When Ryan arrived to a quiet house the next day, with a bag of groceries in hand, he knew that Josh was gone. He had picked up the signs when Josh had showed up at his apartment the previous night, ranging from the fact that he had travelled on his motorbike and the fact that he was so calm and distant. It wasn't the first time. Ryan had seen it multiple times on tour when Josh would come along as a friend of Brendon's, or just as a journalist writing a special issue. He would act strange and then disappear for 24 hours, or more than 5 days without warning, always just meeting them at their next stop without an explanation of where he went.

It got to the point where the others would stop asking, just carry on in faith that Josh would always be back in the end. Nobody ever asked where he went and Josh didn't feel the need to tell anyone, not even Brendon who everyone believed knew everything about the young boy.

Ryan wasn't sure of the last time Josh left, but it definitely hadn't been recent.

Ryan began to put the groceries away in the silent house, knowing that he absolutely did not need to do this. Especially when Brendon was laid passed out on the couch. As always, Ryan ignored these facts, finishing what he was doing before leaving to go see Tyler.

Your highs and your lows

And your manic depression

It comes and it goes

-Andrew Jackson Jihad, People II: The reckoning

Tuesday had become Tyler's favourite day of the week. Technically, it had always been his favourite day considering Ryan and his' brunches, only now with the exception of brunch being an excuse to see Josh.

So as he sat down in the booth across from Ryan and Jenna served them he was happy, of course, albeit a bit confused. Josh was usually the first one to their table or at least making some fuss around the store. When Tyler was not met by the shrill sound of Josh's voice or his annoying face he was actually upset, so he voiced this curiosity to Ryan.

"Why isn't Josh working today? I thought he always worked Tuesdays." Tyler sighed.

"He's out of town." Ryan said casually.

Tyler gasped. "Instead of working? I mean, I thought he had bad morals but that's over the top!"

As Jenna returned to the pair with Ryan's usual and a new sickly sweet breakfast for Tyler, Tyler spoke up instead of thanking her. "Where's Josh today?" He asked.

"Oh, he texted me at like 3 am last night saying that he wasn't going to be in for a while. Didn't say how long though." Jenna explained, placing a hand on his hip. "Do you two know if he's okay?"

Ryan spoke up quickly. "He's fine."

Tyler and Jenna both turned to look at Ryan with an eyebrow raised.

"Since when does 'fine', ever mean fine?" Tyler asked.

"You're so dramatic." Ryan sighed. "Jenna, is it alright if we have some space?"

Jenna sighed and rolled her eyes, but still smiled. "That's okay, just let me know if my staff member is dead."

Tyler watched her until she made it to the coffee machine before surging forward across the table. "So, where is that brat?"

Ryan shrugged, sipping his coffee. "Hell if I know."

"Don't play dumb, Ross. I know he was with you before he disappeared." Tyler interrogated him.

"Ok, fine, he's buried under the complex. You can't tell anyone!" Ryan teased.

"Shut up, you asshole. Why won't you tell me?" Tyler pouted.

"He didn't say anything before he left. Why do you care so much anyways?"

"I-.. I don't know." Tyler spluttered, truly stumped.

Ryan shot him a knowing glance before shrugging again. "He'll be back soon enough."

"How do you know?"

"He does- Did this all the time, back on tour." Ryan hummed.

"Did he ever get hurt? How long was he usually gone for?" Tyler frowned.

"I mean- He got hurt but it probably isn't related. Maybe a night? Or like, 3 days."

"He got hurt before?" Tyler's eyes widened.

"Ty, people get hurt all the time." Ryan sighed, not at all phased by their conversation.

"But not Josh." He frowned. "People like me get hurt because I'm usually asking for it, people like him don't seem like the type of person to start a fight."

Ryan grinned. "You really need to hang out with Josh more, the man's badass."

"Not when he's crying over Gucci." Tyler rolled his eyes.

"Absolutely not." Ryan laughed.

Tyler stood up. "I'm going to go look for clues."

"What the fuck have you drank at 11 am to already be this weird." Ryan sighed.

"The power of friendship, Ross."

"Tyler..." Ryan laughed.

"I'm not kidding, I'll catch you later. Just going to go see if little Joshua is hiding away at home or something, if I was missing, I'd always check my own house first."

Ryan sighed and just nodded, humouring Tyler.

Tyler slipped out of his seat and took off towards the door, not even noticing the pillow that he knocked off as he set his mind on Josh and Brendon's home. It wasn't far, he could probably even jog there. Not that he would though, Tyler's lungs and overall health in general was terrible.

"Thank you for the coffee, Jen!" He called into the kitchen as he sped through the open doorway which was coated in a wall of hanging beads.

Tyler didn't believe that Josh was gone and even he didn't really understand why. Maybe it was because Josh just didn't seem the type, or more specifically that no one just disappeared for fun except for people like Tyler. Josh had mentioned being homeless so it didn't take a genius to work out that the guy hadn't had a perfect childhood, but Tyler couldn't think of anyone he knew who did. Perhaps he cared about Josh more than the narrow-sighted part of his mind let on. Perhaps he was comparing Josh to himself too much, and feared that a random disappearance

could lead to something drastic.

Perhaps Tyler feared that Josh wasn't going to come back.

Tyler was picky about who he let into his life and if Josh was going to throw their budding friendship into the gutter-... Tyler wouldn't let that happen. Josh was a rarity. He called Tyler out when he was being a jerk and as much as he hated being told he was wrong, he felt like he could breathe easier. He hated having people do whatever he asked of them, as if he were some God because it always had a negative effect on him. He'd feel so dehumanised, but he couldn't make a fuss because that's what every celebrity goes through. Even his parents would tell him to suck it up whenever he mentioned the stress back home. He craved people like Josh.

Tyler found that the only thing which could numb his pain was drugs, because sometimes the thoughts which plagued his mind were too blasphemous for him to even voice to Ryan. So he'd curl up on his bed and pick his poison, whether it was a line of cocaine, pyramid of ecstasy, pile of marijuana, or a shot of heroin. It always helped despite the neverending lists of life-long problems drug abuse could bring on because feeling numb was a lot more tolerable than the looming desire of death.

The drive to Brendon's house passed by a lot quicker than he thought.

He plugged in the code to Brendon's front gate and parked right out front, not bothering to use the garage as he didn't plan on staying long.

"Brendon!" He called after pushing open the front door, not the least bit surprised that it wasn't even locked.

Less than a minute later Brendon came down the stairs dressed in nothing but a robe and with a pissed off look on his face.

"Why are you here? I'm in the middle of something." Brendon grumbled.

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Gosh, at least refer to them as people and not things."

"If you're here just to be a dick, you can leave."
"Actually I'm here to ask if you know where Josh is."
Brendon leaned against the wall. "Didn't you have brunch with Ryan earlier? I thought he'd already told you?"

"He told me that Josh is gone and I don't believe him."
"Well he's not lying, Josh used to do this all the time. It was only a matter of when, when he'd take off again."
Tyler's nerves showed on his face. "But he'll be back right?"
"He always comes back, the longest he was gone was for only a week. Chill out."

"Sorry if my anxiety over the situation is affecting your boner." Tyler scowled.

He had ignored it until now, but the tent inside Brendon's bathrobe could not be unnoticed.

Brendon only smirked, "You're so tense, Joseph. Care to join us upstairs?"
"You disgust me, Urie." 'Think of Ryan!' He wanted to add but bit his tongue.

Brendon wasn't phased, "Your loss." He said before quickly going back upstairs.

Tyler stood there awkwardly for a while longer, looking around the room and taking it in, mentally comparing it to the party back in 2007. He did that a lot here.

He then hesitantly went upstairs, trying to remember the way to Josh's bedroom from sparse glances. There had been plenty of times that he had followed Ryan upstairs and caught glimpses of the bedroom whenever Josh left his door open. Tyler specifically remembered the time when he had noticed that Josh had taken down all of the posters which had anything to do with Tyler Joseph.

He avoided the door which emitted loud moans and other strange sounds, instead picking the door with the scratched handle and pushing it open.

Tyler closed the door behind him, thanking God for the black soundproofing foam Josh had covering his walls alongside posters. Tyler thought Josh had been a drummer and this only confirmed it, alongside blocking out whatever hellish noise came from Brendon's room.

The problem was that Tyler was stuck in the eerily quiet room without an idea of where to look for 'clues'. He looked up at the map on the wall, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw pins strung across it. This would be helpful if it wasn't a map of Zelda's 'Hyrule'. Disappointed in both himself and Josh, he turned to the closet on his right, sliding the door open.

Tyler saw nothing wrong in looking through Josh's belongings, the boys were friends, weren't they? But of course, if they were friends Josh would've told Tyler where he was.

Ignoring the dull ache in his chest, Tyler began to sort through the clothing hung up in Josh's closet. Tyler became discouraged by the amount of empty clothes-hangers in the closet.

He turned away, going to sit on Josh's bed and letting out a small sigh. Tyler laid back, staring at the roof that appeared red from the dull coloured lightbulbs Josh wasted his money on, Tyler couldn't believe that he had chosen to keep them after all these years.

The range of posters was impressive at the least, covering maybe a quarter of the room in which Josh's bed rested. While Tyler was amused by some of the posters he felt his breath pulled out of his throat when he stared back at himself. Poster-Tyler was maybe only 17 and looked so much more alive than he did now. Tyler remembered the concerts he sold this poster at and how genuinely happy he was with his life at that time. While his depression had still raged on then, the high that performing his music, before he had to deal with all the baggage of popularity, there was nothing he could compare it too.

Then something inside him snapped, and suddenly the thought anyone seeing him- even on stage, it made him feel sick to the stomach. He couldn't enjoy performing any more and anxiety drowned out his sadness like the beating of his heart in his ears. At first it was just marijuana, something to stop him from hyperventilating before and during shows, then he needed something stronger. However when he finally departed the stage and did not plan on coming back, that's when he relied on them the most, that's when it got bad.

"How long are you planning on staying?" Brendon asked, standing in the doorway just as he had at the stairs only now fully dressed.

Tyler's head snapped up in surprise, how long had he been standing there? "Sorry, lost track of time."

"You need to leave before I go out. Don't want you stealing all of mine and Josh's shit just because you have some weird vendetta against us." Brendon glared.

"I'm not some crazy ex-girlfriend."

"Exactly, you're worse."

"How are you so calm about this? About Josh?" Tyler glared at the other.

"He does a lot of weird shit, I'm expecting him to be back in like three days. It's not that big of a deal." Brendon shrugged.

"What if he doesn't come back?"

Brendon was quiet for a moment as Tyler had struck a nerve. He forced out a laugh. "He always comes back. You don't know him like I do. Josh is my best friend."

"You're right that I don't know him, but that doesn't mean I can't worry about him. Can't you send out the Brendon Urie Secret Police or something?"

Brendon rolled his eyes. "You're worrying too much," He started before adding, "This isn't your problem, you should just stay out of it."

"Why are you so against me all the time?" Tyler seethed.

"You're a dick." He said casually.

"Care to clarify?"

Brendon sighed. "You're so fucking arrogant. The way you present yourself is so dehumanising for other celebrities like me in the media. And not-to-fucking-mention how you've treated Josh these past few years." He stated matter-of-factly.

Tyler was stunned into silence, feeling the pain spread through his entire body as he felt his heart was dragged through the dirt, all the way back to before 2007.

He stood there with his gaze at the floor and his mouth opening and closing like a gaping fish. Gosh, the old Tyler who hadn't befriended Josh would have just laughed in Brendon's face, but it was as if the aura in Josh's bedroom had pulled down his defence and refused to allow him a second to recompose himself.

"First time someone told you the truth in a while, huh?" Brendon smirked.

Tyler's finger twitched at his side and his teeth sunk into his lower lip, he refused to let Brendon-fucking-Urie be the one to hurt him like this.

"No, it's not. But people like Josh see something else, I think. Because while you were out partying we went out shopping- and it might seem like nothing compared to what you get up to but it was fun." Tyler exclaimed, his voice airy. He didn't know what he was saying, but it made him feel good- even if it was just incoherent rambling.

"Do you think he's a fucking charity case? Just because he was grateful that you spent money on him doesn't mean you two are two peas in a pod."

"If it was just the money, do you think he would have gotten mad at me and called me out on my bullshit? Or told me shit about his past that makes me feel sick?"

"Do you feel more human now that you know about someone else's suffering? Welcome to the real world, Tyler Joseph! We've been waiting for you."

"Speak for yourself, Urie. You know, after you get that cock out of your mouth." Tyler could feel the bad side of him crawling over his back the longer the argument lasted. Perhaps he overestimated the ability Josh's room held over him, besides, Josh wasn't even here now.

"Jesus Christ, Tyler. We can't get through one argument without you bringing up your homophobic old-timey religion bullshit."

"My religion has nothing to do with this, Brendon. You were literally in the middle of a threesome when I got here!"

"You're only here because you're so obsessed with Josh anyways! Get the fuck out of my house." He glared.

Tyler stood his ground for a moment longer before snatching a hoodie from Josh's bed and shoving his way passed Brendon. As he made his way down the hall he held it up. "Ransom."

"You're such a creep." Brendon called out.

Tyler only flipped him off as he disappeared down the stairs, walking to his car and making sure to grease Brendon off as his car skidded in the gravel driveway before finally taking off.

Raise your hands now to testify

Your confession will be crucified

You're a sacrificial suicide

Like a dog that's been sodomized

-Green Day, East Jesus Nowhere

Just as Ryan had said, Josh had taken off in the early hours of the morning before the traffic had built up. Josh had always found comfort in the silence of the hills and the sound of his motorcycle polluting it. He loved the vibrations that made his hands tremble and the soft purr which was a little below obnoxious to those who were trying to sleep.The drive through the hills was a cleansing shower for Josh's mind and just like that, he found himself in Las Vegas.

Josh had a mental plan for what he had to do and decided to get a headstart before booking a hotel room. To be honest, he wasn't sure how long he'd be gone for and hadn't thought to bring his cell, not even his MP3 player. He was taking a short break from music and he would be gone until his list had been fulfilled.

Step one: Get a tongue piercing.

Josh was a man with morals and hygienic standards, so he wasn't going to some run of the mill beauty salon. He searched his mind for the tattoo parlour he used to hear Brendon's friends' praise. He parked outside the lavish shop and tucked his helmet under his arm, walking through the mostly empty car park and pushing open the door.

"Hello, how can I help you today?" A voice spoke up from the front counter. The guy was around Josh's age, tall and lanky compared to Josh but with a soft jawline and round eyes. His most noticeable feature being that his hair was dyed electric blue. Josh found himself fixating on both the slit in his eyebrow and the Medusa piercing he sported well.

"Not with much, do you do tongue piercings?" Josh asked shyly.

"I don't, but Melody does. She loves doing tongue piercings- not in a creepy way. She's just passionate about her job. Mel!" The guy explained, laughing awkwardly before calling out a name.

"What's up, Franky? Oh! A customer. Are you after a piercing?" Asked a soft voice.

The person who the voice belonged to was strange looking in the most radical way going. She was short and chubby, with pale skin and pitch-black hair which covered her eyebrows in neat bangs. Her sharp winged eyeliner matched her smooth black, and white collared, dress and rolled well with her numerous piercings. Her canine bites and bridge piercings, combined with the numerous pieces in his ears, should have been overwhelming but she pulled them off well.

Josh realised he was staring.

"Sorry." He apologised with rosy cheeks but Melody only smiled. "Could I get a tongue piercing?"
Melody nodded, "Of course, I actually have one myself." She stuck out her tongue so that Josh could see the black stud and he shivered in excitement.

"Yeah, that's what I want. Are you free now or should I come by later?"
"We're free for the rest of the day besides hair cuts but people don't really book. Usually it's the regulars or wandering travellers like yourself." Francis piped up.

"I'll take you around to the piercing table, have you had any piercings before? Or should I run everything through with you first?" Melody asked, leading him away from the desk.

"I've had a few." Josh shrugs. "How long is this gonna take to heal? I know the mouth usually takes longer."

"It depends, usually around two weeks or so until you can at least kiss someone again. But that's just from personal experience." Melody giggled, shooting a look to Francis.

"Are you... are you two together?" Josh asked hesitantly.

She smiled brightly. "Yeah, how lucky am I?" She said before shaking her head. "But you aren't paying me to talk about that, so sit down."

Josh sat in the seat, watching Melody sterilise the equipment and looking over at Francis who was booking someone in for a tattoo.

"Actually, I'd love to hear about it if you don't mind. I'm a sucker for romance but I'm stuck in an unrequited love." Josh laughed sadly.

"Aw, honey..." Melody cooed sadly as she picked up the needle. "How bad is it?"

"He's way too paranoid and hated my guts up until... a week ago."

"Well-"

"And he's Christian."

Melody cringed. "Okay, that's pretty bad. If it helps- hold out your tongue, sweetie-" She instructed Josh, sterilising the part of Josh's tongue she would pierce. "My parents were super homophobic. Then they were transphobic when they found out I was with Franky. Freaked me the fuck out at first but I got over it eventually." Melody rambled, putting an ink dot where the needle would go.

Josh didn't even flinch as the needle pierced his tongue, barely feeling the needle transfer to a bar before Melody fluently spun on the ball stud.

"How does it feel?"

"Weird." Josh mumbled, pushing his tongue against his cheek and then teeth before adding, "Painful too."

"Yeah, that's the usual but it'll heal quick. Were you after anything else? A haircut? A tattoo? A hug?"

Josh laughed before checking his wallet, "all of the above?"

And so from there, Josh got a quick haircut from Francis, then spent the rest of the time, while waiting for the tattooist to finish up on his current client, chatting to the couple like old friends. The two were really cool and were the type of people you could vent to for twenty minutes, then quickly swap to talking about your favourite chocolate bar. They were kind, and after every appointment they had, they'd come straight back to Josh who was resting on one of the couches in the back.