The last few days had been hard. And by hard he meant exhausting, draining, tiring and incredibly painful. Since Sam broke his back Colby had felt unbelievably guilty for the accident. God, he hated himself for not stopping his best friend from the idea. He wished he could switch with him and take the pain upon himself. Sam kept on reassuring Colby he would be okay and that it had been his fault for coming up with the idea, but even just the thought that he could've stopped him from doing it made him feel horrible. Without realizing the black haired male opened Twitter, scrolling through his feed but never stopping to interact. Everything was flooded with tweets about Sams injury and the faster he scrolled the more tweets he saw about the incident. He heard them scream at him silently, blaming him for everything even though it hadn't been his fault and he couldn't even read them due to the speed of his scrolling. He didn't realize he had started crying until the tears started to cover his screen. As if by fate a drop interacted with the app, stopping him from scrolling further and instead opening the tweeting-function. The now empty space waited to be filled. Colby stared at it for a second before beginning to type. 'i overthink everything i do', the message said and before he could change the tweet to something less honest and more positive, he pressed the post-button. Not bothering to wait for replies he switched off his phone and slipped it in his hoodie pocket, leaning back in the chair of the balcony he had been sitting on for the past few hours.

A cold breeze hit him as the wind picked up, reminding him he was still crying as the air felt colder at the tear stains than the rest of him. He sighed and pulled his legs towards his body, hugging them as he laid his head on his knees He allowed himself to close his burning eyes for a second, focusing on the fresh air around him. The raven haired man hated himself for feeling the way he felt, knowing he shouldn't be crying. He should be standing on the rooftops, screaming at the top of his lungs out of euphoria, showing the world how lucky he was. He had money, he had his dream job, he had millions of fans and he had a huge house he shared with the best friends he could ever ask for. Why the hell was he sad? Anxious? Depressed? He made a poor attempt of muffling his sobs as he cried harder. He hated the way he felt. He hated himself.

~

Sam couldn't sleep. He had tried for the past few hours, but the pain in his back kept him awake and he felt as if something was wrong. He didn't know where the feeling came from, but it had settled deep in his gut and wouldn't leave him alone, as much as he tried to ignore it. Defeated, he fumbled for his phone, trying to move as little as possible as he unplugged it from the charger and picked it up. "Fuck," he mumbled as a sharp pain shot down his back, scrunching his nose from both the pain and the light of his phone screen stinging in his eyes. He had a ton of notifications as he had forgotten to turn his Wifi off before going to sleep. Deciding he had nothing better to do than to check those messages he sorted through them, one specific notification soon catching his eye. It was from Colby's Twitter account. Immediately, Sam opened the tweet and read it. He knew how self-destructive his best friend's mind could be, especially at night. 'i overthink everything i do', the text said and it had been tweeted only 9 minutes ago. He sighed, brushing his still brown colored hair out of his face and standing up slowly, trying to ignore the pain as much as possible. He exited his room and walked towards Colby's, standing in front of his bedroom door for some seconds before knocking carefully. No response. Sam decided to open the door, peering into the dark room and whispering a worried "Colby?" No response. He stuck his head through the gap and soon realized the curtains to the balcony were swaying slightly, indicating the door to the balcony had to be open. Not thinking twice about it the usually blonde haired male entered his friend's bedroom and towards the balcony. 

As Sam came closer to the glass door, he could hear quiet sobs coming from outside. The sight before him broke his heart as his eyes searched for his friend. He sat on a chair, huddled up, crying, trembling. In an instant the older felt himself move towards him, carefully wrapping his arms around his friend from behind the chair. He could feel Colby flinch in his arms, which only made him hug him tighter. "Hey, you'll be okay, I'm here," Sam whispered with a sad smile, knowing this was all the black haired needed to hear. This time, however, it seemed as if this sentence only made him sob harder. Not sure if he did something wrong he loosened his hug, but before he could do anything else, Colby had taken his hands and pulled him back to him. His back hurt from the position he was now standing in, but he decided to ignore it as long as possible. This was not about him, it was about Colby. The older tried to calm him with comforting words, caressing the taller's skin where he could reach it. "How did I deserve you," the younger stuttered after some time of silence, relaxing his grip from his friend's hands and instead leaning his head back, looking up at the brown haired male. Sam could feel his heart break once more as he saw the tears on his his face. "You deserve the world, Colbs," he smiled kindly, wiping away the wet trails the tears had left and leaning down, gently kissing his forehead before taking the taller in his arms again.

~

Colby felt two strong arms wrap around him, pulling him out of his horrible thoughts and making him flinch. Immediately, those arms tightened around him, letting him feel safe in a world full of pain and danger. There was only one pair of arms that ever made him feel this way over all the years. Sam. "Hey, you'll be okay, I'm here," he said in his soothing voice and the raven haired could feel all the worry and pain radiating from Sam. He put him in so much concern all the time, and even now while he was injured he was the one taking care of the younger instead of the other way around. This realization only made him cry harder, a new wave of guilt swallowing him. He felt those reassuring arms loosen their grip around him and, fearing Sam would leave him, he grabbed his hands and pulled him closer. He needed this close proximity more than ever and although it was selfish, he couldn't help but hold onto his best friend like a lifeline. He didn't know how long they stayed in this position, Sam whispering soothing words into his ear, only for him to hear. "How did I deserve you," Colby asked in a shaky voice, finally relaxing his convulsively tight grip on the older, who he considered his anchor for many years now. He tilted his head back, leaning it against his friend and looking up at him with admiration and full of gratitude. "You deserve the world, Colbs," Sam whispered before wiping away the taller's tears and pressing a kiss on his forehead, making him smile. There were no words sufficient to describe what he felt for the usually blonde male who held him tight. 

"Doesn't it hurt?", Colby asked some minutes later when Sam switched his position in the hug. "It hurts like a bitch," he giggled before pulling the black haired male closer again. "Why do you do it, then?," he asked, feeling a bit better now that he had him by his side. "Because you're in worse pain than I am and seeing you in pain hurts me more than any physical injury," the shorter male answered while letting go of him and straightening his position. Colby didn't know what to answer other than a quiet "Thank you, Sam." But there was no other answer necessary and they both knew that. "Let's get back inside, it's really cool out here and I don't want you or me getting sick," the older grinned, messing up his best friends hair with his hand before turning around and going back inside, Colby following close behind. "Could you stay here for..," Colby started, but as he looked around the room, he saw Sam already sitting on his bed. "for tonight, because you can sleep better when I am around? Sure thing, come here," the brown haired male giggled, patting the empty spot next to him. And in this exact moment Colby knew he would never ever be facing any difficulties alone as long as he had Sam by his side.