Many months had gone by since Ichimatsu had fully recovered from the hospital, finally getting to know what happiness was. He never went back to his old habits of living in the alleyway either. Unless he was going out with Jyushimatsu to feed the feral cats at the alleyway, Ichimatsu stayed at home. He never left the house without one of his brothers.

Of course, he didn't want to live a life of seclusion. He had to stay at home, constantly being watched by someone.

Only a week after after Ichimatsu had left the hospital did one of the doctors call the home phone, saying the he could never be left all alone. It just wasn't safe.

Being constantly watched strongly irritated Ichimatsu at times, but then again, he had grown fond of the comfort he felt in the presence of his cheery, unemployed brothers.

One day, as Christmas was just a week away, Ichimatsu sat in the corner of the living room, thinking to himself as he hugged his new white cat, Kibo.

"I'm starting to find it harder and harder to remember the times where I wasn't constantly being watched. It's infuriating to think they're actually expecting me to hurt myself when they turn their backs on me. Heck...I know I'd get lectured by them all if I did that. They'd tell me what a disappointing pile of garbage I am. Why don't they believe me when I tell them I'm 'happy'? I don't want them to worry about me. They don't have to worry about me...even if that sickening feeling in my chest is STILL there, they don't need to worry. I'm too pitiful to hurt myself..." Ichimatsu thought, listening to Kibo purr quietly.

"I wonder if the heater is gonna go off!" Jyushimatsu laughed loudly, causing Ichimatsu to jump.

"Eh," Osomatsu said, rolling over onto his back on the floor. "At least it's better than the old one we had."

"It was always running out of gas too quickly," Choromatsu said, slightly sighing as he flipping through a magazine on how to get employed.

Todomatsu looked at his phone, his eyes shimmering with happiness.

"There's a new sandwich shop that's opening in town this week! It looks so cute on the outside!" he giggled.

"Tch..." Ichimatsu spat, "that's an opinion.." He still had fond memories of being at the Cat Cafe, and he also had a strong feeling that this sandwich shop was going to be there. All summer and autumn long, people had been working inside the old Cat Cafe building, renovating it into a new place to eat at.

"My brother," Karamatsu said, holding up a mirror, "do not be so bitter about life! No matter the struggles-"

Choromatsu picked up his magazine and threw it at Karamatsu's face.

"What was that for?!" he exclaimed dramatically. "Do not ruin my beautiful face of perfection!"

"Last I checked, it looked like everyone else's here," Osomatsu said, rubbing his index finger under his nose while grinning.

"There's nothing special about it," Todomatsu added, smirking.

Karamatsu sighed and sat himself down on the green sofa, looking at himself once again in his mirror.

"Painful..." Ichimatsu muttered, standing up. "I'm going to the roof," he announced, still holding Kido in his arms.

"I'll go with you, nii-san!" Jyushimatsu exclaimed, hopping to his feet excitedly.

"But it's freezing cold outside. The roof might have ice on it too. You could fall and hurt yourself, Ichimatsu," Choromatsu said, his eyes full of concern.

"I doubt it.." Ichimatsu mumbled. "I'm going either way. I don't care about pain."

"Nii-san is scary!" Jyushimatsu laughed, grabbing his brother's purple hoodie sleeve. "Let's go!"

And so the two climbed to the roof on such a dangerously cold day.

As soon as Ichimatsu sat down, Jyushimatsu threw a random question at him.

"Nii-san, how does pain not bother you?" he asked innocently.

"Tch," Ichimatsu spat, "well when you've dealt with the same feeling for so long, you get used to it. It's nothing special."

"What feeling?" Jyushimatsu asked.

"Do you really want to know? Or are you just trying to be annoying?" Ichimatsu asked right back at his brother. Kido blinked open his soft blue eyes and stared lovingly up at his master.

"Nii-san are you sad?" Jyushimatsu asked.

The two only seemed to be asking questions, never getting answers.

"I'm not sure sad is a word to describe the way I feel, Jyushimatsu," Ichimatsu replied, slightly laughing in spite of himself. "Its like an aching pain in your chest that won't go away. Almost like something is there, and there really isn't. And you can hear things, Jyushimatsu. You can hear voices in your mind. You think they sound like just your own thoughts, but they're not. It's a monster. That's what it's like. It's like there's a monster that lives inside of you, trying with all its might to get the best of you. And believe it or not, that monster is always winning."

Jyushimatsu nodded his head somewhat understandingly, his mouth still in an open smile. "That makes sense, nii-san!" he laughed. "I felt like that before too!"

Ichimatsu widened his eyes in fear, quickly looking away from his brother. Was it Homura? Did he still grieve for her? Did he feel guilty over her death? Ichimatsu wanted to know.

"I'm going inside now..." Ichimatsu mumbled. "It's getting too cold for Kido..."