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Half-hearted Purpose (Kirito x reader)

Anime: Sword Art Online

(Y/n)'s POV

Hurrying along the dungeon's inner floors, I raced past the various teams aiming to beat the boss at the very end. However, the lack of skill and understanding the other players had would prove to be their downfall.

Having played other RPG's, I knew of the techniques and skill sets acquired through experience. I knew of the behaviour of gangs and monsters. But most importantly...I knew how to look after myself.

Unsheathing my katana, I struck down the goblins in my line my vision, giving them no mercy for they deserved none. Travelling alone had been a recurring trait for me and did not hinder much of my journey, but perhaps this boss fight would make me reconsider my choices.

Stopping just short of the final door, a short staggered breath drew out of mouth. There were no other teams here...I made it in time. Mum and dad wouldn't have to wait much longer. I would escape this place...

Placing my hand on the stone door, I began to push it open. My actions were soon halted by a hurried shout rushing to my ears, compelling me to stop just as my pounding heart had wished.

"Oi! You're not thinking of going in there alone, are you?" asked a boy clad in black.
"I have to win this even if I'm alone."
"You'll never make it. You'll die before you even try to attack it."
"I don't need help. I don't care what you may think but I've climbed the floors without any help and I'll continue just as I always have."
"Let us give you a hand then. If you want to win so badly, wouldn't having more people be better for you?"

I pondered over his words, seeing reason clouding over the question yet my stubbornness refused to leave me alone. Sensing my hesitation, the dark-haired boy smiled and introduced himself.

"My name's Kirito. This is Asuna, Klein and Agil."
"...I'm (nickname)."
"Will you let us help you?"
"Just this once."

His team smiled, although I doubted the five of us could win. Perhaps I had just wanted a way to escape and give up. Perhaps being alone was making me lose my purpose. I...just didn't know what to do.

Stepping inside the dark, despairing dungeon room, the doors trapped us inside. The boss appeared, its horned head and ravaging claws craving our blood.

"Is your fighting good?" asked Kirito.
"How do you think I made this far?"
"Well then, I'll trust you to have my back."
"...sure."
"I'll make sure you're not in any severe danger."
"I hope so."

Charging towards the creature, I grabbed my katana and effortlessly flung it towards its head. Narrowly avoiding its claws, I activated my katana's explosive function.

Within seconds, the creature fell back yet my explosion had caused nothing but a meagre scratch. Kirito rushed past me, blocking an attack from reaching my body.

Winking at me, he began attacking in synchronised formations with his team members. Agil suddenly picked me up and told me to prepare myself. Upon my discreet nod, he threw me at the monster.

Stabbing my other katana into its head, I dropped down, dragging my blade with me. Asuna immediately jumped onto its body and dealt a damaging blow to its chest.

Sensing its arm coming from behind, I quickly bent over and avoided its incoming attack. Panting heavily, I pushed myself to attack. Kirito caught me as I stumbled backwards, unable to keep my balance.

"Your HP...it's deteriorating at an extremely slow rate. What happened to you?" he asked worriedly.
"Nothing."
"You're going to die and yet you're doing nothing about it?"
"I gave up on living ages ago."
"What if...you were to find a new reason for living?"
"...it's useless."

~Timeskip to after the defeat of the boss level~

Sitting on a bench on the outskirts of town, I clutched my head, trying to keep out the nightmare that threatened to take over my sanity. Why...had I been chosen to experience this pain?...

Tears glistened as they wearily slid down my lifeless cheeks. There was no moon in sight, the only light coming from the artificial stars. I...couldn't live like this any longer...

Kirito's POV

Silently sitting beside (nickname), I placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling her jump at my sudden touch. She asked for me to leave her alone but I simply offered her some hot cocoa.

"Is there a reason you like working alone?"
"Of course there is," she replied curtly.
"Do you want to talk about it? I'm happy to lend an ear if you need."
"What good would talking do?"
"Sometimes, you just need to let everything out. It's no good keeping it bottled inside."
"...I had a team once."

I waited quietly for her to continue as she took a sip of the hot cocoa.

"We were going to be the first to beat the dungeon. We were going to be remembered...but it all went downhill. We were raided by PK's, but it was strange how they knew of our location. My best friend...was their spy. She poisoned me before killing the rest of our team members. I've never trusted anyone since."

By this time, tears were pooling in her beautiful (e/c) eyes. Instead of crying, she simply laughed yet it was heartless...it lacked any sort of warmth.

Loosely wrapping an arm around her shoulder, I felt her tense before she cried...really cried. Pulling her into a tight embrace, I felt her tremble under my hold as she cried out loud.

"I miss my parents. I miss my friends. I hate this. I've never...felt so betrayed..." she exclaimed.
"Hey, why don't you team up with us? That way, you'll never have to be alone again. And I promise you, I'll never betray you."
"That's exactly what she said..."
"I'm not her, am I? I'm Kirito."

She laughed, her voice muffled by my clothes. I released her and smiled. Hesitantly lifting her head, she faced me with a smile of her own and it was no lie when I say that my heart might have stopped beating.

"Smile more, it suits you."
"...is it okay for me to be happy?..."
"Of course it is. Everyone has the right to be happy."
"I don't think you can say that about the monsters roaming the dungeon floors."
"I guess that's true."

This time, the both of us were laughing. I stared into her eyes, glad that I had gotten her to loosen up. After all, I've never seen someone look so lifeless...but judging from the fact that she could behave like this, she hadn't completely given up. And I was prepared to take her hand whenever she was ready.

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