mentions of suicide trigger warning! (vulcan is not a good person, guys)

this is also a pretty gory chapter, sorry

Taura is long gone, so worthless to us that not even Orion goes after her. Vulcan takes off first, his sword left abandoned on the ground, soon picked up by Terra. 

I follow right after, not wanting to miss anything, because this is the Hunger Games, and every second matters here. We run and run until all the breath is gone from my lungs and the clearing approaches ahead, so completely ruined that what little breath I still have is taken away.

The cornucopia is filled with ashes and small flickers of orange flame, smoke rising up into the bright blue sky, forming gray, smoggy-looking clouds. 

Apollo screams, although it is more of a roar, deep and hoarse. Beside me, Vulcan takes his sword from Terra and throws it as hard as he can, the blade digging a small trench in the nearby sand. 

"Fuck!" he yells, a crowd of birds fluttering up into the air, startled by the noise. "Fuck!"

Terra is silent on the other side of him, her eyes trained on the cornucopia, the look in them hollow. A slight wind tussles her blonde hair, small strands waving about, watching as Vulcan picks up his sword again, gripping the hilt viciously. 

I look away. Terra isn't my concern right now--nor will she ever be, not again; I won't let her be. 

A laugh echoes through the forest, deep and ominous. Vulcan spins, eyes wide and panting hard, looking for the source of the voice, finding nothing. 

"Come and face us, you fucking coward!" he screams, his voice shaking like nails on a chalkboard, face bright red. His hands are balled into fists, so tight his fingers are almost white. 

"I need to get out of here," I say, but my voice is so quiet and the laughing is so loud, and no one hears. They preoccupy themselves with dread for an upcoming future of starvation, with regret for the choice we made without Mei, the decision to leave no one behind as a guard. 

I think of those things, too, but they aren't the only things on my mind. Behind all else sits a primal fear. It lurks in the darkness, a large, growling beast, waiting for its moment to attack. 

When Vulcan's eyes flicker to me, its mouth opens to reveal large fangs, glistening with blood not yet shed. 

"You," he says, shaking with rage as he stumbles before me, back straight, figure taller than I could ever be. "You did this."

"I didn't do this," I say weakly, and even I can recognize that it is not a good defense, a far shot from my usual harsh retorts. 

"You were planning it this whole time, weren't you? Did you meet up with those fucking whores and help them stab the shit out of Mei, then lie to our fucking faces about it?"

His tone is not a question, but I ignore Terra's accusatory glare to answer, my voice even yet not quiet. "Shut the fuck up, Vulcan. You know that's not true." I have regained my biting words, if only a little bit.

I'd like to say I don't want them dead, that I would never lie, but I think all of us here know there's no way that could ever be true. 

"Oh, do I?" he asks snarkily, moving up even more until he is right in front of my face, forcing me to look up to meet his eyes. His breath is hot on my forehead, and smells of seafood. 

I don't respond. 

"Do I, Four?" he repeats, his voice almost a roar, hoarse from days of speaking in the same tone, spending every moment on edge. 

"Yes, you fucking do," is my response, but it is too quiet and too shaky and even Vulcan can see that, even Vulcan can make decisions about my personality based on that one little sentence. 

"You little liar," he says, one finger finding my chest, digging into my skin right above where I know my heart rests, beating too fast beneath layers of delicate flesh. His other hand closes around the hilt of his sword, and my heartbeat rises even higher, breathing shallow, as if even the slightest move could send that sword straight through my forehead. "I should've killed you on the first day--and I would've, too, if Terra hadn't stepped in."

He says her name like a curse word, as if it is too disgusting to even mention. 

"She shouldn't have," I say in an attempt to avoid my throat being slit, earning a momentary glare from the protector in question. 

"Wish I didn't," Terra says, not meeting my eyes. 

Vulcan smiles wide, teeth not quite yellow, but certainly getting there. His face crinkles, reminding me of the dress I wore to the reaping, all tulle and velvet, creases lining the skirt. It's not an unpleasant memory, but certainly isn't one I'd like to dwell on, either. "Oh, look, the pretty girl agrees. Why don't we all fix our mistakes right now, then?"

Terra looks at Vulcan then, and I pretend to see a hint of regret in her eyes as she turns and walks away, leaving me to my death. 

I take a step back, because despite what promises I have made to myself and my dead sister in the past, I won't go down without a fight. I won't let myself become a spectacle, torn apart by the vicious career whose mind was lost long ago. 

"We don't have to go that far," says Apollo, but Vulcan doesn't seem to hear, his sword fully out of the sheath by now, the tip pointed to my face, resting just before my nose. It does not touch me, but I can feel the danger emanating off the cold metal, the threats hidden within the dried blood caked along its blade. It chills my blood and runs a stream of dread through my bones, but I hold my ground, squaring my shoulders subtly. 

"Try it," I say, my voice cool, collected. Beneath it lurks a heavy undertone of fear, but I'm determined not to let it show--because if I cry, if I scream, the smile on Vulcan's face will only widen, his urgency to watch the life leak out of me will only heighten. 

"Oh, you ready to die, are you?" he sneers, shaking slightly. I can't tell if it's from anger or pure insanity, although his face is a blotchy red that suggests the former. "Can't blame you, really. I'd want the same if I were you."

I take a deep breath in, out. 

"I mean, being betrayed by everyone you love! It hurts, doesn't it? Your dad, your Terra... it's gotta tear you apart, Four. I bet it feels like a thousand knives under your skin, digging and scraping and always, always painful. Is it agonizing? Do you hate it?"

A shiver runs through my body at Vulcan's gory descriptions, but there is a small thought in the back of my mind that wonders how he can illustrate those feelings so vividly--he must have some sort of experience with them, but now is absolutely not the moment to mention that.

"Kill me already," I say, repeating the fatal sentiment. "Get it over with. I'm done with you."

This brings a smile to his face, although it is more of a grimace, very much not lighting up his features in the way a usual grin would. "I wouldn't dream of it," he says, his voice low and smooth, like silk. I suck in my breath and close my eyes, waiting for pain that doesn't come.

There is a scream and a whoosh of air by my face as Vulcan falls, landing with a thump and a sickening crack on the hard, ashy ground. His hands wrap around the arrow embedded in his eye, his expression reminiscent of the terror he surely felt in his last moments. 

His last moments, because Vulcan is dead. I can see it in the sudden stillness of his chest, can hear it in the cannon piercing through the air, can feel it in my chest, the knot of stress and anxiety that loosens with the knowledge that my tormenter is gone, forever. 

Orion goes for me. He is farther off, but he is a fast sprinter and it's not long before he's reached me, his spear abandoned near the cornucopia but his hands surely able to do damage enough. He bodyslams me to the ground, where I fall with a grunt, the hard dirt not very comfortable at all. His hands close around my throat and I close my eyes, waiting for the snap of a broken neck and the peaceful ending of death. 

But, surprisingly, it doesn't come. For the second time this week the weight on my chest goes slack, and Orion falls off of me, limp, proved dead by the cannon that soon goes off. 

I don't hesitate in pushing him off of me, wiping the wet from my eyes and blinking to make them less blurry, surveying my surroundings to be sure that an arrow won't pierce my throat as well.

Apollo stares at me for a second, the bow in his hand--Terra's--dropping to the ground, as if in shock. He spares a glance at the blonde girl beside him, and then gulps visibly, and runs. 

Terra doesn't follow him, maybe in surprise or maybe for some other unseen reason--although I could be just making that one up in my head, blinded by hope. 

Neither of us speak for a moment, my eyes stained red from tears, the rest of me red from blood that isn't mine. I stare at Terra and she watches a spot just above my head, thinking. 

"We'll go back to the island," she decides finally, and I move, almost startled. 

"What?"

"We'll go back to the island. The supplies are destroyed, but you're from Four, you can fish. We can find water in the woods. We'll survive."

I'm silent for a second. "I thought you hated me, Terra. You said you hated me." 

My voice shakes, but whether it's from fear or shock, I don't know. 

"I don't hold a grudge," she responds, meeting my gaze for the first time in a while. The look in her eyes suggests something different--it is nowhere near kind, yet most certainly meaningful. 

I don't believe her, yet I smile anyways. 

"Good."

almost wrote 'I suck in my eyes and close my breath' over there oopsies 🙃

also this chapter went so fast?? like it's rly long but also that ending kinda doesn't fit a little bit so idk

ik i haven't published in a while so tysm for reading <3<3<3