Soon, news of my arrival had spread all through out the castle. Whenever I was intercepted by someone they would put a comforting hand on my shoulder and tell me how sorry they were. They would then say that Vlad was a demon in true form and that he was a disgrace. I would then shrug off their comforting hand and stalk off in the opposite direction.

I sighed. People thought I was touchy over the subject of Vlad because I was ashamed by my past with him. I wasn't ashamed - my time with him had been one of the best times of my life - but I was still unsure. Ashamed? No, but alright? I couldn't answer that.

There had been a time when I had been so consumed by anger and hatred that I had wanted him dead. I still hated him but the feeling I got when I thought of him wasn't anger. It was-it was something else.

As I entered the chamber of war, I started to pay attention to my surroundings. The chamber of war was small but still large enough to accommodate fifty guardians or so. Today, we were going to discuss tactics for the upcoming war. I sighed as I took my place.

God started off by expressing his desire for the war to take place in the human realm over the hill of ashes. If it took place there, no humans should get hurt. If the battle took place in the demon realm, we would be in more danger. If it took place in the angel realm, a few demons may try to sneak off and wreak havoc somewhere else in our realm.

I hardly paid attention after the introduction but I heard it when my name was mentioned. I looked up, interested, and met the gaze of Ashe, the guardian angel of tactics. He stared at me pointedly - obviously aware of the fact that I had not been paying attention. I hung my head in embarrassment but lifted it when he called my name again.

"Mia, I was just saying that you should be the one to fight and kill Vlad." I blanched at the thought.

"What? Bu-but Why?" I stammered. God looked at me comfortingly but I hardly noticed. Ashe raised an eyebrow at my reaction.

"We were talking about different demon's strengths and weaknesses. Vlad's strength is that he is able to draw on power from the hatred of the people he fights. That is why if any of us fought him, we would be at a disadvantage since he would be more powerful."

I could see where he was going with this. "What if two of you took him on at one?" I asked softly, afraid that if I spoke too loud my voice would break.

Ashe was shaking his head even before I finished. "If he had two opponents then he would just gain strength from the two of them and still be more powerful. The only person who can fight him so that they are both equally as powerful is you."

I froze. I had known he would say that but I hadn't wanted him to. I glared at Ashe. "No." I snarled.

His eyes widened but he continued to try to convince me. "You are probably the only angel who doesn't hate Vlad. Due to your -past it is almost impossible for you to hate him because you once loved him."

A silence had fallen over the chamber as Ashe spoke and I glared at him. "You think so?" I asked in a dangerously quiet voice.

He studied me as he said, "I know that you don't hate him. You must see that you are the only one who can fight him. Will you put your fellow guardians at risk just so that you don't have to be responsible for his death?"

I blanched slightly but held his gaze. He continued. "He will die one way or another. If you kill him, it saves more time and more lives."

I slowly shook my head. "I just -can't." I said in an agonized whisper as I sat back down. "You don't understand. It's not that I still love him its just that-there is still a part of me that will never be able to hurt him because of what we shared. Please don't ask me to do this." I begged.

Ashe looked at me evenly for a long time before slowly shaking his head. "I'm sorry Mia, but this the only way to take out Vlad that makes sense. Surely you can see where I am coming from?"

I was about to retort with something not very nice at all but God silenced me with a look. In a deep and grave voice he said, "We can't force you to choose anything Mia. You have your freewill. You do not have to fight Vlad if you do not wish to. But keep in mind, that it would be preferable by most here if you did."

I stayed silent and glared at the floor before sighing. "I don't know. I need time. Please understand that I get what you are saying and I want to go along with it but it feels like it would be going against my nature to hurt him. It feels like a betrayal." God nodded in understanding.

"I fear what it will do to you if you do as we ask. Either way, I have an unfortunate suspicion that if you come back from this war alive, you will not be yourself. If you have to fight Vlad you will kill a part of you and you will not be the same. If you do not fight him and he kills someone, then a part of you will die because of the guilt which will overcome you. I do not know which will be easier to cope with - the guilt, the pain or death. I wish you luck with making your choice. I trust that you will make the right one. You may now leave." He dismissed me.

I stood up and stalked out of the chamber. I walked out of the castle and flew to the pond of Truth. It was an ancient pond in the castle gardens which was hardly visited. It had once been a symbol of beauty and truth but it had now crumbled into ruins. As far as I knew, I was the only one who came here frequently. I felt a connection with the pond because of what I represented - truth.

I crumpled down onto the floor, sinking to my knees. I buried my face in my hands and my nails dug into my scalp. I shook uncontrollably as tears made their way free. They wanted me to kill Vlad. Not to wound him or distract him, but to kill him. I knew that was something I could not do. Never.

I lifted my tear streaked face from my hands and tried to calm my self. I took deep breaths as I sat cross legged and stared into nothing. I concentrated on the water which slowly trickled around the pond. I closed my eyes and thought about what god had said.

He had said that either way, I would come back not my self. Either I would come back dead and lifeless, my corpse carried home to lay in its final resting place in a graveyard. Or I would come back full of guilt, because I had chosen not to fight Vlad and others had been killed by him when I could have been stronger and saved their lives. Or I would come back in great pain, because Vlad would be truly gone forever - he would not even exist in a bodily form - and it would be my entire fault.

God had left me with three options; pain, guilt or death. The guilt would be the selfish option because I would not be the only one suffering and my suffering would not be as great as it could be. Death may be the easier option in one way, since I would not feel anything but I was not suicidal and death was never really an option. I did not want to die. The pain may well be the hardest option. The pain of loosing Vlad had been great but I had felt reassured knowing he was still alive and that he could still be in there somewhere. If we were completely and irreversibly dead, the pain would be unbearable.

I sighed as I stood up and brushed my hands on my skirt. We were flying off for war in two days and I needed to rest well otherwise I would not be much of help.

I fell asleep almost instantly for which I was incredibly grateful. I also slept without any nightmares, which was also good. I woke up feeling better than along time, despite the fact that it was the eve of war.

I spent my morning training. Sara commented on how I was still as quick as ever. She had joked about no demon being a match for me.

When I was leaving she had caught my wrist and stared at me apologetically. I had stared back in confusion. "What?" I asked, unsure.

She coked her head to the side and hesitated before asking "Will you fight Vlad?"

I growled under my breath and yanked my hand away from hers. "I don't know. That is what I have been telling everyone. Just-just leave me alone." I fled and hid from the other angels. All I wanted right now was to be alone and to think.

After hours of thought I still hadn't thought of anything new. I was still at a moot point and was undecided. Death, pain or guilt? How did someone choose from those options?

I was sent for at dawn. I dressed in the white armor that the Angels would wear. I pulled on my boots and clipped my sleek sword to my side. I was dressed more for speed and agility, not for defense.

I joined the army of guardians outside the castle and took my side before Sara. None of us said anything. Many other angels had come to see us go and to wish us luck. They cheered as God finished his speech and lifted up into the air. In return, I along with all of the other guardians flew into the air as well.

"Are you ready?" Sara asked from behind me.

I was as ready as I'd ever be but I did not say that. I just said "Yes." It almost caused me pain to lie and I flinched.

I re-thought over my options as we flew towards the portal. Death, guilt and pain. But a possibility flew into my head. What if I did face Vlad and he wasn't able to hurt me. I could try and convince him to be good. If he didn't want to hurt me then that would mean that he still cared for me. I knew he was angry at me just as I was angry at him but I still knew that there was a good chance that he didn't want to hurt me.

Was it possible that there was a fourth option? One that didn't end badly?

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Next update: 21/06/2017

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