hi all! how have you been?

i've finished judging for round 1, which focuses on the first impression as mentioned in the criteria. you'll find your score and a short first impression review below to justify why and how your book is eliminated. you passed if you got a ✅️

THE BOOKS ARE NOT ORDERED IN ANY WAY.

this is lengthy, so skip to the part about your book if you want.

don't forget to read the summary and the note at the end!

DISCLAIMER: no way i'm trying to be rude or belittle any work. i'm simply giving my personal opinion besides pointing out some glaring mistakes that everyone can agree on (like grammar). in no way is this meant to disparge the quality of your work. i hope this will be rather helpful than frustrating.

you're not forced to listen to me as well! do what works for you.

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Damsel In Business by BluNoor ✅️

cover (7/10): the background photo is great. however, sadly, the font makes the text a little unclear. everything else besides the title is barely visible.

title (9/10): this title wins! unique, sets the vibe, and matches the blurb. one thing: don't capitalise 'in' as it's not needed in titles. a minor word.

blurb (12/15): ah, love the tone. mysterious, hooking, with a little background on why everything is happening. i have two suggestions:

1) fix the paragraphing and slight grammatical errors. only cut the paragraph if you're changing the topic or for dramatic pause. or, of course, if it's getting too long.

2) the conversation at the bottom, although great, is lengthy. i'm not sure most readers will go through it all.

hook (15/15): i've never read a mafia book because i wasn't into them, so i'm not sure how original the ideas are, hence the way i'm hooked could simply be because i'm new. nonetheless, i look forward to reading your work. besides, love me some mature content, and it looks like you'll provide.

final score (43/50)

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Her Purpose by sulkytae ✅️

cover (10/10): somehow, i prefer this cover over having face claims or background photos. especially if you're not a designer, don't take the risk of editing a photo into a cover. the sentence above the title shines a whole new meaning to 'her purpose'.

title (7/10): nth special about the title, until i read the sentence above it in the cover. maybe if you add a suitable adjective to purpose, it'll be more intriguing.

blurb (15/15): oh, cool. but sad :(
i'm not into sad stories, unfortunately. that aside, the blurb is clear, clean, and has the right amount of intrigue.

hook (10/15): i'm definitely hooked by the clean first impression and the tease in the blurb, although i dislike sad stories! i really want to know what she wants to do before she dies, and i hope she doesn't actually die. didn't need to read the first chapter to feel hooked, which is great!

final score (42/50)

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Sperm: on demand by ihskasii_u ✅️

cover (9/10): instantly gives off a taehyung ff vibe. has all the necessary elements (title, username, and maybe a brief description). no complain. just a little overwhelming having tae's face this big, lol.

title (7/10): unique, but not sure in a good or bad way. you're directly targeting the audience who likes a specific theme (single mum, surrogacy, sperm donations, etc.). a double-edged sword as it might not give a reader who's not into those themes a chance to read your book.

blurb (6/15): it's a little messy. i suggest you write down your ideas and order them, then write the blurb. you're telling everything at once in the same sentence. then you hop into another idea that i'm not sure how it relates to the previous ones. that besides the slight grammatical errors.

hook (10/15): the idea of sperm donation itself is a hook as it's not an ordinary thing. however, like i said, exposing it immediately rather than throwing subtle hints could put off potential readers, who are not into this theme.

final score (32/50)

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Hard To Love by Tricky_minds ✅️

cover (8/10): the cover tells the story's theme right away. it has all the necessary elements i look for (title, username, and maybe a brief description). however, the sentence at the very top is unclear. i couldn't read it. i also think you can play with the photo resolution or lighting for it to appear better? i'm no designer, but i comment on what i notice only.

title (5/10): not special in any way. when i looked up this title on wattpad, i found a handful of stories sharing it. you should also de-capitalise 'to' as articles aren't capitalised in titles.

blurb (10/15): nicely enough, the blurb has no glaring grammatical errors, which is a big turnoff for me and the first indicator of the story's quality. however, it gives the vibe of a regular romance story. i suggest you add to the blurb why your story is different and not like every other romance book with bdsm.

extra note: the first two lines of the blurb appear under the title before clicking the story. so, instead of the story status and trigger warnings occupying that important space, i suggest you use it to your advantage with a catchy first line.

hook (9/15): i had to read the prologue as the blurb did not give a hook.

the prologue was as i expected. the end of the beginning. my comment about originality remains as there are many similar themes on the site, but that doesn't mean it's bad in any way. i enjoyed it still, especially as someone who went through similar feelings at once. i strongly relate to the female lead.

for the things that can put off the reader, here are two that bugged me personally:

1) the shortness of your paragraphs. this cuts the flow of reading for me. if you're not changing the scene or ideas in the paragraph, or don't need a dramatic pause, there's no need to cut your writing into short sentences.

2) punctuation errors in compound sentences: you can look this up for more details, but you were missing a lot of commas that created lengthy sentences without a pause, which made me need to read the sentence twice to get what you mean.

final score (32/50)

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Unrequited Beginnings by Lanadelreygirlie ✅️

cover (9/10): cute cover, definitely. has all the elements, and the background photo matches the theme you're trying to deliver.

title (8/10): unique as in no other story has it. however, nth special about the meaning. unrequited beginnings are very common in relationships, so what new thing are you trying to say? i don't mean it's bad, just a thought.

blurb (5/15): you've written the blurb as if you're not the actual writer of the story, rather a reader reviewing it. besides the distracting fact that it's all a one paragraph, the ideas are all over the place. it's clear from the repetition of ideas in different sentences. you also gave away everything, not hinting at a twist or climax. if you already told me what's going to happen, telling right away that it's going to be an ordinary story about an ordinary girl in an ordinary setting, why should i read it?

hook (10/15): unfortunately, the hook was ruined by telling away too much in the blurb, so i decided to read the prologue.

the attempt to present high-quality work is clear. i'm never against writing about usual tropes, but in our own way with a personal touch. i enjoyed the quality of your writing.

final score (32/50)

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Unfolding Affection by citnamoR_sselepoH ✅️

cover (7/10): it's a cute cover, and it has all the elements, but it's missing an artistic touch. no worries, tho, we're just not designers, lol.

title (9/10): the title is unique as no other story appeared on my search with the same title. it does give off the vibe of a cute romantic story.

blurb (5/15): i'm not a big fan of beginning with dialogues as they have no context, and you have grammatical errors writing them. i suggest you look up the grammar and punctuation of writing dialogue.

next, you talk about the story in third pov, like you're a reader asked to give a brief review of the story. this does not give enough insight on what you hide to excite the reader, nor does it intrigue me to read on. i'm not saying your approach is wrong, but i'm letting you know what effect it had on me as a potential reader.

hook (11/15): unfortunately, your blurb killed the chance for a hook. when you wrote "with each chapter...etc.", it's like you're already spoiling what's going to happen and saying there isn't going to be big twists-- this is what you'll get, reader. an already happy couple. this actually defies the exciting title as it says 'unfolding', but i felt it's already unfolded.

i decided to give it a chance and read the first chapter.

i must applaud you for the clear attempt to put out high-quality writing. clean and clear. the characters are cute! the events are realistic.

that being said, your blurb oppresses your writing :( hope you can enhance it soon by hinting at the climax and showing your writing's quality!

final score (32/50)

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Dude, I Kissed Your Mom! by quyvozi ✅️

cover (1/10): sorry, just not it. words slapped on a random photo with some filter 😅 besides, the things written are not clear. couldn't read.

title (9/10): humorful, ha. i like it despite that it's lengthy. unique, too.

blurb (8/15): many grammatical mistakes that put me off. although you have a nice idea that sounds fun, the beginning of the blurb seems messy. i think you can easily make it look better if you organise your ideas.

the second section with dialogue looks like a lazy attempt to make a blurb without actually writing it, so you just brought an excerpt. it has many grammatical errors, too.

hook (15/15): honestly, i'm hooked because i feel the story will be a fun read! i read the prologue to confirm my decision and liked it.

final score (33/50)

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Beyond The Fallen by Badguytd ✅️

cover (5/10): the title on the cover doesn't match. it's missing your username, too. otherwise, not bad.

title (9/10): there's no other story with the same title, great. the cover and title together deliver a fantasy theme. just don't capitalise 'the'.

blurb (11/15): there's a mystery element there. the first sentence is a bit lengthy, especially with the sophisticated adjectives, so try cutting it into smaller sentences for easier understanding. otherwise, the blurb does its job.

hook (9/15): unfortunately, i'm not a fantasy lover (i mentioned that when i explained how the awards will go), but i'll try to be subjective. there's definitely an excitement element surrounding what happened with the lead character and his relationship with his sister. the rhetoric question at the end is great, too, especially after knowing he has a new role. so, great job.

again, as you use sophisticated adjectives, i think it'd be easier to understand for the reader not to jumble them in lengthy sentences. use one at a time.

final score (34/50)

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Surreal Soulmate by dwarkaratna ✅️

cover (5/10): a bit messy. background colour, background transparent photo, another photo behind the title, hearts and lights, a big highlighted title, all in the same space...

title (5/10): cliché.

blurb (11/15): why are you captioning yourself at the beginning with the quote? you don't need to do that. you're the writer of the whole book, so there's no need to caption yourself as an outsider. also, i'm not sure i understood the depth of what you meant.

moving on, the blurb is actually great besides some punctuation errors that are easy to fix.

at the end, you're telling some things straightforwardly, which you don't need to do. let the story show all of that.

hook (12/15): i'm hooked to know what happened with the main lead, thanks to your efficient blurb.

final score (33/50)

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Worrying Winters by kxiii13

cover (5/10): minimum-effort cover. a png on a background, but at least it matches winter. anyway, it has all the necessary elements, but it's not eye-catching.

title (9/10): hints of a depressing story, unique nonetheless.

blurb (10/15): lengthy. tells way too much. from reading it, the story doesn't sound romantic. it's not about a couple, rather, three siblings navigating through their parents' divorce. i suggest slimming it down to what's important and leaving the rest for the story to show.

hook (5/15): unfortunately, i am not hooked as the blurb told too much, so i didn't know what i'd be reading for anymore.

final score (31/50)

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The Bad Girl's Takeover by Shittyprincess3

cover (1/10): i'm very disappointed that you used a random picture (although the picture itself is expressive) as the cover, not caring about the glaring watermarks. no title or username. also, is it just me, or the girl's elbow looks suspicious at the first glance?

title (10/10): exciting, hah. hints of some upcoming adventure of a girl who's had enough.

blurb (10/15): why is it put between quotation marks?

you've written the blurb as if you're not the actual writer of the story, rather a reader reviewing it. besides the distracting fact that it's all in one paragraph, it's good. it does intrigue me. but maybe after cutting it into multiple paragraphs, you can tease about the climax a little more.

hook (5/15): the title and blurb together intrigue me to know what the girl will do. however, i felt i needed to read some of the first chapter.

1) right off the bat, she begins complementing herself. i'm not a fan. the mc's tone is a bit too... forceful? like she keeps giving us reasons to like her, not leaving a space for criticism. it's a little unrealistic.

2) the chapter is simply a girl going on about her day. nth too hooking. i expected an introduction of something abnormal that happened to her in the past, which will drive her to take over. this would be a good hook.

jake drags her, and she's all into it. but i wasn't sure where the plot was going with no hook. i understand you're trying to make her sexy, but i took her as rather forceful. then she came off as rude with the 'nerd'. hope she gets some character development.

3) grammatical errors near the end.

4) the chapter ends without a special hook.

final score (26/50)

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Ve ishqa by by meerawrites

cover (5/10): the title placement is a little off at the top. try pulling it down a little? also, it's missing your username. anyway, great choice of background photo.

title (6/10): i'm not sure it's a great idea to use a non-english title if you're targeting english readers. the meaning of the title is not something special, but honestly, having it in another language does make it special. not sure everyone thinks like me, tho.

blurb (10/15): it's a nice poet-like blurb. i loved the last sentence. however, it's missing the hook. in other words, what makes this love story special? you also need to let the full-stop at the end to stick to the last word. no space needed.

hook (3/15): i had to read the first chapter/prologue to figure this out. i have many questions.

first, please think about the realism factor. irl, does it really happen that a girl stares into a guy's eyes so much until she can't reply to him? unrealistic.

why'd she go with him, let him escort her, when she already has a driver? did i misunderstand this part? it's missing details there as to why and how this happened.

second, please proofread your writing. i guarantee this will take your writing to another level simply by fixing grammatical errors.

third, why write the dialogue in non-english, only to translate afterwards? just use english or mark the story in another language.

final score (24/50)

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The Kaloptic Affection by Siriusnotserious

cover (9/10): i like it! altho the sentence under the title is not readable, so it creates some frustration. omit it, or find a way to make it readable :)

title (8/10): i didn't know what kaloptic meant. after translating it, it goes like "delusional affection". altho the meaning is not special, using a foreign word adds intrigue to the title.

blurb (5/15): i'm not a fan of excerpts/quotes as blurbs, simply because they have no context and introduce nothing. the blurb needs to introduce the main characters, their roles and struggles, and finally, tease to the climax with a hook. your blurb had none of that. besides, it's loaded with grammatical errors

i noticed the attempt at the end to write something romantic, but the errors made it a little hard to understand. it was one big run-on sentence. i had to read it twice to understand what you meant and stay on track.

lastly, you're telling rather than showing with the sentence before the last. give your story the chance to show us this struggle and identify it rather than summarising it all in one sentence in a blurb.

hook (0/15): sadly, i'm not hooked to read the story as i sense no intrigue from the blurb. having a couple in a romance story is not enough to attract a reader.

final score (22/50)

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In Love with Temper Boy by officialpearlkiss

cover (7/10): it's alright, has all the necessary elements, but sth about the title placement and font makes it look like a magazine? just a thought.

title (7/10): cliché, but i got yet to know how it matches the story.

blurb (3/15): unfortunately, the blurb is loaded with errors that make it hard to digest, be it grammar or punctuation. after checking those, the content itself isn't informative enough for what i'm about to read. i care most to be teased about a plot twist or climax. you provide none, just a straightforward, exaggerated description of each character in a way that's not so realistic.

besides, i found it unusual to use 'hairy' as a name.

hook (0/15): sadly, i'm not hooked to read the story for the lack of tease in the blurb and the abundant errors.

final score (17/50)

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How Hearts Mend @Amashavi ✅️

cover (8/10): lovely cover! i love how the city shows behind the couple's outline. just three notes:

the font makes me think bad things will happen. i don't know how to explain it, but it's sharp. just a note. doesn't mean anything is wrong with it. if the story ends happily, consider making it more cursive?

the pallette is sunset-themed. again, does that hint to anything? does the sunset play a significant role in the story? if not, maybe making it a little more colourful will add a nice touch?

there is pasta and tomato at the bottom. does that mean anything special, or just a part of the photo? i understand it's portraying italy, but having tomatoes at the bottom is a little questionable to its role.

title (10/10): unique and intriguing. no other wattpad story has it. it truly makes me want to know how.

blurb (10/15): it introduces the main characters and the exposition of the storyline, but that's all. i think it's a little too short. try hinting more to the climax and adding a hook. that would catch readers and make them want to read the story more.

additionally, try not to make very short paragraphs. it looks nicer to have medium length paragraphs with each one talking about thing, then you start a new one when the topic changes. maybe a paragraph introducing the female lead and her struggle, then one for the male, and lastly, one with a hook.

it's free of glaring grammatical errors though, and that's nice.

hook (7/15): like i said, the blurb barely has a hook. try showing us how unique her journey will be, and what makes it different from others. what twists may happen on the way? tease us!

but i still want to read the story because it has a cosy aura, and i feel i'd relate to her on the healing journey a lot.

final score (35/50)

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summary

1) use a grammar checker, such as grammarly. smooth and easy to use, and saves our stories from getting nitpicked by grammar nazis.

2) even if you're not a graphic designer, using canva with a suitable background photo already gets you more than halfway there. don't forget to mention your username on the cover.

3) if the blurb doesn't tease the reader to read and find out about sth, high chance said reader will click back. excerpts are barely a blurb. they're just excerpts.

4) a romantic couple isn't enough for a catchy plot.

5) look up your potential title on wattpad. if already many stories have it, then it's not the one.

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i must admit, this was fun to do! trying new genres and observing new styles. i tried to make the short reviews as helpful as possible, and, as i mentioned before, there is still a chance to get a full, detailed review like the ones in my reviews book (if you want) as you progress through more rounds.

on a side note, those who didn't pass, i hope no one has any negative feelings towards me for not getting a higher score. i hope you can at least benefit from my notes. if you want to request a review in my reviews book for more in-depth insight, comment here so i can direct you to the form to submit. i'll see what i can arrange for you, but nth is guaranteed.

please tell me your feedback about how this is going so far. enjoyable? beneficial? tbh, i expected more entries, but somehow, this failed to reach writers as much as i expected.

also, tell me more about yourselves! i know your books now, but i want to know you too.

vote and comment to increase reach, please ❤️

until the next round 😉✨️