Right now, I'm packing all necessary things to go to Hogwarts. I have never packed before, but I'm perfect in everything I do which must include packing as well. Besides, it's not that hard to find the necessary things. I pack my lipstick, all my pink dresses except my favorite one which I am wearing, some sexy underwear, pink high-heel shoes, my eye shadow, and glasses which will show how smart I am. Oh! And I've forgotten one important thing! Oh, there it is. I take paint in spray, and I'm spray-painting my backpack so that it's also pink! Just imagine, how would I look at Hogwarts all in pink with a black backpack! Ewww!

Well anyway, everything's finally packed so I go out of the door and I go to Hogwarts. Except I can't because someone caught my hand.
"And where exactly you think you are going, Miss?" says that someone.

I look up at his face and I know he's not from my orphanage. He's not smiling, the most his cruel mouth can do is clearly to smirk, his black hair is greasy and clearly not washed for a long time, his hooked nose is simply hideous and he's wearing black robes which are out of fashion for like a century. And he's a man, unlike my friends and "aunts" here.
"To Hogwarts," I snap at the stranger.
"Indeed?" The man lifts one eyebrow. "And where exactly is that place?"
Oh, c- Oh no. Despite all the careful preparation, I have forgotten that I don't actually know where Hogwarts is. Would you even believe that? You don't have to answer, that was a rhetorical question. I know very well that you definitely wouldn't believe that, I'm not stupid.
When I fail to answer his question, he sneers. "I thought as much," he informs me. "For your information, this orphanage lies on a small island between words so that any one of you could enter whichever world you claim you belong to. But by all means continue walking and fall into the void, I hardly have a greater wish than to be stripped of this terrible duty."
"Which duty?" I ask curiously. I don't like this man—he doesn't look beautiful like me and his words are sarcastic which is not kind at all—but I have to find out everything I can so I can use the knowledge later at Hogwarts to show other people how smart and brilliant I am. Even if the knowledge comes from this repulsive man.

When I asked this question, he narrowed his eyes and I have a feeling he didn't like it. I'm a very friendly person and I was friends with everyone in my orphanage, but I have this strange feeling I won't be friends with this man! He's probably jealous of my good looks! Yeah, that would be it.
"Which duty?" he growls. "Your kind has for some reason asked for me as the person who introduces them to the wizarding world that I have been assigned to your people permanently now."
I gasp. "Asked for you? I can't imagine why, if you're that rude to everyone. I'd rather ask for anyone but you."
His eyes flash angrily but he manages a crooked and menacing smile for the first time. "Then you are probably the single person in this madhouse who has at least some common sense. I strongly advise you to keep it and stay out of my way whenever you want. Enough of this chat, anyway, I want this done as soon as possible."
"Fine," I retort, "let's go, then."
"Wait a minute," he shakes his head. "You will go to the bathroom first and you will wash off all this pink paint you have obviously fallen into. Change your clothes when you are there as well, corsets are out of fashion for at least three centuries anyway, and even at those times they were to be covered by bigger pieces of clothing."
"That's my favourite dress! And pink is my favourite colour, do you have any problem with that?" I shout angrily. Would you believe that? Such insults! He clearly still has both parents beside him, the ungrateful swine, I can see it from the way he acts. But that's okay, it's not their fault that they lived and that their mothering made him the bitter man he is now. No one is without fault, anyway, except me.
"This means that this... this thing was once your dress?" he raises both eyebrows. "Be that as it may, you are to put some proper clothes on. What we are going to visit is a famous place and no one would let you enter it in this. Especially not my self-respect."
I grit my teeth. What impertinence! I throw at him my best angry look, which would make anyone fear me, but it doesn't seem to affect him. He probably has suicidal tendencies anyway. I go up and change my clothes. Thankfully I find some pink things so I'm still all in pink, I'm not going to give that up whatever he says.

"There, you see! Are you happy now?" I shout at him when I finally return.
He looks at me, visibly disgusted. "Of course not. But then, I never expected to be happy in your presence. One more thing, you have to unpack your dreadfully packed luggage and pack it properly. And you will add your new belongings to your luggage so I would recommend a suitcase and not backpack."
I stop dead with shock. "What do you mean, dreadfully packed?? I packed it myself!"
"I was afraid it is so," he jeers. "That is the reason why I used the words 'dreadfully packed'. Did you even pack any shoes besides high-heels, you dunderhead?"
"No," I answer proudly.
"And lipstick?"
"Yes, of course," I answer once again.
"How predictable," he smirks. "Unfortunately, I know your kind enough to know what you pack when you are on your own. So, let me see it." With these words, he takes my backpack and turns it upside down. All my carefully prepared tools to shine at Hogwarts fall down and I have barely time to catch my lipstick and eyeshadow before they fall and break. Now I'm really in a rage. "YOU MONSTER!" I shout at the man.
"I am terribly sorry," he smirks, "but since no normal eleven-year-old girl uses lipstick, I would definitely not expect any lipstick in your backpack, never at all."
"YOU HAVE JUST ASKED ME AND I CONFIRMED I HAD IT!" I shake in anger.
"Since you obviously hate me, I dismissed your answer as false information meant to confuse me," he carelessly shrugs, and before I can hit him, he catches my hand. "If I were you, I would control your temperament and continue packing properly. We would not want to miss the trip to the wizarding world, do we?"
I narrow my eyes at him but finally, I manage a curt nod. "That's better," he smirks and immediately starts to criticize the insides of my backpack. Well, the former insides. "On the other hand, this is pathetic. You will be at Hogwarts for nine months, dresses and this ridiculous underwear which is almost invisible will certainly not suffice. And no socks?"
"I look better barefooted." I snap at him.
"Is it so? Well unless you want to be the best-looking girl of the infirmary, you will pack yourself some socks. And I believe you would not celebrate such a title that much."
I hate to admit it but he's right. I would not like that title that much because I bet there would not be many people in the infirmary so it would not be that hard of an achievement. I grudgingly take a suitcase, pack all the things I previously put into the backpack there and add some socks. My strict advisor keeps arguing with me and after an hour, my luggage is considerably fuller and he finally seems to be content.

"Well, this would be enough. I hope against chance that you will be able to remember what we packed and successfully pack it alone next time. Otherwise, you would be missing it throughout all school year and the Headmaster thinks for some reason that such a thing would be bad. Now take it and go with me." With these words, he takes my hand again and when I take my suitcase, he turns on the spot.

I think he probably tries to torture me because I feel terrible after that. I can't properly breathe in, my perfect body feels like squashed into a garden hose, and worst of all, my hair looks all messed up. What a heresy! But then it finally ends and I find out we are suddenly in a small, narrow and uninhabited alley.
"What was that?" I hiss. "Did you try to kill me??"
His eyes dangerously flash. "No, I did not, although I may still succumb to this temptation. You can be assured that if I tried to kill you, I would be definitely successful. This was the apparition, the fastest way to travel here to London. Follow me now."

I follow him until he comes to a dirty, filthy pub and he seems to want me to enter it. He surely can't be that naïve? "I'm not going there," I state firmly, "it is just filthy and I have my standards. Besides, I'm too girly to enter a pub and drink alcohol, anyway."
He rolls his eyes. "Do you really think I have collected you at your orphanage just to invite you for a drink, you idiot? This is an entrance into our world. Of course, you may still give me a treat and return to your orphanage forever. But choose swiftly, no one else sees the house and we should avoid being the centre of attention, though that may be an impossible task for you."
I can't really believe what he says. Could it be so, even though it seems unlikely? Is it true what he says? Well, I hope not, because not being the centre of attention would really be a torture. Well anyway, I enter with him and it certainly doesn't make my mood better, because it's even worse inside. All is dirty, very small and the customers are simply hideous. Of course, they notice me at once because I am simply fabulous and they are in such a contrast that the whole pub seems to lighten up when I enter. My guide doesn't like it, though; he merely hisses: "What part of 'avoid being the centre of attention' did you miss?" and pushes me to the backyard before I can personally greet all the people in the pub and assure them of my greatness. There, he shows to me which brick should be tapped with a wand and a great stone archway opens. He turns to me and says: "Miss... Which kind of ridiculous surname do you have, anyway?"
"It's Angela Ori Gami Fuku Jima Mitsu Bishi Ja Pan Dae Woo Belladonna, and what is your name, by the way?" I say.
"It's Professor Snape. And I have asked only for your surname, not that your middle names do not show that I had a good reason once again," he sneers. "Very well, then—Miss Belladonna, welcome to Diagon all... Would you be so kind to listen to me when I am speaking, girl?"
I have stopped listening to Professor Snape when he started to jeer at my beautiful names. Professor Snape... What an ugly name. It sounds almost like Professor Shape... No, that's not correct, I love getting into shape! So it has to sound completely different than Shape. Anyway, I'm sure that there are infinite better ways how to spend a day than to listen to him, so I rather start running into this world. Into my world.