The mindset of an anorexic person is like straight up madness. You only have thoughts about your hunger, about food you crave but cannot have or you do not deserve and negative voices talking about your body, your worth and the way you still somehow would like to get better makes you feel really confused and ashamed. You also feel ashamed thinking about eating, you have guilt every time you HAVE to. In the beginning it was not so bad, you had a life. Well, if you fall deep enough into this kind of stupidness, you alredy lost that life and you know what I mean. You don't want to hangout with your friends anymore, do your hobbies anymore, spend time with your family. All of the joy you had previously you had to let go because they did not serve the great purpose. The only thing that matters. To get thinner and thinner, more fragile and feel even worse. To look sicker everytime you look in the mirror. To finally get sick enpough to recover from your Ana. That is such a bullshit, there is no such thing as being sick enough it will continues until ypu die if you keep giving in. A lot of people think we do not see how bad we treat our body. Usually that is not true, we see how much we hurt ourselves, how much we hurt the people around us. Not the willpower but the mindset is what keeps us going. Our true selves would leave it all behind and try to undo the damage we have caused. But Ana is so much in control now that we could not say no to anything it commands anymore. Even if we see the end, we know we will die, we feel the unstoppable pain, the thoughts are even worse. Because even if you do anything, you still have not done enough. If you suffered a lot you have to suffer even more. You still not worthy of life, love or appreciaton.
Ana is constantly lying and says ridicilous things that you really need to ignore. Please, try to not listen to that voice. It is like the most important thing in recovery. To know that you are more than your body. To know that you deserve everything that everybody else deserves. You are worthy of respect, of love, and of course of life. You have to be strong to get out of this, not gonna lie. But believe me, you are stronger than you think.

Stay positive and always choose life over Ana, because your life worths living, not wasting it...❤️