I decided to write the next chapter already because the Prologue was planned a little longer and I really feel the need to write this story write now. But after this I will first of all finish Term 3 of my other story then write the Prologue for my Larcel story and then I will finish the mermaid one while maybe in between updating this one already. 

This will almost the whole time be Louis' point of view. So no changes all the the time but maybe at some points for a better understanding. We will see.

The * is a Warning for people how could get triggered by the things I put in the Trigger Warning in my description. It will be there everytime hopefully. 

Isn't Louis the prettiest person in the whole world? I want to see him happy all the time <3

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After Biology they had a little twenty minutes break. In those breaks Louis always hid in the library or something similar with Eleanor and Niall. He really didn't need to cross ways with Harry or one of his idiotic friends right now. 

"Why do we even learn that? I will never need this in my entire life" exclaimed Eleanor. 

"Are you feeling okay? You sound like me, but you're the nerd. You have to love this" gasped Niall horrified. 

"Wow. You are a real friend" snorted Eleanor.

"You have three courses, almost four if you had chosen a sport. That's sick" pointed Niall out. 

"You have two" countered Eleanor. 

"Only Football and Golf. You can't really count Golf as a real course. So I have only one" claimed Niall surely. 

"Are you quiet finished with your marriage banter, guys? Yes, Eleanor has three courses but what's so bad about it? She loves what she is doing and is one of the smartest people I know. There is nothing wrong with that" intervened Louis now, looking up from his book. 

"Thanks Louis, you're a real friend" shot Eleanor Niall an evil gaze. 

"What are you reading there anyway, Tommo?" asked Niall curiously, ignoring Eleanor. 

"A book. You should try it out sometime" deadpanned Louis. Eleanor was losing it in that moment. 

"We should leave or Mrs. Peazer will kick our asses for interrupting the holy silence of the library" said Niall as he stood up from his spot. 

Louis closed his book and dragged a still laughing Eleanor with him out of the library. Mrs. Peazer was their librarian and Louis actually knew her really good. She just smiled at him amsued, seeing Eleanor like that, and Louis smiled back. They went to their lockers to take out their stuff and walked to their next class. PC thingy whatever it was really called. 

Five minutes after the bell Harry came into the room. After a short scolding from the teacher he sat down unimpressed and turned on his PC. Louis hated people like him. Why was he acting like that? Was he really just a total douchebag or was he hiding something and tried to be cool by breaking every rule just because?  Louis probably would never know. 

In this lesson they should do some simple things with the programms on their PC. Louis was done after 15 minutes so he started to doddle into his notebook or more like write some sentences. He still had half an hour left. 

"I thought you were that smart, brainy. Is that little PC too much for you?" mocked Harry him as he walked by. 

"I'm done actually. What about you?" shot Louis back, knowing that Harry didn't do anything yet. 

"What's the problem, boys?" asked Mr. Aoki the both of them. 

"Lewis over here is drawing instead of working. Thought you should know that" answered Harry, purposely pronouncing Louis' name wrong. 

"Actually I'm done already" corrected Louis him smugly. 

"Really? Let me take a look" was Mr. Aoki imressed. He scanned over everything Louis did and then clapped him on the shoulder proudly. "Well, done, my boy. Actually no one was ever ready that fast. Now your classmates have something to live up to". 

"Nerd" muttered Harry annoyed under his breath, but Louis didn't care. He was proud of himself for doing something right once. 

Unlike Harry the rest of the class worked faster after that. They wanted to be good too, well except Harry. That's what Louis meant with not being a typical nerd. Yes, he was smart and good at school but he was annoyed too. He didn't like to study but he did it because he had no life. And the rest of the class didn't bully Louis for being smart. It was only Harry and his sidekicks. 

During Lunch Break Louis sat at a table near the wall with Niall and Eleanor. The food looked really weird but Louis didn't feel the need to eat anyway so it was okay. Niall ate it nonetheless and his food too so this problem was solved. 

"How can you eat that?" grimaced Eleanor. 

"It's food" shrugged Niall with his mouth full. 

"But it's disgusting" scruntched Eleanor her nose. 

"It gets better" was all Niall had to say. 

"Hopeless" sighed Eleanor amused and looked over at Louis, who just grinned at her. 

His gaze drifted away from his friends over to the middle of the cafeteria where Harry was surrounded by tons of girls and boys, guffing at him like he was God. More like their dream hook up but who cares?! It was pretty hard not to look over there even if you didn't want to. It was like an accident. Unavoidable. 

Now came the best part of the school day. Course time. And if you had none that day you were free to do whatever you wanted. Meant homework or just chilling. Today Louis was free so he headed to the library again. Normally Niall would join him but today he had a meeting with the football team so Louis was alone. He greeted Mrs. Peazer and sat down in a far away corner to do his homework already. It wasn't much due to the fact it was the first day. Louis was done after half of the time. The rest of the time he continued reading his book. It was pretty boring but the time passed by like that. 

At 3:15 pm the students were free to go. Louis signed off by Mrs. Peazer and went to his locker to put his last things away. When he was about to leave someone slammed his locker shut and startled him. He turned around pretty fast and looked into the nasty faces of Nick and Aidan and of course Harry. These two bastards were on the football team and pretty much Harry's friends or Hook up's or whatever. It was confusing. But one thing Louis knew. He was in for it now. 

"Long time no see, Lewis" grinned Nick nasty at him. 

"Louis" he corrected him. 

"For that I have to care, but guess what? I not" spat Nick. 

"You were spared two weeks now. You really thought we spare you today?" asked Aidan, Nick's brother, dumbly

"I also thought you could talk normally, but I was wrong. So...." trailed Louis off, smirking. 

"Weren't you smart? Your Sass will be your death someday" threw Harry in. 

"So you really decided to still talk back even though you should shut up?" growled Aidan at him. 

"Well, obvioulsy I'm not as smart as you think I would be" shot Louis back.

 "Spare us your sneaky comments, you freak. Look at you. Wich normal person ties their ribbons on their hoddies into a little bow? That's freaking weird" made Nick fun of him. 

"Nawww, you noticed that? You have to really love me" mocked Louis him. 

"Shut up, you freak. No one could ever love you. You're unloveable, fat ass" insulted Harry him. 

Even if Louis didn't show it on his face like always all those words hurt like knifes in his heart. He felt every sinlge word and the worst part was, they were right and Louis knew it. 

"You may be smart, but your brain can't help you now. So what's the use?". 

That was the last thing he heard before he was pushed back against the locker by Aidan. Nick kicked him into his stomach with his knee a few times until Louis couldn't take it any more and dropped to the ground. They kicked him in the sides and took his backpack. His things were thrown around and the next second his glasses crashed through the floor in front of him, broken. Nick and Aidan laughed their asses off and skipped away when they were done. Harry just stood there the whole time watching it with a satisfied look on his face. When Louis curled himself together on the floor Harry spit on him as he walked away. 

"That's what you deserve, dirty bitch" were Harry's last words. 

Racked with pain Louis lay on the floor of the school hallway and couldn't move. He felt the tears coming but tried to hold them back. He never cried in school. He had to maintain his tough image and couldn't show his weakness. But the truth is: Louis was weak, totally broken and a mess. 

Suddenly he heard footsteps approaching him and he immediately knew who it was so he just stayed there. 

"Oh God Louis" exclaimed Eleanor alarmed and kneeled down next to him. 

"Shit. Tommo, I'm so sorry I wasn't here. Michael and I were locked in the locker room and now I know who did that. I'm going to kill them" explained Niall why he wasn't there. 

"It's okay. Really" croaked Louis out but winced in pain.

"Niall, help him up. I get his things from the floor" told Eleanor him. 

Carefully Niall helped Louis stand up and supported him with his arm. Eleanor picked everything up and stuffed it into his backpack. When she picked up his glasses she let out a sad sigh. 

"Looks like you need new ones" she smiled sadly at him. 

"At home" was the only thing he was able to say. 

Together they stumbled out of the school building. Niall had called Maria  their way out to pick them up against Louis' protest. He could never walk home like this. 

The car pulled up in front of them after a few minutes and they got in. Louis in the front seat and Niall and Eleanor in the back. Maria didn't ask what happened. She already knew. She knew how Louis' school life went down but he stopped her from doing something about it. It wouldn't change anything anyway. 

Back at home they helped Louis inside and upstairs. Maria went back into the kitchen to make some food for all of them, causing Niall to be the happiest person in the world. The three friends sat on Louis' bed and turned on the TV. Some shitty show was on but they watched nevertheless. 

"Someone hungry?" peaked Maria her head into the room. 

Like a hurrican Niall jumped up and took the food out of her hands. She laughed at him but let him do it. Eleanor and Louis just shook their heads and took the rest of the food. They thanked her before she left and then turned back to the TV. 

"Someday I wanna marry her" stated Niall in awe. 

"You do remember that she's gay, do you?" raised Louis an eyebrow at him. 

"Then she needs to adopt me" told Niall them his plan b. 

"Not sure if anyone would do this voluntarily" snickered Eleanor. 

"Die, evil witch" jumped Niall at her, laughingly. 

Normally Louis would join in but he wasn't in the mood. He just watched his friends and smiled at them. He felt like he was no longer living his life, just watching from afar. There was nothing that made im genuinely smile any more.

"We should probably leave. I bet your Mom would kill you if you're too late" said Niall after a while. 

"Unfortunately you're right" admitted Eleanor. 

"Then move your ugly asses out of here. See you tomorrow" joked Louis halfheartedly. 

"Sure you're okay?" checked Niall worriedly. 

"I'm good. Now leave or I'll make you" threatened Louis him jokingly.  

"Gosh, not so aggressive, Tommo" laughed Niall but stood up from the bed. 

"See you tomorrow, Louis" hugged Eleanor him goodbye. 

"And don't do anything stupid" shouted Niall after he left the room. 

"No promises" shouted Louis after him, making it sound like a joke but he was deadly serious. 

He waited until he heard the door shut downstairs before his walls broke down. Some tears rolled down his face and his hands were shaking. Everything that Harry and his friends said today was now breaking down on him. He didn't know how long he could take it before breaking down in school. Never would he break down in front of Harry. That's what he promised himself. Right now he wasn't so sure if he could keep that promise any longer. 

A little bit shaken and still crying he stood up and walked into his bathroom. He stripped down til he was left in his boxers and threw his clothes to the side. He brushed his theeth and washed his face, wiping the tears away. He avoided looking at himself in the mirror and just opened one of the drawers and got something out. 

Slowly Louis brushed his thumb over the familiar silver metal in his hand, making it bleed but he didn't care. He slid the metal skillfully over his wrist, letting it bleed. It stung like crazy and Louis winced in pain but he didn't stop. He cut himself with the razor over and over again until his wrists were covered in blood. Now there would be more scars tomorrow next to the other ones. 

Now Louis looked up at his pathetic face in the mirror and wanted nothing more than to just crash the mirror. He hated what he saw. Louis hated his face, his dull blue eyes, his way too sharp cheekbones, his thin lips nobody would ever want to kiss. His ugly collarbones, his always messy hair. Louis hated his fat tummy and big ass. His ass was way too big. He hated how tiny he was, how weak he was, how small his feet were. He hated himself and that's why he deserved the pain. He needed the pain. He needed to feel something again, even if it was just for a few seconds. 

Shakily he cleaned his wrists a bit and put a band aid on it so Maria wouldn't scream in the morning if he wasn't careful enough. He padded back into his room, turned the light off and climbed under his covers. He stared into the darkness of the room reflecting the darkness inside his heart and turned to the side, closing his eyes and letting out some more tears. 

"Alone again".  

----------------------------A/N------------------------------------------------

I'm really not used to writing short chapters but here it feels right. What do you prefer?

Question of the chapter: Why do you think Louis is doing that to himself?

I tipped out their time table so you can follow it just in case it gets confusing sometimes:

Please vote and comment on the story and tell me what you think. Love you guys <3