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21 - Under the Porch

With only two days left until Christmas, Ellie and the Hollands did anything and everything to fill their time together. Joe and Tessa did everything in their power to keep Ellie's mind off her mother. But strangely enough, Lizzie continued to act normal around her.

The first day consisted of hiking on a nearby trail and strolling through Joe and Chase's hometown neighborhood. The second day was spent in the kitchen making enough holiday treats and snacks to feed an army. On the third day, they piled into their cars and ventured to the other side of town, to the main square.

As Ellie climbed into the back seat, Mrs. Costello took the opportunity to complain to Joe about the state of the gutters on his parents' house. She then turned to praise Chase for being a hands-on dad as he wrangled his youngest into her car seat.

The town was as picturesque as a Hallmark movie. The main square wasn't more than a few blocks, but local shops and businesses lined the streets for their annual Holiday Market. The barely-tolerable freezing temperature kept the crowds scarce. Despite the frigid air, clear skies suggested snow was still absent from the forecast.

"Let's go in here," Tessa said, pulling Ellie and Joe towards yet another storefront that looked like a Victorian-era house. If the last few hours had taught Ellie anything, it was that Tessa loved to shop, even if she didn't buy anything.

A man's shoulder brushed against Ellie's as they both tried to fit through the door frame. The faux fur around the hood of his red coat brushed her cheek. She clenched her arms to her side and kept her gaze forward.

Inside were randomly-arranged stacks of Christmas ornaments, bows, and wall decorations. The artificial smell of cinnamon clung to every surface in the shop. For the third time since they arrived, Ellie's mind swirled. Her vision blurred as she processed the store's unique aesthetic. She stuck close to Tessa and Joe as they browsed through the chaotic aisles that were barely wide enough for a grown man to fit through.

"El, look at this." Joe held up a little wooden nameplate with Ellie engraved in white letters, surrounded by snow-capped mountains. "We could get this for the tree at home."

Ellie wrinkled her forehead. "It doesn't look like an ornament."

"It doesn't have to be."

Ellie resigned herself to the fact that Joe was going to buy it regardless as he handed it to Tessa, who commented on how cute it was.

After Joe and Tessa saw what they wanted to, they checked out with the small treasures they managed to find. Ellie waited close behind as the cashier rang them up.

The winter sun blinded Ellie as she stepped outside. Once her eyes adjusted, she spotted the rest of the family across the street. Chase gripped Lizzie's hand and Robin held Stella's. It only took a second for Ellie, Joe, and Tessa to realize something was wrong. Before they had a chance to find out what, Lizzie broke free from her father's grasp and took off down the street.

"Elizabeth!" Chase's call for Lizzie to come back fell on deaf and sprinting ears. He ran after her, leaving Robin and their younger daughter to watch in horror.

Ellie's heart sank watching Chase race down the street after the nine-year-old. Without another thought, she rushed down the steps after them.

"Ellie, wait..." Tessa called for her to stay back, but Ellie ignored her. When she caught up to Chase, he was unsuccessfully coaxing Lizzie out from under an old house's porch.

"What's wrong?" Ellie asked, trying to hide that she had to catch her breath. Chase straightened and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Nothing. She just... saw something." Lizzie whimpered from the crevice she crawled into, telling Ellie it was more than what Chase suggested.

Her heart skipped a beat when she realized what the "something" was. Ellie rubbed her cheek to rid her nerves of the fur-trimmed red coat that grazed her skin moments ago.

"I'll get her." Swallowing any doubts, she crouched at the hole between the wall and the steps.

"No, Ellie, she'll come out soon."

"I think you're forgetting that I taught her to do this." She turned her back to Chase and squeezed through the small gap where Lizzie cowered with her head between her knees.

The frozen earth pushed back against her palms, but the enclosure at least provided protection from the bitter wind. She settled onto the ground next to Lizzie and drew in a long breath.

"Your dad said you saw something. It was that guy, right? The one in the red coat?" Ellie remembered the man who brushed her shoulder going into the store. She'd refused to stare at the man for too long out of fear he would look like Him.

Lizzie's head bobbed up and down between her knees. Instead of trying to talk her down, Ellie scooted closer. Even though she had longed to talk to Lizzie more times than she could count, she found herself at a loss for words. Sliding the knit cap off her head, she wrung it in her hands as she waited for Lizzie to unfold.

"Ellie." Hushed tones slipped through the silence. She turned to see Robin and Chase expectantly staring through the gap in the porch's wall while Joe and Tessa stood a few feet behind with Stella.

Ellie looked back at Lizzie.

"Your parents are worried about you."

Lizzie sniffled, but her head slowly rose to reveal bloodshot eyes. Her meek voice trembled.

"I don't want him to hurt you again."

"I promise He won't. We're safe." Her eyes fell; she wished she could believe her own words.

"Why do you do that?" Lizzie asked.

"Do what?"

"Pretend everything's okay." Lizzie's puffy eyes stared into Ellie's with more intensity than a child should have. "You yell in your sleep. I know you're not okay."

A short breath escaped Ellie's chest. Her hands twisted the soft fabric of the hat until it nearly ripped.

"I don't know. I guess it's easier to tell someone else the truth than it is to believe it for yourself." Ellie paused, then added, "Why are you acting like you're not afraid of me?"

Lizzie wiped her nose against her sleeve.

"My mom and dad said I had to."

Ellie's forehead wrinkled. She glanced back towards Chase and Robin again. To them, both girls had roles to perform, and Ellie played hers perfectly.

Ellie, the one who sacrificed to protect. Lizzie, the one who needed protecting.

Ellie shifted her weight on the dirt and turned back to Lizzie with a kind of softness that had been missing since the basement.

Lizzie was not afraid of Ellie; she was afraid of everything bad that could happen to either of them. Lizzie protected herself by shutting Ellie out, just like Ellie shunned her mother.

Lizzie was right; Ellie was not okay. But neither was Lizzie.

"We can be not okay together," Ellie finally said. "How does that sound?"

She extended a palm toward Lizzie. The little girl hesitantly took her hand, the rings of scars around their wrists rubbing together, and let her lead the way out from under the porch.

"Liz, thank god." Chase and Robin encircled their daughter in their arms as soon as she emerged. They even pulled Stella into their fold.

Once again, Ellie had returned Lizzie to her family, safe and sound.

She watched relief flood through their little family. Joe and Tessa flanked her on either side as she stood to brush off her pants. She forced a smile that turned into a grimace and shoved her hands in her pockets. The bitter wind bit at her unprotected ears.

Joe gave her a little nudge with his elbow.

"You doing okay, El?"

She opened her mouth to lie, but Lizzie's words rang in her ears.

Why do you pretend everything's okay?

"No. Can we go back now?"

Joe and Tessa exchanged glances. "Sure, kid."

As the three of them made their way back down the nearly-empty street, a red coat pulled Ellie's gaze. Chills ran down her spine, but not from the cold. Her eyes trained on the pavement as the man passed unwittingly.

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