Chapter Fifty Seven
"I am still insulted on basis of my caste, despite being a king. I am still considered an outsider in the royal court apart from King and Kauravas who treat me as their own. I am not regarded as someone who got the kingdom by his merit but someone who just wants to be a tail of Duryodhan and got the kingdom in favour. I don't want to compete Arjun because I am jealous of him. I want to defeat him as he's considered one of the greatest archers and I want to prove that a charioteer's son can also have those skills and can win, so that nobody stops kids of low born castes from learning. With this position in everyone's eyes that I am just an attention seeker, can you really expect me to bring a change?" Karna asked.
Vrishali felt her eyes welling up with tears listening to him. Did she really misunderstand him and made such a big issue of him being a king?
"Vrishali, I don't understand why you are not getting the reason behind me accepting this position? However, I can assure you that I am not into any dirty politics. I do try to stop Duryodhan but I can't cross a certain boundary of trust he has on me. He's very insecure and thinks that he's not good and that's why people favour Yudhister. If I will speak something, he will freak out. He's just a kid inside, deprived of love and very careful steps need to be taken with him", Karna said.
"When are you planning to take those steps then?" Vrishali asked with tears in her eyes.
"Vrishali", Karn said. "I will try my best but I don't want to loose my friend in that. However, if it's your decision to think of me as an opportunist and heartless to just follow Duryodhan's words blindly. Then, I won't stop you. I won't try to persuade you. I am sorry for stopping you. I will get the permission from King to let you go to Indraprastha. I will drop you myself", Karn said.
Vrishali's tears fell freely as she heard the hurt in his voice.
"Karn", Vrishali said and held his hand. "I mean...Maharaj", she said as he looked at her. This time, her tone was gentle, not mocking.
"Stop calling me Maharaj", he shouted and furiously pulled his arm back as he glared at her. "I have a name, alright?" He said and she flinched by his angry tone. She had fear in her eyes but he wasn't going to let go of it, this time. He needed to confront her.
"I am tired of people misunderstanding me yet I don't ponder upon it. But...out of them, you misunderstanding me, hurts me", Karna yelled. "Stop misunderstanding me. Stop blaming me. Urvi blamed me for Varnavrat and you are blaming me for being a side kick of Duryodhan. We ad friends. Why can't people get that? Why can't you get that, Vrishali? Why are you testing my friendship always? I have been hurting since our fallout", he said.
"I left the crown after Varnavrat but Duryodhan attempted suicide so I came back. I left the crown because of my guilt and...and because of you", Karna said as tears filled in his eyes and Vrishali gasped. She looked up at him, crying now. "I didn't tell anyone but I wanted to leave the crown for you. I wanted to gain your trust back yet I didn't get the chance. But, why can't you understand me for once? Vrishali. It's not easy for me too, to suddenly become a king. I have always dreamt of being an archer only. I never desired throne. I am trying to manage everything. Being a king, being a friend and being a husband. I am trying and trying. I have never been so hurt despite all rejections. I have always thought of you as someone close to me and you are blaming me. Am I that bad? Vrishali", Karna asked, his voice cracked.
Vrishali hugged him. He hugged her back as both cried. Indeed...friendship is a blessing. And when you see it going away from you, you feel dying.
"I never thought ill of you, Karn", Vrishali said as they parted away and she looked at him. "I have always wanted you to achieve your dreams. However, I was scared of you loosing your path and the results hurting you. I was scared of...of loosing you", she said. "I am scared of loosing you to this all. I am scared of loosing my rebellious Karn to a friend and king. I am scared because I am ordinary and my Karn is extraordinary", she said.
Karna cupped her face. "Friends don't see ordinary and extra ordinary, Vrishali. Just...don't misunderstand me again", he pleaded.
"I won't", Vrishali promised.
He sighed and wiped her tears. "I am sorry for shouting at you", he muttered. Vrishali smiled. "It was needed", she said to him.
"Won't you make me meet your wives?" Vrishali asked. Though, she felt her heart shatter. She has always loved him and he has never identified that love on her face. She was not strong enough to confess it and now he was married.
He will never be her's.
"Yes...why not?" Karna smiled and indicated his wives to come out who were really shocked seeing the fight but now happy seeing them patching up.
"These are my wives", he said and introduced them. Vrishali felt her heart ache but managed to give a painful smile as he introduced everyone.
She and Vrushali hadn't been that close so they just exchanged small smiles. Vrishali was at her maternal home at first and then when Karn went, misunderstanding her, she remained aloof unlike Vrushali who got a chance to give farewell to Karn and was fine.
They never got the time to interact.
"And...this is Digvija and Vasudha", Karna introduced them too. "Our friends", he said. Vrishali smiled at them as they smiled back.
"Mitr...Avantika...", Duryodhan suddenly came with a pale face.
Everyone looked at him confused.
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