Dipper hesitated to swing the axe. The band members smiled slyly at him as if daring him to even try. It wasn't until his eyes adjusted to the dark of the storage closet that he saw it. The monsters.

They each had scale-covered skin that shifted between two different colors in the light. Their faces were flat with orange-tinted eyes and a forked tongue that licked between pointed teeth. Their fingers and toes were webbed with claws that replaced their fingers.

It was something Dipper had never seen before. It was like looking through mist. He would blink once and see human boys and after a single heartbeat his eyes would perceive horrifying monsters.

"Pleasure to meet the famous Dipper Pines," the leader spoke in a voice that sounded more like a hiss. He took a step forward and Dipper immediately swung. But the head of the axe sliced through empty air. They had disappeared.

Dipper turned on his heel to see them standing behind him. He narrowed his eyes and began running towards them, holding the axe over his head. He swung down but the axe ended up slicing through empty air before striking the floor. Dipper stumbled and fell on his stomach.

"Interesting. . . this one's got quite the energy radiating off him," the leader said, leaning over him. "I'm guessing. . . you've been struggling with getting over a breakup?" he thought out loud.

Dipper didn't respond. He had plenty of encounters with creatures who would try to talk you into a trap. He refused to give them anything to use against him. So he decided to use the same strategy.

Dipper turned over on his back, grimacing in pain.

"And I'm guessing that you lure in your meals through singing? It's fascinating, really. I've never encountered something like it before."

A yellow-scaled member spoke up. "The ladies can't resist our songs. It's so easy! They practically throw themselves at us!" He looked like he could've talked for much longer but he was interrupted by the siren next to him that punched him.

"So males are immune?" Dipper asked.

"Not necessarily," the leader said. "There's many different preferences when it comes to music, but we never understood why the small percentage refuse to listen to us." He shrugged. "Humans are strange."

Dipper nodded. If he could just keep them talking for a little longer he could figure out an escape plan. He noticed movement coming from behind the clothing racks. It had to be where they had hidden their captives.

One siren noticed his wandering eyes and stomped down on Dipper's leg with such a great force that he was sure that it had broken the bone. He cried out and scrambled backwards. His leg grew numb and limp. Panic boiled inside his chest and Dipper felt his head spinning. Every time he tried to move, a sharp pain shot through his body. He was trapped.

"Now that you've had your chance to speak," the leader said, pressing a foot down on Dipper's chest, "why fight against us when we could do you a favor?"

"What?" Dipper said through clenched teeth. He tried to breathe but only felt the leader press his foot harder against his chest.

The siren laughed. "We read emotions. We can smell desire and what people want, even what they don't even know they want." He pointed a claw at Dipper. "And you want to be rid of the pain."

"You know. . .now that I'm thinking about it I really would like to not have a broken leg," he replied sarcastically.

"I'd save the jokes for later," a red-scaled siren said flatly.

"We feed off emotional energy and we could sense yours from miles away," the leader said. "You're really hurting because of someone who was special to you and we can make it all disappear."

"No," Dipper said. "I'm not trading my own family for replacing these feelings. You can forget it."

A siren's eyes trailed to the back of the room and the other sirens turned to see Mabel, Wendy, Tambry, and three other girls sneaking towards the door. They stopped in their tracks, eyes widening.

"Get them!" shouted the leader.

Dipper sighed in relief when the siren finally stepped off of his chest. He reached to massage his leg but sucked in a sharp breath when he felt another sickening wave of pain.

The sirens each captured the girls in their arms, holding up claws to their throats as if they were holding daggers.

"Please let them go!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Even if we wanted to, we can't," one siren said. "You know too much." A girl he held began to scream and he clasped a hand over her mouth.

"We've proposed our deal," said the leader. He was gripping Wendy by one of her pigtails and Mabel by hands. They stared at Dipper, looking the most scared he had ever seen them.

"So what's your next move, big shot?"

Dipper, breathing heavily, pulled himself up using a clothing rack for support. He balanced himself on one foot and stared at the sirens.

"I'm not accepting the deal," he said. "Because I can't control who comes into my life and who leaves, but I can decide how I let this change me." Dipper clenched his fists and looked down at the floor. "I loved Pacifica, but those girls are my family. And I'm not letting you hurt them or any one else after tonight."

"And exactly how are you going to stop us?" The siren chuckled. "We've already won."

Dipper's expression suddenly changed. He no longer seemed saddened or defeated. He lifted his chin, puffed out his chest, cleared his throat and began to sing.

"I can't help it if I make a scene-"

"-what are you doing?"

Dipper ignored the sirens and continued. "Stepping out in my hot pink limousine!"

The sirens cringed. They shuddered and tried to cover their ears but hesitated when they realized they were at risk of letting go of their captives. Mabel, Wendy, and Tambry noticed this and began to sing along.

"I'm turning heads and I'm stopping traffic when I pose they scream and when I joke they laugh-"

"-AHH! STOP THAT!" one siren exclaimed. He let go of two girls to cover his ears. He fell on the ground, trembling. The others looked fearful of the same thing happening to them.

"I've got a pair of eyes that they're getting lost in! They're hypnotized by the way I'm walking. I got em' dazzled like a stage magician, when I point they look and when I talk they listen!"

The rest of the sirens began dropping on the floor like dominos until the leader was the last one standing. His eyes were twitching and his body was vibrating. His grip finally loosened, releasing Wendy and Mabel.

Wendy, still singing at the top of her lungs, dove to the floor and grabbed her axe. "Everybody needs a friend, and I've got you and you and you-" she spun around and swung at the leader, cutting off his arm. "-too many I can't even name them! Can you blame me? I'm too famous!"

Dipper and Mabel continued to sing. "Haven't you noticed that I'm a star? I'm coming into view as the world is turning. Haven't you noticed I made it this far? Now everyone can see me burning. . . now everyone can see me burning. . . now everyone can see meeeee burning!"

Wendy tossed the axe to Tambry, who pointed it at the other four sirens. They stared at the two girls in shock and scrambled backward.

"What're gonna do to us?" they whimpered.

Tambry raised the axe but Dipper stopped her.

"I'm willing to let you go if you agree to this: I never want to see or hear about a Background Guys performance ever. This band is over," he said.

The four nodded in agreement, then shrank back when the leader approached them, crawling across the floor with his remaining arm.

"This isn't over!" he hissed.

Tambry handed the axe to Dipper, who held it at the siren's throat.

"Yes, it is," he said calmly. "And if you're as smart as you seem to think you are, you'll take my deal."

The siren scowled at him and looked away in defeat. He glared up at Dipper and gave him a subtle nod. Dipper pulled the axe away.

"Now leave before I change my mind."

And with that, the sirens disappeared within the blink of an eye. The group stood for a solid minute in silence, taking their time to soak in everything that just happened.

Dipper winced and took hold of Mabel's shoulder.
"Could you help me to the car? I think my leg's broken-" he was cut off when Mabel wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. Wendy and Tambry did the same.

"Thanks Dipper," Mabel said quietly. "You're the the best brother ever."

. . .

The car ride home was mostly silent with the exception of Wendy and Tambry's snores from the backseat. Dipper and Mabel spoke quietly, trying their best to not wake the girls.

"How did you figure it out?" Mabel asked when she stopped the car at a red light.

"Hm?" Dipper asked sleepily.

"How did you know that singing that song would stop the sirens?"

"I don't know. . . it was one of the last few songs I had heard on that cassette."

Mabel laughed softly. "You actually listened to it?"

"Yeah. Thanks by the way." He laughed, mostly to himself.

"What?" Mabel asked.

"I told you BABBA was better than the Background Guys."

"Shut up." Mabel smiled and sniffled. A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it off with her sweater sleeve.

Dipper turned to look at her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm great, actually," she said. "It's just. . . what you said back there really got to me. About people in our lives."

"It was sappy, I know."

"No. It was- it was sweet. I love ya, bro bro."

Dipper smiled. "Love ya too, Mabes."

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A/N: next episode: Dipper's Trip to the Hospital Followed by a Vacation Because My Son Needs a Break.

This has been my favorite episode to write action-wise. Plus I love the idea of something as innocent as a boy band actually being a group of sirens that lure in their victims through cheesy pop tunes.

I normally don't post twice in one weekend but I thought that I'd update anyways since this chapter has taken so long.

Also, a reminder that the next episode is part one of the season 1 finale!! I'm so excited!!

Stay tuned!!
-Cath

P.S: I'm aware that the song they sing during the last scene is from Steven Universe and that it has nothing to do with BABBA. I ran out of ideas and I'm probs going to edit it later.