Chloe in the gif!!! I love Chloe :( 

----

They don't lie when they say that you can feel your relationship crashing. You can feel the other person pulling back, giving you less attention, avoiding your touch... It is, in fact, the worst feeling ever.

"Quit moving like that." Ryan grovelled, irritation evident on his face. Alexia puffed out a breath, trying to keep her legs still.

The weight of dark clouds shadowing her thoughts was becoming unbearable. Loneliness hit her in an unexpected wave, not knowing how to deal with it any longer. It had been one and a half week since she saw Jason, and although yes, she knew what was keeping him from visiting her, this was the first time he didn't in so long. Alexia was aware of the hazard that came with him moving around freely, and after last time notably, she understood his ambiguity. That, however, didn't change the fact that it was nearing two weeks without any sign of Jason, and Alexia wasn't going to hold out.

It's not like the last time she saw him all was fine. The opposite, actually, Jason seemed to do whatever he could to avoid her at any costs.

She didn't care. Whatever it was that he was going through would not ruin what they had.

That didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

"Alexia..." Ryan beseeched again, and she immediately stopped swinging her legs. "I'm sorry!"

"It's fine, it just makes me nervous."

"I know." Alexia shrugged, forcefully staring at her book again. They were in the library, trying to study for their midterms. Both of them failed miserably, being distracted by either Chaz and Chloe poking each other across the table or their own wretched thoughts.

Chaz and Chloe still hadn't made up with Alexia, and by now she didn't even care anymore. It was easy for her to ignore all of their PDA, her mind depraved by bleak thoughts concerning her mom, her marriage, and Jason.

Because no matter what happened, wedding preparations were still happening and to Alexia it was repulsive. Her freaking mother had passed away, murdered at that, yet her dad and Damian both stressed how important it was for them to not forget about the wedding.

Damian she understood, the man was reckless and heartless. There was no way in hell he'd give a single crap as long as he still got to marry her. Her father, though, that she couldn't comprehend. The man was broken, rarely smiled anymore and spent his days in his stupid, stuffy office. He didn't come out until late at night and then continued working in his bedroom. Alexia knew, because she hadn't slept for days.

Yesterday, her dad made a sudden appearance in the living room, something no one expected. And what was the first thing he said?

"Alexia, I just remembered, did you already have a wedding cake tasting?"

As if that was important!

Her father had never before showed this much care towards her wedding, so why, out of all times, did he choose now?

Something wasn't right.

"Can you hand me that red book?" Ryan asked, not looking up from the papers he was intensely reading. Alexia bend over the table to grab the book, but Chaz reached out at the same time and their fingers brushed against each other's, causing them both to look up.

She shrouded her fingers around the book, wanting to give it to Ryan, but Chaz did the same thing and held it back.

Alexia frowned, "What are you doing? Let me give him the damn book."

Chaz stubbornly raised an eyebrow, "Why should you give him the book? Last time I checked, Ryan is my best friend, and not yours. Or do you want to take him away too?"

"Are you serious?" She exclaimed in disbelief, her eyes widening, "Chaz, grow the fuck up and let me give him the fucking book!"

Chaz shrugged but didn't let the book go, looking at Ryan. "Who were you asking, Ryan?"

Ryan couldn't help but let out a short laugh, shocked by the immaturity of the discussion. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, "I didn't ask anyone in particular, Chaz, I just asked for the book."

"Great." Chaz eyed Alexia again, who was fuming to say the slightest. "That means that it doesn't have to be you who gives him the book, correct?"

"You're such a fucking child!" She blurted out, not knowing why she was letting his childlike behaviour get to her. He hadn't even said anything that upsetting, yet it bothered her that he thought she had taken Jason away from him. She, in no way, intended to do that.

"You're a bitch." He snapped, "I can't believe you're just sitting there all innocent and shit, acting like you haven't done anything wrong. You took my best friend away from me."

"Shut up, Chaz," Alexia sneered. She didn't want to hear this, the guilt of what was happening to Jason was already eating her alive, she didn't need Chaz to make it worse.

"Shut up, Chaz!" He mimicked her in a girly voice, then went back to his own, normal voice, "Easy for you to say! You still get your weekly fuck-visit, I haven't seen him in fucking weeks!"

"I haven't seen him in two weeks, idiot! You think everything is so fine between me and Jason? Well guess again—he won't even look at me!" her tone had risen, the frustration indisputably laced with every word she uttered. Chloe frowned, somewhat displaying the faintest concern, but then fixated on Chaz, putting a hand on his thigh. "Calm down, babe."

Chaz rolled his eyes and slapped her hand away.

Alexia waited for Chloe's witty remark, yet the girl didn't say a word as she leant backwards against her chair, acting like his actions didn't affect her. The shame drooped off her face and she bit her lip.

The fury in Alexia's chest kept on building and building.

"Ouch..." Ryan whispered. Alexia glared at him, and he stuck his hands in the air apologetically.

"What? You're ordering Ryan around now too?" Chaz growled.

Deep breaths, Alexia.

Instead of replying, she looked at Chloe, who avoided her eyes. "Why are you letting him do this to you? Look at how he's treating you!"

Chloe swallowed uncomfortably, "He's just on edge..."

"And it's none of your fucking business!" Chaz yelled angrily, cutting Chloe off. "She is my girlfriend, and I'll treat her any fucking way I want to!"

"You have no respect for her whatsoever! It's disgusting, how many times have you cheated on her so far, Chaz?"

Chloe flinched.

"Just because your relationship is on verge of ending, doesn't mean my relationship sucks too! Wait, let me elaborate that because I bet you don't know what relationship I mean! Oh well, your relationship with Damian and your relationship with Jason both suck anyway."

"Guys!" Ryan roared, standing up. "Stop it! Now! How the hell is this going to help with anything, huh? I know we're all worried about Jason but please, shut up. This is ridiculous! If Jason was here, he'd just laugh at all of your stupidity!"

Chaz and Alexia remained silent. Heat rose to her cheeks, realizing how foolish this was. If Chaz was going to spend the rest of his life blaming her for not being able to see Jason regularly again, then so be it. She knew it was her fault and she didn't need Chaz to kick her further into the ground. She felt bad already.

"You don't get it." Chaz snarled, sharply looking at Ryan. Ryan snorted, "Get over it."

"I'm going. I'll see you later Ry." Alexia mumbled. She was not in the mood for this.

She collected all of her stuff and jaunted out of the library with a heavy heart. Not talking to Chaz was formidable, yet fighting with Chaz was way, way worse. She still loved him and hearing him say things like that wasn't pleasant.

Arriving in her room, Alexia put on comfortable clothes and took her time settling on the bed, a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach expanding.

Her mind wandered off to the last time she saw Jason.

"I'm here, talk." Jason ordered, clutching the phone firmly with his hand. Alexia frowned, taking a deep breath as she ordered herself to calm down.

Jason was worried, of course he would act like that.

"What do you mean, 'um'? Spit it out already, Teo!" He spat crabby, pacing through the living room. Maya looked at Alexia with her eyebrows raised, mouthing the words "Damn". Alexia just nodded, a painful ripple of what seemed like utmost chafe jolting through her body. Why was he being like that? She completely understood his concern for his family and she was with him on that. However, there was no reason for him to ignore her, was there?

"Fuck outta' here. You're fucking kidding, right?" He gruffly hissed, covering his face with his free hand.

Alexia wanted to stand up and hold his hand, letting him know that it would all be fine, but somehow she was apprehensive. What if he would push her away?

"I understand." Jason puffed out a breath and dropped his hand. For a split second, his eyes met Alexia's. She cocked her head, mentally asking him whether they were okay.

He nodded shortly and then furrowed his eyebrows, looking away.

"No, I know that. I just..." Teo seemed to cut him off and Jason looked at the ground in defeat. His shoulders slumped and he slurred himself to the nearest chair, seating himself with a loud thump.

"I know." He whispered, closing his eyes.

Alexia's heart sank to her stomach. She absolutely contemned seeing him like that.

"I agree Teo. I just had to—" Once again he came to an abrupt halt.

"Okay."

And just seconds later, Jason hung up and put the phone down.

Nobody spoke. Words were unnecessary because albeit his family was alright, he had still put their lives in jeopardy and Alexia just knew he was holding himself responsible, though she did the same. After all, she was the one to convince him that it would be okay if he visited them.

"So..." Maya awkwardly voiced, causing both Alexia and Jason to look up.

"What did Teo say?" Alexia questioned, glancing at Jason. He shrugged, "That it was stupid of me to set foot in the same city as them."

"Yeah but—" She tried, but Jason didn't give her time to finish her sentence. "No. He's right, Alexia. What the hell am I thinking? How fucking stupid can I be?"

"Don't blame yourself. Of course you'd want to visit them."

"So? That doesn't change shit!"

After a short discussion, Jason had told them that he needed to go and without so much as a proper good bye, he had taken his car and drove away. Alexia knew he was beating himself up about it, and it miffed her. It wasn't his fault, why was he so keen on making sure he didn't have a single ounce of self-love left?

The door opened and caused Alexia to wake up out of her thoughts, surprised by the person that walked in.

Chloe hardly ever returned to her room as she spent the nights with Chaz and only came back to grab her things. Alexia didn't care anymore.

"Hey." Chloe softly murmured, closing the door after her. Alexia kept looking at her defiantly but didn't utter a word.

Chloe looked horrible. She had bags under her eyes and a dejected expression permanently on her face. Her infamous cheery smile was nowhere to be found, as she now just walked around with slouched shoulders and her head down.

"I know you're angry with me," she spoke lowly, carefully sitting down on her own bed, as if it wasn't. Alexia stifled a throaty chuckle, "You don't say."

"It's just..." Chloe sighed, "I don't know what to do. Ever since Jason left he's being like this and it's killing me."

Alexia knit her eyebrows together and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "How about you dump him?"

"But I can't! I love him." Chloe snapped irritably.

"In that case there's one thing we can do..."

-

One hour and a variety of bottles later, the girls were wholly liquored up as they were sprawled on the floor, a myriad of giggles and laughs escaping their mouths. Alexia hadn't felt this relieved and lax in a very long while and God, did it feel good.

"—and then he apologized, and I was like, what? Because just seconds ago he was telling me how annoying I am and I was so confused Lex, I honestly didn't know what to do but then he looked at me with those puppy eyes and I was over it," Chloe rambled, then proceeding to hiccup.

They both laughed loudly as Alexia grabbed the bottle, putting it to her lips. "I feel ya, sister. Jason has a very effective puppy face too."

She chugged the burning liquid before putting the bottle back down, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She felt a bit dizzy, but oh well. Chloe nodded wildly, "I've seen him do it. His puppy face his beautiful."

"He is beautiful." Alexia garbled, suddenly fazed by how dazzling he was to her. It stung. "Errrything about him is beautiful. His hair, his forehead, his eyes, his nose, his lips, his cheeks, his jaw, his neck. His body, his dick." She giggled and so did Chloe.

"Chaz' dick is beautiful too. It's just..." Chloe frowned as if she was thinking about it and then jumped up, rummaging through her stuff before she sat back down with a paper and a pen.

With long strides of the pen she tried to draw Chaz' dick. "No, not really like that." She mumbled, fixated on the paper. Her tongue hung out of her mouth, perfecting her drawing.

"Lemme' see." Alexia yakked, crawling closer to Chloe. Chloe proudly held the drawing up and Alexia broke into fits of laughter. "It's really like that?"

"Yes!" Chloe swiftly looked at the drawing, "Maybe not with the lop-sided balls but you know, it's kinda' the same."

They laughed again. "I really did not want to know that! Chaz is like my brother," Alexia scrunched her nose, "ewwww!"

Chloe nudged her shoulder, "Draw Jason's dick!"

"It wouldn't fit on the paper, duh." Alexia gabbed, causing Chloe to laugh again. Chloe stood up, grabbed another heap of papers and sat back down, handing them to Alexia. "How many do you need?"

"I suppose this is enough." She chuckled, spreading them over the floor in a way that made it seem that there was one, big paper. She then grabbed the pen and carefully drafted Jason's penis.

"That is big." Chloe ooh'd, her eyes plastered on Alexia's masterpiece. Alexia nodded, "It is huge. The first time I had sex with him I was in so much pain!"

Chloe nodded too, "Weren't you like sixteen?"

"Uhuh," Alexia said, "I started bleeding, it was so awkward Chlo. But then he told me that it was alright and that it was his first time too and after a couple of times it didn't hurt anymore."

They both stared at the big drawing of a penis. "Have you ever done anal?" Chloe whispered, stifling her giggles. Alexia looked away, heat rushing to her cheeks as she cleared her throat.

"Oh my God, you did!"

"We just wanted to try!" Alexia defended herself, shamelessly blushing. Chloe screamed and then continued to laugh. "How was it? Didn't your asshole split in two or something with that big penis of his?"

"No!" Alexia shrieked. "It actually wasn't that bad... But we didn't like it so much."

"I can't believe you did anal."

"Shut up."

There was a comfortable silence. Alexia stared at her drawing of Jason's dick and Chloe did the same, her eyes on her own drawing. All of a sudden, Chloe started sobbing.

"He doesn't love me anymore." She cried and Alexia wrapped her arms around Chloe, trying to console her.

"He is so mean Lex, you have no idea. Sometimes he won't even look at me and I try so hard!"

Alexia's heart lurched in her throat, trying to swallow it away. Seeing Chloe cry made her cry and she didn't want to. She had to stay strong.

"I know how that feels." Alexia muttered, sniffing. Chloe looked at her with bloodshot eyes, "you do?"

"Last time I saw Jason, he didn't look at me once! And I hadn't done anything wrong Chlo!"

"It sucks." Chloe cried, wrapping her arms around Alexia to pull her into a tight hug. Alexia nodded, biting her lip so her tears wouldn't fall. Why was Jason being like that? She loved him more than anything! Didn't he understand?

"I hate men," Alexia whimpered, burying her head into Chloe's neck. Chloe agreed with a hum. "I hate me."

"What, why?"

"I am a terrible person!" Chloe murmured, pulling away from the hug. Alexia shook her head, "You're not!"

"I am! I didn't even say anything when your mom died! I am the worst friend ever!"

Alexia burst out in tears. She didn't like it when people said it so blatantly. Chloe apologized over and over, pulling Alexia back into the warm and comforting embrace as she began sobbing again.

Chloe cried for Chaz and their relationship, whilst Alexia cried for Jason and her mother.

-

"Be careful!"

"I am fucking careful, shut up before you wake them up."

"It reeks of alcohol in here. How much did they drink?"

"They didn't hold back, that's for sure. Is that my vodka?"

"Shut up, Chaz."

Alexia felt the ground underneath her disappear, two strong arms cloaked around her back and her knees. Though she heard everything that was being said, she didn't pay it any mind, completely dozed off. She leaned her head against the person's chest contently.

"Poor Alexia."

It was silent.

"You know she hates fighting with you, right?"

"It's not like I enjoy it or something."

"Then why do you keep picking fights with her, idiot?"

"Because!" Silence, "I'm jealous. She still gets to see Jason every so often, while we both haven't seen him in weeks."

"She hasn't seen him in a while too, apparently he's being very distant."

"Distant? I can't say I'm surprised."

"Yeah me too. It was bound to happen."

Alexia couldn't help but grin at the feeling of her back touching something soft. Someone covered her with a blanket and then kissed her on her forehead.

"Let's get this room cleaned up."

"Yeah. I could get drunk from only smelling this."

There was a chuckle. "Is Chloe asleep too?"

"Yeah."

"You were very rude to her back there."

"I can't help it! I feel so bad, but every time she does something like that I just turn into a dick."

"Speaking of dicks..." the person trailed off.

"Wow."

"Who drew that? It's fucking huge! The entire floor is covered!"

"Shhh! Don't wake them up!" someone whispered, "that poor other penis is like a miniature version of that big one. Poor whoever's dick that is."

"It's yours, Chaz. It says, 'Chaz' dick' with a heart."

"What?"

"Oh my!" He burst out in laughter, immediately being shushed again.

"Shut the fuck up, Butler!"

"But—they—" He couldn't stop laughing.

"Whose penis is the big one anyway? I bet they made a mistake."

"It says, Jason McCann's penis. Aw! I'm pretty sure Alexia drew the big one and Chloe the little one. Ouch, Chaz."

"Shut up! Let's just get this fucking cleaned up, okay?"

"Don't get your little dickie in a twist, Somers."

-

Though Alexia suffered tremendously from the worst hangover ever, she had still hauled herself out of her bed and into her car, forcing herself to just deal with the hangover later on. This was important and head ache or not—she had to do it. She felt empty without having any contact with Jason and last night with Chloe made the decision for her.

Why wouldn't she try to visit him? What was the worst thing that could happen?

After a million supporting words and hugs, Chloe gave Alexia breakfast-to-go for in the car, fully preparing her for the long drive. She packed her with a bagel, water and painkillers, commanding her to call whenever she needed anything, even if she was in Boston.

Alexia appreciated it. She knew that Chloe felt guilty with the way she'd been treating Alexia and vowed to be a better friend, and to be honest, it was nice to have a female friend again.

After four hours she was now here in Boston, staring at the semi big Alarcon house in desperation. She couldn't help but feel excitement building in her chest, eager to see, hear and feel him. It had been too long.

The weather was nice. It wasn't cold and there was a nice, warm breeze. Alexia took a deep breath and then stepped in front of the front door, ringing the bell. Her head felt heavy and she felt slightly sick to her stomach, although she tried to ignore that.

Hangover comes later, remember?

The door opened and a short woman appeared, one she'd never met. Alexia tried to smile, but it seemed that even that was hard to do, so she just decided to get it over with. "Hi, I'm Alexia. Are Felix or Claudia here?"

"One second." The woman disappeared and came back a minute later with Claudia by her side. Claudia dismissed the woman and opened the door further, "Come in, hija. It's been long."

Alexia nodded, feeling a fresh wave of exhilaration as she walked in and followed Claudia to the living room.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, thank you." Alexia sweetly replied. Claudia raised her eyebrows, "Alright. What's up?"

"I came for Jason."

Claudia grimaced, awkwardly clearing her throat. Alexia immediately knew something was not right and perked up, furrowing her eyebrows. "What? What's wrong?"

"Corazón..."

"Claudia!" Alexia snapped, reeling with hesitation. What was going on?

"He's not here, sweetie." Claudia murmured, picking at her nails. Alexia felt a tug pull at the core of her insides, taking a deep breath. "Okay. Where is he? Is he out with Felix? Doing some grocery shopping or something?"

"No, Alexia. He's not here."

"When is he coming back? I can wait." She stated, restlessly juggling her foot. Claudia sighed deeply, unable to look at Alexia, and Alexia hated it.

"He's not coming back, Alexia. Like I said, he's gone."

"Where the fuck is he, Claudia?"

"He left almost two weeks ago, wouldn't tell us where he went."

Alexia croaked out a hum, her entire body suddenly going cold. Panic set in her stomach, tears brimming in the back of her eyes. He left? If Claudia and Felix didn't know where he had gone, it meant that unless he was the one to visit her, she had no chance of seeing him anytime soon. How can he just leave? Is it even safe for him to just leave?

"You shouldn't worry, he seemed to be very determined. I think that wherever he's hiding, it's keeping him safe." Claudia tried, but Alexia firmly ignored all of her talking, trying to focus on her breathing.

Keep breathing.

But, how could she? Jason was gone, and the last time she saw him he didn't give her the impression he would visit anytime soon.

He was gone.

-

Y'ALL SLACKED AF IN THE LAST CHAPTER :( Please please please vote and comment because it really motivates me! Thank you for reading still lovies