Chapter Forty-One

❝She fell for the idea of him,

and ideas were dangerous things to love.❞

Two days before finals.

     It felt like only yesterday did the East Coast Championships started. Only yesterday that she was carrying water bottles with her bare hands and collided with Theo. Met Zach. Got sucked into this world with them.

     It made sense that today was one of the most crowded days of the summer. Though it was not finals yet, the coordinators of the championships held a "practice" day in which the finalists basically show off what they got. It was suppose to be somewhat private, but spectators recognised the surfers and got a little too excited.

     The bad part was, since this was all unexpected, Anchor's was short on servers. Most of them were taking care of the mass influx of customers at the shack, leaving very little people available to attend to the championships itself as a sponsor.

     But that was what friends are for.

    "Okay, Daisy, you take care of the refreshments for the finalists," El instructed, passing her a note of things she needed to obtain from the shack, "and Theo, you make sure the lunches are set and ready for the judges and coaches. Don't forget to add a water bottle for each of them."

    "You're so cute when you're bossing me around."

     El grinned and tiptoed to kiss his cheek. "Thank you for doing this."

    "Just say the word, love — "

     Daisy shoved him forward. "Okay! Less lovey-dovey and more work!"

     Theo rolled his eyes and let Daisy go forward anyway, staying with El for a little longer. She expected for him to return the kiss.

    "I need to tell you something before I go," he cleared his throat.

     She blinked. "Sure, what is it?"

     He bit his lip. "It's about Travis." El almost dropped her notepad. What did he do now? "Nothing happened, it's just something I ought to mention. The other day when I was running, I, uh, saw him... talking to Alex."

     El's frown deepened even more. "Alex? Like — asshole Alex?"

     Theo chuckled. "Yeah, Asshole Alex. Anyway, it looked like they were friends, and apparently they go to the same school together."

     Alex went to Warwick? She remembered Zach telling her about a college, but she wouldn't have expected for him to be in the same as Travis was. The same one as she would have been.

    "How did you find out about all this?"

     He put a hand in his pocket and shrugged. "Did some digging. I don't know if it's anything serious, but... just wanted to let you know. I found it kind of... weird. Don't you think?"

    "Yeah," she said absentmindedly, chewing on her bottom lip. "I mean, Travis never did mention any of his college friends to me. Nothing specific."

    "Maybe he had a good reason not to."

    "Lover boy, why are you still lingering there?!" Daisy yelled from the other side, and they both flipped around. "We have a job to do, hello!"

     Theo sighed. "We'll talk later, yeah?" he grazed a finger down El's cheek, affectionately. "I'm sorry that I sprang it like that. Felt like I was keeping something from you."

    "No, I'm glad you told me." She smiled, then pushed him playfully. "Now go."

     He grabbed that hand and walked backwards, brushing a soft kiss across her knuckles and not letting go until they were a few feet apart.

***

     Things were running so smoothly that, when she saw the next thing that happened, she was more confused than concerned.

    "Len!" Zach came running towards her, his blond hair flying all over the place. "Len!"

    "Zach?" She let out a nervous laugh, frowning as he arrived seemingly out of breath. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?" 

     She had a gut feeling that something was very, very wrong.

    "I — everything was fine," he heaved, "when Daisy was taking care of us. Then Theo showed up to help, and Travis started losing it — "

     El's body was reacting faster than her mind was, heart pounding and legs moving fast to get out of the shack.

    " — and you can't see it from here, but it's bad, really bad, you have to go there right now — "

     She'd already took off to the centre of the beach before he could even finish his sentence.

    "I didn't ask for your help, Samuels," she could hear Travis's venomous voice ringing through the crowd, standing out because of how obnoxiously loud it was.

    "I'm only doing what I'm told to do." Theo's voice, dangerously sharp.

    "Oh? Must be from Lenny, right? The boss around here?"

    "Move! Excuse me! I'm sorry, please move!" She pushed and shoved people out of the way, not even bothering to apologise.

    "Did she tell you to cheat, too?"

     El's blood ran cold. 

    "I heard that you weren't the most loyal boyfriend either, Travis."

    "Don't switch the narrative."

    "You were a fucking asshole to her," Theo snapped, "You treated that girl like shit and you abused her all the way through!"

    "Hey!" She finally got through, and saw Daisy standing between the two boys, hands outstretched in front of her. The blonde looked relieved at the sight of her, and El joined the circle, this time facing Theo so Daisy could face Travis. "Stop it, guys, right now."

    "Abuse?" Travis scoffed, ignoring her, his whole attention on Theo. "Wow, you've got some imagination, don't you?"

    "It's the truth," Theo spat, not even sparing a look at her as well. Like the two of them weren't even arguing about her anymore; just using her as a weapon but in their own battle. And when she saw Theo's eyes...

     There was so much hatred in them.

    "You think you're some kind of hero, Theo?" Travis stepped closer, forcing Daisy to push him back hard. "Don't think I forgot about your little misbehaviours. You murdered someone, Theo. You said I abused Lenny? You verbally abused them until they fucking killed themselves!"

     "FUCK YOU!" Theo screamed, veins popping out of his neck.

     "Theo, baby, please breathe — "

    "You think you're so fucking special?" Travis laughed manically, enjoying seeing him get riled up. "She fixed Wanda, she fixed Jeff, she thought she could fix me and now she's fixed you. Don't you get it? She likes broken things. It's how she feels validated. You're just another charity case to her," he snarled, pointing a finger at El now. "Hell, she doesn't even like you. She only likes how helping you made her feel."

    "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

    "Oh, I don't?" Travis chuckled. "I've known her for years. Better than you ever did — "

    "Trav, shut your damn mouth — " 

    "— and in so many different ways," he continued, a malicious smile as he disregarded Daisy. "Tell me, Theo: when you fucked her, did she make that little noise she makes right before climaxi — "

     "TRAVIS!" El yelled as loud as she could until her throat hurt, until everything hurt. Angry tears clouded her eyes."That. Is. ENOUGH!"

     That was when Travis finally blinked, as if just noticing her. His eyes as bloodshot as hers, and he swallowed hard as they met face to face for the first time. Such a familiar face, but so unfamiliar at the same time.

     He backed away, scoffing to himself.

     She closed her eyes momentarily and took a deep breath. It was time for her to turn around. But she was so scared of what she'll see.

     When she did, Theo looked the most murderous he had ever been.

    "Theo," she whispered, pleaded, cupping his cheeks together, smoothing down the taut lines. "Are you okay? Please, don't listen to him, okay? Just tell me you're okay. You're okay."

     His murderous eyes immediately softened as he looked at her, but she could still feel him shaking. Baby, she almost begged, wanting to protect him with all her life. 

     He didn't say anything. Maybe he just couldn't. Instead, he slumped his forehead against hers, harmonising his breaths with hers. He breathed in slowly. That's it. She tiptoed a bit, brushing his nose with hers, and he let out a deep sigh, brushing the knuckles of her hand.

     And then he just walked away.

     But she understood. She let him go. Because there was someone else who needed to be handled.

    "Travis." El whirled around. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" 

    "Me?" he screamed back. "You're always doing this, Len! Always assuming everything is my fault! You ever think you did something wrong yourself?!"

    "What did I ever do? Huh?" She spread her arms out, and this time, a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. Travis's eyes zoned on it, and he sucked in a breath. "What did I ever do to you?"

     "You think you're so perfect," he hissed at her. "You know what I think? I think out of all of us, you're the most messed up. At least we're up and front about it. You? You're too afraid to admit it." He laughed. "Take a look in the mirror, Len. The only person that needs fixing is you."

    "You've crossed the fucking line, Trav," Daisy snarled, standing beside her. El blinked back tears; she'd almost forgotten she was there.

    "This isn't you," El whispered, holding back her sniffles. She remembered what Theo told her, about him being friends with Alex. "I know why you've changed. Just please — "

    "Seriously, Len!" Travis gripped the ends of his hair in frustration. "You have this crazy belief that everyone is who you thought they were. Well you're wrong. We all can't believe in fairytales and butterflies and rainbows. We all can't have that luxury."

    "No," she jutted her chin, meeting him in the eye. "We can't. But you know what? It sucks to believe that the one person you believed in, the one person you thought had so much potential and good inside of them — they're gone. It sucks to not believe in them anymore. Because that's you, Travis. You've become that person."

    "And out of everything, I just feel sorry for you."

     And Travis did something he had never done before: he flinched.

     Even that couldn't bring any satisfaction to her anymore. And somewhere deep, deep in El's chest, her heart ached as well. 

***

     She found Theo sitting at her front porch.

     He had his head in his hands, his gaze focused on the gravel beneath him like it was the only thing holding him together. When he heard her footsteps, however, he looked up in an instant. Reddened blue eyes meant exhausted brown ones.

    "Sorry," his voice was rough like the voice in him had drained. "I needed a walk to clear my mind."

     El smiled down at him. She walked close enough to tuck his chin up higher. "You don't need to apologise."

     His eyes flickered around her features, searching for what, she didn't know. Neither of them were brave enough to say anything else.

    "Is it true?"

     El frowned at him. "What's true?"

    "What he said." He dipped his head down again, his tone so hesitant and filled with doubt and insecurity.

    "Theo." Her heart hurt so much, throbbing at seeing him in so much pain. She crouched down so they were at eye level. He still avoided eye contact. "You know that's not true."

    "It's true." His voice was hollow. "I'm broken, aren't I?"

    "Hey." El held his face in her fragile hands, brushing his cheekbone, the arch of his eyebrow. His eyes fluttered shut. "Everyone's broken. But you know what?" She kissed his forehead. "We're broken in the slightest of ways, only for the light to get a chance to slip in. And even if you're broken," and that's when he met her eyes again, brighter this time, "it doesn't mean you aren't whole. Okay?"

     Theo stared at her for a while, like he was just registering her words. Then he chuckled, the low rumble of his voice making her body warm. "I'd say you got that from a movie," he reached out his hand to brush his thumb over her lips, "but I know you're just that cheesy."

     She grinned until her eyes crinkled at the corners. "I lov — "

     She stopped. 

    "You what?" he whispered.

     El didn't know why she hesitated. She knew deep in her bones that she did love him, with all her heart. And it wasn't something surprising — like this thought has been carved in her for so long.

    "I love you," she repeated, louder this time, plain and simple.

     The look on Theo's face was indescribable. "I love you," he whispered hoarsely, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her onto his lap. She inhaled a deep breath at the intensity in his eyes. "Fuck, I've loved you since the day I met you."

     Her heart soared out of her chest.

     They kissed slowly, passionately, like they had all the time in the world. Like no one else was in the neighbourhood but themselves. 

     But somehow, the kiss tasted bittersweet. Everything they'd built — the blissful weekends that they'd endured — all the progress of healing had been gone in a single blow.

     Travis was a catalyst. Travis was proof that their demons didn't just disappear. They could come back in the most unexpected way. They could wake up again.

     El only feared the day those demons would win.  

A/N:

I am so, so sorry.

(Also, got Travis's "fuck her" asshole-ish line from a book I read, so it's not mine, but hell it'd be something Trav would say.)