~Y/N POV~

"Miss Y/n are you okay in there?" Namjoon

"Namjoon she hasn't left her room in two days. Of course she's not okay." Yoongi

"Well we have to check." Namjoon

"Let's just burst the door down." Yoongi

"NO!!! FUCK OFF!"

I shouted at them from my bed, wrapped up like a worm in my blankets. The last thing I want is any of them coming into my room.

Since I had my recalling nightmare two days ago my PTSD came flooding back to me and I can't stand to think they're all here, especially two of them in particular. I don't want to see any of them or hear then so having them shouting at the door is just making me feel worse.

"Miss Y/n you need to eat something." Namjoon

Picking up my slipper from the floor I threw it across the door to the door and watched it slam into the wood creating a loud thud.

"GO AWAY!!"

Screaming at the top of my lungs I felt like I was almost fighting for my life even if there is a door separating us. Knowing they are more advanced now meaning they are stronger and can cause me more harm than before ruins me mentally and emotionally.

He says I need to eat but I'm not hungry. I just need them to leave me alone.

Grabbing my pillow I curled up to it  still wrapped in my covers and balled my eyes out. The repeated memory of my torture that night and I can only feel disgusted with myself for even going there in the first place or even allowing Jungkook to take me into the house. For all I know that could of been the plan and Jungkook was acting his innocence. I don't know and I don't care.

I was assaulted, verbally abused and raped that night and that bares the troubles on my mental state.

Sobbing and wiping my tears I unfolded my blankets and lifted up the bottom of my vest up to my breasts. I try not to do this but when I'm at my lowest I cant help but to look at it.

The scars from my tattoo removal.

If you look closely you can still see the writing spelling out SLUT but now in a more lighter skin colour rather than bright red.

The sore memory pains me and it's physically damaged my body in more ways that one.

Seeing the scars under my breasts I let out a wail of a cry and throw myself back against the bed and weep into the blankets I curl up around my head.

Its been years since I've been like this but yet it still feels fresh and as though this is my first time relieving myself from the pain.

What did I ever do to them to deserve such treatment?

I mean dumped on my front lawn naked for all my neighbours to see. Why?

"WHHYYY?!"

Shrieking around the room I couldn't hold my thoughts in and ended up sliding off my bed and crawled to the bathroom. I didn't have the energy to walk but I pulled enough to crawl to my shower and turn it on the cold settings and allow it to rain on me as I curl up against the wall.

I felt dirty and no amount of showers will ever be enough.

Sobbing my heart out I hung my head low to look down at myself but all I felt was hatred.

Who would want me after seeing that?

That's why I have never been with any one. That is why I worry so much about dating. They'll all see me as dirty. Used. A slut.

Out of my thought someone grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard. Looking up from myself I found my friend's saddened eyes as she holds tears in her eyes.

"Annie."

My voice croaked and just that alone she pulled me to her embrace and held me tight under the shower. Annies arms tightly around my back and held me there, not having a care about being under the cold water. We've done this before and I have no idea what I would do with out her. She's been my rock and sole reason for being sane all these years.

I held her equally tight not wanting to let her go and buried my face into her neck as I cried but she softly rubbed my back allowing me to cry this out with her support.

"Y/n I need to get you out of this shower before you catch a cold." Annie

She whispered in my ear and shifted on her knees just to haul me up with her. Standing up I felt like a dead body but she still helped me to stand and set me on the toilet to sit after closing the lid.

"I'll go get you some dry clothes okay?" Annie

I just nodded and hung my head low not wanting to speak.

Annie left and in no time came back with some clothes which she set down beside me which was a black pair of sweats and a large black hoodie.

"You change and I'll change through here okay? Five minutes and I'll be back in here if you don't come out." Annie

I just nod again and she hesitantly leaves but doesn't close the door but disappears to the far corner where I wouldnt be able to see her. It's not that I care about seeing her change it's just when I'm in this mental state I prefer to change alone. I don't like anyone watching me where as when I'm completely fine I wouldnt care about changing in front of her.

Once I was changed I dragged my feet across the floor to sit on my bed not even sparing a glance her way but she came went into the bathroom, cleaned up my wet clothes I left on the ground and threw them in the hamper just outside the bathroom door and came to sit beside me, putting her arm around my shoulders so I could lean my head against hers as we stayed sitting close on the edge of my bed.

"Do you want something to eat? I have come chips in my bag you can have." Annie

I nodded and she leaned down to her feet and picked up her bag to take out the chips and open for me but handed them to me. I took them mumbling a small thank you and began munching on the chips. As I was eating Annie cleaned up my room from clothes laying on the floor and even changed my bed sheets for me and then sat behind me to brush my hair.

I forgot she baby's me when I'm like this but it helps a lot.

When I was done she took the empty packet and threw in the little bin in the corner of my room and gestured for me to lay down by waving her hand towards my freshly changed pillows.

"I think the best thing you could do now is sleep. Just think of good things. Possibly about our holiday we're going to in a couple of months." Annie

I forgot about that holiday to Hawaii.

All this stuff with the bots downstairs made me forget about all the goodness that I already have in my life.

As laying down like she suggested I pulled up the covers and sunk into the comfort of my own bed.

"You're not going yet are you?"

Annie shook her head, brushing back some of my hair from my face.

"No. I'll take one of the guest rooms. You just sleep." Annie

A tight smile crawled upon my face and I closed my eyes, the last sight I saw was of Annie walking towards my bedroom door. But I do feel much better knowing Annie is here with me. Now I can fall asleep dreaming of beaches and cocktails in the sun. Now that sounds nice.