"We should get back, Charlie will be wondering where we are."

Blair pulled her hand away from beneath Thomas', quickly rising to her feet after digesting his words that only made her stomach turn.

"Blair, wait."

Thomas jumped up and walked after her, reaching out and grabbing her arm gently but with enough force to stop her, pulling her round to face him and seeing the streaks of sad tears that had fallen down her cheeks.

Blair gazed up at him through glassy eyes, embarrassed that he was seeing her in that state. The moment had got too much for her, from being alone with him to touching hands, pretending like there hasn't been a heartbreak that had driven them apart years ago. Each little thing had added on top of the other, all being manageable until Blair asked the question, the answer sending her over the edge.

Thomas let go, holding his breath as he looked down at her, a foul pain in his chest at the sight of her crying. He'd left the restaurant the night of telling her about the other woman he'd met before she had chance to say anything. It was a foolish escape, a cowardly act as a whole, but his exit took the glory. He couldn't face watching her break down, he didn't want to see her cry over him, he didn't want to break her heart, and so by leaving before she cried, in his mind, she was just fine.

Only now, Thomas was witnessing exactly what he thought he had escaped in the past.

"I'm sorry," Blair sniffled, wiping her eyes with her fingertips, "I don't know what you wanted to happen today, or why you're being so kind to me, I don't understand. Whatever it is, please, just leave me alone, I can't deal with this."

"Blair!"

Thomas said her name firmly, taking hold of her hand again and pulling her back to face him, only closer that time, wrapping his arm around her body and holding her against him, letting go of her hand and raising it gently to touch her cheek, brushing away the tears.

"The minute I walked away from you, I knew it was a mistake. Nobody could ever come close to you, but I couldn't come back, I just couldn't. I didn't think I'd ever see you again and now I have I-"

"You wish you'd never have given up on us in the first place, right?" Blair said in a soft voice, swallowing hard.

"Right."

"But you did," She continued, pushing his hand away from her face, "You left me alone, terrified and broken, scared of the world and of the thought of trusting somebody. Do you know how hard it was to let myself fall in love with Jamie? And now he's gone, too. Everything I love, leaves, Tommy. You don't get to come back into my life and pretend like nothing happened because you realised you made a mistake."

Blair pulled herself out of Tommy's grasp, leaving him stood alone. His lips were parted, though his words were empty. He had come to terms with the fact that he would never see Blair again after leaving her, but that didn't change the fact that he fell asleep every night thinking about her, wondering where she was, if she was laying beside another man the same as he was with another woman.

It was torture to think about her life without him, but Thomas' pride made it impossible for him to admit his mistakes, and once he slid the ring onto Grace's finger and saw his son for the first time, he knew for definite that there was no going back, regardless of his pride.

The first sight of Blair with a wedding ring on her finger made Thomas want to throw up. He had toyed with the thought of her being married many times, though seeing it for himself was sickening. He didn't like the thought of another man looking into her eyes and telling her how much he adored her, how much he wanted to give her everything he could. To Thomas, it felt like any man who came close to her would be doing her an injustice compared to the way he could love her.

He had contemplated not offering Blair the job at first, but Frances had persuaded him that she was the best candidate by far, and his son deserved the best, whether he was in love with an untouchable woman or not.

Thomas avoided Blair initially, part of him resented her for the way she had bonded instantly with Charles. There had been a period after the death of his mother that Charlie shunned away from his father, the both of them feeling distant from one another in a way that a father and son never should. It hurt him to see a relationship blossom so easily between Blair and Charlie, but as he watched them together, he began to realise that perhaps new things could grow out of spoiled roots.

The love he had for Blair never went away, and despite feeling like he shouldn't even stand too close to her in their home, it soon became impossible for Thomas to not stare at her in admiration, smiling as she made his son laugh or tucked him into bed at night. He had loved her throughout everything, and in the back of his mind, Tommy was convinced that she still loved him, too.

"Just tell me, please," Tommy called out, standing with his hands helplessly by his side as he gazed at her, his heart aching at how beautiful she looked being backlit by the sun, like an angel.

"What?" She called back, running a hand through her hair to brush it out of her face.

"Do you feel anything for me? Anything at all?"

Blair felt sick at the way he looked so desperate. She had seen him in many ways, though desperation had never been one of them. Thomas had always been a headstrong, arrogant character with a softer side that she felt lucky only she got to see. She had seen him sad and seen him vulnerable, but the wave of desperation in his eyes and the way his shoulders were pulled inwards and his back curved made it obvious just how much watching Blair cry was hurting him.

There were two answers, one in her head and one in her heart. Blair knew she had never stopped loving Thomas, even when she said her vows to Jamie, there was part of her that wished it could've been a different man waiting for her at the alter that day. It was a sad way to think, but for Blair, it was her life, every day. She missed life with Thomas, every aspect of it, but in the same breath she had accepted that that version of her life, had gone. A step forward was waiting for her, a new life, with a new man. And although she had taken that step, one foot was always trailing behind her, clinging onto her past by a thread.

The anger and upset had seemingly flushed out the alcohol from her body and she suddenly felt far too sober to be having the conversation with Thomas that was lingering in the air.

Up until that moment, she couldn't remember a day she'd experienced happiness like she had then. It was calm, it was safe, it was everything that she had hoped she'd find again by keeping that foot just dragging behind her. But what she didn't count on was being pulled back suddenly by her ankles into a place she wasn't prepared to go to.

"You can't just ask me that, Tommy."

"Why not? Because you can't admit it? Because you're scared to admit that you've loved me the whole time just the same way that I've loved you?"

Blair scoffed, shaking her head as she angrily crossed her arms.

"How can you say that? How could you possibly love me if you married someone else? How could you still love me throughout all of that?"

Tommy licked his lips, his skin growing hot beneath his clothes as he took a few paces closer to her, out from beneath the shade of the tree into the high afternoon sun.

Blair smelled like flowers and champagne, her lipstick had worn off around the rim of the glass but the pale natural pink was still beautiful. The rose blush in her cheeks had washed away from her tears, but the flushed anger had turned them a burnt red, which to Thomas, was far prettier.

He adored her in her natural state and he felt ravenously attracted to her when she showed her emotions, the way she cried and shouted in his face only made his heart swell, albeit in both a bad and good way. It was twisted, but her anger made him know that she cared, whether her words said the same or not.

"Because you've married someone else, too. And I know that when he put that ring on your finger, you weren't thinking of him. I know that because when I did the same to Charlie's mother, I felt sick to my stomach because it wasn't you."

"Then why didn't you come back for me?" Blair said, her voice breaking.

Tommy sighed, "Because even if I did, you wouldn't have taken me back."

Blair knew he was right. There wasn't a single part of her that ever wanted to see Thomas' face again after he walked away from her in that restaurant. A deep rooted hatred grew inside of her towards him, only a thorn of discarded love kept it at bay from taking over her whole heart.

Realising that, as she stood before him on a hot summers day like the ones they used to spend down by the river in the woods, Blair wasn't sure why her mind would've changed.

"Then why do you think I'd take you back now?"

Thomas tilted his head slightly, debating a response in his head. Her hair fluttered in the wind and her shoulders sparkled in the sun, her eyes looking up at him drenched in pain yet tainted with the faintest glow of hope that Thomas felt pierce him like a knife.

"I don't," he replied, "But I couldn't help myself from trying. I know how happy you were today, how much you felt at peace. I felt it too, and I haven't felt that way since I left you. It's fucked up, I know, but I just want a chance to fix what I broke, Blair, please."

He placed an arm around her waist again and that time, Blair didn't resist. Pulling her against him, Thomas didn't hesitate to rest his head against her own, holding her face gently with his lips just centimetres away from hers.

Blair felt her heart stop. She didn't want to be that close to him, she felt furious inside, like a burning fire had claimed her lungs and her bones, though as he looked down at her, it was as if his blue eyes cooled her soul, washing away the hate for just enough time to gain control of her.

And she let him, with ease.

It was a gentle, hesitant kiss that Thomas placed on her lips at first, scared of how she'd respond. Though as soon as he felt her lips kiss him back and her hands wrap around his neck, his body softened, pouring his heart into her through a single kiss.

There wasn't a word Blair could find to describe how she felt as she kissed Thomas Shelby again, but she knew that now she had succumbed to the temptation, pulling herself away from him was going to be far harder than it was before.

Though in that moment, despite the anger and the sadness, the pain in her chest caused by a resurfaced memory of the man she loved leaving her, Blair didn't want to be anywhere else.