1. Tattoo: Alexia. Why?

2. Fire: someone else was there. Who?

3. Princess: creepy man claiming he knows I call Alexia that. Who/Why?

Jason sighed and put his pen down, staring at the yellow sticky note. His handwriting had gone south, his words barely readable. Stella said he just needed to practice, his hands had gone without writing for too long. She'd tried to boost his ego by acting like she knew what he'd scribbled down, but truth to be told, he doubted anyone would.

To him, his letters looked just like caws, far-stretched attempts to curl the question marks and write an 'e'. But at least he knew what he'd written down, and that's all that mattered. He promised Alexia four days ago that he'd find out what he'd forgotten, and although she wasn't happy with the idea, he would still pursue. He hadn't gotten much significant memories back—tons of flashes were mainly about times that he'd gotten drunk with Chaz and Ryan. Or the beach. Somehow the beach kept popping up in his mind.

It wasn't just any beach either, it was graceful and the water was a deep blue. Most of the memories about the beach were just that, the beach, but then he'd swear that he'd hear Alexia's laughs through them. And just like that, the flashes would be gone.

Should he write the beaches down? He didn't know. It didn't seem important, not as important as the other three things.

Hesitantly, Jason grabbed the pen again and uncomfortably started writing.

4. Beach: who/when?

Someone clapping their hand snapped him out of his thoughts. Jason looked up, his eyes meeting Stella's. She was dressed in her nurse attire—as always—and had a fake smile plastered on her face. Jason sighed, folding the note and hiding it in his jean's pocket.

Yeah. Jeans. It was Sunday and Jason was being released today. His mom had brought him some clothes to change into and was running around all morning, trying to set everything for his return home. Jason thought it was cute and let his mom do her thing. He was irrationally excited for his release; he was done with the white walls and the disgusting food. Doctor Malone promised him he'd check up on him and provided him with all of his medicines, along with the details of his appointments with the rehabilitation clinic.

He'd go to his parent's house this week and stay there until it was Monday again. Then, he'd leave for college. They had an appointment with the headmaster so they could speak about Jason and how they were going to handle his situation, but he already knew. He'd have to redo the year, clearly.

"Don't give me that look, Stella. You knew I wouldn't be your patient forever." No emotions crossed his face whatsoever. He thought Stella was nice, and that was basically it. Leaving her was easy for him to do. Besides, Stella was just Alexia's replacement.

"I'm just sad to see you go." She murmured, her shoulders slumping. "I don't want you to go."

"I can't stay sick for life."

"No." she spoke, "That's true. I've just never really connected with a man the way I connected to you. I know you feel it too, Jase. We're... different."

Certainly. Jason had had sex uncountable times, but never had he imagined that he'd get fucked in the hospital by his nurse, days after waking up from a coma. He sighed again, disappointed that she'd thought more of their stupid affair. Whatever she felt, he didn't feel the same.

"Don't." he simply said. Stella cringed, "Why? You knew about my feelings all along. You knew I love you."

Love. She'd gone that far. Jason shut his eyes and pressed his fingers against his temple, contemplating what he should do. "You knew about my feelings all along, too. I just wanted to fuck, Stella."

"But we had fun times."

"Sure. I have fun times with my grandma too. I don't love you. You know who I love."

Her brows furrowed exasperatedly, "Alexia? The girl hasn't visited you in four days, Jason! I don't know how you even call that love. If she loved you, she would've been here every day. I know I was."

"You're my fucking nurse." He hissed, "And you don't know me and Alexia. We go way back, and there's a reason she can't visit me. It's not in her power."

"Oh yeah? What's the reason?"

He didn't know. He believed Alexia when she said something was keeping her, and his most logical answer was her fiancé, but nothing had been confirmed.

"That's what I thought." Stella spat, "She hasn't told you. Maybe you should reconsider." And with that, Stella spun on her heels and walked out of Jason's hospital room.

He wasn't fazed. Stella's words meant nothing to him, just like she was nothing other than someone to still his boredom. For a short second, he stared at the empty spot in front of the door opening and then shrugged it off, going back to thinking about his list.

Moments later, his parents entered the room with big grins.

"Ready to go home?" Jeremy smiled. Jason mimicked his father's smile, "Hell yes."

-

At first, nothing happened. The car ride was all laughs and joy, a chipper vibe controlling the mood. Jason was over the moon and his parents seemed to feel the same as they spoke about things like groceries and Jazzy's grades—and Jason loved it. It was almost refreshing.

Things went downhill as soon as Jason stepped out of the car and onto the curb in front of his parent's house. It was like a thunderbolt struck him right in the brains, a piercing pain eloping.

It was raining. Big, fat, moist raindrops fell from the sky.

Jason's breathing hitched, stopping midst his tracks while shutting his eyes, desperately trying to grasp more of the memory. He was feeling awfully guilty in the memory. Why? He had to know.

He just wanted his life to go back to normal. Perhaps it was already impossible for his life to go back to the way it was, but that didn't mean that Alexia had to deteriorate as well. As she was puking all of her insides out days ago, Jason promised himself that he would do whatever it would take to stay away from her.

His clothes were entirely soaked, he was entirely soaked. His hair was plastered flat against his forehead, raindrops streaming down his face. Jason was shuddering, but not only because of the wetness seeping into his skin. It was mainly because of what he was about to do.

The house in front of him brought back so many nostalgic feelings he felt like he had to sit down to process it all. Despite the fact that it has only been a month since he's been home, it felt like ages.

He listened, but the house was noiseless. Which seemed weird—considering the fact that there was a five and a seven years old inside.

The thought of seeing his little brother and sister again excited him in spite of everything that had been going on. Although his stomach rolled into a tight, painful knot and his pulse fastened, he still knocked on the door. Without even as much as a warning, the door directly opened.

Seeing his father ripped the air completely from Jason's lungs and he fought the urge to both laugh and cry uncontrollably. Jeremy looked... okay. He looked tired, exhausted even, but the gratified expression on his face overpowered all of that.

"Jason," he breathed, his eyes wide but his smile wider. Jason nodded restlessly, his heart thumping against his chest rapidly. It had been a month.

"What are you waiting for, son? Come here!" Jeremy proclaimed, impatiently, opening his arms. Jason exhaled deeply, stepping inside the house. The recognizable smell of fresh baked pie and just home in general prickled him, and he couldn't suppress the smile on his face as he pulled his father into the long expected embrace.

Jeremy kept his arms around his son tightly, and Jason, as grown-up as he was, hoped his father wouldn't let him go anytime soon.

After a few moments, Jeremy let Jason go and he quickly walked past him to close the door. "The floor here is getting wet from the rain," he explained, never losing the genuine beam on his face.

"Jason? Honey, are you okay?" Pattie's voice was thick with concern as she wrapped her arms around his broad figure, her eyebrows knit together. Jason nodded stoically, replaying the memory in his head over and over again. He hadn't been home in a while, and he had been feeling guilty for something at the time. He'd wanted his life to go back to normal. What had happened? Jason's head was spinning endlessly, a faint headache threatening to come up.

"Let's go inside, sweetheart. You look pale." She softly tugged him towards the lawn, up the brick steps to the front door. He ignored his parent's worried glances, reliving the memory as many times as he could so he wouldn't forget. He needed to update the list.

Inside, he took his time. He scanned every wall, every corner. It felt good to be home. Quite frankly, he'd missed living at his parent's house. Weird.

Then, as he stepped into the living room, another thunderbolt crashed into his brain. Flashes of the fire took him over, the flames, the heat, the fear... his heart skipped a beat, the faint voice screaming his name and his own voice soothing the person echoing through his ears. Out. He needed out of the living room.

Turning around, Jason staggered away from the living room, hurriedly making his way to the kitchen. A breath of relief escaped his lips when he noticed the familiar beige kitchen, plopping down on a chair with his head in his hands.

"Jason?" his dad pulled out another chair and sat by Jason's side. Jason steadied his breathing before looking up, "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"I am fine." He urged. He thought about telling his dad that he'd remembered that one time, but then realized that he better shouldn't. Alexia had already admitted to him that everyone around him was lying, so expecting a solid answer from his dad wasn't on his mind. "I'm just getting all of these memories back and it's a tad overwhelming."

"Memories that make you hyperventilate?"

"The fire. I keep reliving the fire, and it happened again when I entered the living room."

Jeremy frowned and nodded. "I guess that's normal, since it happened right here. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, dad." He wasn't, but he wasn't about to tell anyone. Pattie walked in after a short while too, claiming that he needed to be spoiled. Jason just shook all of the weird memories away and focused on spending time with his parents, joking around with his dad whilst his mom cooked dinner.

He felt great. Weird flashbacks aside—Jason was truly rejoicing in the time he'd been back home. He didn't know why, but he was eager. It was like every joke his father said seemed a hundred times funnier than if he'd told him the joke before the accident. His mom went crazy, cooking every damn recipe she could muster. Jason just laughed and thanked his mom, promising her that he'd eat everything till the last bit of rice.

Jazzy and Jaxon joined them for dinner. They were ecstatic to see Jason back home, making him promise a million things. Should we go shopping, Jason? Can we go to the park? I want to go to the movies! Do you want to go picnicking with me? Can you pick me up from school tomorrow? Let's play Xbox together!

Jason said yes to everything but postponed it all to tomorrow. He was tired. After he'd had a long shower, he slowly changed into his pyjamas, glad to see his room hadn't changed. He went back downstairs, admittedly frightened. The sounds of the television were loud and he was certain that they were all watching a movie together in the living room, and he really wanted to join them. In fact, he kicked all of his uncertainties to the curb and squeezed himself in between his mom and Jazzy on the couch.

And fortunately for Jason, nothing happened. Apparently all he'd had to do was face the living room one time, and everything was dandy now. Jazzy snuggled up to him, her eyes glued to the television and her little arms wrapped around his chest. Jason kissed the top of her head lovingly, sheathing his other arm around his mom's shoulders.

Jeremy and Jaxon sat on the floor. "Ew! Kissies are for girls!" Jaxon screeched, sticking out his tongue. Jeremy, Jason and Pattie all laughed. "They are." Jeremy pulled his son on his lap, "Good thing we're not giving each other kissies."

"Yeah!"

Jeremy held Jaxon tight as he showered him with kisses all over his body.

Everyone laughed this time, Jazzy included.

After the movie, the kids were put to bed. Jason manually did so, tucking them in and giving them 'kissies'. His heart throbbed affectively for his siblings, and he wanted them to know. When they were asleep he went back downstairs.

His father had pulled out a beer to celebrate, but since alcohol didn't mix well with Jason's medicines, he just drank a coke. His mom had her own glass of wine and they clinked their glasses together, all three taking a big gulp.

"This feels like old times." Jeremy beamed. Jason smiled, too. Yeah, it did feel like old times.

He was feeling undeniably happy.

They went to bed at 11 o'clock. Jason took his pills and immediately passed out under his sheets, a satisfied grin gracing his lips. He slept like he hadn't in weeks that night. The good part was that there were no nightmares and no taunting memories to disturb his hibernation.

Things were good. Really good.

-

He had an appointment with the college's headmaster that next morning. Jason woke up in a good mood and kissed everyone goodbye as they all went their separate ways; work and school.

Though driving a car wasn't recommended, Jason did it anyway. He felt sane and healthy enough and had missed his car immensely.

Campus was packed. Jason slipped through the hordes of people and although he'd expected little attention because he'd been in the hospital for quite a few weeks, that was certainly not the case. People openly gaped at him, eyes wide and mouths parted. He chuckled smugly, winking at a couple of girls while he continued making his way to the headmaster's office.

He could already hear everyone's whispering. "Oh my Gosh, he's back!" "Where do you think he's been?" "He looks so sexy!" "Did you see the scars on his face? Fuck, that's really hot."

Jason loved the reactions he got out of the girls. He felt exhilarated as they all refrained themselves from kissing his feet. His eyes were searching for one person in general though, and that was Alexia. In all honesty, Jason couldn't wait to see her again. Even if all they did was talk—he was game.

The headmaster called him in as soon as Jason reached his office. Headmaster Gilbert (as said on his door) welcomed him with a firm handshake and a wide grin. Jason returned the gesture and sat down on the given chair across the desk. He was slightly nervous, albeit he was already aware of what Gilbert would tell him.

"So, Jason. Quite a year you've had, huh?" he tried to crack a joke. Jason nodded out of politeness. He didn't understand why Gilbert had said 'a year', he wasn't gone that long.

Headmaster Gilbert licked his lips, entwining his hands on top of the desk. "We're here to discuss your school situation. I'll just get down to it, this shouldn't be a surprise, but we feel that you've missed too many lectures to pass your finals. Of course, if you believe differently we won't have to set you back a year next year."

Jason shook his head, "No, I get it. I'm fine with redoing this year."

"Great. It's great you understand. With you being missing for so long it would've been a miracle to see you pass—"

"I've only been in the hospital for a couple of weeks." He murmured, unsurely. He'd assumed that he'd redo the year because of his memory loss, not because of his absence.

Headmaster Gilbert raised his eyebrows, his head cocking to the side. "No," he elaborated, "You've been officially missing since January/February. I'm not sure. We were told you had some memory loss, but we didn't know it went that far back." He smiled apologetically.

February? This was a fucking joke, wasn't it? Why on earth would Jason stop going to college when he paid for it out of his own pocket? With loans, but still, he would never in a million years do something as stupid as not turning up. At least not over a time span of freaking months.

"What do you mean with 'missing'?" Jason frowned.

"Missing. You didn't attend any lectures or courses, no one had seen you around, your parents were clueless... you were gone. No one knew where you were."

Jason was absolutely shocked, his lips parting and his eyes widening. No one knew where he was? Not even his parents? Not even Ryan and Chaz? This was getting creepier with every second.

"You don't remember anything?"

"Nothing."

"What a shame."

There was an awkward silence. Jason's mind kept spinning at a fast rate, trying to wrap his head around all of this. He was gone from the beginning of the year till... well... now. No one knew where he'd been until he showed up at the hospital, which explained why Jazzy and Jaxon had told him that he was never around. Which also explained why every single person he knew practically beamed whenever they visited him. Which explained why his mom still cried, and why his father had said that it had been too long.

An unknown, eerie feeling washed over him. His throat closed, his eyebrows furrowing even more.

"I didn't mean to confuse you. I'm sorry." Gilbert looked truly sorry. Jason waved a hand, "It's okay. Things just confuse me these days."

After he was dismissed, he wandered through the hallways of his dormitory until he'd found his' and Chaz' room. He tried to make connections in his head. Obviously he'd visited his parents' house while being away, that memory was burned in his mind. What did this have to do with the fire, the tattoo and the damned beach? Was there even a connection?

Why was he gone?

Where was he?

He absentmindedly opened the door, his gaze immediately flickering to the four people in the room. Chaz was sprawled on his bed, a satisfied smile curling his lips. Chloe's head was on his chest and their legs were intertwined. Ryan was sat in the opposite of the room and Alexia had her back pressed against the wall. She appeared to be just leaving.

They all looked up to see who walked in. As soon as they realized it was Jason, they broke out into fits of beams.

But Jason only had eyes for Alexia. She wore a loose summer dress and had her hair up in a bun, showcasing her enticing neck area. All he wanted to do was push her to the ground and lick, suck and bite the hell out of that perfect skin of hers.

"Man," Chaz spoke, "It's so weird seeing you here!"

Jason shrugged, plopping down on his bed next to Ryan. Alexia hesitated before waltzing over to the door, "I have to go." She stammered.

"Why? Because I came?" Jason glared at her in annoyance. Alexia narrowed her eyes and shot a sharp "Yes" his way, exiting the room and slamming the door after her.

"She's always so happy to see me." He ranted sarcastically.

Ryan sighed, "She has her reasons."

"Don't start with me." He didn't want to hear any more about Alexia and her fucking 'reasons'. The conversation with Gilbert dunked his mood three feet into the ground, and he was ready to fight anyone who insinuated it.

"Your talk didn't go well?" Chaz raised his eyebrows. Jason looked at him, "Oh, it went fucking dandy. I'm not graduating college next year and also, I found out that I've been gone for at least three months before I ended up in the hospital."

Chaz averted his gaze—as expected—and Ryan nervously sucked in his lips, fiddling with his fingers. God, Jason really wanted to punch someone.

"You guys know where I was." He gruffly snapped, "I'm pretty sure you know. Out of everyone, you should know."

They stayed quiet.

Jason was certain that Ryan and Chaz knew where Jason had been. He would never go anywhere without telling his best friends. He would never leave them clueless and worried. They knew. They had to.

"Come on!" he growled, jumping off the bed.

"Jase...let it go." Ryan tried, "It's not worth it. I swear."

But Jason wasn't going to let it go. He was terribly confused about everyone's secrecy—including his parents—and it just increased his headaches. The memory loss was shit, but everyone made it ten times worse. All he does all day is try and grasp a memory, but it all just slipped through his fingers. It was his life, didn't he deserve to know? Actually, fuck that. He definitely deserved to fucking know.

"I swear to God," he roared angrily, "If you don't tell me I will never speak to you again. You're killing me here, guys! I know nothing about my own fucking life!"

Ryan only shook his head again.

Then, Jason remembered a conversation he'd had with his best friend back in the hospital.

He had been worried at the time, curious about where they'd gone on spring break. Ryan's reply was, "You went to Mexico. We didn't."

Mexico. Spring break was in April, which meant that he was still 'missing' during that time. Mexico. Perhaps, that's why he kept seeing beaches in his head.

"You know what?" he hissed, "I don't need your help. I don't need any of you. I'll find out myself."

He was determined to do so.