At her core, she is not meant for greatness.
Not like she wants, not like how she so desperately
craves. It brings out the worst in her. Something carnal,
something rageful. It bears her opaque, fragile heart, caved
in by the sharp ribs she filed into pikes. And it burns so
intensely she believes it to be what made her so great.
But Astrid Odinsdottir lives a lie like she always has.
Like she always will.

Astrid Odinsdottir / Rage is a heavy burden

𓌪 ... 𓌱

Astrid Odinsdottir, you'll die saying you're unbeatable.

It's delusion at its best; suicide at its worst. Astrid will call it a strength, but it's nothing more than ego. It's reaching for something constantly missing and letting it consume her in return. It's saying, proclaiming, profusely that she's too strong to be handled, too strong to be taken over but then letting the thought wrap her wholly like a river trying to drown her. It's being on death's doorsteps again as it scoffs, unbeatable? Right now, you're just a scared little girl.

And then saying, I can be both.

Astrid is a special type of pitiful hope to the world and a liar deep in her heart.

It's not something that can be made, not in her. She thinks, perhaps it would've been easier, to be simply born with this following, innate need for something more, always something more, but this is evolution at its finest. This is Astrid taking this idea of what should be her's and letting it change from a girl into a weapon. A daughter into her own sword. Into anything but something alive with a bleeding soul. Perhaps she takes a little too much pride in that. There's a deep fear lodged within her. It's suffocating. Takes her heart right in the knuckle and squeezes just so she can feel something. Astrid wants because of it. She wants in the barest form; it takes over. She lets it swallow her up because then she thinks it'll be close enough to reach her. She'll take every lie because past it she sees something for herself and just for herself. It's carnal; it's profuse; it's all-consuming. There's a petty jealousy between siblings snuck in there. A something she'll never get no matter how much she wants because, in the end, someone came before her and another before them. It's following your brothers' footsteps so prudently because Astrid only see greatness where they lie;

But it's just another lie after another with Astrid. She knows from the start, but she thinks herself unbeatable, so maybe if she goes after it she can make a liar out of herself yet again, and that will be the truth for once. Astrid tells herself to go follow her brother like she always has and to pretend she's walking toe to toe with them. Somewhere along the way must be what she needs. She doesn't take into account that soon Thor will go one way, however, and Loki will go another. How Astrid couldn't account for that? You'll find her dead before she admits her mistake. When they do go their separate paths, Astrid is rendered useless and lost like the day she was born. Crying and begging in her mother's arms, she is exactly what she tries too hard to cover up.

The simple question remains though. Who to follow now? Because there's a great, big scary fork in the road where they've diverged, and it's just Astrid alone from here on out. She looks down the middle. It's not the same, so she thinks it's not for her.

Legends say Astrid is meant for something else. Fathers say that too. He tells her to not follow anyone anymore. He says, "Retrace your steps and come back to where you belong." Don't go forward, regress and be happy with where you came from. It leaves a sour taste in Astrid's mouth like blood that you spit out. Astrid picks up more than she realizes even as a young girl. Odin lets many things out, maybe for a higher reason, she's not sure. When he describes her story, the heroine is purposely left blank, a perfect mold to see herself in. The bedtime story every little girl wants to hear from their father. Then, she sees the empty walls of the palace, devoid of any carving. They're waiting for stories untold, waiting to be immortalized. Astrid sees herself there one day; that has been the plan. Even at that young age, however, Astrid knows that is not where she belongs. She doesn't wish to live in the walls where her story will remain trapped on the marble forever. Made for a higher purpose and all Astrid can think about is that eventually, someone will hide her behind a velvet curtain in favor for a newer, grander story. That's what was waiting for her. Right next to the want and the squeeze too. Away from Thor's, away from Loki's, away from the middle.

Astrid takes it with a grain of salt. She thinks of that as her new entitlement, her own inheritance.

It's an epiphanic moment for Astrid. If she's so clearly meant for something, clearly called to a story waiting to be told, why shouldn't she cut down the middle and go after her want?

Maybe it's a lie. Maybe Astrid can make her own truth out of it.

There is only one way to find out if Astrid's so unbeatable.

When something rumbles in the distance,

It's then she thinks, it's better than being nothing.

ASTRID ODINSDOTTIR 𓌪
of WAR & BLOODSHED

"Tell me, how does it feel with my teeth in your heart?"

Euripides 𓌱
Medea

LOKI ODINSON 𓌪
of TRICK & MISCHIEF

I am trying to write /
a poem in which I am neither a monster nor a martyr.

Meghan O'hern 𓌱
"You are not Just Anything"

THOR ODINSON 𓌪
of THUNDER & LIGHTNING

I have never understood where the line is drawn,
between sacrifice and self-slaughter

Hilary Mantel 𓌱
Wolf Hall

&&&.

𓌱 Extended Cast,

Alita Song 𓌱 Kailey Hsu
Josie Summers 𓌱 Kristin Kreuk
Tony Stark 𓌱 As Described
Steve Rogers 𓌱 Chris Evans
Natasha Romanoff 𓌱 Maggie Q
Bruce Banner 𓌱 Hugh Dancy
Clint Barton 𓌱 Charlie Hunnam
Bobbi Morse 𓌱 Yvonne Strahovski
Wanda Maximoff 𓌱 Gratiela Brancusi
Pietro Maximoff 𓌱 Jesús Castro
Stephen Strange 𓌱 Dev Patel
Peter Quill 𓌱 Diego Luna

More to be added ...

𓌪 ... 𓌱

        𓌪       All the graphics are made by me with resources I've found in various places (Pinterest, Tumblr, Google, etc). I do not any of the resources I use. The PSDs used are Dried Rose by bbyhyuck on Deviantart. Please do not take credit for, steal, claim these graphics in any way. If you take major inspiration from any of these graphics please PM for permission. However, the layout and therefore some of the graphics ideas belong to ibuprofenstarr . Go check her out! The
idea to use comic book characters as FCs as well is by bayports ! A lot of the gifs for Astrid (Lydia Graham) are by youngfcs on tumblr as well!

        𓌪         Antagonize Me contains many difficult topics that may be difficult for readers. Watch out for blood & gore, vivid descriptions of death and violence, mental illness, PTSD, abuse, and terrible family dynamics. If there is anything else that may be triggering that I did not add, please don't hesitate to tell me.

        𓌪          I do not own the rights to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Comics, or any Marvel property related to this book. That all goes to Stan Lee, Disney, and its rightful owners. I only own Astrid, my own contributions, and what comes with the 'Remnants of Agony' Saga.

        𓌪         'Remnants of Agony' is a saga that shows multiple interconnected stories overlapping in the 616! + 199999! Marvel universe. It follows numerous characters that will meet various times over the course of Phase 1 and beyond. There are 3 stories that we will primarily follow

             i.   Astrid Odinsdottir (Antagonize Me) ¹
             ii.   Alita Song (Songbird) ²
             iii.   Josephine Summers (The Kids Aren't Alright) ³

         But many other stories will be seen as listed below:

        PHASE I:

            [ Antagonize Me ] ¹
            [ Songbird ] ²
            [ The Kids Aren't Alright ] ³
            [ The Agony of it All ] ⁴

        POST-PHASE III:

            [ Fester ] ⁵

        And more to come ...

        𓌪      Antagonize Me has been probably the longest project to stick with me through everything. Like this is my most valuable project, and Astrid is my favorite OC like ever. I'd like to think she's a very complex character from beginning to end. She struggles with self-identification especially growing up with Loki and Thor, mainly Thor. And then when Loki betrays them it's like she loses any sense of herself. I don't want to get into too much of it seeing as it is a looooong journey, but I'm so excited to finally be ready to publish Astrid. I've had multiple drafts and even published this way before in 2020 or 2021, but now it feels right.

        This is a part of a saga as stated above. I'll post the other books once I've gotten a good amount of AM posted.

        I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE HER AS MUCH AS I DO!!!!

SIIKSONIC © 2020