The next time they met, two nights before the caravans left for Qian, Anshi and the High Minister had been avoiding each other. Anshi was giving the High Minister the cold shoulder as usual. His equilibrium was off-center when Han was around. There was something so off-putting as the older man seemed to come out of nowhere, watching him. So used to their history, Anshi was always on edge, convinced that High Minister Han was going to fall into the old role of critical analyst, finding fault, expressing disapproval with a side glance and tight lips. He HADN'T yet, but he COULD. And Anshi was no longer a frightened friendless child desperate for never offered approval. Besides, the Eunuch had been a kid too, at the time, hadn't he? Finally, he decided to act first and invited the Minister over for a light dinner and some drinks. He felt more secure in his own home. At least he didn't need an instrument of torture hanging around to remind him to be perfect, flawless, and eternally cautious.

The dinner had been business as usual, and Anshi decided to be blunt. "High Minister Han, you have been here several days and I am sure you have seen a lot of my management skills. I wish you would get to it and offer any advice on my many errors. I am sure your list is extensive."

Han looked at Anshi in astonishment. "Why on earth would I offer any advice to you, Chieftain? I am not here to judge your leadership and if I were, I have seen no faults. I was not here to look for any. Chieftain, we have mutual enemies. In my business, I would never allow my country to ally itself with someone who was a weak and inefficient leader. You are neither of those."

Anshi absorbed this then walked over and removed a bottle of liquor from his cabinet.
"I may have misjudged you in this matter. I apologize."

Han nodded his acceptance of the apology. "What is the liquor?"

"My brother Wei Ying's favorite. Emperor's Smile."

"I have tried it before, at a bar in Gusu. I like it."

"You surprise me, High Minister. You have a lighter side."

"At times." He knocked the drink back and held the cup out for a refill. Anshi quickly complied and did the same for himself.

"I do not know much about you, whereas you know all of my childhood story. You have me at a dis-advantage, and I find I do not like that."

Han looked at him cautiously. "Go on."

"I have been curious, since the day I met you. I have never heard a thing about your circumstances. I would like to hear it. But if it is something you do not wish to discuss, I will not press."

For a moment Anshi thought he had seen a look of fear on the Minister's face. The older man took a moment before formulating his reply. "I...had not thought that my story would interest you. And I am...not sure. The one living person that knows the details, outside of my family, is the Dower Queen. I am not ...a man who divulges personal matters easily. I do not trust many. Anshi, ours is not an easy relationship and I have never deliberately handed this knowledge to anyone unless they have my trust."

"High Minister, the one thing that I know about you is that you are absolutely a man of your word. I hope you can say that about me. If you do, then I would listen, without judgment. Think on it. If the answer is no, I will not be offended."

Anshi started to turn away but the measured tone of the High Minister stopped him. "I think this may take several more drinks first."

He drank the next cup as quickly as the first two and it still took a while for him to find his words.

"I remember when I was 4, how drastically my life changed.

My father was a mid-level administrator and had reach the pinnacle of what he could achieve. I had two older brothers whom I adored and being the baby, I was the special apple of my mother's eye. I remember that my parents began arguing one day, their voices muffled and harsh. It was not like them, and I knew, whatever was being discussed, my father had prevailed, leaving my mother weeping behind locked doors.

I stayed in my own room for a day or two, studying my math, which I loved, and reading. Then one day, I was summoned to my father's study. My mother still stayed in seclusion under lock and key. I was certain she must have been sick, for her not to come out. I missed her terribly."

Han paused and took a long drink of water this time. He wiped his brow and was silent for a few moments.

Anshi raised a hand and said. "This is too much. I have changed my mind. You need not go further."

Han shook his head. "Strange . People say speaking eases the heart. I am not so sure. it feels just about the same, actually. The hell with the water. I would like another cup of alcohol please."

The young Chieftain poured them both a drink and then sat down and waited patiently.

"My father was a blunt man. While he was proud of his position, proud of his wife, and proud of his sons, what he wanted most in the world was to be a success. And he did not care in what way he accomplished it. One of the things that the old king coveted the most was talent. He taught that trait to his son, as you may well remember. At the time the old king was insistent that talent culling from every precinct was to become the rule, not the exception. He wanted the best minds to surround him so that he could continue to build a strong and indomitable capitol city. Cases of extraordinary talent were brought forth to him and someone had mentioned my talent with math, my mature way of expressing myself, and my interest in public affairs at a very early age. I learned many years later, that the king had suppressed my father's advancement and then let it be known that there was only one bargaining chip that my father could use to become a higher-placed official. If he was ruthless enough and dedicated enough, then the king would promote him. And I was that bargaining chip."

Han took another shot of the liquor. "So that day, in his office, my father told me that in two days I would be taken away and examined by physicians, to make sure I was good and healthy. He lied. When those two days passed men took me... It was not to see a physician. That was the day that I faced the knives. That was the first time that I wished for death.

Another drink and Han's speech was becoming a little slurred. "I was taken back home after a week and turned over to my mother to supervise my ongoing recovery. She could not look me in the eye. She would tend my wounds with tears running down her face but every time I would raise my arms for comfort, she would turn her head and refuse. She told me that a person in my position needed to learn that displays of affection were no longer allowed. That my destiny was to leave us in several years and to become an educated assistant to the old king. When I completely healed I was brought before my father. That is when reality was finally drilled into me. My brothers were older, healthier and the family could afford to educate them and find good marriages for them. My value lay in the fact that the king wanted me to join his stable of advisors as I aged. I was no longer considered a real male. I was simply a eunuch and as a eunuch, I had no real status in society. I was useful only for my capabilities as a servant and for the sharpness of my intellect. I was doing a great service for my family by being chosen, and, as long as I worked hard in the niche that I was expected to now fill, I would be doing proper duty for having been born and cared for for the first four years of my life. I was to leave and go to school within the palace walls and there I would stay for the rest of my life. The last month that I spent at home was horrific. I was hounded and degraded by the other children that lived nearby, often led by my brothers. My mother stayed sequestered in her room for the rest of my time there. I could often hear her weeping. Several days after I left I heard the news that she had committed suicide.

My father married again and had more children, none of whom I ever met. By the time you met me, I had become frozen and cold and totally dedicated to making Qian the greatest territory in the land. It became my only focus, my only passion, the only thing that gave me the strength to survive.

Many years later, as one of my duties, I was set to review old records and to report any suspicious activities. One of the miscreants I discovered was my own father and I never thought twice about it. I turned the evidence over. He was punished by being stripped of everything and banished with nothing but the clothes of a pauper on his back. His new wife and children left him and returned to her old home. My brothers live in obscure positions in distant outposts and their letters asking for money are always returned with no answer.

And that is that." Han was slurring by that time and fell back into his cushion. Anshi staggered over and laid a blanket over him. "And I thought I was the only one with a fucked-up story to tell.

That was pretty ugly Hi...High Minister Ha...han."

He heard a sound and realized the man was passed out cold. Anshi rang a bell and asked Han's bodyguards to enter. They took one look at their Minister and turned to glare at Anshi.

"For sh...shit's sake, he's sh...shitfaced and needs to sleep it off. Pour him into bed. Okay?"

The next day, they passed each other by. Han paused.

"Chieftain Anshi. Please excuse my behavior last night. I remember little after that first drink." His face was like stone.

Anshi stopped and replied. "Do not worry. What little I could make out, made little sense." His voice was once again aloof and cut like a knife. As the distance widened, he muttered, "Asshole," under his breath.