The images still burn in the back of the mind. I can't imagine the hurt and betrayal he must have felt. Suddenly Chad grabs my hand, jerking me back into the present. "Come on," he says, leading me to his car, which is parked up the beach a ways. "Let's go get some lunch." I'm too overcome with grief and heartache to protest, so I meekly follow him to his car and get in the passenger side.

***

We drive for a time, but when I see the restaurant he's picked out, my eyes mist over. It's Maddison's Chinese. We used to go there for almost all of our dates. Trust Chad to pick the one restaurant I don't want to eat at. Nevertheless, I get out and follow Chad inside without giving any sign that I'm upset by his choice. We order quickly, then Chad excuses himself saying, "There's someone I'd like you to meet. Be right back." I'm hoping he has a girlfriend so things won't be so tense between us, but based on his comments earlier, I think not.

Soo he returns with a pretty brunette whom he introduces as Hannah, his newly adopted sister. She looks to be a little younger than us. Her hair is pin-straight and her blue eyes sparkle with friendliness. However, as soon as Chad leaves us, I notice something that most people wouldn't. Her complexion is white, almost pasty looking. Her eyes are dull and tired, and she keeps resting her hand on the table, as if holding herself up. "Hi," she says to me, extending a pale, thin hand. I shake it and sit down, observing Hannah closely as she does the same.

I watch as she winces in pain as she sits, and I have no doubts. She's like me. There's something wrong with her. And, surprisingly, it makes me trust her immediately. Before she can say a word, I ask, "Do you self harm?" She gives a start and stares at me. "Um..." "You don't have to lie to me, Hannah. I do, too." Her look of fear vanishes, replaced by one of trust. She sighs and goes quiet for a minute or two. I ask, "Who knows about yours?" "Just you and me," Hannah replies. "What about you?" "You, me, and my two best friends, Lisa and Sarah."

She asks, "Where do you do it?" "My arms," I answer, touching my hoodie sleeves for emphasis. "Inner thighs," Hannah says, tapping a spot on her thighs that's currently covered by the fabric of her jean shorts. "What do you have?" I ask curiously. She hesitates. "It's a little disgusting." "That's all right," I tell her. "I won't judge you." She sighs and whispers, "Anorexia and bulimia."

I've known a few people with eating disorders before, and it seems like I'm the only person on this planet who doesn't judge them. So I know that Hannah definitely doesn't want to go into detail about them. So, without commenting on it, I say, "Depression." Hannah gives me a soft smile and says, "You professionally diagnosed yet?" "Yeah," I answer. "You?" "No," she replies, which doesn't surprise me. "Do you have to take meds and all that crap?" Hannah asks. "No," I reply. "I didn't do anything about it when I found out." She nods mutely.

Tactfully I steer the conversation away from our self harm and towards my relationship with Chad. "So, are you like, dating my brother?" Hannah asks. "Not exactly," I reply. "We met one summer two years ago and sort of fell in love I guess. We moved after summer and after he accidentally saw my cuts. Now we're back here for the summer, and he's trying to patch things up with me."

"Do you want to be back with him?" she asks, causing me to ponder her question for a minute before answering. "I don't know. I loved him that summer, and I'm pretty sure I still do and always will, but I've got another boy on my radar right now." "Ooh, secret admirer, eh?" Hannah teases. I scoff. "Exact opposite. He's got a girlfriend, but I'm still hopelessly crushing on him." She nods, taking it in. Then she says, "Any chance Mr. Perfect likes you back?" I raise an eyebrow at her as if to say, 'Seriously?' "What?" Hannah asks innocently. "You're very likable." I shake my head. "There is absolutely zero chance he likes me back." "I wouldn't count on it," Hannah says. "I'll bet he does." I roll my eyes but don't bother arguing.

She smiles at me and asks, "Is your angel boy cute?" "Girl, he's freaking drop-dead gorgeous." "Ooh!" Hannah squeals. "I need to meet this dude!" I chuckle at her behavior. "You can meet him, if you want. He and his little sister are staying with us for the summer." "Lucky!" she says in a pouty voice. I laugh at the expression on her face. "Well, it's not as lucky as you think. He's kinda annoying at times, I'm constantly staring at his sexy body, and I have to go to the beach with him, which means putting up with his smoking six-pack."

By this time, Hannah's shaking with laughter, and I laugh along with her. By the time Chad comes back and our food arrives, I know I've made a new friend.

***
It's dark outside when Chad drops me off at the beach house. He walks me to my front door and stands waiting while I fiddle with the porch lights. Soon we're bathed in a fruitful, warm glow. I can tell that he wants to kiss me, but is waiting for some sort of permission. I'm about to pull the handle and go in when I see Tristan watching us through the kitchen window. A pang of sadness hits me as I wonder what it would be like if he was here instead of Chad. Immediately I dismiss the thought, angry at myself for being so obsessed with him. On a whim, I decide to take the first step towards forgetting the one and only Tristan Daniels.

Even though I'm aware that such a move will open up wounds that haven't healed yet, I stand up on my toes and fling my arms around Chad's neck, kissing him hard. Surprised, he almost pulls away, but quickly realizes what's happening and pushes his lips against mine. My tongue darts out and between his slightly parted lips. He readily allows me access, and wraps his hands around the small of my back. I bury my hands in his hair, sucking slightly on his bottom lip, which causes a soft moan from him. He pushes me up against the wall, and soon we're crushed together, so close that my lips are practically smashed against his. Soon we both have to pull back to breathe. When he releases me, his eyes are sparkling with lust and he's smiling widely. He picks up my hand and kisses it, English-style. "Until tomorrow," he says, and dashes off to his car. "Until tomorrow," I echo, watching him go.

Feeling oddly defeated and out of place, I slip inside. I look everywhere for him, but, much to my surprise, Tristan is gone.

AN: PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!! I'M SORRY! Yeah, I know, I know, they have to be together! Just trust me on this one. It'll all work out in the end, I promise. Please don't hate me. Anyways, vote comment all that good stuff.

All my love,

Em