Dear Lily,

The last time I spoke with you, we ended up fighting and stomping away. I dunno about you, but I really don't want that to be my last memory of our friendship.

I'm writing to try and make up for the things I did this year. I was a total arsehole, I pushed you away, even though you'd done nothing wrong. And when you confronted me about it, I denied the fact that I was creating a wall around myself, only worsening matters.

If I'm honest, I miss our silly pranks and chats, I miss our group, Severus, you, me. I know you've replaced me already with McKinnon, and I'm happy for you.

As happy as I can be.

I'm friends with Gabrielle Flint now, you'd like her. She's a lot like you. In fact, the first words she spoke to me were nearly identical to the first words you spoke to me.

It was painful, if I'm truthful.

Anyway, this is my apology.

I'm sorry that I pushed you away, ignored you, and was a total arse. I became the thing I never wanted to be, a cruel Slytherin. I closed myself in after Severus began to ignore me. I forgot how you would feel about it. I was selfish and ignorant, and I really am truly sorry.

I hope that when we meet again (or if you do write back to me), we're on good terms. I realize that we can never be as close as before, and we can't change the fight that we had, but I really don't want things to end between us.

Have a nice summer. Don't let Petunia get you down. Enjoy the rays of sunlight at the pond.

Truly sorry,

Cas

I set down my quill, scanning over the letter to make sure I hadn't missed any errors or forgotten to add anything in. Sighing, I curled it up, strapping it to Picket's leg before opening up my window for him to fly out.

Hopefully Lily would reply.

Sighing, I flopped onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Posters and pictures were plastered to the top of my room, some containing the smiles of myself, Lily, and Severus, others simply cutouts from muggle catalogs that my parents occasionally looked through for entertainment.

I took one look at the picture of Severus, Lily and I smiling, and brutally ripped it from my ceiling, falling back onto my bed, clutching the photograph to my chest, eyes beginning to sting. A choked sob began to form in my throat and I set the picture on my nightstand. Pressing my palms into my eyes, I wiped away the burning tears.

I missed them.

I missed hanging out with Severus, teasing Lily, listening to their rantings about Potter and Black, adding in a bit of my own opinion.

Taking a deep breath, I rolled onto my side, looking down at the picture.

We were by the pond, Severus was laughing, his arm around my shoulder, Lily's eyes sparkling in the sunlight. I remembered how Lily's father had taken the picture for us, so it was still. A muggle picture.

Sighing, I stood up from my bed, the picture tight in my grasp.

It was time to move on.

I took a few deep breaths, it wasn't easy for me to let go. Holding the picture over my trash bin, I closed my eyes, and slackened my grip.

Time seemed to slow down as I felt the photograph slip from my grasp, floating down into the trash bin. I forced my eyes open, gazing sadly down at the picture, lying deep within the blackness of the garbage.

"Goodbye." I whispered.

---

"Have a great year, honey. And do remember to write. We've missed out on so much already, I want to know everything!" My mother sighed, hugging me tightly before kissing my forehead. I smiled into the embrace, still not used to the affection.

"Course." My voice was slightly muffled by her jumper, and I heard my father chuckle.

"Love, you're strangling Cascade. Loosen your grip a little."

My mother flushed, letting me go with a sheepish smile.

"Right. Well, you don't want to miss the train."

"What about me?" My father exclaimed, holding out his arms. I chuckled, and wrapped him in a hug, inhaling the comforting scent of pine needles and wind.

"Bye mum, bye dad!" I called, grabbing my trolley and walking over to the express. Finding an empty compartment, I stored my belongings and sat down, letting Eliza out of her crate. She curled around me with a small meow. I scratched her behind the ears and sighed.

"I'm going to go find Gabrielle." I told the cat, lifting her up and setting her to the side, before walking from the compartment. Glancing inside of the surrounding compartments, I only saw a few first years.

Walking down the train, I finally found her, sitting with who must've been Bradley and some other Ravenclaws. Not wanting to disturb her, I turned away, walking back to my compartment.

I was soon stopped by someone placing their hand on my shoulder.

"Wha- Oh, Lily." I jumped, clearing my throat. "Hey."

"Hey." She greeted. Her school robes were already dawned, and her bright hair was pulled back into a knot at the top of her head. "I-I got your letter."

"Isn't that lovely." I spoke flatly. She hadn't replied to my letter.

"Cas." She sighed. "I'm sorry too, okay? I overreacted, and I didn't pause to think about how you were feeling, you lost your only friend in your house. I didn't reply to your letter because I didn't think that I could write down what I was feeling. I wanted to tell you in person. But I'm sorry, and I miss you."

"I-I miss you too." I smiled sadly. "But things have changed. Did you ever find out why Severus left?" At this Lily exhaled loudly, and her eyes darkened.

"He wrote to Rosier, Avery, and Mulciber over winter break, got closer with them. They met up a little bit. Starting getting into the Dark Arts. I asked him about it over the summer, and when he denied it but then started talking about You-Know-Who like he wasn't that bad, I stopped meeting with him." Lily explained. "I know I should've written you, but I was just so conflicted and everything."

"I understand." I said. "That does make sense though, why he starting sitting and hanging out with them."

"Yeah..." Lily trailed off. "Do you want to come and sit with us?"

"Who is 'us?'" I said uncertainly.

"Marlene, Alice, and....Potter and his crew." She said with a slight blush. I raised an eyebrow questioningly, only causing her to blush further.

"Oh? When did this happen?"

"Nothing's happening, Elise." Lily snapped, but her blush betrayed her.

"Mhm."

"I-just shut up." She sighed. "He's not being a git like normal. He's actually acting kind of sweet, he wrote me over the summer. I don't even know what to think of him anymore."

"Well, let me know when you figure it out. And thanks for the offer, but I think I'll stay in my compartment. I dunno if your friends would like me joining in."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. I nodded.

"Yeah."

"Okay. See you around, then?"

"See you around, Evans."

"Bye, Elise."