A very strong & inspiring short story by @blackburnings ♥️

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Anger flooded into me as thoughts filled with fury haunted my burdened mind. Angst containing high intensity bubbled within me as I pressed my palm unto the surface of my study table in attempt to lock in all the negative energy. I was shaken.

In just a few minutes, the anger subsided. Instead, sorrow sunk in. Frustration swam its way into my veins, growing inside me. My heart slowed, sinking, now hopeless. Tears pooled in my eyes, and overwhelming sensations embraced my spirit.

'Cause all the kids are depressed, nothing ever makes sense
I'm not feeling alright,
staying up till sunrise

A tear dropped from my eye, streaming down my cheek.

Isn't it lovely? All alone
heart made of glass my mind of stone  tear me to pieces, skin to bone 
hello, welcome home.

Like a storm, memories grabbed me by my shoulders, intoxicating me. It turned onerous for me to properly breathe as traumatizing incidents from the past fought to take control of my soul. I shut my eyes, battling to block the suicidal thoughts. My hands uncontrollably shook, my breathing growing ragged.

When you're the hero, the thoughts pestered, who saves you?

Who understands you when you understand everyone? Who fixes you, they persuaded, when you're all broken and lost? Who finds the way out? Certainly not them. Who saves the saviour?

A gentle wave of strength rose within me. Soft and slight, but present.

Me, I fired back, I save me.

Oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here,
Even if it takes all night or a hundred years
Need a place to hide but I can't find one near

Because no one else can. No one can pick me up piece by piece and glue my million pieces back together. No one I know understands me like I understand myself, no matter how lonh they've known me — no matter how much I open up, there will always be something in me, some part in me the people I love will never get. Most of them can barely help themselves. It'll only be cruel to burden them.

I can do this.

I can save myself.

I'll pick every part of myself and reconstruct the sad excuse of myself once more. I will love myself better than I ever have.

I've done this before, and I will do it again. I'll make it.

It was last July. A year ago, I managed unite myself. I had accomplished in overcoming depression all alone. I forced my legs to stand when they couldn't support me. I feigned confidence until I became the definition of the word itself, pushed myself to ditch whoever I could, had they been toxic and trusted strangers by the command of my instincts.

I dragged myself to do things that scared me, practiced continous positivity, fed myself empowering truths and allowed myself to be free, resulting in the tasting of genuine happiness.

And with all that, I overcame social anxiet and depression.

It wasn't easy.

I refrained from pleasing others, especially my parents, for at least the next five months, I was relieved. I was actually happy.

I started to lose weight and got a little close to being fit, a result of daily but healthy, sets of workouts. And for the first time ever, I ran track. I won a gold medal. It was a shock. Pure ecstasy.

A weak smile surfaced, determination slowly seeping into my body system.

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

I'll make it, I promised to myself, Yes, yes I will.

I'm taking back what's mine.