double update dahil malakas kayo sa 'kin...at dahil mahal ko kayo. thank u for all the love and support :(

warning(?) na marupok si maureen hehe

*

GUSTONG magalit ni Maureen.

Nineteen na siya. One year na since Inggo de Paz happened.

Nag-decide siya na tama na ever since she kissed him and it got thrown back in her face, when he became cruel enough to flaunt his flings in front of her, refuse to get in the car while she was driving and blatantly state he was going for a fuck, and make their relationship—or lack thereof—crystal clear.

Nakuha na ni Maureen, e. Gets niya kung bakit siya sinundan no'ng nag-dinner sila ni Michael—he was worried kahit wala siyang karapatan maging worried. Pero bakit niya nilagay kamay niya sa hita niya?

Bakit happy meal ang nasa desk niya pagpasok niya ng kwarto?

She locks her door, throws her bag on her bed, and sits down in front of the table. May spaghetti, fries, Coke, at hot fudge sundae na kasama ang red box na may smiley face. May fry na nakatusok sa sundae, at sa tabi ng spaghetti, may note with his handwriting:

make a wish, rinn. also, spag raw is for long life and good health. so kahit busog ka na, kainin mo to.

Sa kanya lang talaga siya bossy. Maureen bites her lip and takes a deep breath before reaching out for the box.

There are three toys inside with a sticky note attached to each one. Maureen unwraps the first plastic and finds a very small plushie of a koala with big blue eyes and pink ears. A Ty Beanie Boo.

karli raw pangalan nito. loyal daw and caring and likes to be with family kaya she wants to join yours. snuggle buddy kung kailangan mo. will stay the night. #triedandtested

A laugh escapes her mouth at the mental image of Kuya Inggo snuggling with this koala...then Maureen realizes she's not supposed to be laughing and schools her face back into an indifferent one. She clears her throat and folds the note neatly, then moves on to the second toy.

This one is a brown Goldendoodle with big brown eyes and a cute smile.

ito si noodles pero canton tawag ko sa kanya. mukha siyang pancit canton. chili-mansi >>> kalamansi canton tawag mo sa kanya, ok?

He remembers the flavor she likes. Tuwing gumagawa kasi si Kuya Inggo sa kitchen, nagpapasabay na rin si Maureen.

Tinabi niya si Canton at binuksan ang last na bag.

This last plush toy is black with big golden eyes and long arms.

this is dangler, sloth siya. pinili ko kahit panget kasi marami pa siyang stock, and if you were there with me, you wouldve chosen the one na hindi laging pinipili, kaya ito. alam kong mamahalin mo siya kahit ganito itsura niya.

Maureen sucks in a deep breath.

Before she can fully process everything that's happening, she finds a final piece of paper inside the box. With a hard swallow, she opens it with shaking fingers.

nasabihan ko na silang lahat, si karli, canton tsaka si dangler na alagaan ka or else lagot sila sakin babatukan ko sila tsaka itatrap sa laundry pag ligo time.happy birthday, rinn. sana napatawad mo na ko for last year. for everything ive done to hurt you. its never what i wanted. - i.d.p.

Gusto niyang magwala sa halong inis at kilig at saya na nararamdaman niya.

Ang unfair, tangina. Maureen wants to be angry. She should be angry. How dare he do this to her, confuse her, make her want to love him even more?

Maureen hugs her knees to her chest and bows her head, feeling her tears fall to her toes.

Oh, he's breaking her heart.

Ang wish niya is sana tigilan nang gawin ni Kuya Inggo 'yon.

*

Maureen goes as far as staying out of the house when Kuya Migo leaves for his bro trip with Kuya Inggo.

She doesn't look at both their Instagram stories kahit mamatay na siya sa curiosity niyang malaman anong suot ni Kuya Inggo, kahit gustong-gusto na niya marinig boses niya, kahit she wants to tattoo his smile at the back of her eyelids para kahit tulog siya, 'yon pa rin ang nakikita niya.

Putangina, baliw siya. Gaga. She would die for him in combat and lose hearing in one ear kapag may isang araw siyang hindi minahal si Kuya Inggo. Bwisit. Hindi naman siya iniisip o na-mi-miss ng tao. Nasa iba ang attention niya.

Maureen meant what she said to him in the car. Parang kasing naniniwala si Kuya Inggo that all he can offer—all he can be—is a warm body to satisfy someone else's.

It breaks her heart that he won't know or believe that she fell in love with his mind, his wit, his personality, his sense of humor, his ambition, his childishness, his maturity, his mannerisms and laughter and smell and voice and—

"Mau," sabi ng mom niya, entering her room after knocking once. She smiles hesitantly at her. "Kain ka na with us."

Maureen's lips press together. "Who's us?"

Her mom sighs. "He's not here, he's having dinner with Jiya."

She sits up so quickly she bangs her head on her headboard. "Ate Jiya?!"

Ayun, tinawagan niya future sister-in-law niya.

"Mau," bati niya.

"Ate! Did you eat with my dad?" she bites out incredulously. "Bakit? Why? Stay away from him!"

Ate Jiya sighs on the other line, well aware of her hostility against her father. "Mau, I know you guys aren't on good terms, pati sila ni Migo, pero hindi ko rin kayang tumanggi. I'm sorry."

Maureen frowns, picking at a thread on her bedsheet. "Does Kuya know?"

"I'll tell him pag-uwi niya," Ate Jiya answers. "Are you mad at your Ate Jiya?"

Maureen huffs and whines, "Ate naman e. He's just trying to get close to you para may malaman about Kuya kasi hindi siya kinakausap."

"I know that," Ate Jiya tells her gently. "But he was also grateful he got a chance to get to know me. Ano ka ba, magiging daughter-in-law ako n'on."

She manages a small laugh. Then she sighs, shoulders slumping. "Fine." She pauses, swallowing. Normal namang sigurong alamin kung kamusta na sila, 'di ba? "Kamusta raw sila ni...ni Kuya Inggo?"

"Mau, wait. Are you free?"

She blinks. "Huh?"

"Nakabihis ako and sayang if umuwi na lang ako. You wanna catch a movie and a manicure? Kahit sa UPTC lang, let's go on a date."

Maureen gasps and squeals. "Really? Wait." She narrows her eyes. "You're not bribing me para hindi ko sabihin kay Kuya na you and our dad ate together, are you?"

"Bakit ko gagawin 'yon if may pang-blackmail ako na I saw you and Inggo together that one time sa mall?" Ate Jiya returns sweetly.

Maureen nods and stands up. "Alam mo, Ate Jiya, madali akong kausap, magbibihis na ako. I'll meet you there! Mwa!"

Ate Jiya doesn't let her take out her wallet once—para talaga siyang ate niya na kakakuha lang ng sweldo at kailangang i-treat ang mas batang kapatid. They roam around UPTC, shopping while waiting for their movie, tapos nag-relax sila by getting their nails done. Ate Jiya takes a selfie to send to Kuya Migo.

Maureen watches Ate Jiya while she talks to her kuya and feels a pang of longing and envy. Kailan kaya siya magkakaroon ng taong gusto siyang i-text o i-update kung nasaan na siya?

Ate Jiya laughs out loud, and Maureen throws her a look. "Ate, same kayo ni Kuya na kinikilig 'pag magkausap kayo sa text."

Her grin widens and her eyes brighten. "Really?"

Maureen sighs and lies back down on her chair.

Ang daya, pota. Gusto rin niyang kiligin. Gusto rin niyang makipag-flirt, maka-receive ng texts na sweet, mag-miss ng tao na i-mi-miss rin siya.

Piliin naman siya this time.

*

Nanonood siya ng favorite movie niya when there's three, quiet knocks on her door.

Maureen frowns, setting aside her laptop on the bed and throwing off the covers. Ngayon na balik nina Kuya Migo, pero alam niyang sa Burgundy siya uuwi with Kuya Inggo at doon rin siya hinihintay ni Ate Jiya. "Kuya? Kala ko sa Burgundy—"

Napaatras si Maureen when she finds Kuya Inggo at the other side of the door, wearing a hesitant smile and a yellow hoodie, one hand hidden behind his back. Naka-jeans pa siya 'tsaka amoy kotse siya...which means kauuwi pa lang niya sa Burgundy tapos pumunta siya dito?

"Kuya Inggo," Maureen whispers, stunned.

He rubs the nape of his neck and leaves his palm there, looking at her shyly. "Hi."

Oh, his damn voice. She hasn't heard it in weeks, not since that disastrous night when she had dinner with Michael. Maureen stayed away from the house, went out a lot with her friends, didn't see him off when he left for Ate Jiya's birthday celebration just a week ago sa yacht and when he left on that trip with Kuya Migo.

And now he's here. Here. Outside her room.

Suddenly becoming aware of this fact, Maureen hugs herself around her torso, suddenly thankful she's wearing a huge Ateneo hoodie. This, however, doesn't cover her bare legs, especially since she put on tight gym shorts lang, but Kuya Inggo's eyes are focused solely on her face.

Wala siyang makeup. Naka-bun lang ang buhok niya. Mukha siyang dried eggplant.

"Uh, what...I mean, why...you're here," she says intelligently.

Kuya Inggo lets out a chuckle. "Yeah. Sorry. Uh...pinalayas ako ni Jiya sa Burgundy."

Maureen blinks. Hindi niya alam kung paano siya pinalayas sa sarili niyang bahay, pero it's Ate Jiya, and with Ate Jiya, hindi imposible. "Uh...okay, so you want to stay in Kuya Migo's room?"

"No," Kuya Inggo says quickly, pinning her with his stare. "No. I wanted to see you."

She...she is so confused.

"Ji was so mad at Migo," he explains quietly, running his hand up the strands of his messy and soft hair, and Maureen has this urge to bury her face in his neck and massage his scalp and touch his hair—"Late kami ng uwi nang two hours because I lost my phone and deadbatt si Migs. She was worried out of her mind. She was crying and shaking so bad."

Maureen didn't even know Kuya Migo's ETA. Alam lang niya na today ang uwi niya, at nakauwi na siya when he texted their family group chat.

She didn't know Ate Jiya was probably going through hell, waiting for Kuya Migo in an empty condo and imagining the worst possible scenarios.

"And..." Kuya Inggo clears his throat. "Wala, ayun, pinalayas ako. Mag-self-reflect daw ako sa ginawa ko. And...napunta ako dito."

Maureen stares at him.

Tinatanong ba niya if Maureen would've been as worried if she were to Kuya Inggo what Ate Jiya is to Kuya Migo?

Kasi, putangina, oo.

She'd feel like she was walking through hot coals waiting for him to come home, too. To come back to her.

Kuya Inggo puts his hand out in front of him. It's a bag of food—Frankie's. "I don't want to make things awkward for Migo. And...I was thinking...how about that movie invitation?" he asks quietly. Shyly. "I hope I'm not too late."

Maureen wants to kick him out. She should.

Ayaw niya lang na maging awkward sila around each other ulit para kay Kuya Migo.

Kick. Out.

But when he smiles at her nervously, like he knows what she's thinking and he doesn't want her to do it, and asks, "Kamusta nga pala si Canton, Karli, at Dangler?"

Wala nang laban si Maureen.

Lagi namang wala pagdating kay Kuya Inggo.

She opens her door wider and gestures to her desk. "Inaalagaan ako as you instructed. Baka raw ma-stuck sa washing machine."

Kuya Inggo's answering laugh...a laugh is supposed to end at the ears, pero yung kanya, umabot at binalot ang buto ni Maureen, laman, balat, dugo, puso.

Oh, this is torture.

Kuya Inggo may be the one breaking her heart, but she's also helping him.