And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends / I'd never walk Cornelia Street again / That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend / I'd never walk Cornelia Street again /

RYKER

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked her for the hundredth time and yet, each time, I still felt like I needed to ask her one last time. I was looking at her patiently, nervously. Although I was giving her a choice right now, I was not sure if I would survive if she chose to say no. If she chose to be with 'him' and not me. Despite everything else, I knew her well, and I was not blind. I knew how her eyes lit up every time he was around. I could feel her gaze on him linger several seconds longer. They had grown up together, and every damn time, I had been the outsider because of the damn age gap. Every day for the last eighteen years, I'd had to endure watching her with 'him'. And even though she had not said it to 'him', I could tell from her eyes and her body movement that she loved him and who was I to blame? She was free to choose, free to love, and he was her best friend. The one person who had always been there for her. I was nothing compared to him.

And right now, looking at her, I could tell that there was a sliver of doubt in her beautiful eyes. I knew she was not sure. I could tell that she was weighing her option between being with her Chosen Mate — 'him' — and not me, her Fated Mate. On one side, she wanted to like me, she wanted to love me the way she loved him, but she wasn't sure she could do it, especially when her heart longed for 'him'. On the other side, she knew that being with me was the right thing to do that she was the Future Luna and she should be with her Fated Mate, the one that Moon Goddess had chosen for her.

After a while, the battle in her eyes finally disappeared. She, for once, had made a decision instead of giving both me and 'him' an equal chance. I braced myself for the worst. I braced myself for her rejection. Powerful I may be, being the Alpha and all, I knew that a rejection from her would still hurt like hell. But even so, I would respect her decision and give my blessings to both of them because I loved her. So. Fucking. Much. I only wanted her to be happy. No matter who she would be happy with. Even if it meant that I had to let her go to 'him'.

"Yes," she replied at last. I took a sharp breath, not sure if I had been hearing things or if she had just given me the answer I had been wanting. "Yes, I am sure I want to be with you. I chose you," she said once again, her red lips opened and closed, giving me the invitation as well as tempting me to close the gap between our mouths and kiss her.

"Forget what I said last night," I demanded huskily, groaning suddenly as I caught her up in my arms. My only desire was for her to forget everything that had happened, if only for this moment. "I don't know what you've done to me, woman. I think you must have bewitched me. Right here and now I don't give a damn how many other men there have been. And I don't give a damn if one of them is my very own flesh and blood."

"There might be a little problem." She shuddered a little.

"What is it?" I asked, my eyes searching for hers. "Tell me."

"B-but I am inexperienced. I don't think you'll appreciate my lack of experience when it comes to this."

"So he never—" I paused, my throat constricted, and I was having trouble with words. I swallowed hard before then started again, "So he never touched you?" There was both wonder and surprise in my voice. I could not help it. I thought that 'he' would have had his way with her. He had always known to be the playboy of the family, after all, the rake, the wildest of all. And she was just too innocent. Surely 'he' would have no trouble persuading her to share his bed, taking advantage of her love and trust for him.

"No." She shook her head. "He always insisted that we both need to find our mates first. That we should wait until we are certain."

"That is not a problem." I gave out a small sigh. I had never thought that I had misjudged 'him'. Still, I failed to understand why she thought I would be appalled by this. Instead, I rejoiced in the fact that she hadn't done it with 'him'. In less than a few seconds, my arms were around her as I carried her into my bedroom, kicking the door closed behind me. I put her down on the bed, quickly stripping off my clothes while keeping my eyes on her face the whole time. A smile curled in my mouth when I registered her soft flush. "It is all right. You will soon get used to me."

Her body shivered slightly as the bed dipped under my weight. I didn't linger over removing her clothes, and at first, I could tell that she was quite embarrassed at being with me like this, with full daylight pouring in through the windows and playing on our bodies, emphasizing all their contrasts. But when my hands started to move over her, caressing her, I could see the embarrassment slowly fading from her feature instead, it was replaced by a wave of pleasure that engulfed her. Her arms clung to me, delighting in the feeling of my body pressing against hers. Her breasts swelled into my hands, her nipples tight and eager for the moist heat of my mouth. Without a second thought, I sucked them gently, lingering over the delicate caress until she was mindless with pleasure, opening to the touch of my hand between her thighs.

"Love me. Only me," I groaned, the words against her lips, kissing her with a fierce passion that made my body surge achingly. I wanted nothing but to be inside of her right this very second and yet I managed to hold myself back, telling myself that she was not ready.

My mouth moved across her neck, pausing to bite the side of her throat and I had that urge to mark her right then and there, but then I remembered who she was. I remembered she wanted a wedding, with a beautiful white gown. Growing up, that was all she had talked about. Not to me, of course, but to 'him'. And I wanted to give that to her, all of that. Everything that made her happy. I would gladly even give my life if anything else was not enough. As long as she was happy. As long as she was with me and not 'him'.

I slid down her body to her right breast and looked up at her, then I opened my mouth and sucked her nipple inside. I drew her hard into my mouth while I palmed her other breast. She moaned in pleasure. Her body arched towards me, telling me to take whatever I needed. Then I realized right then and there that I cared if she was going to be with someone else, especially 'him'.

"Mine. You are mine, Xyrra. No one else's." I was not quite sure whether I was trying to assure her or myself. Whichever it was, I hoped she got the point across.

I turned my attention to her other breast and stabbed at her nipple with my tongue. My rough hands kneaded soft flesh and I could feel her nails raking my back. She liked this. She preferred these rough, male hands compared to 'his' soft ones. This should not come as a surprise. I was the Alpha after all and yet coming from her, this was different. This was so much more.

So I kissed and bit my way down her body. I kissed her belly before continuing to her hip and stopping at her inner thigh. She looked at me beneath her heavy lids. Her eyes were so beautiful. She was goddamn beautiful, and she was mine. Mine alone. I put her legs over my shoulders, then parted her thighs and took her into my mouth. I knew I was rough on her, but it did not seem to matter because she liked it rough; she liked this. She liked me! My mouth ravished her like she was strictly there for my own goddamn pleasure alone. I ravished her with my mouth and tongue until she screamed my name. I put one hand on her mouth, needing her to keep it quiet. I did not want anyone to come here, especially not 'him'.

Within a few quick minutes, she reached her orgasm. Her body shuddered in pleasure. She was gasping for air as if she had run a marathon and she looked so radiant. I stayed there with her, but once the wave of pleasure had disappeared; I moved up, ready to do it. Ready to finally become one with her. She was ready for me. I knew she was.

Yet at the last second, instead of reaching out for her hips and drawing our body together, a blast of light hit me. I blinked, trying to see clearly. My hands tried to reach for something, anything, in order to stop this. When I could finally see, the view in front of me shocked me to my core. She was there lifeless, with blood all over her body. Blood was everywhere and so were the multiple stab wounds on her body. All across her torso and all the way to her stomach, almost as if the person who had done this simply close his eyes and continuously stabbed her.

"No. No. No." I shook my head and I could feel tears threatening to fall. I followed the patches of blood and realized that it all came to me. I looked down, and to my horror, realized that I was holding a knife. The one who had stabbed her was me. The back of my hand touched my mouth as I stared in horror, but then I realized that her blood was also on my mouth.

I had done this to her. Me. Out of all people. I had killed the one person who I loved, the one I had sworn to protect. The grief and guilt were all churning in my heart, along with an inordinate amount of shock.

Then suddenly all I could see was darkness and a few seconds later, I was once again awake in my bedroom.

"What the fuck?!"

Sweating and panting. And realizing that the nightmare had not stopped. Instead, it had only gotten worse. Somehow, the dream and the nightmare had merged into one. The dream of having sex with Xyrra and the nightmare of the night my brother had been killed. 

* * *

Cat got your tongue, yes?