"Merry Christmas!" Lizzie and Stella's squeals of excitement filled the house, snapping Ellie from the same nightmare she had every night. She groaned in exhaustion even though no one else was in the room to hear; her roommates were the ones causing the commotion.

Another pass of the girls outside the door told her it was time to get out of bed. She slipped on a fresh flannel and brushed her teeth in the bathroom. When she reached for a towel to wash her face, she caught a glance at herself in the mirror. Anna's dull, green eyes held her gaze captive.

His words swirled in her mind, and she fought back against them.

You're pathetic. It's not my fault.

No one loves you. They want to help me.

You're selfish. I can be loved.

The rapid thumping of Lizzie and Stella's feet pounding down the hallway, equivalent to that of Ellie's heart rate, broke the trance she'd locked herself into. Tugging her sleeves over the scars around her wrists, she attempted to leave behind the girl in the mirror.

In the living room, the tree was lit, and boxes upon boxes of wrapped presents surrounded the fireplace. The girls browsed and giggled through the selection to see which ones were for them, as if the unicorn-themed wrapping paper wasn't a dead giveaway.

"Merry Christmas, Ellie," Robin greeted solemnly, wrapped up in a blanket and cradling a mug of steaming coffee. The pillow against the couch's armrest made Ellie wonder if she had slept there overnight.

Ellie sat on the opposite end of the sofa and watched the girls continue their present investigation. The smell of baking cinnamon rolls wafted from the kitchen and filled the room with warmth.

By the time the rest of the family filtered in, Lizzie and Stella could barely contain their excitement. Lizzie smiled and giggled as if the Christmas Market two days prior was a thing of the distant past.

When it came time to open presents, the girls squealed in excitement and dove in, taking it upon themselves to hand out gifts one by one.

When it came around to Ellie's turn, she blushed with all eyes on her.

"Open one," Joe gently urged.

She picked a small one with her name written in black marker. She peeled off the wrapping paper, careful only to break the tape that held down the folded ends. As she gently unfolded the meticulously dissected paper, there was a little wooden name plate with her name and snow-capped mountains. Contrary to when she first saw it, two holes had been drilled into the top, connected by a thin rope of twine.

Staring at what was now an ornament, Ellie did something she did not expect: she laughed.

"Thank you," she breathed through a smile. She glanced at Joe and Tessa, who were practically beaming with pride. They encouraged her to open more, to which she obliged.

After every present had been thoroughly inspected, the house was left ravaged by a tornado of wrapping paper. The family dispersed to recover from the early morning chaos.

"Ellie, can you come here real quick," Tessa asked. Ellie slowly stood, taking care not to step on anything, and followed Tessa to the room across the hall from hers.

"Have a seat," Joe said, patting the edge of the mattress. She cautiously sat next to him and Tessa sandwiched her in. "There's something else, but we didn't want to do it in front of everyone."

Joe held out two final gifts. One wrapped in paper identical to what was under the tree, the other covered haphazardly in flimsy brown paper. She looked at him, baffled, but proceeded to gently peel off the paper of the first one.

Inside were two picture frames stacked on top of each other. The first frame displayed a photo they had taken months ago on the day she first came home.

Ellie's heart sank.

The same small, broken girl she dreaded seeing in the mirror sat in an armchair with Eleanor kneeling at her side. It was the only one they'd taken together.

Ellie's long hair looked wild and unkempt. Yellowish bruises still marked her pale skin and her scars had not fully healed yet. She'd forced a smile for the camera, and even her grin looked painful. The girl in the photo was everything she dreaded, next to the mother who valued pills over her own daughter.

The second frame held a photo they'd taken just a few days ago at the house in front of the tree. But the girl in the house was not the same as the girl in the chair. Her frame and face were fuller. Her smile was bigger. If she had not known any better, she would say she looked... happy.

Ellie's eyes welled with tears as she stared at the girl in the house. She barely resembled the girl in the mirror from earlier that morning.

She was not Anna anymore.

"Is that okay?" Tessa asked as Ellie's eyes turned glassy. Ellie nodded and the smallest of grins tugged at her lips.

"It's perfect," she whispered. Her thumb rubbed the smooth wooden frame, then she turned to the second present.

The paper tore with ease as she slowly slid her finger down the edge of the paper. Inside was another picture frame, identical to the first two. But the third and final frame caught her by surprise.

The third frame showed an older photo. Grainy, a little discolored. A child's wide smile and bright green eyes showed unbridled joy as her arms clung around the neck of a woman with the same smile and eyes. They were both young, carefree, innocent. Neither of them knew the type of fate that waited for them.

Two namesakes. Eleanor and Ellie. The people they were before the basement.

Breathless, Ellie parted her lips as she processed the old photograph in her hands.

"How did you get this?"

"It's not from us," Tessa said.

Ellie struggled to find words as she looked at Joe and Tessa. Her chin trembled.

Before she could make a sound, Joe and Tessa wrapped their arms around her. She sank into their embrace and held tight to the frames. Her shoulders shook. Silent tears fell down her cheeks as she mumbled a "thank you" through the tangle of arms around her.

"We love you, El," Joe said with a sniffle as he pulled away.

"You're an incredible young woman," Tessa added, wiping one last tear from Ellie's cheek. "I hope you know how much you mean to us, and to your mom."

"I love you guys, too." Ellie smiled the same big smile as the girl in front of the tree.

— — —

After the excitement of Christmas morning finally wore off, Ellie and Joe scrutinized how best to assemble a five-hundred-piece puzzle. The kids had crashed after their gift high, so the house finally had a chance for peace and quiet.

If it weren't for the early evening's blanket of clouds, the sun would be setting in a glorious orange gradient. Instead, a pale gray sky settled over the mountain that surrounded the town.

"What was it like?" Ellie asked as she searched for the matching edge to the piece in her hand. "Growing up here with Chase. Losing your parents."

Joe shrugged. "Fun, I guess. And then... not so fun."

"Why did you keep their house? Doesn't it hurt to come back here?"

Joe paused and looked at her. "Do these questions by chance have anything to do with your mom?" Ellie's eyes fell and Joe sighed. "Yeah, it does hurt. But remembering doesn't have to be painful. It hurts at first, and it keeps hurting. But eventually, you remember the good stuff, too. Instead of growing out of the pain, you grow around it and learn how to fill that space with other things. It just took me a while to figure out that I could fill it with love instead of drinking and parties.

"That's why Mrs. C hates me so much. After my mom died, Ryan was the only one who put up with my antics. I got stuck in a cycle of self-destruction and dragged Ryan down with me."

"What happened to them?" Ellie asked. Joe's downcast eyes refused to meet hers as he mindlessly shuffled through the puzzle pieces, but he continued his story.

"My dad died in a car accident on his way home from work. I'll never forget my mom sitting me and Chase down on that couch right there and telling us he was gone.

"The next few years were rough. I got in trouble at school for not paying attention or causing a disturbance. At first, everyone gave me a pass for losing my dad, but after a while, they were just annoyed. They wanted me to grieve in silence like Chase did.

"I really started spiraling after my mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was fourteen. We had a few good years with her before she died. Just like when my dad died, my grandparents sat me down on the couch between them. My grandpa put his hand on my knee and my grandma started sobbing. They didn't even have to tell me what happened. She died while I was on my way home from my last day of senior year, with Chase by her side."

Tears formed in Joe's eyes and Ellie watched in stunned silence as he wiped them away and looked at her.

"And then I guess the rest is history. Chase got famous, I self-medicated, and then I met Tessa. I told you once that she saved me and I meant it. Chase did his best to keep me in line, but Tess showed me how to love and forgive myself. She's one of the best things that ever happened to me.

"I loved my mom. I still do. Eleanor loves you, El, and I know you still love her, too. Sometimes the people we love hurt us and we hurt them back, but it doesn't mean we love them any less."

Ellie held Joe's comforting gaze. She knew he'd been hurt in the past, but she never knew to what extent. And her mother hurt, too. As Ellie contemplated whether she had it in herself to forgive her mother or allow her anger to continue raging, Tessa interrupted them.

"Ellie, look outside."

Confused, she shook away thoughts of her mother, pulled herself to her feet, and shuffled over to the closest window with Tessa and Joe in tow. It was dark out, but she saw something falling through the illumination of a street lamp. She wondered how rain could fall silently. Then she realized it was not raining.

A smile danced across Ellie's lips. The snowflakes floating to the ground were so mesmerizing that she did not notice Tessa had gone to get her coat until she held it in front of her. Ellie threw it on and rushed outside, not bothering to find gloves.

She swung the door wide open and marveled at millions of snowflakes flying all around her in a brilliant flurry.

The first layer of snow gave a soft crunch under her feet. She tilted her head towards the sky and squinted as snow settled on her eyelashes. Joe and Tessa joined her.

Ellie laid down in a patch of fresh snow. The cold powder melted as soon as it touched the exposed skin on her neck. With her arms and legs spread wide, she stared at the white sheet of snow gently falling on her.

"This is something," Tessa said, joining her on the ground, followed by Joe.

Ellie exhaled, but her mother's absence nagged at her.

She opened her eyes again to see snowflakes gently falling towards her, and she thought of the picture from her mom. Back when they didn't have much except for each other, and they were happy about it.

Eleanor should have been there, experiencing her first snowfall right alongside Ellie.

Through all the mistakes Eleanor had made in the previous months and years, she was still her mom. They both had been equally affected by Ellie's disappearance, but in different ways.

In the midst of a blizzard, Ellie knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to forgive her mom. As soon as they got back to Los Angeles, she would do just that: find Eleanor, love her, and forgive her.

Her eyes welled with tears of joy at the idea of being reunited with her mother for a third time. But before they had a chance to fall, a clump of powdery snow hit her face.

Startled, she turned her head to see Joe and Tessa grinning wildly at her. She grinned back and another puff of snow went flying out of Joe's hand towards Tessa.

They scrambled to their feet, kicking snow in every direction as a fight ensued. Their laughs filled the cold night air as they dodged each other's attacks. But their fun ceased when the old woman who lived next door scurried from her home in a tizzy, bundled up in a thick parka.

"It is dark out," she hollered, making her way over to them. A fistful of loose snow silently fell from Ellie's bare hand. She slipped behind Tessa, eyeing the woman's hands. Thankfully, she was not carrying a newspaper.

"Come on, Mrs. C," Joe said through a laugh. He'd probably taken enough of the woman's criticism in his life that it no longer fazed him. "We're just having fun. It's Ellie's first snow. Let a kid live for once."

Mrs. Costello narrowed her eyes at him. But instead of a retort, she crossed her arms and turned back in the direction of her house. Joe dismissed the woman's concerns and bent down to swat a handful of snow in Ellie and Tessa's direction as they scrambled to sacrifice the other to take the brunt of the strike.

"Joseph," she said, stopping him in his tracks. He paused mid-swipe and turned. The old woman eyed Ellie, then her overzealous neighbor, who was still crouched over in position to launch his attack. "Your mother would be proud."

Joe's lips pressed together in an attempted smile. What looked like a grin passed across Mrs. C's cheeks, but vanished into an instantaneous scowl.

"And for Heaven's sake, put some gloves on that little girl."

Joe rolled his eyes and sent snow flying towards Ellie and Tessa, once again eliciting shrieks of joy that eased the bitter wind. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. C."