27-Angel

Over the preceding days, the whispers of shades about me being Drake's girlfriend augmented.

I was doing my work properly. I didn't spend all my working hours cuddling with the CEO.

"We have something to change. We can't go to the office hand in hand, Drake."

We had to stop doing sweet gestures in the building. It gave the employees a pain in their necks.

"I don't find this a disturbance to my employees. What's the issue, baby?" he wondered.

"Baka akala nilang ginagamit ko ang pagiging girlfriend ko sayo para hindi ko na kailangan gawin ang mga trabaho ko. Nakaupo lang at naghihintay sayo. I don't want to be unfair, Drake. Nagtatrabaho ako sa'yo. I should not let them think that I'm greedy for your attention, or I'm using our relationship to not work efficiently." I rationalized.

"I am the one who's greedy for your attention. I want to finish my work early. So that, we can go home and spend more time together. We barely have time during lunch break. You and I are doing our work effectively." he reasoned out.

"It's not simple just like that, Drake. This is not a good work ethic."

Bumitaw ako sa kanyang hawak.

"You have good work ethics, Angel. You have integrity, dedication, commitment and honesty..." he justified.

"Baka akalain nilang kinuha mo lang akong executive secretary para marami tayong oras sa isat-isa."

"Maybe at first, I was thinking that way. If I hire you in an instant —we will have more conversations than we had before. I dearly miss you — all of you, Angel." His adoring eyes were sparkling with wistfulness. "But I know you're versatile. You know the boundaries you need to consider. I wish I can kick this habit, Anghel..." His thick lashes brushed his cheek slowly. "Whatever control I try to do, I just can't. I've changed so many ugly things about me, yet I can't change this too."

Drake was an affectionate man. Only love and gentleness showed in his very gestures.

He was like always proclaiming to everyone that he's proud to shower his love to me.

"We have to make adjustments, Drake... Please?" I fluttered my eyes once again.

"If you say so..." His down-turned face dissolved my heart like sugar in the coffee.

"But..a-am..." I trailed off and gulped down the bile of conscience in my throat. "—five seconds of hug before going to the building wouldn't hurt, right?"

His mouth moved. "You really know my Achilles' heel..." And his eyes brightened.

He grabbed me gently and kissed me like we didn't have work to do the entire day.

***

I monitored office expenditures. I screened callers and visitors. I coordinated with his secretary for his itineraries.

Bigla nalang nahulog ang ballpen ko habang binabasa ang isang dokumento.

My black pen rolled to his table. Nakayuko kong sinundan iyon at pinigilan uling gumulong.

He covered the sharp verge of wood where my head was about to hit.

"Isn't working?" he asked.

"Huh? Us?"

"Our relationship is functioning, but I'm referring to the ball pen, baby..." His offered his hand for me to stand up.

Tumayo ako sa suporta ng kamay niya. I yelped in surprise when he pulled me onto his lap.

Here we go again. Someone might come in.

He smirked naughtily when the clock says 11:30 am.

"It's lunchtime. My favorite meal of the day."

"Wala pang alas dose, Sir..."

"Really? That's thirty minutes advance. If we follow the accurate time, it's already twelve,"

He played the ends of my perm hair.

He turned off his computer and hugged me as if harboring energy from me. He headed to sweet-talking me like it was one of his routines. That ended up to staring each other's lips, trying not to surrender to the yearning. But it only took countable of seconds for him to finally give in.

The pace of Drake's kisses was a blend of tenderness and eagerness. Like a man who won in a race and excited to celebrate his own victory, while he's holding the trophy with such gentleness.

I couldn't truly refuse to his kisses. My hands were on his chest. His big arms secured my waist.

I couldn't remember what I just said to him this morning. My mind was in haze.

My skirt hiked up a bit. He lowered the edge of the fabric. His fingertips were drawing gentle circles on my knee instead. He was like showing his respect to me through that caress against my bare skin.

He nipped my lower lip with his that made me break the kiss with a gasp.

The door creaked. Robert came in.

"Sir, I'm so sorry for coming in directly. Kanina pa po kasi ako kumakatok. I have to make an initiative. Am I interrupting something?"

I sneaked to my desk by discretion. Robert was glancing at me and Drake in curiosity. I sank to my chair with self-consciousness.

Tumingin ako sa aking compact mirror. Laking gulat ko na kasing pula na ng kamatis ang pisngi ko!

"Naghihintay na po si Mr. Dimayuga sa inyo."

"Susunod ako, Robert..." Drake said but his eyes glued on me.

"Yes, Sir." Lumabas agad si Robert.

Ilang segundong katahimikan ang namayapa sa loob ng opisina bago siya lumapit sa akin.

"Mr. Mathildo..I thi-ink Robert saw u-us kissing.." I stammered.

"Then, let him spread the news around the building, or around the media, pretty. I'll be on the cloud nine. Happy as a clam..."

My jaw dropped. Nagsitaasan ang mga balahibo ko.

His head was thrown back in delight. His jaw was lifted while whistling and strutting outside.

He'd have to talk to a very important visitor. I didn't receive a call prior to his visitor's arrival though. He'd have been talking to some businessmen these past few days. Drake must have been hitting two birds with one stone.

***

Upang makalimutan ang nangyari kanina ay sinigurado kong hindi kami sabay na kumain ng tanghalian. Alam kong gagawin na naman niya iyon.

He was frowning at me while eating his lunch. He was munching the lettuce in displeasure.

He skimmed papers and answered calls for three hours. I wanted to massage his head whenever he scrunched his face, or pinched his forehead.

"Are you all right, Sir? What can I do to ease you down?" nag-aalala kong alok.

He squinted at me in disbelief. "A kiss or a tight hug..."

"Mr. Mathildo, I should refrain myself from submitting to your trickery."

Binunot niya ang ballpen na nahulog ko kanina sa kanyang bulsa. "Okay. But your ballpen, Ms. Soledad."

"Kukuha nalang ako ng bago..."

Mariin kong pinaglapat ang mga labi ko.

Gumagawa na naman siya ng paraan.

"Come on, get this one. You need a good pen to write down notes. This is the excellent one so far." pinaikot-ikot niya pa ito sa kanyang kamay.

"I have a spare..." I breathed out.

Kumibot ang labi niya sa isang nakaka-akit na ngiti. "You don't value the quality of this pen?"

"That's not what I meant, Sir..." I shook my head.

"Why we need a good ball pen, Ms. Soledad?" he asked but answered his own question, "To write important things, to highlight facts, it encourages you to write precisely, it improves your motor skills–"

I snatched the pen like a flash. But Drake captured my wrist and tugged my waist with his agile reflexes. For the second time around, I landed on his lap.

Sumandal siya sa kanyang office chair.

"Let's stay like this, please?" He pleaded. "You're always been my favorite distraction..." he spoke so softly.

His eyes maneuvered both the intensity of shivery seriousness and fiery affection. Like both freezing nor drought wouldn't be possible to calm it.

He swiped his thumb on my lip and used it for browsing another page of the paper he was scanning.

He continued working with our uncomfortable position. His face was only a hairbreadth away from me. He acted like he could just throw all that papers and focus on me.

The way his eyes zeroed on me in a matter of seconds, back to the papers, and to me again, makes it clear that the papers were not his main concern.

"Enjoying your breathtaking view? What are you thinking?"

"It seemed to be too odd for me to find you perusing sheaves of paper, signing them, and talking to many people who work for you. I always admired how awesome you race, Drake. That intense passion of yours brought you where you are right now. But looking at you with your new life makes you more intimidating and powerful..."

"When I'm with you, I don't feel powerful neither intimidating. I feel grounded and contented. It has been always you —who give me strength and fueled my veins with adrenaline rush. But at the same time, you make me feel like my feet is on the earth, after being in the high speed of thrill that racing gives me..."

My cheeks heated. I leaned on his chest.

Susundin ko muna ang nagwawala kong puso.

"Nakakamangha parin ang nangyari sa buhay mo, Drake..."

"Nakakamangha maglaro ang kapalaran dahil bumalik ka sa akin. You will achieve your dreams too. I'll be with you through the process and progress of it, Anghel..." he comforted me.

"I still don't know what I want by my skill alone, or what my plan next. I really don't know where my passion would take me..." I caressed the planes of his necktie. "Minsan ay hindi ko maiwasang isipin na karma ko siguro ito, dahil iniwan kita na hindi man lang hinayaang magpaliwanag..."

"Don't reproach yourself, Angel. I condemn myself for what happened." He stroked my hair.

"I'll be attending a moto rcross this Friday. Do you want to come with me?" pang-iiba niya.

Tumango ako at bumalik na kami sa aming mga trabaho. Iyon na ata ang pinakamahabang hapon para sa akin. Drake had been pretty occupied with work. Sometimes he forgot to comb his hair after showering or eat his breakfast. But never forget his lunch or dinner.

Ako na mismo ang nagsusuklay ng kanyang buhok habang nagmamaneho siya.

"What are you doing?" Tanong niya sa akin habang umiinom ako ng tubig.

"Drinking water." I smiled at him in confusion.

"Please be careful." He shot me a glance with a sly wink.

"Huh?"

Huminga siya ng malalim. "You might drop the glass, and break it. You will pick up the broken pieces in haste, and then you'll get hurt with its sharp edges. I'm trying to warn you the things that could happen when you drop that glass..."

That was too much to take. Tantiya niya tilagang mangyayari ang lahat ng iyon.

A soft laugh pushed from my lips.

"You're being pessimistic, Sir."

His brows shot up.

"Calm down, Drake. I'm being careful..." I put down the glass of water.

"I've hurt you enough. Small things that could hurt you matters to me..."

Pinagtimpla ko siya ng Chamomile Tea nang patapos na ang working hours. Ininom niya iyon ng walang pag-alinlangan.

Pagkatapos naming kumain sa kanyang paboritong restaurant ay umuwi agad kami sa kanyang penthouse.

Nadatnan ko siyang tulog mantika sa couch matapos kong maghalf-bath. Ginising ko siya dahil hindi ko rin siya kayang kargahin sa bigat ng katawan niya.

Umakbay siya sa aking balikat at nagpahatid sa kanyang kwarto.

***

Friday came so fast. Drake said to me that we'll be attending a motor cross outside downtown.

I answered a notice call from Del Prado Condominiums that the owner would visit Drake.

I professionally greeted the visitor by ten in the morning. I ensured hospitality and assistance while they were having a good conversation. I thought they were talking about business, but it sounded they were sharing friendly topics.

Sumapit ang ala-una ay bumaba na kami sa ground floor. Nakalimutan kong mag-retouch ng makeup sa office kaya dumaan muna kami sa isang bathroom doon.

Sinabihan ko siyang mauna sa parking lot pero nagmatigas. Kaya naghihintay siya ngayon sa labas.

"Hi, Ms. Soledad." pagbati ng may kaedarang diyanitres sa akin.

"Hello po." I smiled at her.

Pumasok ang dalawang babaeng empleyado.

I gingerly retouched my makeup. I applied mascara on my eye lashes. I painted my cheeks with pink blush. I wiped lipstick on my lips.

The two employees were looking at me from head to toe.

"Sabay ba kayong kumakain ni boss, Ma'am?" mausisang mosyon ng may nunal sa ibabaw ng bibig.

"Sa penthouse ka ba niya tumutuloy? Kung oo, sa kwarto ka ba niya natutulog?"

"Ano kaya ang feeling ng girlfriend ng isang sikat at mayamang boyfriend, no?"

Sunod-sunod nilang mga siyasat. Hindi ako makasagot.

"Iyong klaseng boyfriend na nagmamay-ari ng kompanyang tinatrabahoan mo. At executive secretary ka pa niya!" They exclaimed dramatically.

"Anong klaseng boyfriend siya, Ms. Soledad?" They asked in unison.

"He's loving and caring..." I closed my compact mirror.

"Continue lang, Ms. Soledad. Gusto lang naming malaman." panghihimok ng empleyadong may nunal sa ibabaw ng kanyang bibig.

I didn't get the good thought of breaching someone's life for their own satisfaction.

"Hindi naman namin ipagkakalat, Ms. Soledad. Sa atin lang ito." pagpupumilit naman ng isa.

"He cooks for me when he's not tired. He's extra attentive when he's around with me. He-" I ceased my words consciously.

"Ang sarap namang maging boyfriend si Sir Drake!" bulalas nila.

"Karen at Belinda!" The janitress poked them with the handle of the mop. "Mahiya naman kayo kay Ma'am! Kaharap niyo ang girlfriend ni sir Drake! Para kayong mga ahas!" Pinukol niya ng masamang tingin ang dalawa.

"Walang ibang ibig-sabihin ang sinabi ko, Miss. Soledad."

"Ang kapal talaga ng mukha mo, Karen." The janitress chimed in to my defense.

Hinawakan niya ang kanyang dibdib para ipakitang dalisay ang kanyang intensyon. "Ang sa amin lang ay napakaswerte mo at may boyfriend kang kagaya ni sir Drake. Sana ay hindi mo siya pakakawalan pa. Ano kayang nagustuhan niya sa'yo, no?"

Her inquisitive insulting eyes were enough for me to leave the bathroom. But I stayed.

"Eh, ang payat payat mo naman at mukha pang mahilig si Sir Drake sa mga may laman at may dibdib!"

I gripped my baguette handbag that Drake brought for me.

Silence settled over us. Nagtitimpi kong kinagat ang pang-ibaba kong labi para pigilan ang sarili na gamitin ang mga mapanghamak na mga salita.

"Bodily features don't matter for him. He loved me for who I am. He loved me since we're in High School. We loved each other more than anything insubstantial..." I defended.

"Uso pa ba iyan? Sex at pera nga lang ang habol ng iba jan, e!" Belinda piped up.

It was her indirect way of saying that I'm only after sex and Drake's money.

Napako ako sa aking kinatatayuan.

"Payo lang, Ms. Soledad. Padagdag ka ng dibdib para hindi magsawa si Sir Drake sa buto't balat mong katawan." Karen said to me one last time.

The Janitress touched my arm lightly.

"Ma'am, huwag mo sanang dibdibin ang mga sinabi nila. Wala po silang laban sa ganda niyo. Hanggang tapikan lang sila ng hinlalaki ng paa niyo, Ma'am."

Lumakad na siya palabas dala-dala ang mop at timba.

Sinamantala ko ang pagkakataong umiyak sa loob ng bathroom. That's what people with kind and sensitive heart got from unpleasant people.

I shouldn't have cave in their words. But it lingered in my mind though. I dabbed more concealer under my eyes.

My phone beeped.

Sumisinghot kong kinuha iyon sa aking handbag. Bumungad ang isang mensaheng hindi ko inaasahan.

Unknown Number:

Anak si Papa mo ito. Alam kong nandito ka sa Gensan. Magkita tayo ngayon kung hindi ka busy.

Sa pinakailalim ng mensahe niya ay nakalagay ang aming meeting place. I was turbid of what to do first. Pupunta sa motor cross o pupuntahan si Papa. In a few seconds, I made a decision.

Tinawagan ko si Robert na siya nalang ang sasama kay Drake. Pumayag agad siya at sinabing bababa na. It was a good thing he's free.

"Anghel?" Drake knocked three times. "Are you okay? Open the door please." His voice muffled outside the bathroom.

I slowly opened the door. Palihim niya akong sinipat ng tingin na may halong maingat na paghihinala.

"Are you... fine?"

"I'm fine, Drake. Medyo natagalan lang ako. I retouch my makeup..."

"Just like before..." He remembered how I spent ample of time on makeup after dismissal.

He intertwined our hands as if he couldn't breathe without feeling my hand over his.

"Drake?"

He glanced both sideways. "No one is looking..."

"It's not about that."

Umabot hanggang mata ang ngiti niya dahil hindi ako tutol sa paghawak niya sa aking kamay.

"Hindi na ako makakasabay sayo— Mr. Mathildo sa dadaluhan mong motorcross." I addressed him formally when a guard walked by. "I called Robert to come with you instead..."

"Why? What's with the change of plan?" Nagsalubong ang kilay niya.

"Someone wants to meet me." I lowered my voice than normal.

"Who?" Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Si Papa..." Mas mahina ko pang sagot.

"Can I drop you off instead? How many kilometers the exact location from here?"

"Hindi na kailangan, Drake..."

"Ihahatid lang kita, Angel." He released a hefty breath like my dilemma was his own dilemma too. "I want to meet your father too, and talk to him. But I guess this will be something personal. I will not interfere. I will not meddle between the two of you."

Hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko.

Kalaunan ay hinatid ako ni Drake sa isang coffee shop hindi kalayuan sa kanyang kompanya.

The radiance of afternoon was promising. Yet my apprehension took it away.

My father was sitting on the corner. I approached him. My eyes grew huge. He was incredibly emaciated. Dark shadows hovering under his eyes. He looked like he experienced all kinds of stress in life.

"Good afternoon, Pa.."

My heart sank to my toes.

Banayad siyang tumayo na parang takot gumawa ng ingay dulot ng kanyang upuan.

"You grow up so beautiful, Angel. I miss you anak."

He embraced me tight and stroked my hair. I couldn't help myself from hugging him back.

We settled down after few seconds.

"Paano mo nalaman ang phone number ko, po?"

"Are you dating a Mathildo, Angel?" He asked in his voice tight rather than asking me about how my life went. "Sino sa kanilang magkakapatid, anak? Pito ang anak ni Giovanni." usisa niya pa.

"Iyong pangatlo po..."

"Si Drake. Ang balita ko sa batang 'yan noon ay suwail at–"

"Drake changed, Pa. He never had cheating issues with other girls while we were together. He's loyal to me..."

It silenced him down with that statement from me.

It was heartening to remember his infidelity. It disengaged the nice air of the Café.

"You still hate me. Hindi mo parin ako pinapatawad. Matagal ko ng ginawa iyon, Angel. Hindi na kami magkasama ng kabit ko ngayon."

"I already forgive you, Papa. Pero hindi madaling maghilom ang mga sugat na iniwan mo sa amin."

Something roiled in me that he sounded like it was a petty thing. I chose not to entertain the approaching anger inside of me.

I remembered he wielded me into thinking that exchanging intimate messages with someone while he's a married man was normal.

I found out he was cheating to my mother through a text message from his mistress.

He kept his secret for months.

I was young.

I didn't want to ruin our family. Dumating ako sa pagkakataong hindi ko na kaya at sinabi kay Mama ang katotohanan.

"I never plant resentment in my heart, Pa. But I want to know what do you want now? Why do you want to talk to us after so many years? Did you learn from it? Or regretted what you did?" Mahinahon ang paglabas ng mga salita sa aking bibig.

What he did was purely immoral. He didn't just cheat. He also abandoned us.

Sadness and conscience strewed his eyes.

"Pinagsisihan ko ang lahat, Angel. Sana ay hindi ako nagpadala sa tukso." Huminga siya ng malalim. "Sana pinag-usapan namin ng Mama mo ang mga problema at hindi namin pagkakaunawaan sa isat-isa. I thought entertaining someone was the alternative thing to do when the marriage is failing."

Inabot niya ang aking kamay. "I want us to reunite again as a family, help me regain their trust, Angel..."

Binawi ko ang aking kamay at binaba ang tingin. "I can't promise anything, Papa..." Nangingilid ang mga luha sa aking mata.

Nagmamadali akong tumayo. "Aalis na po ako. May trabaho pa po ako..."

Hindi umabot ng kalahating oras ang pag-uusap namin. I returned to the company and submerged myself in work in order to forget what happened today.

My stomach grumbled in the middle of working. Alas tres e medya na pala ng hapon. Hindi ko namalayan ang mabilis na paglipas ng oras.

Pumunta muna ako ng canteen para bumili ng snacks. Hindi rin ako nagtagal roon at bumalik agad sa opisina.

"Someone left flowers and a sweet note in your table, Sir. Galing ata sa isang babae.." rinig kong wika ni Robert nang liliko na sana ako sa entrada ng opisina.

Nakabalik na si Drake galing sa motor cross na dinaluhan niya.

"It's certainly my brothers. Masyado akong busy sa trabaho, Robert. I rather ride my car fast and furious than waste my time for other girls. I wasted it a long time ago."

I peeped at them. Tinapon niya ang note na may apresyatibong ngisi sa kanyang mga labi at pumasok sa loob ng opisina.

Naghintay ako ng tiyempo para makuha iyon. Nang may pinuntahan si Robert ay kinuha ko ang note sa trash can. Binuksan ko iyon dahil sa kuryosidad na kumakain sa akin.

I spread the small paper.

Advance happy birthday, Drakey ❤ You're driving your life in the good path now. I'm so proud of you. *Lots of kisses*

I felt like out of shorts. There was a massive lump in my throat.

Binalik ko sa basurahan ang note.

Hindi ako nagpakita sa opisina. Subalit maraming pinadalang mensahe si Drake sa akin.

Drake:

How did it go? Did he lash out at you? Tell me, baby...

Drake:

Matagal ba ang pag-uusap niyo? Tell me everything what happened once we come home. I love you.

Drake:

Where are you now? Can I fetch you up?

Drake:

I guess I'll just locate your phone number...

Drake:

Don't talk to strangers if you're somewhere.

Drake:

I'm driving to your location.

Drake:

Wait for me, okay?

I turned off my phone.

Naglakad-lakad ako sa Plaza Heneral habang kinakain ang snacks na binili ko. Kumain rin ako ng ice-cream. Nagbaba-sakaling maibsan nito ang mga iniisip ko.

Nilakad ko lang din ang Del Prado Condominiums. There was like a group of bugs in my mind when I walked down the street of Pioneer Avenue. Siguro dahil hindi ako nakakain ng bibingka.

I was thoroughly swamp with misgivings. I did not even dare to check the highway or the traffic light.

"Miss! Don't fucking cross the road!"

A yell of warning from a stranger woke me up from those gloomy thoughts.

PERIEDOT