"Wait, so let me get this straight. You used to date Jason McCann?"

"Yes."

"That's incredible." Chloe and Alexia were headed to their dorm room, their books in their arms. It had been a long, tiring day and both of them were craving for weekend already. The classes were utmost boring and irrelevant, not to mention that they were so long Alexia actually got the time to catch up on her beauty sleep.

Chloe had her long, blonde hair wrapped up in a small, tight knot which made her look hotter than ever. "It's whatever." Alexia mumbled, practically throwing her books into the corner of her side of the room.

"It's not whatever, do you know how much people adore him around here? There is not one girl that doesn't have a crush on him. The gays love him. Even the real guys want to be friends with him. All of that and he's not even nice."

Alexia scrunched her nose and furrowed her eyebrows, sitting down on her bed. She was having a horrible day and the only bright spot was probably seeing Maria again, whom she hadn't seen for years. She could still remember her clearly from being over at Jason's house that much and her bond with Maria was surprisingly good.

She didn't want to talk about Jason. Not after this morning. Because she knew she went over the top and she knew how much it killed Jason.

Besides, she was nothing near excited for the wedding.

"Let's stop talking about him. You look smoking in that hair, how did you do it?"

Chloe smiled widely and started showing Alexia how she had done her hair, distracting her from everything that was going on. The girls kept chatting for a while until there were knocks on the door, followed by the door clapping open and revealing Ryan and Chaz. What a surprise.

"Alexia! You need to talk to Jason." Ryan shot, not even bothering to greet her. Alexia rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious."

"I'm sick and on my period."

"Alexia..." Ryan groaned. She snickered, "Don't lecture me. He doesn't want to talk to me, did you even hear what I said this morning to him? I didn't even mean half of it."

"Yeah we heard, obviously. You're evil." Chaz butted in, his eye still fixated on Chloe. Chloe was blushing feverishly.

"I'm not evil!"

"You kind of are." Ryan muttered, looking at the ground. Alexia gaped at him. "Who are you to say that? You're everyone's mother!"

"Can people stop calling me their mother?" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Guys! That's not the point! Alexia go talk to Jason or we'll make you!" Chaz snapped, annoyed that he couldn't pull any moves on the hot blonde in front of him. Alexia clenched her jaw. Sure, Chaz was childish and a tad irritating but he could be a real man when it came to it. All of them could.

"Fine! But don't come running to me when he's all moody again!"

She didn't wait for a response and stepped out of the room, shutting the door so hard the entire building was able to hear it. Her anger vanished and she started feeling guilty for the words she had said this morning, embarrassed to even talk to him.

Alexia knocked on the door when she arrived at Jason and Chaz' room and it instantly opened, revealing a shirtless Jason with only sweatpants on.

She cracked a smile. "How do I always meet you when you're half naked?"

He couldn't laugh about it and closed the door after she got in. He went back to the spot on his bed that appeared unmade and grabbed his phone, granting her no attention at all. 

"Look, Jason," she started, realizing jokes weren't going to help with this.

"Don't bother."

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say all those things, I didn't mean half of it anyway. I just wanted to show you your stupid manipulative scary face wasn't going to work on me. Did you really expect me to just sit there and let you be your cocky you without being my cocky me? You know how I am. I hate it when people challenge me."

He didn't reply.

"You wanted to talk after the lessons. So let's talk. You can ask me everything and I'll reply honest. That is, if you do the same."

He looked up and put down his phone. "Right. I wanted to talk. Sit down."

She awkwardly tiptoed to his bed and sat on the edge.

Jason didn't waste any time. He started asking questions right away and honestly, that was way more better than him not even looking at her.

"Why are you getting married so late? It's been... years."

Alexia flinched at the word and stuttered, "Eh, I didn't want to do it early. I actually wanted to wait until I really loved him and I felt like I was too young anyway. Mom didn't like it at first but dad respected my choice and said it was mature."

Plot twist, she still doesn't love him.

"That's fair." Jason murmured, averting his gaze. She sighed. "My turn. Do you like this Summer girl?"

Jason grinned this time and looked back at Alexia. "Why? Jealous?"

"Just wondering." She answered, albeit it was obvious she felt jealous.

"Me and Summer fuck... often." Jason smirked, "I'm not a fan of her, I'll say, but she's easy. When I can't find anyone else I just go for Summer. I like easy." he wiggled his eyebrows and Alexia rolled her eyes.

"That's disgusting." she muttered. He chuckled and the two of them were silent. She thought about what he had said. Jason fucking around? Chaz and Ryan had already told her he had changed, but hearing it from himself was weird.

"Does Freddie remember me?" Jason asked, not looking at her. Alexia couldn't help but smile at the memory. Jason and her little brother Frederico used to be very close. Every time he'd come over, he'd basically just babysit Freddie. Her dad even made him babysit for real sometimes when no one else was available. He loved Freddie like it was his own brother.

"I don't think he does. He was so young when you were around, you know. He's almost five."

The sad look on Jason's face broke Alexia's heart into a million pieces and she was determined to change the subject.

"How about Jaxon? Does he remember me?"

Jason beamed, "Of course he does. He was in love with you. To him, the age gap didn't matter. Or that you were dating me." 

Jaxon was Jason's little brother. Just like Jason and Freddie, Alexia loved being with Jaxon and Jazmyn, his sister. They were like her own siblings and she loved them to death.

"That is so adorable." She breathed out, a smile tugging on her lips. Jason smiled too. "Yeah, it is."

"Is Dominic still married to the same girl?" It was a common thing in the Valdez family to have a lot of relationships and although Jason knew Dominic was the mature one, he was really curious about this.

"Yep, he's still married to Carina. She's seven months pregnant now! I can't wait. God, you know how much I love babies!" Alexia loved this question. She loved Dominic. She loved Carina. She loved Carina being pregnant. She loved babies.

"I didn't expect him to find anyone else, to be honest. Dominic and Carina are like--made for each other." Jason knit his eyebrows together, "But... I don't get it. He chose Carina, right?"

"They chose each other." Alexia licked her lips, not liking the direction this conversation was heading.

"That's unfair, don't you think?"

"How is that unfair?"

"Because, like, I couldn't stay with you but Dominic can stay with Carina?"

He was looking at her again, confusion brimming in his eyes. "I don't know." She did know, but explaining to Jason how the business worked when it came to marriages would take hours and she didn't want to upset him.

"Stupid fucking answer." Jason snapped, grabbing his phone. Great. Now he's pissed off again.

"Before this morning I hadn't seen Maria around at the cafeteria. Does she work every day?"

Jason shrugged and kept his gaze on his phone, "No. She has some days off every week. Don't worry, you'll see her a lot more."

And with that, their conversation was over. Alexia tried to cut the tension with that simple question but Jason was too annoyed to be an adult about it.

After a long silence, Jason broke it. "About what you said before, about the wedding. When you said you'd wait until you'd love him--your wedding is in 9 months. Does that mean you love him now?"

Alexia didn't reply instantly. There was one right answer, and one true answer. Both of them would affect him. In a good and in a bad way. She didn't know what to do. Never let people think bad of your family. Your family's reputation is the most important thing in your life.

Her mother's voice echoed through her head and she took a deep breath, sighing.

"Yeah, I do."

Jason looked away again and faced the wall, making it impossible for her to see his face. "You can leave now."

So she left.

-

"How did it go?" Chloe immediately exclaimed when Alexia was back in her room, locking the door. She wasn't in the mood for Chaz and Ryan walking in again.

"Great."

Putting on her pyjamas, she lied down on her bed and closed her eyes in exhaustion.

"That was sarcasm, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry." Chloe sighed, referring to how Jason and Alexia's conversation had gone. Alexia shrugged, her eyes still closed. "I didn't expect anything. Hey, let's have dinner."

Chloe agree and the two of them put on their shoes, leaving the building for the restaurant downstairs. 

After dinner, the girls went back to their rooms, did some homework and then both went to sleep. It was a tiring day and Alexia had the worst nightmare ever.

She was fitting wedding gowns. Every dress was prettier than the other and she would get better and more compliments every time she changed. Jason was with her. "You look perfect now." And his voice sounded so amazing while he said that, that she woke up crying. Maybe it was the wedding stress. Can you have wedding stress 9 months before you're actually getting married?

When she woke up after that dream, there was no way in hell she'd be getting any sleep furthermore.

Her first instinct was to get out for a walk, but remembering the weather she only shivered. She thought snow in November was cute and romantic, but now she was only aware of the cons. Fuck you, snow.

Although Alexia first thought she might fall asleep again, it didn't happen. She started playing games on her phone and tried to beat her own high score, somehow stumbling upon her photo gallery. She had over 10.000 pictures due to her phone always putting back everything in the cloud, and decided to start deleting some of them, beginning all the way back.

The first picture was a picture of Jason smiling widely. His hair was longer, his face was more round and way more full and his eyes were sparkling. She recognized her own hand on his chest and felt a clenching pain in her own. It hurt her more than anything to see how he had changed.

He was skinnier now, his jaw line extremely set because of the weight loss. Alexia hadn't seen too much of him yet, but he looked unhappy and had lost the warm sparkle in his eyes.

Heartache.

Her finger lingered above the delete button, but she couldn't do it. The photo was too precious to delete it so she quickly scrolled further, realizing that basically all of her old photos consisted of Jason. Jason smiling, Jason laughing, Jason dancing, Jason singing, Jason fooling around, Jason drinking, Jason hugging her, Jason cuddling her, Jason kissing her...

Seeing some old video, she clicked play.

"Good morning, princess," Jason's low, raspy voice galled through the room and Alexia plugged in her headphones fast.

Jason was filming her while she was asleep. Of course, she could remember this. She clenched her jaw the second she saw Jason's hand slip to her bum, squeezing it. "Jason, stop it. Let me sleep." Her own voice nagged.

Jason's chuckle behind the camera was loud and Alexia flinched.

"But, I miss you,"

Without hesitation, she deleted the video and threw her phone on the ground. She hated him. She hated him for going to this college. She hated him for still loving her. She hated him for not being the man her parents wanted him to be. She hated him for being so attractive.

The list went on and Alexia fell into a deep sleep.

-

"Wake up, sunshine."

"Go away, Chloe!" Alexia mumbled, trying to get the hovering girl out of her face. Chloe startled and backed away, sighing. "You need to get up though."

"Says who?"

"Me! And your mother, and Chaz. And our college. And the professors. We're going to be late."

"What does my mother have to do with this?"

"I meant Ryan."

Alexia growled and pulled her blanket further over her head. Since when did Chloe have permission to make the mother joke? She didn't even know Ryan before Alexia transferred.

Deciding to ignore that one comment, she pushed off her blanket and instantly shivered, pouting her lip at the cold room. Chloe was fully dressed, her beautiful hair bouncing around her face. Her entire body was covered with a long, fur coat and Alexia made a mental note to herself. I want a fur coat as well.

As she changed as fast as she could, her brain wandered back to yesterday.

Jason

No Jason thoughts today, Alexia. She has got to stay strong for two more days until it's weekend. During the weekend she'll be fully Jason free, plus, she can't keep thinking about her ex boyfriend near her fiancé, can she?

She doesn't know how seeing Damian will be, especially after this strange week. It'll probably feel weird and uncomfortable and most certainly unfamiliar. Everything with Jason felt so right, even fighting with him felt good. With Damian? It was ignorant and irrelevant. He freaked out about the tiniest things. Alexia will probably spend the days comparing Damian to Jason. Ending up disappointed.

Chloe grabbed her arm and pulled her to the door. "No time for make-up today, Alexia, you look wonderful. Let's go!"

And because of the fact that she didn't really feel like putting make up on anyway, Alexia let Chloe drag her through the hallways. They were, of course, way too late and the professor had daggered his eyes at them the entire way to their seats. Jason didn't look up when she walked past him, he didn't flinch, he didn't even blink. His face was emotionless and his eyes were harder than she thought they possibly could be.

It made her feel guilty.

Finally in their seats, Chloe started babbling about Chaz. "He is so... I can't explain.. so weird. In a good way. But he's manly, you know? Like he can be a total freaking dork at times but I've seen him all hard and manly too and it's so, so attractive, Alex. Like, he's so super duper adorable when he's drinking his chocolate milk and he gets this milk moustache and Oh my God I have to keep myself in from licking it off his upper lip so much! I wish I can do that. But yesterday I accidentally tripped in the corridor to our room and he caught me, of course, and it was so hot. His strong, biceps around my waist just felt so good and like he didn't just let me go-he kept holding me forever and I didn't know what to do so I just stared at him with my mouth wide open and he was smiling cutely and little-ish and although he had been, like, a crazy body builder when he caught me, that smile is literally so adorable! Do you think he likes me? He's totally into girls and I'm kind of scared I'm not good enough because I know he has been with tons of girls before..."

Alexia zoned out, not listening to her talk about Chaz any longer. Mainly because she could never think of Chaz in a romantical way; they were way too close for that. Also, she just could not think about Chloe's love life when her own was messed up more than Chloe's could ever be. Selfish, yes, but Alexia couldn't help it.

Although she was seated one seat behind Jason, it was quite uncomfortable. There was an obvious tension in the air and all the students around them only made it worse.

Everyone knew there was some kind of history between Jason and Alexia and because of the fact that, one, Alexia Valdez was the new, mysterious, unknown girl and, two, it was Jason motherfucking McCann-- That name should say enough-- They were all overly curious and sitting behind Jason caused them all to whisper and gossip. Alexia did not care. They just made the tension worse.

Of course everyone sensed that Jason was on edge. Alexia herself sensed it, Chloe did, the entire class did. His neck vein was popping, his jaw was set and his fists were white from all the clenching. It could have been terrifying to Alexia, but she wasn't the least bit scared.

We're talking about Jason McCann here, god damn. That boy would never hurt her and she knew it. She was his weak spot. He was her weak spot.

Sure she cared about Damian. That was no secret and no lie. Forced to be with him wasn't all her parents. After she left Jason, she just wanted to forget about him and stop feeling hurt. Damian didn't know about Jason, he thought she was just head over heels for him when in the beginning of their relationship, she threw herself at him. In fact, she was just trying to be so clingy that she would forget about Jason completely. Which she didn't. She never forgot.

The point is, she cares about her parents too. And all her siblings. And her sibling's partners. And her friends. Chloe. Chaz. Ryan. Caring for someone is nice, but it isn't as big as people make it out to be.

There is only one person she loves romantically, the person she's in love with. Jason McCann. Always had, always will. Her feelings never went away, she never forgot him and in the years they had been apart, she had been miserable. It is a miracle they're in the same college. Alexia thought it was fate. It had to mean something.

No matter how long they have been apart, the moment she saw him sitting there, her feelings came back harder than they had been in the past years and she realized that very moment she had never loved anyone as much as she loved him.

The worst part is that she's getting married. And he thinks she's excited. He thinks she loves Damian. He thinks she stopped loving him.

Alexia knows damn well that's what he's supposed to think, but it feels so wrong.

What the hell is she going to do?

"Alexia?" Chloe's voice brought her back to reality. Alexia's head shot up and she looked at Chloe questioningly, kind of glad Chloe awoke her. Her thoughts were too complicated and they hurt. She could never be with Jason.

She thought she was over this ever since they got into their relationship. She knew it wouldn't work out anyway, hell, he even knew. Why is this devastating her all over again?

"Did you even hear what I said?" Chloe mumbled.

Alexia nodded. "I'm pretty sure he likes you, Chlo. Have you even seen how he looks at you? Did you even notice the huge boner he gets every time you breathe? The sight of you only turns him on. He's totally falling for you."

It was silent for a while and Chloe eyed her suspiciously, a disgusted look on her face. Alexia frowned. Did she say something wrong?

The ticking of the clock filled the silence between the two girls as both of them repeatedly wrote down a thing or two the professor had said. Chloe hadn't replied.

"Alexia," she muttered, looking at her notebook. Alexia looked up, "What?" why was Chloe being so weird after Alexia told her Chaz was totally falling for her? Isn't that what you want to hear when you like someone?

"About what you just said..."

"What about it?"

"I was asking you if you knew why the professor gave us so many projects. I said it was ridiculous and I wished out loud for him to stop staring at me like I'm dumb."