare. "I've seen you around school before; your usually with Adam or by yourself. I didn't think a party was your scene." She continues to stare at me and I feel intimidated.

Before I can think about what to say, Adam says it for me. "It's not, I dragged her here." He nudges me and I give him a look. "Uh yea, this is my first party," I say shyly. Why would I tell them that, it's so embarrassing. I look down at my feet and then back at them. "Well anyway, I just wanted to introduce you guys to her to make her feel welcome," Adam says.

I know he just wants me to make new friends, but why'd it have to be them. They are literally the last people on earth that I want to be friends with. We have nothing in common. A shy, reserved, and quiet girl like me would never hang with popular girls.

"Yea of course, I can show her around," Tiana says. "Ok great," he says to her and then turns to me. "You'll be ok with them right?" I look at him with concern.  "What, your going to leave me with them," I whisper to him. He is not about to ditch me. "You'll be fine, they're nice people." If you call stuck up bithces nice, then sure. "I'm just around the corner, don't worry." I'm way past worry, I'm in 'potential panic attack' now.

He gives me a quick hug, waves bye at the girls and then walks away. I give him a stank face as I watch him round the corner. I'm going to kill him. Why would he leave me here alone with "people". I cringe at the word people. This is not helping my anxiety at all, and I wanna disappear. "Follow me, we can hang in my room, I've done enough mingling for tonight," Tiana says to me. I follow her and the other girls up the stairs.

We get into her room and I'm not surprised, her room is basically a replica of Regina George's. Mean girls must be a huge inspiration to this girl. I feel so out of place, and I swear I'm going to kill Adam for putting me in this situation. I sit down and stare at literally anything, trying to avoid eye contact. "So, Alex right?" Oh god, she's talking to me. I nod my head, still avoiding eye contact.

"Are you and Adam like, dating or something? You two are always together." I quickly look up at her and say, "oh no no, we're just- close friends." Everyone always assumes we're dating. I wouldn't date him even if we were the last two people on earth. He's like a brother to me, I would never. Tiana nods her head in understanding. "I see, so you wouldn't mind if I took my chances with him," she says. I would rather die then see Adam dating someone like Tiana.

She is not his type and if they dated, Adam would force me to be friendly with her. The last thing I wanna do is be friends with Tiana. "Um no, go for it," I say with hesitation. I know Adam doesn't like her but I can't tell her that. She smiles and I look away from her. "Does he have a crush on anyone? What's his type," she asks me. I wish she would stop talking to me, it's making me anxious.

"Um, I don't know, he doesn't really talk about girls with me." Adam usually tells me everything, but one thing we don't do that often is talk about our dating life. Mainly because it doesn't exist, especially for me. There was Jenna in ninth grade, Adam had a crush on her and she was my friend so I tried to get them together. They dated for a few months until Jenna moved away in the summer. He hasn't dated anyone since, despite half the girls in our class being in love with him.

He's pretty popular being the star of the basketball team and all. Now that we're seniors, he's focusing on his future. "I see," Tiana say while nodding her head. I want to be done with this conversation so I don't say anything else. Tiana starts talking to the other girls about how her and Adam would be an iconic couple, but I tune it out. I pull my phone out from my pocket and decide to text Adam.
Me: I'm literally going to kill you later, so be prepared
He probably won't answer me right away but that doesn't stop me from sending more messages.
Me: I think I'm in hell, this girls room is like a shrine to mean girls and I don't think her favorite character is Lindsey Lohan's.
A few minutes past when he finally responds.
Him: really? That's funny lol 😅
I roll my eyes.
Him: I'll come save you soon
Me: We better be leaving
Him: your gonna have to drive 🥴
Me: Seriously? I really hate you
Him: love ya too 💕

Adam doesn't usually drink so I'm a little surprised, but I don't mind being a designated driver. An hour or two passes and I'm still in Tiffany's room, we started watching a movie a little after I texted Adam. It's almost 11 PM, which is my curfew, and no sign of Adam. I get up and slowly exit the room, without anyone noticing. I go into the bathroom that's across the hall and call Adam. He answers on the third ring.

"Where the hell are you," I ask him. I can hear loud music coming through the phone. "Alex! What's up, I'm hanging in Liam's room," he says slurring. Great, he's drunker then I thought. "We're leaving right now, it's almost curfew." I really don't wanna deal with a drunk Adam, but I have no choice. "Oh shit it is?" I roll my eyes and sigh. "Just meet me at the door please," I say annoyed. "Ok ok, I'm coming." I hang up and sigh again.

He said he wouldn't drink but that went down the toilet. I exit the bathroom and walk towards the stairs. Before I get to the stairs, I hear my name being called. "Alex, you leaving already?" I turn around and Tiffany is standing there. "Uh yea, my curfew is soon," I say. She nods her head and walks towards me. I look away from her, she's so intimidating. "I see, well before you leave I just wanted to ask for a favor." She's scaring me.

"Me and Adam would be great as prom king and queen. So I want you to put in a good word about me to Adam." Is she serious? Why would I do that, I hate her. "Yea ok no problem, I really gotta go," I say and quickly go down the stairs. I didn't want the conversation to go on any longer than it needed to. She's definitely a 'pick me, choose me' type of girl.

I see Adam at the door and I'm thankful for that. I grab his wrist and open the door. "Let's go," I say while pulling him to the car. I grab his keys from his pocket and open the door. I make sure he gets in before getting in myself. "Woah, where's the fire girl?" Adam says and I don't say anything. If I don't get out of here now, I'm going to have a panic attack. I'm never going to a party again.

~
Hey! Thanks for reading the first chapter of my new book!

If you liked this go check out my other published work!

Vote, comment, and follow me!

Love, Santana 💖