***SEBASTIAN POV***

"I thought you wanted to practice today?" I crossed my ankles as I laid back against Sam's pillow, watching the blond swivel side to side on his office chair.
"That was the plan, but I'm beat from work. I had to do opening shift and that Morris is a slavedriver..." He sighed, tinkering around on his handheld video game. "Why? You got something else to do?"

Shaking my head, I yawned loudly. I had finished my work for the day, so I didn't have anything better to do.
"Hey, tell me something..." I started, trying to tune out the blips and beeps of his console.
"Protitutes in Pompeii used to use stone dildos as practice."

Slowly turning, I blinked once. It was times like this that I would have preferred to be caught in latex instead of birthed.
"I...Okay, let me finish before you throw anything like that at me again..." I coughed, settling myself back down in his bed. "I was gonna ask about you and farm girl. You two seem awfully close..."

I swear I saw Sam hesitate for a moment, but he quickly shot me a smile, scooting a little closer to the edge of the bed.
"Well, yeah! We're bbcbftipo!" Again, I just stared at him in agitated confusion until he explained it to me. "Best band camp buddies forever times infinity plus one!"

I need a shot...Sniper or rum...maybe both...

"No, it looks like more than tha-" When the door slammed open, I very nearly soaked the mattress, and Sam's videogame went flying across the room.

"GUYS, HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT!" (Y/N) basically kicked the door down, voice fifty decibels louder than should have legally been acceptable. "I GOT A CHICKEN! LOOK AT MY CHICKEN!"

Before either of us had any time to register what on earth was going on, a scraggly brown mass was forced into our faces. Again, I nearly moistened Sam's mattress when a cock-eyed avaian face blinked back at me from far too close.
"Dear Yoba, get that thing out of my face!"

(Y/N) momentarily huffed, but her excitement quickly consumed her again, and she turned to smoosh the chicken into Sam's face instead.
"Isn't she just the most precious, darling little angel you've ever seen in your life?!" She squealed in delight, and I took a moment to study the bird.

Not only was it cock-eyed, but it's head looked like it had bloated after being left in the rain for a month straight. Missing feathers, outturned ankles, and he was pretty sure it had ingested the contents of an exotic druglord's basement.
"Are...you blind..?" I wasn't sure why I regretted my blunt choice of words when offence flashed across her face, but I was sticking with it.

"Don't listen to the mean little man, Hennifer Lopez! He's just jealous!" She squished the hen against her chest, rocking it like a human child.
"I..I'm jealous!" Whined Sam, scooting closer to her and trapping her between his ankles. "Where are my snuggly hugs?"

Gag.

Stepping out from his unconventional hold, (Y/N) sat the chicken down upon his lap and plopped down just shy of my knee.
"She was just sitting all alone at Marnie's, and she just gave her to me! For free! She's gonna make me a lot of money!" She explained giddily, and I edged away from her.

"I'd say yes, if she looked edible..." I stifled a yelp when she lightly slapped my leg, a little too close to my crotch for my liking.
"How dare you?! She's gonna lay the best damn eggs you've ever seen, Sebby! Just you wait!" Instantly switching back to her happy self, she flopped back, right by my side, and I flinched. "So, what are you two lovebirds up to, all alone in this cosy little nook, hmm? Did I interrupt?"

I hated that my face began to heat up, but I let Sam handle the response, knowing I'd be subjected to further teasing if I got defensive.
"Just chilling. We were gonna practice, but I've been sweeping all day." He replied, petting the zooted chicken as though it didn't look like it carried every known strand of the plague, and then some.

"Oh yeah! You play keyboard, don't you, Sebz?" When she turned to me, I shifted into the wall as possible. She was way too close, and my body was feeling hot and bothered. Totally not in the hormonal sense.
"Uh...yeah..." That was all I had. I didn't exactly want to be focused on. Ever.

"(Y/N) here plays a mean bass." Sam stated distractedly, poking at Hennifer's bald patches. Nodding along, the girl stretched her arms up, and I glanced away quickly when her midriff showed.
"Well, I dabble." She faced me again with a closed-eyed smile. "I main the violin, but I can do some other stuff."

Why the hell does she have to be so close?

I didn't do well when people were in my bubble. (Y/N) being there was no different, or maybe even worse. Her personality was blinding.
"Yeah...nice." I awkwardly shifted down to the end of the bed, wanting to get away. She noticed, but didn't react.

"Gonna join the egg day hunt?" Sam was getting far too cosy with the chicken, directing his question to both of us.
"No. You know I hate eggs." I replied quickly, hugging my knees to my chest.
"I probably won't be able to make it." (Y/N) sighed, sounding a little bummed out. "It's a harvest day, so no fun for this working class gal."

Sam began to pout, but the childish response didn't last long. With a frantic scoot, he zoomed his chair right up to the bedside, eyes bright with what I just knew would be a horrible idea.
"What if Sebastian and I came around super early to help?! Then we could all go!"

Oh, Yoba, I beg of thee, let the world crack open and swallow me whole...

(Y/N) perked up a little, but I caught the quick glance she gave to my direction, obviously noting the utter distaste on my face.
"I...appreciate it, but you don't have to, really. It's hard, sweaty work, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I can cope."

Well, now I felt bad. It really was hard work, especially for one person. Sam pouted again, allowing the girl to retrieve her abominable chicken from his lap.
"Aw, come on, we'd get it done in a third of the time! Sebastian and I don't mind, do we, man?"

He gave me such a pathetically desperate look, how was I supposed to refuse? I would've seemed like a colossal jackass if I'd said no after that.
"Yeah, whatever...Sure." Not the most enthusiastic response in the world, but it was all I could muster.

The (H/C) girl smiled again, tucking the hen-like creature under her arm as she stood up.
"If you're both sure...then thanks! It would be helpful, and we can all go to the egg thing after. You guys are the best! Oh, and I promise, I'll make it worth your while!"

She was kind of cute when she was happy, in a totally annoying, puppy-like way. The two of them were truly carbon copies, personality-wise at least. Exhausting, but good people to the core.

"That's settled then! What time do you want us over?" Sam swivelled to watch her as she started towards the door, slightly obstructing my view.
"Let's say five? That should give us enough time. Thanks again, boys! You're my heroes!"

As she took her leave, I groaned as I flopped back down onto the bed, dreading the thought of such an early, grouling day.
"Next time, don't rope me into your knight in shining armour act. I'm going to die. You've killed me. Are you happy with yourself?"

Sam just chucked, kicking his feet up over my outstretched legs.
"One day isn't gonna kill ya, and besides, it's what friends do." That brought me back to the topic that had been at hand before (Y/N) had unceremoniously barged her way in.

"You're way too close to be just friends." I stated bluntly, feeling the blond's legs tense ever so slightly.
"Just because you're allergic to all forms of affection doesn't mean everyone is, my dude. As I said, we're bbcbftipo's. It's just how we show it."

I wasn't even a little convinced by his response. I'd seen how close friends acted, and they were beyond that.
"I think you're ly-"
"Oh, crap! We were supposed to meet Abby like ten minutes ago at the Stardrop! Up up up! Move your ass or she'll rip us new ones!"

If he hadn't been absolutely correct, I would have been even more sure that Sam was just trying to change the subject, so I decided to let it slide. Time would tell, and I knew it wouldn't take long to figure it out.

"You owe me for signing me up for intense physical labour." I muttered, begrudgingly letting him shove me out of his bedroom door and down the hall.
"Yeah yeah, I'll shout you pizza and drinks when we get there, 'kay?"

"That's a start..."

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***I started playing Stardew again so...I dunno how long this'll last. Romancing Alex this time, since I always used to end up going for Sebastian, Sam or Shane.

I honestly just wrote this for fun, despite having a plot in mind, but just a warning I have no clue if I'll upload often, since my main focus is my One Piece stories. (Even though I've been on hiatus due to health and stress for a while).

Next Time: Entirely Too Many Beans***