Emotional Pasts
They had hesitated at Sci's statement, caught off guard by the realization that he was right and they had never noticed. It was chilling how natural the shift had come to them.
The revelation was so bewildering that Cicállaé nearly missed the abrupt shock and recognition that bottomed out into confusion and slight disappointment. They regarded the heavenly Toriel pointedly.
"Did we surprise you?" The merged god asked as the not-quite portal dissipated behind them.
"..Yes. That teleportation of yours was startling." She excused, paw falling from the enormous cardinal flower cluster.
They stared, knowing that wasn't the truth. She returned the gaze, not willing to give it.
The contest ended when they sighed and looked down, intent on pursuing the subject later.
"We had.. an interesting matter come up. Think you can help us?" A lengthy branch shifted around to the front, sunlight filtering through the leaves as it moved between them.
Life immediately noticed the new growths, having a keen eye for such.
She stepped over, gently taking the bough in her delicate grasp. "Buds." She softly cooed in amazement. Cicállaé nodded, watching as she studied them. "We are concerned, Life."
"Why?" She met their gaze with her soft maroon eyes. "..You're just like your mother." She murmured with a faint, wistful smile.
They winced, gathering themself before huffing and speaking.
"She never moved from one spot, Life. And there were never any mundane apple trees that grew nearby. We are not so immobile. We cannot always be sure how close to groves we are and have no idea what the consequences of cross-pollination will be. And we cannot be sure of the effects pollination will have on bees, birds, and other pollinators." They explained.
The tall goddess sighed, lowering the limb in her paws and resting one on their shoulder. "Did they not pollinate your mother's flowers?"
Here they winced again in regret. "We can't remember. We never bothered to worry about such things then."
She pondered this, lightly brushing a larger floret. "You're afraid of influencing the environment negatively?" She asked.
"Yes." They asserted anxiously. She tapped the buds thoughtfully.
"If you are so worried, then we can simply test this now where it is safe."
"They're only buds." Cicállaé pointed out. Life gave him a look, visibly amused.
The merged god blinked, then recoiled faintly.
"We're not exactly just another plant, Life. We're entirely unaffected by Reaper's touch alone, how can you be sure tha-ai!" They yelped in surprise as green light filtered into the floret, it's waxen green shell swelling.
The merged god gathered the rest of the limb in their arms and shuddered. "That feels. Off." They said as the shell burst, revealing a rich purple color on wrinkly petals. Cicállaé inhaled sharply at the sight, the rapidly blooming five-petaled blossom flattening out and revealing a dark banana yellow at its center, patterned with the rich purple at the outer edges.
Life gasped faintly, running the tip of a claw along the edge of one petal. "It's beautiful." She whispered in adoration.
Cicállaé was mute, gazing at the bloom without a word. Life peered at them for a moment, then chuckled to herself as she reached behind her back.
Her paw returned with a single bumblebee clambering over the strands of fur, trailing yellow pollen on the white hairs as she gently deposited it on the bobbing stigma. It fumbled around for a few seconds, then fell. Cicállaé twitched when it hit the throat of the blossom, petals curling inward and momentarily caging the bee before reflexively opening again. Now the god blinked. "It can move."
"That is certainly unique." Life noted. "Keep still for this moment so our friend may do as she does best."
They shifted on their feet at that, but otherwise did not move, scowling slightly.
"It tickles."
A minute passed, and the bumblebee buzzed and crawled back out, pollen glittering unnaturally on its fuzzy legs. Life held out her paw, allowing it to crawl on and wander the new space as she turned and took wide strides towards a forming yellow-green portal.
Cicállaé froze in momentary confusion before hurrying after the goddess, slipping through the swirling circle and emerging in a stunning forest grove, all of great, twisting trees of paper white and pale pink blossoms, a familiar scent suffusing the air, sweet and delicate.
They froze, suddenly overcome.
Life was standing by the lower branches of the nearest tree, petals scattered everywhere amidst the lush grass and wildflowers. Bees were buzzing all around, sometimes interrupted by the whirring of a hummingbird. Cicállaé stared blankly at the scene, distantly noting figures wandering between the trees as faint tinted memories danced through their minds.
A faint tingling drew their attention, the merged god slowly turning to see a lone, gleaming emerald hummingbird buzzing by the single colorful blossom, yellow pollen speckling it's white underbelly and crimson throat. It cocked it's head at them, beady black eyes inquisitive as it then looked back at the flower.
Cicállaé was somewhat dizzy with tumultuous emotions of their own, thoughts stuck in the past as the tiny avian delicately perched on the twig in front of the blossom, poking it's beak into the bloom.
A shadow fell across the treeskeleton and they slowly looked up at the gentle smile of the goddess before them, holding a lone, sleepy bumblebee in one paw and reaching out to let the hummingbird hop into her other hand.
The bird hopped to her hand with trust when it was done, twitching and preening under its wing.
After a moment, a green light rose up along its feathers, the same happening with the bee before she let them go, the insect lazily buzzing away as the bird flitted off to the trees.
"There. I will watch them for any changes. You can relax."
They stared at her for a long moment, then shook their skull, abruptly curling all branches close to clear their minds.
"You took me to a grove of apple trees?" The god demanded in one voice. Life blinked, noticing the lack of duality before the realization set in.
"Oh dear I had forgotten. I am so sorry. Shall we leave?"
"Please."
She once again blinked at the changed voice as she reopened the portal, the treeskeleton plunging through and hugging themself in an attempt to purge the painful memories. Leaves fluttered nervously as twigs scraped against one another. The vast pines around the clearing groaned faintly, appearing closer as they achingly leaned their vast weight nearer. Life glanced back through the portal in alarm, sensing something.
The apple trees on the other side were writhing, wood snapping and cracking as petals filled the air, thrown from their flowers. Bees were darting about in panic, birds whizzing as they searched for a safe perch.
"Please, you must calm down. They are innocent." Life tried to assure them, resting a hand on the god's shoulder through the twitching branches. Several quiet shudders later, and Cicállaé took a deep breath, easing.
Glancing back, Life nearly sighed in relief at the sight. The trees had stilled, petals fluttering to the ground in thick, blush and snowy piles. They were still shifting, but calmed.
"It.. hurts to remember. Even after so long, it. Never really allowed that to heal. It feels wrong to see pink on those flowers and not violet. The white is too pale." The merged god explained softly, frowning.
"They are not related to your mother." Life pointed out.
"I know. I.. we know that. The similarities are still there." Cicállaé replied, gingerly spreading their leaves once more. Life quickly let the greenish portal swirl itself away, falling into glittering dust.
"Are you better now? You had the trees agitated."
"Agitated?" They quested before realizing.
"Oh. That." The god regarded the surrounding pines. "Odd."
"When did you begin to hold sway over the trees?" Life asked curiously, following their gaze.
"..We don't know. It seems to be connected to when we are one as it's only happened during those times, but we can't be sure."
"They appear sensitive to your emotional state." She noted, gazing at the enormous trunks.
"Apparently so." Cicállaé agreed, striding forward. Life began to follow, only to pause as the other abruptly stiffened, sensing something from the trees.
A whispering voice spoke forlornly, aged, confused, weary, and distraught as it contacted the treeskeleton.
What manner of creature dares strike such fear into my forest? Name yourself, so that I know what it is that I must battle. A feminine voice demanded, alarmingly frightened.
Life blinked, realizing the source and shocked at the wakefulness of the other. Cicállaé seemed equally surprised, though flooded with sadness.
Great Menoa, we mean you no harm, nor your forest whom we see as our cousins and family. It was not of our intention to alarm your kin, for they have become sensitive to our own distress. Nightmare answered, the merged being now resting a hand upon the trunk before them.
For what reason would my forest twist and cry for a walking creature without roots to taste the earth and leaves to drink of the sun? Why would a stranger invoke such panic as to have my forest twist and sway? She questioned disbelievingly.
But we are not without roots and leaves, oh Menoa. We taste the sun as you do. Dream explained.
How? The elf-tree demanded, now rooting through their minds, ignoring the goddess beside them as roots burst from the earth and wrapped around the treeskeleton's feet and legs. They paid it no mind, instead allowing the other to discover their strange biology.
..You grow, you feed upon the warm sun and have the core of an apple tree within you, yet you walk on two legs and speak as civilized folk. You feed as they do, you breathe as they do. What are you? She asked, bewildered.
We.. were aren't sure. We are like and unlike all others. We started much like one race, but now are becoming more like one, more like our mother each day. Dream admitted almost mournfully.
And we are here today for this very reason. We feared we would harm the bees, the birds and other nectar feeders if we bloom. We have never before borne blossoms, just as we have only recently become closer to one. We feared we may somehow poison others with our unusual magics and nature. Nightmare spoke.
And in your fear of harming the pollinators you frightened my forest? Menoa queried, not entirely understanding. The pines groaned and scraps of bark rained down as branches rubbed against one another.
No, it is somewhat more complex than that. Dream corrected.
We..
Our mother was an apple tree and died long ago. The memory of her death haunts us. We had the misfortune of remembering her quite.. vividly when we unexpectedly encountered a grove. We did not intend our pain to infect and frighten your forest so greatly. We are new to this form and it's effects on others. For this, we apologize. Nightmare explained bluntly and politely.
The sentient tree was puzzled.
How can a tree birth something so unlike itself? She asked, pines swaying and wood shrieking with movement. Cicállaé didn't reply at first, but when they did, it was hesitant, one half too emotional to respond.
If you are so.. confused, then we apologize. We were reminded of too much too suddenly. We ask that you give us time until we are ready to explain ourselves. Will you allow this, oh Menoa, matriarch of the forest?
She was irritated by this response, pines leaning in as panicked figures darted through the forest. The ground beneath Cicállaé suddenly bubbled, soft black earth pooling outward before more roots shot out and the god was tugged almost halfway into the earth before their branches held them up in alarm.
What is this?!
I will not risk my forest for the possibility of a lie. I will see the truth for myself.
Wait- no, Menoa please- 𝓓𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓭𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼! 𝔚𝔢'𝔯𝔢 𝔫𝔬𝔱- ⅈ'ꪑ ꪀꪮ𝕥 𝕣ꫀꪖᦔꪗ!
The merged god yelped as more roots reached up and forced them entirely under.
Life stood frozen in disbelief, one paw over her chest as she stared at the dark patch of earth, mind catching up.
As soon as she finally processed what she had seen, the Toriel swept open a portal and dashed through, arriving at the roots of the Menoa, her branches swaying as a small crowd of alarmed elves gathered at the border of the trees.
"Menoa!" She all but commanded, green light shimmering around her paws as she strode across the network of roots.
"They mean you no harm! They speak the truth! If you are so skeptical, then look through their memories yourself! They are still only a sapling!"
The great tree finally began to take notice of her, the wailing of shifting wood pausing as her swaying slowed.
Kind spirit, you have cared for my forest and helped many thrive. You understand I must protect what is mine, do you not?
Stopping before the trunk of the great tree between two massive roots, Life sighed, gently resting a paw on the bark.
"I understand. But please, understand that as you care for your forest, I watch over all forests and wildlife. That includes the young god you now hold captive beneath the soil. It was I who helped them to overcome their own memory of the past, just as it was by my mistake that I brought them to the grove. Forgive them, dear, for it was my own forgetfulness that began this."
The tree groaned, leaning to the side as it pondered. Menoa was silent awhile, not dormant, but thinking. Life patiently waited, only to tense as she sensed the other pines start to rock side to side, unearthing their own roots as they shrieked, branches squealing against each other, each pine grinding it's branches in a collective rumble that shook the earth.
Crimson eyes widening, Life spoke. "What are you doing to that poor dear?" She could feel hundreds of small creatures be crushed or thrown, falling or suffocating beneath shifting earth. The forest was hurting its own denizens.
Libra? Menoa's baffled, whispering voice echoed.
"Menoa, stop this, you are harming the forest! The trees will uproot themselves!" Life cried.
As if to confirm this, one great pine cracked, then moaned as it tilted to the side, crashing down into the clearing, roots exposed to the air, clumps of earth clinging to them.
A wail sounded from the great tree and the surrounding forest before it all began to still, the guardian of the forest writhing.
My child..
Life clutched her robes up and began running across the grinding, twisting web of roots, leaping until she stood at the side of the fallen giant.
"Release Cicállaé, I will right this wrong." She ordered, the green shimmer of her power overcoming the dark boughs of the massive pine.
A splash of color swooped down and landed across from her, many eyes blinking. She glancing over at the formed god, huffing.
"Help me, Seraphim."
The other hesitated, mutely indicating the Menoa swaying in place.
My child, among my eldest. It is too soon for their fall. Help them, they must stand. Help them.
She gave the skeleton a pointed glare, and the many eyes averted awkwardly before he huffed and started lifting the entire tree with blue magic.
"NO! Don't lift it like that, you'll snap the remaining roots!" She cried, setting a paw on the trunk in concern.
"It would regrow them though, wouldn't it?" He asked, baffled.
"That won't do, not at all. Roots of this size are difficult to heal yet necessary, or the pine will be unable to keep itself standing. Here."
She guided him, gently tilted the massive trunk until it was back in place, several dozen roots emerging from the earth to guide it back down and into place, anchoring it.
The goddess then bent over, reaching out to heal the damaged roots beneath. Seraphim stood behind her, puzzled as he glanced at the still swaying Menoa.
"Er.. why is the big one.. moving?"
"She is distraught, Seraphim. She perceived danger to her forest. Now go, look for the Twins, she has them captive underground."
"What?!"
No. The tree interrupted both of them wearily, tremendous roots grinding and unearthing themselves.
Take the little apple blossom. I have seen.. I have seen enough. Take the sapling to warmer climes. They do not belong in this northern forest..
With that, a sinkhole grew before them, black soil collapsing around a trembling pile of gold-tinted leaves. Life stiffened at the near hysterical mumbling in the pit before darting down.
"Soarta aceea blestemata. Blesteme pentru eternitate. Urăsc, urăsc-i pentru totdeauna. A fost vina mea! De ce?! Cum aș putea, de ce, de ce, de ce?!" The muttering shifting into sobbing as she gathered the merged being into her arms, trying to recall the language they raved in.
"Liniște acum, lasă trecutul acolo unde îi este locul. Nu ești acolo." She murmured, the ground rumbling as the roots slid back over the hole, the god sobbing streaks of blue-green.
"A fost vina lor!" They snapped, clawing at their face.
Seraphim was watching in bewilderment as she took the hands in her paw. "Încă tu însuți. Nu face bine să te rănești." She stated as she strode into the woods.
"Ucis... ucis Mama. Era o altă cale, o altă cale! De ce am ucis-o pe Mama?!" One voice demanded hysterically.
"De ce am fost atât de orb? Atât de lamentabil de ignorant a ceea ce este evident? Ignoranța a distrus totul!" Another voice wailed softly.
"Atât de multe ar fi putut fi altfel, atât de mult, atât de mult pierdut, o, Mamă, îmi pare atât de rău, atât de rău.." Several boughs wrapped around her shoulders as Cicállaé curled inward, listlessly inconsolable. The pines around groaned, sharing in the sense of loss and shame.
"Nu a fost niciodată vina ta. Erai prea tânăr." Life tried to console the rambling god, but they would not hear it. The god of emotion was lost in it. Life could only watch on in sadness and regret, holding their small form as she returned to her gardens, doing all she could to comfort the little treeskeleton.
Sitting down in the glade, Life quietly pet the other on the skull, allowing them to cry and mumble, occasionally switching from Romanian to another tongue, rarely muttering something in English.
The sun continued its gradual descent to the horizon, shadows lengthening until it was late evening, and the merged being drifted off, leafy limbs spread across the grass as their body slumped against the soft fur of the goddess.
She regarded the almost peaceful figure, then slowly extricated herself from the mess, reaching into a portal and propping a few pillows around them and a thick quilt to keep in the warmth.
With that, the Toriel stepped away, sighing softly. "Goodnight, Adfectus. Old young friend."
Her gentle footsteps were soundless against the ground, carrying her further and further away.
Blearily, a set of multicolored, blue-green, purple-yellow eyelights revealed themselves in their sockets, sleepily replying.
"Noapte bună, Samsara.."
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