"Here's your latte." Ryan's voice pealed through the cafeteria, the mediocre talk of the other people barely noticeable. He sat down and sighed deeply, handing Alexia her well-deserved latte. Her cold fingers ran up and down the hot, damping paper cup as her thoughts were somewhere entirely else. Outside, it was starting to snow softly. The sight was cute and frankly, romantic.

The big lump in her throat increased and she imitated Ryan, sighing too. She didn't look at him, but she knew exactly what he was thinking, his eyes following the snow that had been covering the floor outside.

He was out there.

Chaz, however, was somewhere else with this thoughts. There was a playful grin on his face as he made slurping sounds, finishing his third cup of chocolate milk. The sultriness burned in his throat and it felt so good, he kept drinking. 

"Chaz," Ryan warned in annoyance. Chaz looked at Ryan questioningly, mouthing the words "what?" Ryan didn't say anything but only pointed at Alexia, who didn't pay any kind of attention to the boy's interactions at all. 

Chaz nodded like he understood and gently put a hand on her shoulder. She immediately looked up, waking from her thoughts. A small smile formed itself on her face when seeing the chocolate moustache above his upper lip.

"What is it, Chaz?" She asked.

Ryan looked at Chaz hopefully.

"Do you want some of my hot chocolate?"

Ryan groaned and covered his face with his hand. That was most certainly not what he meant by pointing at Alexia and warning him. Alexia chuckled and shook her head. "No, Chaz, I don't want some of your hot chocolate."

Chaz exhaled in relief and muttered, "good"

It was silent for almost fifteen minutes, until Ryan decided to speak up. "You haven't touched your latte and it's getting cold."

"I'm not so thirsty, Ryan."

"Alexia.." Alexia knew that voice, it was when Ryan would turn into one of her parents and would hold a forth. Usually, she'd say something back, but considering the fact that she hadn't seen him in years, she kept her mouth shut. She'd missed Ryan and missed all of his stupid sermons. 

It was seven o'clock in the evening, everyone was done with colleges, yet he didn't show up anywhere. After the confrontation that morning, after he ran away, no one heard from him. Ryan and Chaz were the first people Alexia turned to when she had a small break and they were all worried off their minds.

Besides Chaz, who was too deep in his 'chocolate milk' to show any sort of concern.

"I'm fine, Ryan, really. I didn't expect him to jump off his chair and pull me into a warm embrace or something like that." Her heart clenched and she stared down at her latte, realizing that that was something she hoped would've happened.

Ryan shook his head. "I understand his reaction completely. There was no way in hell he'd just sit there while you're in the same room. You guys didn't even get a proper good bye. He'll be back soon and after he's rested a bit, everything will work out. Trust me on this."

Alexia licked her lips. "That's the point, Ryan, it's not like I did him any wrong. He knew what he was doing those last days, and I gave him a chance to back out. He didn't. He knew it would hurt to stay with me until I left. He knew it would hurt us both. We just don't want to face each other after that. We thought we'd never see each other again. I'm scared. He's scared."

"Of course he's scared. Do you know what happened to him after you left?" Ryan pulled up his eyebrows. Alexia shrugged, completely clueless.

"He's not the same anymore, Lexi. He has changed. Do you know how many times I had to bail him out of jail? The poor guy is high on weed five times a week. I can assure you that every single woman walking around on campus has had sex with him. Me and Chaz are trying to tame him, and if I'm being honest he's been really piping it down these past weeks. He's been doing great, you know? Yesterday, when we warned him that he'd get unpleasant news today, when we said it was about a girl, he didn't seem to think of you once."

Albeit it constrained her intensely knowing that she was the cause of all of these things, there was something that hurt her more. "He forgot about me?"

It was silent after she asked that. Ryan didn't reply and averted his gaze. He didn't say it out loud, but she knew that his answer was yes. Of course. Of course he'd forget about her, it was stupid of her to think that maybe she was still in his mind.

Chaz choked on his hot chocolate and put it down, spitting splashes of warm substance on her blouse and Alexia groaned, grabbing a tissue. "Shit, sorry Alexia." Chaz apologized, grabbing another tissue to help her wipe all the brown spots off her blouse.

It didn't really work. "Anyway," Chaz continued, not looking her in the eyes. His face was fixated on her blouse and he kept wiping. "What Ryan's saying isn't true."

Alexia furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Ryan. Ryan didn't seem to know what Chaz was talking about too and shrugged.

"I share my dorm room with Jason. He hasn't forgotten about you. He tends to say that, but you're always in his mind. Sometimes, Jason has like, these good weeks, you know? Those weeks where he studies and he spends the days with us instead of with Summer and her blow-jobbing mouth and he's really not that cranky... During those days it seems like nothing ever changed. Like he never even met you. But then, at night, when Ryan is asleep in his own room and me and Jason are supposedly asleep too, there's always this one thing that happens. Look, I don't sleep a lot because I enjoy playing Black Ops during the night. My sound is always off because, you know, I don't want to wake Jase up. But he always talks while sleeping, always! And believe me when I say that your name is one of the many things he says. And then, after such nights, he goes back to grumpy Jason. You know why he's grumpy, right? Because he can't forget you. And when he does forget you, for like, two weeks, he remembers you in his dreams and he wakes up back to normal."

Alexia widened her eyes and Ryan did the same. "You never told me this." He spoke in confusion.

"Because I promised Jason not to tell you. You're our mother Ryan and people hide things from their mothers."

"I am your mother?" Ryan narrowed his eyes.

Alexia couldn't help but burst out in sincere laughter. Although Chaz is fairly dumb, the things he just said cheered her up immensely. Obviously things weren't going back to the way they were, but she never even thought that would happen. All of her concerns right now were about Jason getting back home safely without a cold or so.

However, there was one thing she picked up that she couldn't quite forget.

"Guys?" She decided to take a small sip of her, now cold, latte.

"Yes?" Ryan's mood had increased too and Chaz took a swig of his hot chocolate, happy that he could cheer both up. Alexia with the story he had told her and Ryan with the fact that Alexia had laughed.

The four of them had always been great friends.

"Who is Summer and her 'blow-jobbing' mouth?"

Ryan and Chaz both started to laugh and Alexia giggled along. Their laughs were too contagious.

After a short description of the blonde (now black) witch named Summer, they all split up to go to their own rooms. Alexia had hugged Chaz and Ryan tightly and her heart had clenched even more at the feeling of her two best friends in her arms. There was just one person missing.

The snow had stopped falling and she walked over campus to her dorm room, her shoes scrunching the snow with every step. There was a light breeze but apart from that it wasn't too cold. It was November, so the snow was early this year. Hopefully it'd last till at least Christmas. Maybe New Year's Eve.

Her thoughts were tangled in wild memories as she reached her dorm room, opening it with the key her roommate had given her.

Her roommate was a nice girl. Her name was Chloe and she had platinum blonde hair. Chloe had treated her incredibly nice and Alexia was thankful for having such a nice roommate. Maybe they'd be good friends.

"Alexia! Girl, where have you been?"

Chloe was seated on her bed, a tower of dvd's in front of her. Alexia smiled and closed the door behind her. "The question is not where have I been, the question is; what are you going to do with all those movies?"

"I was planning on watching them with you, shithead."

Warmth spread itself throughout Alexia's body and although the big lump in her throat hadn't disappeared and the cold and hurting thought of Jason kept wandering through her mind, she was glad.

"Good. I need that."

"Yay! So, what do you say, scary or romantic or comedies?" Chloe started looking through the movies. Alexia shrugged. "I don't mind... scary?"

"You are my soul mate."

Alexia laughed and grabbed some shorts and a random shirt. After she changed she plopped down on the bed next to Chloe and exhaled, kind of tired. The two of them had picked a fair list of horror movies and had started watching them on Chloe's laptop, repeatedly screaming.

"This movie is ridiculous. I mean-of course someone is going to appear behind her, it's so cliché. Oh, yeah, sure, why not add the scary, ticking music to make it even more scary? It's not like we're both expecting that stupid ghost to--God damn I knew this would happen. Watch your back, bitch! She embarrasses the entire female population! No one would follow the sound, I'm seriously disappointed. I hate female characters."

"Chloe," Alexia whispered, shaking in fear. Why did she choose scary movies? 

"Sure honey! Jump! Go! Run! That will help! The ghost is probably way slower than you are! I'm so... REALIZE THAT YOU ARE NOT FASTER THAN A FUCKING GHOST! This is not good for my health. Can they stop adding that music? It's pissing me off. Oh my God, Alexia, how could someone even be so dumb. This is frightening. Not because I'm scared! I'm not scared. It's just that, this is so stupid that it's scary. I mean, Jesus, did she really not see that? Wow, wait, pause. Is that--is that blood? It's blood! Oh my God. There's blood seeping out of the walls. I'm done with this movie, holy shit I'm so entirely done-"

Chloe and Alexia both screamed piercingly. Alexia shut the laptop frightened and closed her eyes, trying to regain a steady heartbeat. That was probably the scariest movie she'd ever seen.

"I tend to ramble a lot when I'm scared." Chloe murmured, breathing deeply. Alexia chuckled. "So I've heard."

It was silent for a short while, the girls trying to calm down, until someone knocked on the door. Their heads snapped up and they looked at each other, Chloe on the verge of crying.

"There is no 'ghost' behind that door." Alexia muttered, trying to convince herself. Chloe snorted. "Of course not! Go open it."

"I--you go open it."

"God no."

The person behind the door knocked again. Chloe flinched.

Alexia narrowed her eyes and got off the bed, tiptoeing to the door. It was dark and her stomach made a loud noise, confirming her hunger. Chloe had her eyes closed and Alexia took a deep breath, opening the door.

"Took you long." Chaz' voice echoed through the room, stepping inside. Alexia sighed and ran a hand through her hair, promptly letting herself sit down on the floor. Ryan walked in too and looked at Alexia in confusion. Ryan turned around and looked at Chloe, who laid flat on her back, breathing fast and deep. Alexia leaned her head against her knees and tangled her fingers into her own hair.

"Are you guys, uh, okay?" Chaz pulled up his eyebrows.

"We were watching a horror movie but we stopped." Alexia managed to get out, not changing her position. Chloe flinched again.

"I'm going to die." She whispered.

"Do you guys want to, uh, accompany us in Chaz' room?" Ryan asked, not quite sure what to do with them. He was going to invite Alexia anyway so they could order some pizza, but it was not an enormous deal if Chloe would join.

Besides, Chaz' boner was showing and that was the result of Chloe breathing fast and deep. Imagine what else she could do to that boy?

Alexia got the hint and her head jerked up, meeting Ryan's eyes. "Is he..."

She didn't want to finish the sentence, but Ryan instantly nodded. "He's taking a shower at the moment. He was freezing."

"Is he okay?"

"No. No he's not." Ryan looked at the floor and bit his upper lip, not knowing what to do anymore. "We thought, maybe you could, I don't know, talk to him?"

"He doesn't want to talk to me Ryan! God, I wish he wanted to, but he doesn't. Plus, I'll be an emotional wreck--I am already! Look at me! This is all getting to me so bad that I can't even watch a scary movie without totally freaking out! I can't do this. Seeing him, like that, I'll burst out in tears." She almost felt like crying only by confessing that.

Ryan sighed and put his hands on her shoulders, pulling her up. She avoided his eyes and tottered on her legs before she stood steady. "Relax, Lexi." He soothed.

"Easy for you to say."

He rolled his eyes and looked at Chloe and Chaz. "Guys, c'mon."

"Yay, I can't wait to order pizza!" Chaz almost jumped and Chloe squealed, following Chaz who ran out of the room. Ryan walked behind them slowly as he waited for Alexia to gain back her confidence.

She hastily stepped out of her room and Ryan wrapped an arm around her shoulder encouragingly, "You can do this."

She doubted it, but she wasn't going to say anything.

-

Alexia thought the way to their room was long enough to think, perhaps like, 10 minutes, but it took less than 3 minutes and nervosity started building up in her chest. She stood there, in front of the door, dying.

Or so she felt like it.

"Are you okay?" Chloe looked at her in concern. Chloe didn't know anything about this situation or their history or anything at all for that matter. No one in this situation would be okay. 

Alexia ignored her, looking at Chaz who had unlocked the door and skipped inside. "We're back! Are you hungry? We're ordering pizza!"

"I'm not hungry."

Alexia's heart lurched in her throat, painful ripples overtaking her body. She started inhaling more air than she possibly could take. That voice was the one thing that could make her day, so beautiful, so hoarse. His voice was so low and so different, but in a good way.

Her legs didn't move and she was left alone in the corridor when Ryan and Chloe walked in as well.

"Close the God damned door." That voice snapped in annoyance. Alexia clenched her jaw. Dear lord, he sounded good.

Nothing happened.

There was a loud groan followed by footsteps. Alexia widened her eyes as they fell to the ground, meeting two feet covered with white socks. A low, weird sound which was much of a squeal emitted his lips.

He was only wearing shorts. No shirt. Her eyes travelled up his biceps, breathing in the entire picture of his beautiful packs. Sure he had an amazing body before, but this was something entirely new. Her hands ached with the feeling of wanting to run her hands along his skin. Both his arms were covered with tattoos. Alexia narrowed her eyes and cocked her head, following the many tangled tattoos on his arms.

Jason cleared his throat and she looked up, meeting his eyes. Her heart sank to her stomach and she grabbed the doorknob for support. Tears welled up in the back of her eyes and she bit her tongue hard, trying not to cry.

"What are you doing here?" He hissed. His face, however, didn't fit with the words he had spat. He was looking at her gently, his expression sad. He felt torn between two fires. He could clearly see that she was going to cry, and he wanted to comfort her so badly.

Alexia shook her head. She couldn't talk. She would cry the moment she'd open her mouth and she didn't want that. "Ryan, brought me.." the words were mere whispers and she felt like throwing up.

"Ryan...?" Jason frowned and turned around, looking at Ryan. Ryan shrugged. He looked back at Alexia and found her wiping her tears away roughly. His hand flew up to her cheek--he couldn't help it.

Alexia's lip started trembling. His thumb brushed away a tear, making everything worse.

"I don't know what to do. I'm so confused." She stressed, her throat closing.

Jason felt the same way. "I know."

And with those words, she let out a loud sob and he caught her, wrapping his arms tightly around her miniscule frame. Her feelings and emotions were a rollercoaster, she didn't know what to feel, she didn't know how to react, but she did know that being in his arms was the one thing she would always love more than anything. So warm, so protected.

Neither of them wanted to let go.