Heya! Hope you are safe and doing well. First of all happy Varmahalakshmi festival to all the readers who celebrate it. Second, due to some circumstances, I had this half-written chapter in the draft for a month. But, I decided to complete it and here's it. Do let me know your thoughts about it.

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15th December, 2002. . .

"Anu, get up," Mummy called. I found it difficult to open my eyes. Usually, I would be up by the time Mummy would call. But not today. Yesterday somewhere in the middle of the night, my sleep got disturbed. Groggily, I sat up, my eyes still closed. If I remember correctly, it was because Mummy screamed in the night. When I opened my eyes, I saw her holding her neck. Ammamma and Arun Mama came running. They said it was after-effects of the operation. She said she felt someone had slit opened her neck and placed it aside. Not that I understood much but yes, I slept late. The best part was that Daddy had to recite another bedtime story!

Suddenly, I heard the birds chirping. Am I late for school? Mummy gave her huge grin and hugged me. My parents screamed, "Happy birthday, Anu!"

"Thank you!" I screamed with equal excitement. Oh! So today is my birthday! The day I get to eat chocolates! That's when it struck to me that a few days ago, we had gone for shopping for my birthday dress. It means I will be wearing my pink dress today! Probably, the excitement for dress was so high that I didn't make a fuss today for getting dressed for the school today.

Surprisingly, the dining table had a sweet today – my favourite semiyan payasam. I think to make sure I don't drop any food, Mummy and Ammamma both tied bibs around my neck. Today, I had the feeling that nothing would go wrong. It's my birthday after all. Though Arun Mama had explained, I still didn't get what birthday actually meant.

I was dropped to school by Daddy. No sooner did he left than I felt sudden nervousness. I meant every other person was staring at me, both children and their parents. I don't think I had ever expected to garner such massive attention. Keeping my head low, I walked slowly when I heard a familiar voice, "Anika!"

I turned and saw Lakshmi waving at me. She screamed, "Happy birthday Anika!"

Shyly, I replied, "Thank you!"

Lakshmi was not always in my class. She said she was a tran-tran-transfer student. Even this Arun Mama had explained but I still didn't understand yet. I think Mummy is right, Arun Mama explains everything using hard words. Coming back to Lakshmi, she instantly became friends with me. It felt good because she was actually my first proper friend. Since, we would talk a lot, we were supposed to sit in adjacent rows.

Ever since my class teacher started picking on me, I guess number of students who interacted with me reduced. But Lakshmi didn't care about. We both would eat our lunches together, play together and talk a lot. But before Lakshmi joined, I thought I understood why my class teacher was picking on me – she would always catch me talking in the class. So, I made a dec-dec-decision to talk only during lunch break.

Today, everyone wished me and some of them said that I was looking good. I was feeling extremely happy. The class was going on as usual. That's when I saw Lakshmi's eraser falling down and rolling to the next bench. She was frantically searching for her eraser but she couldn't find it. Neither did her bench mate gave her eraser. I offered mine but she wanted hers. She was nearly in tears.

That's when I remembered – it was an eraser gifted to her by her father. Her father wouldn't stay with them, he used to work in abroad. Mummy had explained, it meant she would see her father lesser times than I would see Daddy. Knowing how much it meant to her, I got up from my seat and picked it up for her.

As I was about to sit on my bench, I felt a big slap on my back. Looks like I got hit this time. I am sure that lady was talking something but I didn't care. All this time, I endured but I felt something inside me. I felt like she had no right to ruin my happiness. I guess that's what anger meant.

It's not like no one in the class has ever got up to take something. I was definitely not the first one. Yet, I felt like I was being targeted. That's when I felt hot stream of tears on my cheeks. So, I am crying. I am crying when I am outside my house. I usually don't cry when I am outside the house because I can't cope up with those weird stares. That's when Lakshmi kept her palm on my shoulder and said, "Please don't cry Anika."

I slowly stopped sobbing but one thing puzzled me – why is the class teacher ignoring Lakshmi standing next to me? Isn't it this wrong? The teacher came and whispered slowly, "Lakshmi, why don't you go and sit in your bench? You can discuss it with Anika later."

She can speak normally! This teacher knows how to speak normally! Why doesn't she speak like that to me? In the lunch break, Lakshmi came and sat next to me. She said, "Are you okay?"

I nodded. I am not okay. I don't like that teacher likes you and not me. I am a bad girl to think about my friend like this. She suggested, "You finish lunch, we distribute chocolates together."

I nodded again. Quietly, I finished eating my lunch. While fishing out the chocolates cover from my bag, I started feeling my energy draining out. It was in the spur of the moment I decided – the teacher is a bad girl and I will not give her my chocolates. Swiftly, I started distributing the chocolates around the class. All of them were looking at me sadly. Don't look at me like that. It's not my fault. Just then, the teacher of next class entered. She has not done anything wrong; I can give her chocolates. I extended my chocolate cover to her.

Smiling, she took two chocolates from the cover. Mummy said if teachers take two chocolates, then it should be fine. Behind her, my class teacher came and stood. What happened after that was unbelievable, she asked, "Anika, is it your birthday today?"

You can see I am wearing pretty dress, isn't it enough that today is my birthday. She took five chocolates from the cover. Who takes five chocolates! I glared at her. That's right! I glared at her and went to my bench. Until the end of the day, I didn't speak a word with anyone. After the school, Ammamma came to pick me. Though she pestered me, I didn't answer her.

After we reached home, she hugged me. The warmth of hug made me cry. I cried until I felt no energy to cry. Then I narrated her everything. After listening, she said, "Had you told me near the school, I would have spoken to your teacher. How dare she do that?"

That's all I wanted to hear. I didn't want Ammamma to confront my teacher and question her. After eating some curd rice, I dozed off. The evening went by quickly; we cut the cake, ate some chips and drank a glass of Frooti. That night, Daddy made an important announcement.

"We will have to shift to Mumbai again. I accepted a job offer."

The house was thrown to an uproar by Mummy and Daddy. However, in the end, it was decided that we will stay in Mumbai. There was a discussion about changing my school and how this class teacher won't be present. If my school is changed, then I will have some good teacher.

Arun Mama said, "If she changes her school, then she will have to let go of her friends."

That's when it struck to me. Lakshmi and I won't be friends anymore. This thought stayed with me for quite a sometime. I would often wonder if I tell her, will she still remain my friend? Arun Mama suggested that whenever I would come to meet them, I can meet her too.

After a few weeks, a school trip to Cubbon Park was arranged. The whole class was put in a single bus. I managed to get two seats. Along with me, Lakshmi sat. Actually, I was seating next to the window but she said she wanted to. So, I gladly exchanged the seats. She started talking about trees and flowers when I cut her, "Lakshmi, I wanted to tell you something."

"What is it, Anika?"

"I will be moving to Mumbai."

"When?"

"After my Junior KG gets over."

She said nothing. I felt like she wanted some time to think. I didn't understand what was there to think in that. But I wanted my answer, "Will you still be my friend?"

"Yes," she replied. I looked at her happily. When I about to tell her, she said, "Anika, let's not talk now. I have headache."

I looked at her surprisingly. "Mummy tells that kids don't get headaches."

She muttered, "Your Mummy is wrong."

I shook my head. "Mummy is never wrong."

She just turned her face towards window. I asked her, "Should I tell teacher about it-"

"Don't do that. You have caused me enough trouble."

I caused her trouble? How can she say like that? Soon enough, we reached the gate outside Cubbon Park. It took me two days to remember the name of the park. When we got down, I turned towards her but I saw her going with some other girls. Probably, she didn't see me.

I ran towards her and called her, "Lakshmi, come we will go together."

She turned her face away. I stood aghast. My class teacher called, "Children, come and stand in a line. I will do a quick count."

The whole day went by quite gloomily for me. I didn't feel any excitement sitting in the toy train, neither did I feel any happiness looking at various flowers. I wanted to go home. Then I remembered what Arun Mama was telling. Anu, don't wander off anywhere. My office is near Cubbon Park so I will come and have a check in my lunch break. I was wishing for him to come in his lunch break. I was wishing for him to come and take me home.

I couldn't see him anywhere. Even when we had our lunch break, even when we were heading towards our bus; I couldn't see him anywhere. In the bus, I caught exactly the same seat where we were sitting while coming to the Cubbon Park. I didn't make any effort to reserve the seat. I understood that she wouldn't come.

Yet, she came and sat next to me. I saw the group with which she was hanging didn't have any extra seat. She asked, "Anika, can I sit next to the window?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Why not? I sat while coming here-"

"That's because I let you sit here. Now, I want to sit here."

"You're so selfish."

Selfish? Eh, what does that mean? I mustn't let her know that I don't know the meaning of the word. "No, I am not selfish. If you wanted the window seat then you should have caught it before me."

"But we are friends-"

"Friends don't leave friend alone-"

"I needed to make new friends so that when you would leave, I will have someone."

I felt like I was wrong to think that way. She didn't lie to me. So, I offered her my window seat. After sitting there, she refused to speak. I didn't understand what mistake I had made. When I narrated the incident to Mummy, she explained, "You didn't do anything wrong. Though I had told you not to tell anyone that we would be leaving for Mumbai. But I don't understand why did she call you selfish, when she is the selfish one."

"Mummy, what is sel-selfish?"

"Anu, selfish means a person who puts their happiness first. Even if they know they are hurting others, they will put their happiness first. Like Lakshmi thought it is better to make new friends even though she knew this was the last trip of you both together as friends. But you're not selfish because you weren't even happy during the whole trip."

I nodded my head. "Yes Mummy, I was wondering how she was happy when she was with new people."

"Some people can make friends easily. But you're not like that so I want you to learn that."

I nodded.

Glossary:

Semiyan Payasam: Seviyan Kheer/Vermicelli Kheer – a sweet dish made using vermicelli

Thank you for reading.