This is where I post all of the fanfics I have reviewed so far. The most recent reviews are located at the top of the page. If you filled out an application and I have accepted it, you will find your review here in a few days. If this page becomes too long, I will post another chapter regarding reviewed fanfics. Hope the reviews are helpful!

Title - The Spear Wielding English Teacher - Katana Maidens Toji no Miko Fanfic - By XtremeXecutor - Completed 10/14/18

Rating - 7/10

Summary, (written by the author) -

After the Aradama incident that was occurred on the time and 20 years ago, Kanami Etou and Hiyori Jujou had returned to the real world and fought together for the tournament for the last time. Later on, a guy who happens to be a Toji who wields a Varieties of Polearms most likely to transfer to Heijo Institute teaching English subjects for those who didn't know about language culture. If One day that tragic events will occur they prepared for any kind of danger they might come across.

What I like -

- The cover of your story is really pretty, it's well formatted. :)

- You had decent-sized paragraphs and chapters, which is good.

- Very nice word choice, I saw many great words such as "agglomerated" and "evasive." Well done!

 - Overall good storytelling. 

- Love the dialogue!

What could be improved upon -

   - Adding more imagery, figurative language, and strong emotion in your writing can make it stand out.  

- Showing not telling - I've seen this happen a lot in your writing, especially toward the end of your chapters. Your starting paragraphs are always strong, just make sure to continue that as the story goes on. Remember to describe, not just tell the reader what's going on. 

- Grammar - I noted many spelling, punctuation, and phrasing mistakes in your writing. Try proofreading your work or getting an editor to help you out with that, as I feel like this is an area of your writing that certainly can be improved. 

Good luck with your fanfiction and hope this critique helps you! 

The Beast Falls for the Demon-God Eater Fanfiction - by CaseyFreakingSaurus - Completed 8/ 26/ 18

Rating - 9/10

Summary - (written by the author) -

Soma's life revolved around killing Aragami, nothing more and nothing less but when an unexpected God Eater crosses paths with him things suddenly goes spiral. Now Soma ends up battling with his own feelings uncertain of what to do with them.

Is it love? Or is just a sense of finally meeting someone the same as him?

"This is not what I expected." I said to myself. "Why? Why me?"

What I liked -

- Your writing style pays attention to detail and really knows how to draw readers in.

- Word choice was really good.

- You had decent sized paragraphs, great flow, good dialogue, and sentence variation. Good job!

- As someone who is not entirely familiar with the series, (I've heard so much about it, just never watched it), I found your chapter with all of the terms to be very useful. My only recommendation would be to organize the terms into alphabetical order so that the information is easy to refer to. You obviously don't have too, it just makes searching up the definition of the stuff in your story so much easier!

What could be improved upon -

- This is just an opinion, but I feel like the cover of your story seems to be kind of overcrowded with overlapping images and too much text. The cover of your story is an important factor in attracting readers, and many people prefer simple book covers, including myself. So keep that in mind.

- Characterization - As someone who hasn't watched this anime, I kind of feel lost when it comes to the personalities of the characters. They all seem to be laid back and sometimes jumpy, with the exception of Sora. All of your characters radiate a simple vibe, which really isn't that interesting. What are their personalities like? Try to answer that question in your writing.

One way to fix this is to either add more description and tailor the dialogue so it sounds more like the character it is portraying. Another way you can fix this is by adding an additional chapter describing the personalities of these characters. (Or you can just add the personality information under their pictures in the "What The Aragami Looks Like" chapter.

- Although you have incredible word choice and action description, there isn't much information about the character's surroundings. Where are they? What does their world look like? What does the briefing room look like?

- I was able to detect a few minor grammar mistakes. Proofreading your story/ getting an editor will help with this.

I really hope this helps! I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to thoroughly evaluate your story, but I did the best I could. Also, sorry if I came off as really picky. I'm only that picky when it comes to the best of the best. Amazing writing, by the way. :)

The Flightless Girls of Karasuno - A Haikyuu Fanfic Story - By XtremeXecutor - Completed 8/13

Rating - 5/10

Summary - (written by the author) - 

A Year after Karasuno won the Spring Tournament Qualifiers against one of the top four teams and advances to the National Tournament afterwards. Karasuno girls team are lacking teamwork and haven't won any tournaments yet since the year of the inter high and spring until things have changed. A year later, they disbanding their club due to lack of practice and unable to win matches until a girl and her new team showed up to reform their volleyball club and compete at the Another Interhigh Tournament and reach for the top. What fate awaits them for the Flightless Ravens of Karasuno Girls? What's more is more tournaments awaits them.

What I liked -

 - The plot is smooth and I like the concept of your story a lot. 

 - The first paragraph really set up the story very nicely. 

 - The occasional picture and/or video adds to the quality of your story and makes it more interesting. 

 - The cliffhanger at the end of the first chapter has me hooked. :)

 - The dialogue between characters helps with the development of the story quite nicely. 

 What could be improved upon -

 - Make the chapters shorter - It took me a full 25 minutes to read your first chapter, which shouldn't be the case. Although I was reading your fanfic on my laptop, most people read wattpad stories on their phones, and it's kinda inconvenient to scroll through 25+ minutes of work on your phone. Long chapters are a huge turn- off for readers, so if attracting readers is what you're aiming for, I recommend you shorten your chapters to about 3-4k per chapter. (at most.)

  - Although your word choice is good, you tend to overuse simple words such as "walk" or "smile." Try to replace these terms with their more intriguing synonyms, such as step, stroll, wander, or grin, smirk, simper. 

 - Grammar - from reading your story, I have a feeling that English isn't your first language, which might be why certain parts are oddly worded and hard to understand. If English isn't your first language, then I recommend that you maybe try to learn sentence structure and proper punctuation. If English is your first language, and you're still struggling with grammar, then I recommend that you either proofread your work, get an editor, or use an online editing site. 

I'm really sorry if this comes off as rude to you, I'm just trying to help you improve every aspect of your story to the best of my ability. :)

 - Add more emotion. Adding emotion to your story helps readers understand characters better, and helps readers notice character change and development a lot quicker. By adding an emotional aspect, readers can connect more and really feel the characters, you know? Also, show, not tell. Don't say that the character was happy, SHOW the audience that the character was happy. Have her bounce up and down, smile, etc. This way, the audience gets to infer the character's mood by the way they act, which makes the story more fun to read. 

Hope this review helped! Can't wait to read your story after the improvements have been made. Don't stop writing!

Lucid Dreaming ~Naruto Fanfic~ - By Maximum_Beat - Completed 8/11

Rating - 9/10

Summary - (written by the author) -

We follow the story of Kylie who's been having the same recurring dream for years now, seemingly transporting her to a different world night to night. However when she wakes up she finds that she remembers nothing of the dream, not even a sliver of an event or even a face of a person. One day when her close friends Sarah and Mark tell her they want to run away Kylie tries to convince them otherwise, she offers to go on a walk, and along the way they find themselves in a life threatening situation until a bright light swallows the world. While they have seemed to disappear they find themselves in the unknown world that feels quite familiar to our main character.

What I liked - 

 - I was hooked in from the very first sentence, as it was right in the action. Love it!

 - The plot is smooth and ongoing, and the story is a very enjoyable read. 

 - The characters are great, and Kylie is a very relatable person. Love her!

- I like how you made the "morning routine" part of the story interesting and full of character. Most people aren't able to pull that off, but you did, so good job!

What could be improved - 

  - Slight confusion - Ok, in your story you have this girl who has dreams about a place that she has never seen before, but when she wakes up, she forgets the dream, right? So how come she knows that the dream is about a place she has never seen before if she doesn't remember the dream? How does she know certain details about the dream if she forgot the dream? It's really confusing the way you have worded the story. Maybe you could say that she wakes up feeling scared and confused, but she doesn't know why. Or you could say that she remembers part of the dream, but she can't recognize the setting and what it's about. Remeber, if you forget something, you have NO MEMORY OF IT. And the main character obviously knows what's going on in her dreams, which leads the reader to conclude that she does remember her dreams. (Also, feel free to correct me. I act like a complete idiot sometimes, so tell me if I misunderstood or something like that.)

 - Although your word choice is impressive, you tend to overuse simple words such as "walk" or "run." Try to replace these terms with their more intriguing synonyms, such as race, jog, stroll, or stepped. 

 - Adding more imagery, figurative language, and strong emotion in your writing can make it stand out.

 - Your grammar was decent, but it could be improved. Try proofreading or getting an editor to help you with the few mistakes you have in your writing. Don't fret though, because I really don't think that the grammar was that bad to start with. 

- I adore the cover of your story, but I think you should add something to it that is related to Naruto, so people can tell that it is a fanfiction. I also feel like your summary could be more enticing, and more detailed.

 - I found your prologue to be kinda cliche, but there really isn't much you can do about that. It may help to add a major plot twist sometime later in your story, (if you haven't already.)

Overall, I think your story was great and will continue to do well. :)

Persona: Twin Fate - By  NanoriHoshimi - Completed 8/9

Rating - 9/10

Summary - (written by the author) - 

"Memories of events always reminds me of everyone, especially him. I never got to see him in the first place yet it was worth it; Sacrificing myself for everyone's future. Though, how I wish to see them one last time. But miracles don't happen. You make them with a consequence head on. The same world, the same people but a different story. This isn't mine, it's his"Minako Arisato embarks the same story with a different protagonist, Makoto Yuki. She intends to change the event and pay the consequence for the miracle she was bestowed with. Makoto Yuki is suspicious of Minako's action and wonders if they're connected or something. Throughout his story, his expectations will be exceeded by the person herself. Whatever it may be, look through their story with only a fleeting day left.

What I liked - 

- The first paragraph of your writing, (in the beginning), pulls the reader in instantly. It was very well phrased.

- I got a very strong anime vibe from your writing, which is really amazing. Very few people are able to give such a vibe, but you are, which is good. 

 - Your word choice was really marvelous, as well as the flow of your story. The entire plot seems well planned out. 

 - The story was written so that non- anime fans could also understand it. That's awesome sauce. :)

What could be improved upon - 

 - Adding more imagery, figurative language, and strong emotion in your writing can make it stand out. Although your word choice is fantastic, it may help the plot of your story if you described more. 

 - Use imagery with colors - Ok, this may be kinda confusing, but I think that instead of just mentioning colors over and over again like "black skirt, brown hair, pink sweater", you should describe the colors more and say something like "pitch- black skirt, coffee-colored hair, rosy sweater." This way, you will have more imagery in your story.  

   - You have several grammar and sentence structure mistakes, which makes your story confusing at times. This can be fixed by getting an editor, or by simply proofreading your work.   

   - I would also recommend slowing your plot down for a more "edgy" effect. Everything happens so abruptly in your story, so slowing it down may make it more readable. This is solely my opinion, although I recommend that you consider it.    

Overall, I think that you have a lot of potential. Keep up the good work! :)

Fate X - By ManWithoutPurpose - Completed 7/2

Rating - 5/10

Summary - (written by the author) - "Fate" the newest and most hyped up VRMMORPG game that only accepts 1000 players to participate pits each player against themselves in a battle royal to determine the champion of the game.

Players take the role of a Master and they must summon a hero from another dimension to battle alongside themStep in the shoes of "Skite" the Unluckiest and the Weakest Master with his Hero "Purple Saber" as they fight each battle where defeat means death and every victory means a step closer to fulfilling their wishes, What other Dark secrets does this game hides? Can he survive the war? Your choices impact the story and Skite's "Fate" is in your hands.

What I like - 

 - OMG, I love your opening prologue! It grabs the readers attention and really pulled me into your story. There are very few people that can nail a prologue like you did. Amazing job!

 - Your fanfic really captures that "anime- vibe" that readers go crazy for. By adding elements such as a "cursed sword" and a "young goddess", you really did a good job.

 - The pictures between the chapters added to the description and fun and made the story enjoyable.

What you could improve upon - 

 - Although the prologue was captivating, the rest of your story was full of grammatical mistakes, such as passive voice overuse, typos, incorrect punctuation or lack thereof, weird capitalization,  lots of awkward wording... the list could go on and on. To be honest, if it wasn't for the grammar, I would have rated your story 8/10.

I think you should take a break from writing and either get an editor, proofread your work, or learn basic grammar. Sorry to be harsh, but that's the truth.

 - I feel like you could add more description into your story. Describe items, places, the main character, anything and everything. Experiment with different word choices. I really want to know more about the characters and their personalities. 

 -  Add more emotion. Adding emotion to your story helps readers understand characters better, and helps readers notice character change and development a lot quicker. By adding an emotional aspect, readers can connect more and really feel the characters, you know?

 Hope this review helped! Can't wait to read your story after the improvements have been made. Don't stop writing!

Twisted Death - By TheBiologist13 - Completed 7/1

Rating - 8/10

Summary - (written by the author) - Dr. William Rutherford worked as Brandon "Beyond the Grave" Heat's caretaker after Dr. Tokioka's death. It was a job that made William a respectable person in Millennion organization since Brandon was the organization's top, yet handicapped enforcer.

One year later, William's brother Dr. Bernard Rutherford died in a car crash. People said that they saw a necrolyzed dog before the crash, but Brandon believed it was more than that. With more members of Rutherford family dying, Brandon thought another organization was involved. For his caretaker's sake and Millennion's safety, Brandon decided to investigate the case.WARNING: Contains graphic depiction of violence, character deaths, mentions of child trafficking and drugs.

What I like  - 

 - I like how you appeal to fandom blind audiences, and how you explain the anime in the first chapter. 

 - You have exciting chapter titles that really pull the reader into your story. 

 - You kept your paragraphs short and sweet, which really helps the reader keep track and follow along better. 

 - You had minimal grammar mistakes, and your fanfic seemed very well planned out. 

What you could improve upon - 

  - You could improve upon your word choice, and find synonyms to replace overused words.

 For example, instead of using the word "smile" a BUNCH of times, use the words like "smirk" and "grin" to replace it.

 - Avoid writing two consecutive sentences that start with the same word. Try to vary sentence structure and try to add some description into your writing. For example, instead of writing, "The first bullet hit the dog in the eye. The second one drilled into its forehead and slew it."

Write it this way - "The first bullet smacked the dog in the eye. Another bullet raced its way toward the helpless creature and drilled itself into its forehead."

As you can see, I used better word choice and eliminated the choppiness that your prior two sentences had.

- Since I'm not familiar with the anime Gungrave, I could be misjudging your writing, but in the first chapter, I feel like your description for Mika was different than how she actually acted in your fanfic. In your description, you said she was gentle, but in your first chapter, she is yelling and is a bit rude and calls people "annoying." You may want to put something about her having a short-temper in her description. As someone who has not watched the anime, I pictured her as a shy character, which is obviously not the case.

 - I believe you should add more description to your story so that people who have not watched the anime can know what is going on. Although you did have an introductory chapter which introduced the anime, your story still lacked the description to be understood thoroughly. I recommend putting little reminders about the definition of certain words throughout the chapter instead of stating all the information in the intro. I found it a bit tiring to go back and forth between your intro and the actual chapters, and so will other readers, so keep that in mind.

Overall, I think this fanfic is a must-read! After reading the first two chapters, I really want to watch the anime Gungrave now! 

 Hope this review helped! Keep writing! :)