Semi- warning ⚠️
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My mood had slowly dropped as the day went on due to the recall of my past. I have held a strong grudge on Jimin. I promised myself if I ever were to see him again I wouldn't forgive him, just to save me some pain and agony. He hurt me, a lot and I wasn't about to let something like that slide .

While I walked inside of my dorm, my mind still being focused on the fact of the past. I thought that I had been pasted that, but clearly I hadn't. I then went back to the thought that I was asked earlier this day to go to a party. I've heard of those thing before, but I hadn't actually experienced one. Of course I had a birthday party but with only ,sadly, Jimin.

I felt sick with myself I wanted to do something to stop, just stop thinking about everything, to get my mind clear. I didn't hesitate I walked into my room and opened up my closet to examine all clothing options.

I was going to that party, I hadn't cared anymore, that this was something I would never do, that this was against all I had wanted for myself, that this will possibly affect my school work. I stopped thinking so hard about everything ,I gave in.

I finally found an outfit to wear, I have picked a velvet purple crop top shirt, with a pair of black knee slit pants. That was paired with my only pair of running shoes, Pure white vans. I put on some mascara onto my lashes, and applied dark purple eye shadow. so that it could match with shirt. I look at the time to see that I had plenty of time to spare. But I couldn't help to think in that time period how frustrating but heart fluttering Jungkook makes me feel. I hated and loved the feeling it made me feel. But it overall made me scared. His beautiful eye gazes to his adorable bunny smile that catching my heart and as much as I tried, it never comes back, he has my heart in his hands and that's scary and frustrating. I don't need anyone to control me, but Unintentionally he does it, and he probably doesn't even know he's doing it.

Why is it now, that I am feeling all these things. No one ever made me feel this way, ever in my life had anyone ever. I keep reminding myself, how I had gotten myself into this. It was stupid, that was for sure. Walking up to a stranger to sit in front of them and the first thing I said was a greeting and telling him that I hadn't really have friends. How pathetic and dumb was I , I wasn't sure what had gotten into me that day.

Daydreaming, I look at the time to see that it was 10:30, the party had already started. I immediately got up from the couch that I had been on and I went out the door, locking it from the inside.

I started walking down the hall when I see people crowding in front of a dorm room with cups in their hands, only assuming that their was alcohol contained in it, as I saw a girl looking a little tipsy.I look at the front of the door to see the room number, to see it had been the correct room '1219'. I move across from the tipsy people trying not to hit or bump into one of the accidentally. I walked inside with ease and loud music was playing, people dancing in the living room, people in the kitchen chugging what seemed like beer. I look around the room only to spot at all corners a different pair of people making out.

I thought if this was how party's always been like? as this was my first time experience in any of this.

Someone hands me a drink, I look at the red plastic cup filled with the unknown liquid, to then only look at the person who had handed it too me.

"YOU, MADEEE IT"
"Indeed I did"

It was yugyeom and he had shoved my shoulder,
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PROPER FOR ONCE GODDAMN GIRL! HAVVEEE FUNN!"

I couldn't question him or ask him anything as he started screaming at the top of his lungs. at the smell of his breathe, He was definitely not sober. I took a whiff of the drink to smell, it was definitely a fruit juice with some alcohol base. I continue to look at the drink contemplating weather or not if I was going to drink it. I came here to stop thinking and I assumed that this would help so I started chugging the drink down, to only hear a guy beside me cheering me on. Moments after the cup had been finished the taste was bitter, strong, and fowl on my side but I searched the kitchen look for more.

I found the bowl filled with the alcohol fruit drink, I didn't hesitate to scoop my cup into it to fill it up to the brim. I chugged my second cup down and kept getting more and more until I started to feel sick. My body was feeling weak, and my brain wasn't in full focus. I started to forget what I was doing .

🐰🐰🐰
Jungkook's POV

A party.... a party....

Those words kept replaying in my head as if it was a nightmare. I started feeling weak thinking about it ,my body was shaking as I curled up in my bed. I hate parties, I'll never go to one ever again. The nightmare like experience came back into my thoughts.

1 year ago

First year in university and I already started as the hot shot, girls hadn't kept their eyes off me, I never let hands off them. The second week in ,my buddy Taehyung and I decided to host a party in my room that day. So later that night we got some boozes, and a large canister of beer. I told all my side chicks to spread the news and too my liking a lot of people had shown up. The party was loud lots of people making out, getting drunk, and dancing like there was no tomorrow. I was drunk and had made out with the closest girl to me, she was hot. I hadn't seen her before as I slipped my tongue into her. I press the back of her head to make the kiss deeper ,as it does She kisses back until she just stops. I looked into her eyes to see her shocked, looking behind me. I turn around to see a larger guy behind me, he had broad shoulders and his eyes were furious. I didn't have a enough time till I felt the pain in my jaw. The man just punched me. I was trying to recollect my thoughts of what was happening, but took me too long as the man had gotten on top of me, holding me to the ground with one hand ,as the other kept pummelling me in the face. I took each hit, too weak to push him off or to fight back. I felt as I was slowly losing consciousness. With blurry vision seeing him pull something out of his pockets, it was silver and sharp. Hearing muffling in the background  as  I see someone trying to push him off, but it hadn't helped me, as in a second I felt something pierce inside me, looking at the ground beside me, red blood spilling out of me, "well shit" was the last words I could say, until It went black.

I was trembling in my sheets, I don't sleep ,I think about it all the time. I can do things but at the same time it's not like I'm really doing it. I question everyday how after a year she could see me. No one could, No one can, I thought at least. The next day after the incident ,I found myself wake up feeling oddly light, as no one was in my room, shocked as normally Taehyung would stay over and sleep at my place as he hated his roommate, Hoseok as he was a nerd, to happy, and very smart. Taehyung wasn't into those type of people. Hoseok was to preppy for his liking.

I looked to see wear the stab wound had been, as it was located on my chest. Placing my hand on the wound, it wasn't bleeding it was a slightly open cut, but no blood had been leaking out. I changed into some clothes and got ready for class. I walked to class, to go up to Taehyung I called his name but he didn't hear me.

I called his name again but yelling it this time but he didn't turn around. I was getting really annoyed and frustrated so I stomped my way to him going to pull his shoulder to face me. But that didn't happen my hand went through him, and I fell on my knees, as taehyungs legs had been inside my chest, but transparent as I didn't feel anything.

I started to panic I hadn't know what really was happening to me. I get back up, and I walk over to a group of girls to hear them say my name. My eyes glistened maybe it's a really bad dream or that didn't just happen. I walk over happily hoping for good news .So I stayed a close distance to hear their conversation.

"Did you hear the rumour"
"What is it?"
"I heard someone say at Jungkook's party, someone killed him"
"I heard he was in the hospital"
"But someone told me it hit the heart?"
"He's a dead man, poor boy. He was a hot one"

My eyes went blank, I place my hand on my chest as I walk in the middle of them to wave my hand in front of them.

"What are you talking about I'm HERE"
"IM HERE"
"IM here"
"Im here...."

They didn't hear me.
Then from there no one ever spoke to me or even said a word of me. I was the ghost of the school. That's why I didn't want to screw with whatever chance I had.

It's crazy, it's odd. That randomly the next year , I meet a girl who can actually see me. It was shocking, I didn't want to ruin this blessing I was given. I wasn't in hell or heaven it seemed like. I didn't want to screw with whatever I was, I didn't want to interfere.

I don't touch her, I'm afraid if I do or if she does I'll disappear or even worse something might happen to her. Risking something like that wasn't something I was planning for. Again though I wasn't planning on dying anytime soon, but luck wasn't on side.

Last year, I used the time to think about all the things I did wrong , and if I were to have a another chance of what I would do. I believe that I had a past life that I don't remember, and I'm guessing I did some pretty bad shit if it got me to get killed at a young age. I thought about all the stupid things I did and there was a lot that I listed.

I believe if this body dies, I will be in another one with my soul but just not the same mortal body. Whatever I was right now, I used it to change myself to what I am now. I'm happy with it, in some ways. But depressing thought of how I am ,not alive makes me upset. My mind becomes negative, but lately these past few days it seemed to lighten up a bit.

She makes me smile, she's different. Not only because she can see me, but she sees me also for the new me, the good me. I thought the world had blessed me with one person that could talk to me, one person who isn't a douche, but a nice, kind, and pretty girl. A girl, that makes me feel what I like to think, alive.