It was undeniably wonderful to finally have warm weather again. The nice May air was just what everyone needed, especially after the brutal winter they had all endured. People were taking pleasure in wearing their cropped shorts and wavy shirts, seemingly positive about the weather. It seemed that there was not a single cranky person. That is, Alexia aside.

Alexia, Chloe, Chaz and Ryan were all gathered in a park not far from their dormitory, soaking up the sun as they were sprawled all over the grass. Chloe had her head on Chaz' chest, dreamily riveting her belly and Chaz had his eyes closed in satisfaction, a simper gracing his lips. Ryan lied on his stomach, fixated on the book in front of him as he keenly turned another page. This left Alexia, who agitatedly plucked the grass out of the ground. Her mind was spinning in circles, but it all came down to one person: Jason.

She couldn't enjoy this relaxed afternoon knowing that he was in the hospital, unable to savor the sun like everyone else. Her stomach twisted repulsively, faintly remembering Damian's words and the feeling of his rough hands on her body.

Her life sucked. Damian took it upon himself to make her pay for every second she spent away from him. He showered her with obscenities and then proceeded to fuck her till numbness, reminding her of how she was now his and of how lover boy was out of the picture.

"He can't save you now. Lover boy doesn't even remember you. Doesn't that hurt, babe?"

To top it off, her brothers were awfully pissed at her. After Damian had ordered her to stop them from challenging him, the first thing she did was tell them. They just laughed at first, apparently thinking that she was joking.

She was not. She'd made it her life mission to keep Jason safe, and if her brothers had to stop toying with Damian for her to reach that, then so be it. Damian wasn't worth it anyway.

They didn't think of it that way. They thought of it as her being a pussy, but Alexia's mind was set.

"I love this weather." Chloe slurred whimsically. Chaz hummed and put a hand on her belly. She smiled even wider as she wrapped her hand around his, softly giggling. She had a tiny bump. It wasn't one that made you say, 'Wow, she's pregnant!', it was more the kind of bump you get after eating. Chloe and Chaz didn't care, though. They loved it.

Alexia clenched her jaw and looked away. She wished them nothing but the best—truly—but she was so jealous. They were extremely lucky and she just wished God had blessed her with the same luck.

He did. He woke Jason up.

"A boy, I'm telling you." Chaz murmured, the satisfied simper never leaving his face. Ryan momentarily looked up from his book and chuckled, "Not again."

"Yes, again." Chloe urged, "Because it's a girl. I know it. I'm the mom, you know."

"So what? I'm the dad!"

Ryan and Alexia groaned in unison, but everyone thoughtfully agreed that the argument was cute. Alexia rather had them argue about the gender of their baby instead of whether Chaz had cheated or not.

"Alexia, what do you say?" Chloe looked at Alexia with big, expectant eyes. Alexia snickered, shaking her head. "No, I have nothing to do with this. You guys fight it out."

"Lex! C'mon." Chloe pouted, sticking her lower lip out to the point where everyone started to laugh again.

"Okay, okay! Um... a boy?" she didn't want to let Chloe down, but she had a slight feeling that the baby was a cute little boy.

"Fuck!"

"Yes! I told you!"

They both screamed at the same time. Ryan and Alexia rolled their eyes at each other as they watched the arguing couple.

"I know it's a girl!" Chloe countered angrily, "My hair is thin and dull, I have horrible morning sickness, I'm getting rashes, mood swings, my left breast is bigger than my right one, I'm sleeping mostly on my right side, my piss is dull yellow and there is a dramatic freaking change in the size of my boobs!"

"That I can confirm." Chaz smirked, pinching her side. Ryan and Alexia both laughed loudly.

"How are those indications that you're having a girl?" Alexia questioned in amusement.

"More importantly, what colour piss does a pregnant woman have when she's carrying a boy?" Ryan arched his brow and he looked pretty interested, but Chaz saw right through him and shoved his shoulder as he barked out a laugh.

Chloe huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You're immature. Both of you. Now," she looked at Alexia and smiled sweetly, "Your question I can answer. I've been reading a shitload of books and blogs and they're all saying the same. I just haven't done the garlic test yet but I mean... I'm having all the symptoms of carrying a girl!"

Chaz rolled his eyes.

"Besides," she added, glaring at Chaz, "It feels like a girl. I can't explain it... I just feel like it's a girl."

Alexia smiled and crawled forward on the grass to press a chaste kiss on Chloe's cheek. "If you say it's a girl, then it's a girl babe."

"Hey! What about me? I say it's a boy!" Chaz deadpanned, throwing his hands up the air. Alexia snorted and shook her head, "Hit me up when you've done the same amount of research she's done."

"I know how to change a diaper, FYI."

-

Ryan and Chaz awkwardly excused themselves a few hours later. Alexia didn't understand their worried looks until they'd rambled that they were going to the hospital to visit Jason.

"It's fine, I'm fine." She grumbled, shrugging like she didn't care.

They looked at her in concern, both giving her tight hugs and soothing words. "It'll be okay, Lex. I'm sorry." Ryan whispered into her ear before kissing her forehead. She shrugged again, already moving on to hug Chaz. The tear that had slipped out didn't go unnoticed by any of her friends.

"I'll stay, babe." Chloe chirped, wrapping her arm around Alexia's waist. "We can have a girl's night and watch movies and get fat!"

Alexia smiled sadly. "I'd love to, but Damian's expecting me to be home for dinner."

Everyone froze.

"Don't say anything." She urged, "I'm doing this for Jason and you guys know that. Please don't say anything. It's bad enough that I have to deal with that psychotic son of a bitch all day."

Chloe nodded, kissing Alexia's cheek. "We know, sweetie. We know."

"If it wasn't for you," Chaz murmured gloomily, "We wouldn't have our best friend right now."

Alexia nodded, the tears already pooling in her eyes. God, since when did she turn into such an emotional cry-baby? She had to keep it together, for fuck's sake.

"I just miss him." She whimpered, laying her head on Chloe's shoulder. Chloe nodded and softly brushed her tears away, whispering a variety of dulcifying words. She kept Alexia tightly tucked in her arms.

Ryan and Chaz looked helpless as they stood on the grass, their eyes mournful and their mouths turned upside down. They obviously wanted to help, they just didn't know how.

"Why don't you visit him? Just for the last time?" Chaz opted, a flicker of hope glimmering in his eyes.

Everyone sharply turned to look at him.

"What?" his shoulders slumped, "It was just an idea."

"I can't do that, Chaz." Alexia swallowed a sob and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, "I can't risk Damian finding out. I can't risk Jason's life, not again."

"Just stop talking, Chaz. You're upsetting her even more." Chloe snapped, tightening her grip around her best friend. Just the thought of having to endure what Alexia had to, killed her.

"I'm sorry, Lex." Chaz paled.

"It's not your fault." Alexia quickly murmured, trying to smile. Ryan and Chaz both returned the smile.

"Now go! You don't want to keep him waiting!" she ordered.

They left after another awkward set of goodbye's. Chloe kept apologizing for Chaz' behaviour and that actually made Alexia giggle as she convinced Chloe that he'd done nothing wrong. Poor Chaz only made a suggestion.

"He's just insensitive." Chloe finished with a shrug, playing with the tassels on her bag. Alexia shook her head, a playful grin curling her lips. "Chlo, that's ridiculous. He didn't say anything wrong! Your pregnancy hormones are acting up."

She sighed deeply. "I have been really rude to him, I admit. It's just... I don't know. I think I'll have to suck his dick tonight to make it up to him."

"Chlo..."

"That's a good idea, right?"

"He'll definitely forgive you for your mood swings."

They both snickered and Chloe hurriedly changed the subject.

They were miles deep into a conversation about finals when it all started to go downhill. Chloe had been occasionally panting as she spoke, shifting her weight and repositioning herself until Alexia couldn't take her fidgeting anymore. "Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Chloe winced and crossed her legs underneath her butt, "What do you mean?"

"Honey," Alexia scrunched her face up in concern, suddenly sensing that something was wrong. "Are you in pain?"

"N-no, why?" But Chloe winced again and let out a low hiss, her eyes glossing with tears. Alexia quickly closed the distance between her and Chloe, carefully wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "Hey, look at me. What's going on?"

Chloe just shook her head, "Nothing."

"Chloe, come on. I'm not fucking stupid."

Chloe drew in a sharp breath, rapidly blinking to get rid of the tears. "M-my stomach," she breathed, "It's hurting me. I've had cramps before, but this is different."

She moaned, one out of misery, and went on all fours, pushing herself up so she could stand up straight.

Alexia saw it right away.

The back of Chloe's shorts were drenched in blood, covering her entire lower area. A rush of terror jolted through Alexia as she jumped up as well and wrapped her arm around Chloe's middle for support. "Chloe, babe, don't freak out, but I'm taking you to the hospital."

She pulled Chloe to her car and although she'd just told Chloe not to freak out, she was very much doing so herself. Suddenly the thought of Chloe losing her and Chaz' lovechild polished off any hints of happiness left in Alexia. They deserved to have this baby. They could not lose her. Or him. Whatever.

"What? Why?" Chloe flinched as she laid all of her weight on Alexia while they slowly made their way to the parking lot.

"You're bleeding, but seriously don't freak out." Alexia unlocked her car and helped her climb inside, quickly hurrying to the driver's seat.

"I'm bleeding? Oh God, Oh God." Chloe started fanning herself, tears rolling down her cheeks as she kept yelling, "I can't lose her! I can't lose her!"

Alexia started the car and revved up the engine, pushing her foot against the accelerator as they sped forwards. She kept her gaze fixated on the road, scared for any accident she may cause.

"Calm down, Chlo." She tried, though she knew it was in vain. How could she if she knew her baby could be in danger?

"I can't! I'm fucking freaking out, alright!" Chloe's face reddened, her mascara streaking her cheeks. Alexia took deep breaths, avoiding any cars in sight. "You'll make it worse if you continue to go apeshit! Calm down!"

Chloe whimpered, her shoulders shrugging along as she bawled. "He'll hate me. I'll hate me. I can't lose her. I can't lose her."

That broke Alexia's heart. She swallowed and angrily hastened their pace, knowing that she was being dangerous.

"You won't lose her." She snapped in determination, "Not on my fucking watch."

They arrived at the hospital in four minutes precisely. Alexia parked—admittedly askew—and rushed to Chloe's side, helping her with getting out of the car. Chloe was still freaking out as she already stumbled over to the entrance of the building. Alexia took a quick look at her car seat, which had a big red stain on it, and then slapped the car door shut, not bothering to lock it.

She swiftly made it to Chloe's side and started calling for doctors the second they'd walked in. "Please! Someone help! She's having a miscarriage!"

Chloe winced again, her head dropping into her hands. Fortunately, a doctor (or a nurse, who cared?) appeared with a wheelchair and pushed Chloe on it, already running towards the elevator. Alexia dashed after them, her heart pounding so loud she was certain everyone in the hospital could hear her.

Chloe turned around in her wheelchair and eyed Alexia with big, bloodshot eyes. "Chaz! I need Chaz! I'm sorry Lex, please get me Chaz!" the elevator doors closed and Chloe disappeared.

Alexia was stunned for a mere second, not understanding why Chloe had apologized, until it hit her. Chaz and Ryan were with Jason.

She'd have to see Jason.

Fuck.

-

Something was really funny. The laughter coming from inside the room had been going on forever, hitting Alexia straight in the heart.

It was uncanny delightful to hear Jason laugh like that. It had been a while since he had expressed his happiness and Alexia was thrilled. At least one—keeping the murderous Latino off his back aside—thing was good about him forgetting; he had no worries. His laugh was deep and husky and sincere.

"I can't do this." Alexia proceeded to pace in front of the door, tugging at her hair. Her heart was burning with the desire to go inside but her mind kept telling her how stupid it was. She wasn't cutting off all contact with him for nothing!

But she couldn't quit pining for him.

"Nervous?" a gentle voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked up and immediately met a nurse's face, who smiled at her sweetly. Alexia cleared her throat awkwardly, "Something like that."

The nurse nodded knowingly. "I get like that all the time. Especially with one particular patient," she blushed and shook her head as if shaking the memories away. "He's in this room, actually. I'm just about to feed him." She cocked her head to the right side, referring to Jason's room.

Alexia's face instantly hardened. "You're his nurse?"

"Yeah."

She frowned and studied the girl, uncertain of what she meant by 'especially with one particular patient'. Jason was a beautiful and worldly man, everyone knew this. Was this nurse crushing on him?

"Is he a pain in the ass?" Alexia tried, raising her eyebrows ever so slightly. The nurse reddened again. "A pain in the ass... something like that."

Alexia felt the hollow feeling in her stomach stretch out, anger vibrating all throughout her body. She knew she had no rights, but it was impossible to hear another woman speak about Jason like that without her not caring. She could recognize a bitch in heat from afar, Jason clearly had this lady wrapped around his stupid finger.

"Well let's go inside, shall we?" she smiled at the nurse. The nurse nodded, returning the smile without realizing the dangerous territory she'd just entered.

The nurse opened the door and quietly walked in, Alexia hot on her heels.

"Jase? It's dinnertime."

Jase? Was she trying to get beat up?

Jason groaned, "Babe!"

It was like a stab in the heart. Alexia took a deep breath and grit her teeth, exterminating the depressed thoughts that had surfaced in her mind.

Jason looked better than the last time she saw him. He was still in that damned bed, but his face was full with colour and his eyes were bright and twinkly. A big wave of nostalgia hit her as she watched him nag, his nose scrunching up and his arms crossing in front of his chest.

She wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out of it.

It felt like a spirit kept pulling her body, forcing her to go over there and touch him.

No, she sternly scolded herself, you're here for one reason and one reason only.

She cleared her throat and yanked her eyes off Jason, "Chaz."

The three of them looked up in surprise, the nurse eyeing her with a weird gaze. Jason's mouth gaped and his eyes widened.

Alexia kept her eyes on Chaz. "Chaz," she repeated, "Something happened, Chloe needs you."

He was off his chair in a flash. "What happened? Is she okay?" apprehension crossed his face as he jaunted over to her, his eyebrows furrowing. Alexia took another deep breath, "She was bleeding and I rushed her here. She needs you, Chaz."

For a second, he stood still in front of her, and then suddenly he was gone. She could hear the faint footsteps of someone running through the hallways.

"She's not miscarrying, is she?" Ryan's words were laced with worry. Alexia shook her head and whispered, "I don't know."

"Fuck."

"Fuck is right."

It was silent.

"Alexia." The voice was Jason's. Alexia swallowed the mixture of feelings, forcing herself to not even peek at him.

"Jason."

It was silent again.

"You left again." His voice was sad. Alexia's heart skipped a beat.

"I have my reasons."

"Bullshit."

"How do you know it's bullshit?"

"You won't even fucking look at me." He hissed gutturally, causing prickles to perk up her skin. That's not the reason you idiot. If I look at you, I probably won't have the strength to walk out that door again.

Alexia stayed quiet and stared at the ground. What was she still doing here? She'd done her job. She was ready to go.

"What even happened to you?"

"What do you mean?" she frowned.

Jason snorted, "You're not even arguing with me! What happened to annoying, bitchy Alexia?"

Damian fucked it all out of her, she wanted to say, but she kept her mouth shut.

Another silence.

"Can you at least talk? You owe me." The amount of emotions he'd said those words with were enough to cause shivers up her spine, her body reeling with longing.

"I know I owe you," she mumbled, "That's why I'm doing what I'm doing."

"Which is appearing once in the three years to fuck up my head, give me empty promises only to leave me again? Wow, I must say, I'm impressed. You've really matured."

Now Alexia looked up, her body heating up with anger. She made the mistake of looking at him and boy, she was shaking, both in madness and utter need.

"You don't know shit," she spat, "You don't fucking know shit, Jason. I'm saving your ass here."

Shouldn't have said that.

"Are you, now?" He chuckled bitterly, licking his lips. Alexia narrowed her eyes.

He looked at her one last time before averting his gaze, fixating it on the nurse. "Stella, I'm ready for you to feed me now."

"Nu—"

"I know it's Nurse Stella, God, you're fucking annoying too." Jason puffed out a breath and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes unwillingly flickering from the nurse to Alexia.

Alexia just took him in. He was alive and well, snarling comments at women like he usually did. She knew he felt the same longing she felt—she could see it. As badass as he tried to appear, his eyes couldn't leave her.

The nurse whimpered. Alexia was about to slap her.

"The scars on your face healed." Alexia commented, scrutinizing his face. There were three deep lines permanently drawn on his skin, but they just made him look hot. Jason looked surprised that she'd said anything and slowly nodded, his eyebrows arching. "I know."

"How are you?" she'd been dying to ask this question for nearly two weeks now.

Jason stayed silent. The only sound came from his heart monitor, which started to quicken. Everyone picked it up—Jason included. Alexia chuckled, grateful she still had that effect on him and Jason just mumbled an embarrassed "The thing's been acting up for a while now."

"But to answer your question," he spoke, eager to change the subject, "I've been doing amazing. No thanks to you."

Alexia watched him, trying to find an indication that he had been lying but when she realized he was stating the truth she smiled and forgot the last part of his answer. If Jason was happy, then she was happy. "I'm glad to hear that."

Jason looked taken aback. He'd clearly expected another reply.

The nurse's gaze flickered from Alexia to Jason in an repeated motion, her brows knit together in confusion. Jason groaned and averted his gaze from Alexia, glaring at the nurse. "Stop it. You're irritating me."

"I'm s-sorry—"

"Will you just leave already?" he snapped incredulously. The nurse shakily put down his tray with food and sucked in her lower lip as she waltzed out of the room, her head down.

"Great." He hissed, "Now I can't eat."

Ryan rolled his eyes, "You were the one that sent her away!"

"She was annoying!"

Ryan shook his head. Jason frowned and glanced at Alexia, "She was annoying, right?"

Alexia looked at Ryan with an apologetic expression, the edge of her lips curling upwards. "She was pretty annoying, Ry."

Jason grinned at Alexia with warm eyes. She hastily looked away, her heart nearly swelling. Ryan huffed, "I'd almost forgotten how much you guys like to have each other's backs."

Jason's grin faltered. "What do you mean?"

"Like, in high school." Ryan quickly babbled, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. Jason didn't look satisfied with the answer but let it go, slumping further into the bed.

"Are you tired?" Alexia asked. Jason gave her a short nod, "But I still have to eat before I sleep. Doctor's orders."

Ryan got off his chair and walked over to the window, closing the curtains. Once he finished doing that, he made his way to the door opening—where Alexia was still standing—and pulled her inside. "You do it. There's no way in hell I'm going to feed him, no one can stand him but you."

"Why'd you close the curtains?" Jason shot. Ryan looked at Alexia as he spoke, "So no one can see you. I'll be outside. If anyone comes, I'll let you know." And with that, he stepped out of the room and closed the door after him.

Alexia kept standing by the door in astonishment, her heart lurching in her throat. Was she really going to do this?

"Come on, then. I'm starving."

Yeah, she was.

She sauntered over to his hospital bed and sat down on a chair, carefully putting the tray on her lap. Her gaze fell on the plastic cups and she tried to make out the contents, but somehow she didn't recognize the mushy porridge and the green jelly.

"What the hell are they feeding you?" she questioned out loud, scraping some of it up on her spoon.

"I don't know. It's gross." She looked up and put the spoon in front of his mouth, shamelessly raking the rest of him with her eyes. Jason unmistakably did the same, his gaze never leaving her as he enveloped the spoon with his mouth. Alexia suppressed the urge to moan. Those lips.

"I can imagine." She muttered, scraping up more food after he swallowed. Jason obediently ate everything she gave him. Alexia was fully aware of how the side of his hand faintly touched her own. She knew he was doing it on purpose, and to be quite honest, she didn't mind. She needed his touch just as much as he needed hers.

Jason rapidly chewed his bite and swallowed it, disorientation crossing his face. "I just don't get it, why are you running away from me?"

Alexia shrugged and pushed the spoon into his mouth to make sure he couldn't speak. Jason swallowed it whole, "You can tell me."

The upsetting part was that she couldn't. She trusted him with her dear life, and she was certain that if it was something else she would've told him, but not this. Not when the entire point of this was keeping him safe. She wished she could, but she couldn't.

"I can't." She responded, staring at the tray. Jason stretched out his fingers to curl them around her hand. Alexia smiled meekly, looking up again.

"Does it have to do with you kissing me while your husband was standing in the door opening?" Jason cocked his head to the side. Alexia snickered. If only.

"He's not my husband. Fiancé."

"You're still not married? It's been three years!"

"We wanted to... wait." She vaguely remembered them having the same conversation, only then she'd told him that she loved Damian. Whatever kind of game they were playing, she sure as hell wouldn't tell him that now.

Jason nodded, though he still looked confused. "So... when's the wedding?"

"In three months, August." Alexia pressed her tongue against the insides of her cheeks, a wave of distaste hitting her. Jason nodded again, clearly distraught. "Well... fiancé or husband, you still kissed me." He was quiet for a mere second, "I'm going to kiss you now."

And then they kissed.

-

a/n: I don't know why but this turned out to be so shitty! As many times as I edited and tried to rewrite it, it just sucked so I left it this way. Hopefully you still enjoyed it. Vote and comment cuties!