The Game Cube
I don't know what happen but... when I woke up and looked around I see that I'm not in...my comfort room. Where am I? Or should I say 'we' since I see Mario and Four with me.
"Hey guys! Wake up!" I shout. I feel my head on top...no damn hat...WHO THE F—K TOOK MY HAT?!
Mario and Four both wake up.
"What the... Mario, Five??"
"DID WE SLEEP TOGETHER!?!" Mario shouts.
"What the f—k no! Depending on what you mean by 'sleep together' it better not be that way."
Four deadpans at Mario accusing. "...Where the hell are we?"
"I don't exactly know..." I said looking around once more.
We somehow ended up inside a giant cube structure. Four is terrified of this.
"It seems to be a giant cube-shaped bathroom!" Mario proceeds to unzip his pants, but gets distracted by Four trying to find a way out of their cube dilemma.
"Don't you f—kin dare take your pants off!"
"Mario... THERE AREN'T ANY DOORS OUT OF HERE!!" Four begins to lose his mind.
"Now now, no need to panic! We'll get outta here in no time." I try to comfort him. It worked a bit.
"What? Nonsense!! I bet you just gotta push a secret panel!!!" Mario begins to feel around the walls for a way out.
"Any second now... Any... second..."
Nothing.
Mario comes back to us. "We're stuck."
"Great..." i cross my arms, annoyed.
Four screams. "Oh no, I'm gonna die trapped in a room with Mario...!" And my crush...wait that's not bad...is it?
Four gets an idea. "Wait a second!"
He pulls out his phone. "I have a phone! I'll call for help!!" His phone's screen glitches to show only a cube.
"What the...?" He presses on his screen so fast, his finger eventually broke through it.
"STUPID PIECE OF CRAP ISN'T WORKING!!" He throws his phone in frustration.
"Calm down! My goodness!"
Mario gets an idea. "Don't worry, SMG4. I've got an idea!" He takes his hat off to pull out a carrier pigeon. "Mario will send a carrier pigeon for help!"
Four is stunned at the fact Mario had a pigeon in his hat. "You... You carry a bird in your hat? What are you?! Copying Five?!"
Mario smiles. "Yeah, just for moments like this! Come on, Frank! Go get help!" He tosses Frank into the air... Who falls to the ground, dead.
"Well that failed." I deadpan at the bird.
"WE'RE DOOMED!!" Four shouts as he pounds the ground.
"WE AREN'T! Jeez! Your acting like the lights are gonna turn off at any second!"
The spaces in the middle lights up, the lights turn off.
"F—k I jinxed it..."
"AHHHHHHH!!!! DARKNESS COMES FOR US!!!"
_______________
Game 1 Of 4
Easy Mode
The lights turn back on. Four is holding on to me for dear life. Mario is off to my left, crying.
"What the hell just happen? Did anyone else heard that voice?"
Four let's go of me and coughs. "Uh yea...Game 1 of 4? What does that mean...?" His cheeks dusted with pink.
Another, smaller cube in spinning in the air before them, showing characters on different sides: Bowser, Toad, Chain Chomp, Piranha Plant, and a blank space.
Four is confused by it. "What the hell is that?"
"OH! MARIO KNOWS!" Mario runs up, hits it, and out pops a Chain Chomp.
"Hi, doggy!" It eats Mario's top half, then vanishes.
"Bad dog!" Mario somehow talks with no head.
"Oohhh! Cool! Just like Mario party!" I run up and hit it. I got.. the piranha plant.
A piranha plant is summon in front of me.
A sweat dropped. "Oh sh¡t..." I get my knife, KBB, out.
The piranha bit me and I slashed it with my knife. I hold my arm.
Fucking...ow... good thing I'm wearing a red hoodie...for some reason...
Still, I put a bright smile on my face. "Ha! Nothing can get me BOIIII!"
Four who watches the whole thing sighs of relief. He didn't see that Five got bit... He hums. "Hmm... Maybe we're meant to get the Toad?" He smacks it, landing on Bowser. "OH, CRAP! WRONG TIMING!"
Bowser pops out.
"B-Bowser? You're not gonna hurt Mario or Five, are you?" Mario begs for his life.
"Yer doin' good, lad!" Bowser thumbs up.
Mario is happy at this... Until Bowser breathes fire at him, turning his head into a turkey.
"OH YOU B—CH!"
"Hmmm. Yummy!" Mario falls over as Bowser vanishes.
"Uhh, sorry. I'll get the Toad this time!"
Mario is eating himself. I slap his hand away from his face. Mario glares at me but then looks over at Four ."No... Let Mario help..."
"Yea let me help too!"
Mario's head returns to normal as Four helps him up. Hoping to get Toad this time, we all rush toward the cube and smack it hard, finally landing on Toad.
"Ayyyyeee! Nice!" Four celebrates.
We high five as Toad pops out.
"Toad, can you please help us get out of here?" Four ask.
The toad looks weird... I don't like it...
Toad begins playing his banjo. "Not bad. But can you survive... The next one...?" He vanishes as the lights go out again.
"STOP TURNING THE LIGHTS OFF A$$ HOLE!!" I shout at nothing.
_____________
Game 2 Of 4
Normal Mode
A large, robotic Bowser head now stands before them, with two levers in the front.
"Holy sh¡t! This game?! Great..."
"OOO LEVERS! MARIO KNOWS HOW TO PUSH THEM!!! Mario runs to press a lever. "STAND BACK SMG4!"
"MARIO NO-"
Four also tries to stop him. "WAIT, NO, MARIO! I THINK ONE OF THE LEVERS IS-"
Before Mario could press, the Bowser head starts talking. "My main goal is to blow up."
At this, Mario retreats to the back corner.
"Pff- lol!"
Mario now has two flags in his hand. Oh has a 4 on it and the other has a 5 on it. "Woo! Go, SMG4! Go, SMG5! You can do it!"
"Sur-" I get cut off by Four.
"No way! You can do this one!"
Mario shakes his head. "No, I can't."
"What?! Why? Gimme one good reason!"
"I can't do it because... I... Uhhh... I... I... Uhh..." As Mario tries to make up an excuse, me, Mario and SMG4 suddenly wind up on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?.
"The hell?" I look around and so does Four, in confusion.
Why Can't Mario Pull The Lever?
A: He's Too Fat
B: He's Too lazy
C: He's A Piece Of Shet
D: He Has Ass Cancer
Four has enough of this. "OK, OK, screw it!" He brings them back to reality. "We'll just flip a coin."
One Coin Flip Later...
The coin has fallen in Four's favor.
"PFFFFF AHAHAHAHHAHA!" I cackle.
"SH!T!"
"YAHOO! Good luck!"
Mario heads back into his corner. Four worriedly and slowly walks towards the lever while Mario watches, equally worried. After trying to decide which to press, he... makes a run for Mario's corner.
"I CAN'T DO IT I CAN'T DO IT I CAN'T DO IT!"
Mario comforts him. "It's OK, SMG4. We can just sit like this forever."
"Baby...." I mutter under my breath. I roll my eyes and head over to the levers. Yea I care about Four but he could've asked me to do this. I guess I have to be the man this time. I use my watch and scan the levers. The left one isn't safe. I push the right one.
Bowser Head starts to talk. "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS!?!?! YOU TWO ARE THE BIGGEST BABIES I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! AT LEAST THIS GUY HAD THE BALLS TO PUSH ONE OF THE LEVERS!! I CAN'T WORK IN CONDITIONS LIKE THIS!!!"
Bowser's Head pulls out a gun, pulls the trigger, then vanishes. We all celebrate.
"F—K YEA! I did it!!!"
CLEARED
Our celebration is short lived as the lights go out yet again.
"F—K!"
____________
Game 3 Of 4
Hard Mode
Shy Guy stands before them holding two flags: one red, the other white.
"Oh hell naw...not this mini game..."
Four looks relived. "Ah, we can't possibly screw up this one."
You jinxed it-
Shy Guy raises the red flag. Me and Four does the same. Mario? He raised his white flag, instead.
Mario is waving to the shy guy. "Hello!!! What's up!"
"WRONG!" The shy guy throws his sword at Mario, which hits him between the eyes.
"OH SH!t!"
Four looks at Mario annoyed. "MARIO!!!"
"MARIO WAS JUST BEING NICE!!!" Mario passes out.
Shy Guy raises the white flag, and so do we.
"Ugh. Looks like it's up to us, then."
"Not so sure about that bud..."
"What do you me-"
Shy Guy tries to trick us into raising the white flag, but raises the red one. Four raises his red flag, too. But I raised the white one too early causing me to get out and have a flagpole in my forehead.
"Ow...." I sit next to the passes out Mario and try to get the flagpole out while Four is battling the shy guy.
As Shy Guy and Four have a showdown over which flag is going to be raised, Mario wakes up and throws the sword back at Shy Guy, hitting him between the eyes. Shy Guy falls over, dead.
Both me and Four look at him surprised.
"He was annoying Mario!"
I grin and do a thumbs up.
We clear the minigame. Mario celebrates, but the lights go out once more.
"This is getting old..." I get the flagpole out of my forehead.
______________
Game 4 Of 4
Nightmare Mode
Now Four is hooked to a crane. Various people and objects are scattered on the floor, Mario and me among them. He is given ten minutes to collect everything.
Four smiles. "OK, I think I understand." He moves to pick up Freddy Fazbear's head.
The Freddy starts to talk. "Vanessa, have you heard of Raid: Shadow Le-"
Freddy is dropped into the pipe. As more characters and objects are dropped in, the pipe fills up.
"Heck yeah! Nightmare Mode my ass!! I'm already finished!"
"Hate to break your celebration but the clock's still ticking." I point out with a nervous smile.
Four looks up to to left where the clock is. "WHAT?! I'm not done!? I thought I got everythi-"
The realization hits him like a truck. By "everything", this includes... Mario, who is happily scratching his nose and me.
"Uh...! Ah...! No, no, no!! NOOO-" Four slowly inches his way over and tries to pick Mario up. But, Mario is too heavy.
"I'll get in my self..." I crawl in the pipe.
Mario who is now in a cheerleading out outfit cheers Four on. "You just gotta BELIEEEEVE, SMG4444!!!"
Sadly, not even going Ultra Super Saiyan is enough. So, Mario decides to simply walk over to the pipe and plop himself in it, thus making us both clear the minigame.
"OH MY GOD!!!! YESSSS!!!!"
"Congrats!" I do a thumbs up. This is where the lights will go out...
Mario dances.
"WE'RE DONE!!! YEAHHHH!!! WE DID IT, BABBYYEEEEE-" He gets cut off by the light going out.
"CALLED IT!"
______________
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The lights come back on.
Four looks around the room worriedly. "Can... Can we leave now???" We hear Mario scream. "What is it, Mario?"
Mario is looking down. In front of him lies an impossible-to-solve Rubik's cube.
"It's some sort of... CHOCOLATE." Mario tries to eat it... And breaks his teeth.
"Idiot, it's a rubik's cube. Not candy." I take it out of Mario's mouth and hand it to Four.
"I think we have to solve it..." Four moves a piece... And the room goes red.
"WHAT THE F—K?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"I DONT KNOW!" Four panics.
Game 5 Of 4
DEATH
20
19
18
Mario is panicking. "SMG4!! HURRY UP AND SOLVE THAT THING!
Four is frantically trying to solve it. "I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING!!"
12
11
"TRY HARDER!!" Mario shouts.
"I'VE NEVER DONE ONE OF THESE BEFORE!! AAAAAAAHHHH!"
8
7
Four accidentally drops the cube. I pick it up. I look back at Four who is now resigning to his fate, he curls up in a corner.
"It's no use! We're doomed!" He starts to cry.
I then try to solve the cube.
5
4
3
Mario runs in circles while Four cries his eyes out. I'm almost down with solving it.
2
1
0
"SOLVED!" I slam the cube on the ground. Surprisingly it didn't break.
A side of the large cube opens... Instead of something monstrous ending us, it's a studio audience and a host coated in shadow. The host reveals himself to be Miyamoto, much to our confusion and shock.
Four, who I didn't realize that was holding on to me for dear life, gets off me. "Miyamoto?! What's going on?!"
"Congratulations, Mario, SMG4 and SMG5!!! You are the first to make it through our new game that we're testing, VR Mario Party, in our latest game room. How was it?"
"Eh...nightma-"
Mario and Four scream.
Mushroom Paper News
The Gamecube 2 beta test SUCCESSFUL!
________________
We get home, tired. When I opened the door I see Three with the kids Mini me, Eggcat, Eggdog and Beeg, playing tea party.
We looked at him surprised and Three looked at us the same.
"Uh... did mini me threaten you?"
"Egh- uh- YEA! Definitely! So uh where did you guys go to? You two look tired."
"I don't know how but apparently Miyamoto got us, and by us I mean me, Four and Mario, in a cube box and forced us to play a few mini games. Gave us heart attacks, near death experiences, etc etc. I'm tired and I want to sleep. Thanks for babysitting Three..." I scratch my head furiously and sighed.
"Mini me..can you pay Three for babysitting ya..I'm tired..and..ya." I go upstairs and change my outfit into pjs. I crash in bed, forgetting to writ stuff down once again. Forget that I have an injured arm.
It bleeds while you sleep...
_____________
Third pov~
Mini V hand Three a check.
"How the hell do you know how to do a check?"
Mini V just shrugs and rolls away.
"So what happened today was real?"
Four nods. "Yep, it was exhausting but thankfully we got out alive."
"Did you see the bruise on him forehead?"
"No? How did you see it? His hair is covering his forehead?"
"Better vision and I saw it when he was scratching his head furiously. Anyways shouldn't he be- like all healed? Because when we get hurt, ya we get bloody or something, but then the next we are okay. Why not him?"
"I don't know... maybe his watch does?"
Three hums.
Silent....
The two SMGs just stare at each other some more before Three uses a portal and leaves, not before flipping Four.
___________
Words: 2508
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