THEY STARED at each other for a long time— not in a romantic way, though. Dahil siya ay nanatiling nakataas ang kilay habang ito naman ay naka-kunot ang noo sa pagtataka. Ilang sandali pa'y una itong nagbawi ng tingin at huminga ng malalim. Tumayo ito at hinubad ang suit bago muling nagsalita.

"How was Maureen's party?"

She gritted her teeth in annoyance. "You should have come so you won't be asking me about it."

Van shook his head and started to loosen his tie. "Why are you being bitchy, Demani?"

She gasped exaggeratedly. "I didn't expect you to ask me that, honey?"

"You know what? Spill it. Just tell me what's making you angry when in fact, I should be the one to feel that way. Ang paalam mo ay sa party ka ni Maureen pupunta. I called Mom and she says you left this afternoon to come home early. Now what? Limang oras kang na-traffic? My office is in the city, too, Demani. And it normally takes me one and a half hours to reach home. So, don't tell me you were caught up in the traffic."

Ikinuyom niya ang mga palad sa inis. "I have been calling you the whole day, sending you messages, and waiting for your response until five in the afternoon!"

"Then, what? Ano'ng ginawa mo nang wala kang matanggap na reply mula sa akin? Nagliwaliw sa kung saan?" Inis na inihagis ni Van ang tie sa ibabaw ng mesa at sa nagpipigil na tinig ay, "Alam mo'ng magiging abala ako buong araw, Demani. I was only able to read your messages when my three big meetings were finished and when I was about to leave the office. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ka umasang darating ako sa party gayong alam mo at sinabi ko na sa'yo kaninang umaga pa lang na hindi posible? I tried calling you but your line was out of reach. I tried calling mom and that's when she told me you left early. I waited and continued to call your phone until I fell asleep, tapos gigisingin mo ako sa pagwawala mo?"

"Pagod na ako sa parati mong pagiging abala, Van! Hindi mo ba napapansing hindi na balanse ang oras mo sa trabaho at personal na buhay? You have a wife, too. We have a family to—"

"To please? You want me to please your family by coming to every party and every Sunday get-together. You want me to waste my time talking with your uncles about sports, gambling, and listen to Sam's cheating? Listen to the oldies' comparison? I was always in the hot seat, Demani, and I didn't like it! But I've put up with it because I love you and they are your family! Sa nakalipas na mga linggo ay tiniis ko iyon at sumabay ako sa agos kahit ang bigat sa loob kong mag-sayang ng oras sa paligid ng mga taong hindi ako komportableng pakisamahan. I hate it when I am obliged to do something that I don't enjoy doing!"

Natigilan siya sa mga narinig. Natigilan siya dahil nasasaktan siya sa mga sinabi nito. She didn't expect him to say such words about her family— about the family's tradition and about Sam's cheating. Hindi siya makapaniwalang alam na iyon ng asawa subalit hindi sinasabi sa kaniya.

"Kailan mo pa nalaman ang tungkol sa pambababae ni Sam?" tanong niya sa kontroladong tinig.

Itinaas ni Van ang mga kamay sa ere sa bagot na paraan. "Many weeks ago. He told me about it like a casual thing."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Para ano, Demani? Para pakealaman sila sa buhay nila? You are involving yourself too much in their lives even if you didn't even need to! You have been stressing about the family's problems even if you shouldn't even have to! You are acting like you carry the entire family's problems on your shoulders! Hindi mo responsibilidad ang lahat, Demani." Napa-iling ito at humugot ng malalim na paghinga. At nang muling magsalita ay mahinahon nang muli ang tinig. "At nang dahil diyan sa ginagawa mo ay sarili mong kalusugan ang napapahamak. The doctor said you need to relax your mind and stay away from things that are causing you stress. Are you even taking the meds he gave you? I can't see any change in you—"

"H'wag mong ibahin ang usapan, Van." Matigas niyang sambit saka sinulyapan ito ng matalim. "You hate my family, at ngayon ka lang nagkalakas ng loob na sabihin sa akin. You hate the family tradition and you hate everyone—"

"I don't hate your family, Demani. I just don't like the way they run their lives and I don't agree with the family's beliefs. That's all, really."

"You don't agree with family's beliefs because you don't understand! Family sticks together, Van, just so you know! At sinusubukan kitang ilapit sa pamilya ko dahil lumaki kang walang pamilya! All I wanted was for you to experience what it is like to be in a family—"

"Which I appreciated but I don't need!" he countered which stunned her. Inis nitong isinuklay ang mga daliri sa buhok. Stressed was all over his face, too. "Demani, ang gusto ko lang ay magkaroon tayo ng oras sa isa't isa at ang intindihin mo rin ang panig ko. I am running a multi-million business and I am not used to wasting my time on gossips and nonsense talks. Imbes na gawin ko iyon kasama ang pamilya mo ay mas maiging magkasarilinan na lang tayo sa araw na bakante ako. That's just what I'm asking you. That's just what I wanted from you."

Sarado ang utak niya sa mga sandaling iyon. Sarado upang intindihin ang mga sinasabi nito.

"Sa maraming beses ay pinagbigyan na kita at ang buong pamilya," patuloy ni Van. "Pero parating malaking issue ang hindi ko pagsipot sa mga selebrasyon ninyo. Hindi pa rin ba nila maintindihan na hindi ako kagaya ng iba? Hindi ako katulad ni Levi na walang pakealam kung hindi napapalakad nang maayos ang negosyo dahil umaasang lagi siyang sasaluhin ng ama niya. Walang tatay na sasalo sa akin kapag bumagsak ako, Demani. I am not like Jimmy who enjoys gambling and spends so much time at the casinos— I don't even know how to play blackjack! And I am definitely not like Sam! Wala akong oras kagaya ng mayroon sila. Hindi ako naka-hilata lang. At nagsisipag ako dahil gusto kong bigyan ng magandang kinabukasan ang magiging pamilya natin. I want our children to have a comfortable life someday. My company is going to be our children's legacy, kaya nagsisikap ako. Why are you asking so much from me? Why is your famiy asking so much from me, Demani?"

Galit niya itong tinalikuran. It's useless. Walang patutunguhan ang usapang iyon. Walang isa sa kanila ang gustong mag-bigay. Mag-sakripisyo. She wanted to pull him into the family but he didn't want to. He wanted to pull her out of the family traditions but she didn't want to.

Ngayon, magtiis silang dalawa.

Sa malalaking mga hakbang ay tinungo niya ang pinto ng home office nito. Subalit bago pa man niya iyon marating ay inabutan na siya ni Van at hinatak sa kaliwang braso. Galit niya itong hinarap at itinulak.

"We are not going to end this argument with you walking out, Demani!" he said in a powerful voice.

"What do you want me to say? Papaano natin tatapusin ang argumento na ito kung ayaw mong makinig at umintindi?"

"Bakit ikaw na lang lagi ang kailangan kong intindihin? Bakit kailangan ang point mo na lang lagi? Bakit hindi naman ako ngayon, Demani?"

"Because your point is nonsense! Alone time, just you and me together? You are the boss of the company and you can give yourself as much time as you want. H'wag mong sabihin sa akin na hindi mo kayang maghanap ng paraang magkasama tayo ng isang beses sa isang linggo—"

"God, here we go again!" Inis na namang isinuklay ni Van ang mga daliri sa buhok. He was frustrated and exhausted— his mind wasn't working well. Pareho nilang alam na hindi nila mare-resolba ang argumentong iyon. "Babalik na naman tayo sa bagay na ito? I can't believe you haven't moved on—"

"Lumalabas kasi na parang pinapipili mo ako kung ang pamilya ko o ikaw!"

"No, I am not making you choose, Demani! It wasn't even what I was trying to point out—"

"You are being selfish!" Muli siyang tumalikod at itinuloy ang paglabas sa home office. She then went to their room and locked herself there.

Dumiretso siya sa banyo at umiyak nang umiyak doon. HIndi siya tumigil hanggang sa hindi naubos ang kaniyang mga luha at hanggang sa hindi nanakit ang kaniyang ulo.

Makalipas ang ilang sandali ay naghilamos siya at nagbihis ng pantulog. Paglabas niya ng banyo ay nilingon niya ang pinto. Ni-lock niya iyon, at kung gugustuhin ni Van na pumasok ay may susi ito. Nasa kay Van na kung matutulog sa silid nila sa gabing iyon, o umiwas muna at magpalamig sa ibang silid.

Ilang sandali pa'y ibinagsak na niya ang sarili sa kama, pinatay ang lamp at nagtalukbong ng kumot.

Iyon ang unang beses na nag-away sila nang ganoon ka-tindi, at unang beses na matutulog sila sa separadong kwarto.

Pero sa mga sandaling iyon, dahil sa sama ng loob niya rito, ay wala siyang pakealam.

But deep inside her, she hoped that tomorrow, she and her Van would reconcile and work things out...