INGGO: taga abs-cbn ka ba tinatanong ni mama kung kailan ka na namin magiging kapamilya

The laugh that bubbles out of her during class almost makes her forget about her problem.

Na-meet na niya ang parents ni Inggo last weekend dahil "hindi ko na kaya ang pangungulit ni Mama, tangina, dinner at seven tonight," at walang kwenta ang kaba ni Maureen na baka hindi siya magustuhan o baka hindi niya magustuhan si Tita de Paz dahil sa sinabi sa kanya ng boyfriend niya before because his parents adored her and she saw how his mother clearly smothered Inggo with her love, clearly happy for him.

Sinabi din sa kanya ng nanay ni Inggo that her greatest regret was during the first six years of his life, but that she's glad Inggo has forgiven her and has allowed her to love him as she should've from the start.

"Take care of my son, hija," Tita told her with a big smile. "And love him just as much as you do now."

Maureen promised her she would. It's impossible not to.

She types her reply.

your mom might love me more than you

Inggo: hmm. ano yon, twinkie?

Ugh. Her face heats.

Ever since Maureen told him na he can come inside her na since she put herself on the pill, he has been insufferable and elated.

"Ano 'yon, bavarian munchkin?"

"Ano 'yon, mayonnaise packet?"

"Ano 'yon, cinnamon bun?"

And incredibly insatiable. If it were possible, dumoble pa nga ang appetite ni Kuya Inggo for sex.

And strong na ang appetite niya in the first place, ah.

She rolls her eyes, but she's smiling.

i will let that slide...only because i have something to tell you

His reply takes a little longer.

Inggo: sasabihin na natin kay migo?

Oh, the hope in his message makes Maureen's heart sink.

Na-meet na nga niya ang parents ni Inggo, but they told them na wala pang nakakaalam na iba because they still haven't told her brother yet.

Hindi ma-stomach ni Maureen na baka masira ang friendship ni Kuya Migo and Kuya Inggo.

Natatakot siya kasi alam niyang magiging kasalanan niya.

None of the two boys will blame her or resent her for it. May tiwala si Maureen ngayon sa boyfriend niya when he said he can and he will fight for them to Kuya Migo, at alam naman niya na her brother will take her side. Before anyone else, there is no doubt in her mind that between Inggo and Maureen, ang pipiliin ni Kuya Migo is si Maureen.

When she takes too long to reply, Inggo sends another text.

Inggo: joke lang baby i know ure not ready yet. :) what is it?

So understanding. So patient.

Maureen could not have asked for more.

i know we havent seen each other in almost three weeks

Inggo: and ure coming to my place tonight so we can finally remedy that at gagawin kitang tres leches ready na swim team ko joke advance thinking lang ehe

Naging busy masyado si Maureen sa thesis niya—ang thesis na naging sagabal sa paglalandi niya (char not char) at ang data collection process na naging competition between Kuya Migo at Kuya Inggo to see sino sa kanila ang mas maraming mahihila na respondents para ma-meet ni Maureen ang minimum sample size (si Inggo ang mas maraming na-contribute)—na kinailangan niya ng time away from her boyfriend kasi hindi siya tinitigilan sa kama 'tsaka sa labas ng kama.

Pumunta pa ng Blue once si Inggo under the guise of bringing her food and coffee to "ease her stress" pero pinaiwan lang ni Maureen sa guard kasi alam niyang 'pag umakyat si Kuya Inggo, game over na. Hindi na niya made-defend ang sarili niya sa kanya at sa panel.

Inggo left, pouting. Tapos nag-send siya ng message no'n kay Maureen.

Inggo: im sad send dede

Pinagbigyan na lang ni Maureen kasi pumunta siya without seeing her.

Inggo: not sad anymore 👅 dont work too hard. call me before u sleep baby.

Napakadaling pasayahin.

E ngayong tapos na siya sa defense...

um actually...may period ako

Inggo: ANO PUTANGINA

Inggo: di mo ba pwedeng ilabas lahat ng dugo

Natawa si Maureen nang malakas.

Oh, her clueless and sweet and sexually-deprived boyfriend.

Three weeks without sex and—

Inggo: ok kung hindi kaya just come here. cuddles back rubs whatever. dito ka na sakin i cant breathe right.

Oh.

im crying

Inggo: HA SINO SUSUNTUKIN KO 🤺🤺🤺

Inggo: and lmk pag papunta ka na kasi nandito pa si migo. overtime na naman si ji sa work nyemas

Maureen bites her lip.

what will u tell him?

Inggo: mag-iisip akong reason to drive him out. dont worry, pretty baby.

It would be so much easier to just not worry.

To just have Kuya Inggo tell Kuya Migo na, "Papunta na dito si Rinn, gusto mong hintayin?" o "Papunta na dito si Rinn, baka gusto mo nang umalis."

Dapat sinabi na nila.

Sa mga times na kumakain silang apat together with Kuya Migo and Ate Jiya and Inggo can't stop staring at her and Maureen mouths, "Stop looking at me," habang hindi nakatingin ang lovebirds and he looks her up and down slowly while leaning back and spreading his legs and then says, "No." Sa mga times na nag-slip si Maureen sa kaka-"Inggo" niya at titingnan siya ni Kuya Migo at tatanunging, "Kailan pa naging 'Inggo' lang sa 'yo si Kuya Inggo?" at tatawa lang siya at iibahin ang subject hanggang makalimutan na ni Kuya Migo. Sa mga times na kinailangan nila pareho maglinis ng condo units nila at mag-make sure na walang naiwan na gamit kasi baka ma-recognize ni Kuya Migo ang gamit na 'yon at sabihing, "Kay Mau 'yan, ah. Ba't nandito?" o "Kay Inggo 'yan, ah. Ba't nandito sa condo mo?"

Dapat hindi napangunahan si Maureen ng takot.

Dapat hindi niya hinayaan si Inggo na magtiwala mag-isa.

Dapat nagtapat na sila sa kuya niya before it was too late.

*

He hasn't said it. He might not even feel it yet.

Pero parang nararamdaman na ni Maureen ang pagmamahal ni Inggo sa buto at balat niya whenever she wakes up in in his arms in the morning.

This one is no different...until she hears her brother yell, "De Paz! Gising, may test pa tayo, bobo—"

The horror that engulfs her begins with feeling only the bedsheets on her skin.

"Kuya!" she shrieks, bunching up the blankets around her body. "Oh my God!"

Oh, the confusion on her kuya's face. The shock. Putting what he's seeing together. The disbelief. The fury and the betrayal.

Ate Jiya puts a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide.

In Maureen's frantic movement and voice, nagising si Inggo. "Shit," he rasps, his voice heavy with sleep.

The dreadful seconds of him turning his head to meet his best friend's eyes feel like a knife slashing through her.

"Migs," he says.

One word and to her ears, it sounds like a plea.

Migs, let me explain.

Migs, it's not what you think.

Migs, seryoso kami.

Migs, tinago namin for too long, we're sorry.

Pero iba naman ang naririnig ni Kuya Migo. O mas akma bang sabihin na wala siyang marinig. "Magbihis kayo," he tells them, and Maureen feels her eyes beginning to burn from the lack of emotion in it and the loudness of its echo despite his quiet tone, shit, shit, shit. "Tapos lumabas ka, de Paz."

He slams the door closed and Ate Jiya follows after him.

She—she—

Wala na rin siyang ibang marinig aside from her slamming pulse and short breaths and the tears falling on his mattress.

"Rinn, baby, hinga." She feels his hands on her face, his eyes searching hers. "Breathe, breathe. Ako na bahala, everything's going to be fine. Breathe for me."

Hindi siya makagalaw. Hindi siya makahinga nang maayos. She lets him put on a shirt for her and slip her legs into her underwear and shorts before he dresses himself. Isa lang siyang flurry of movement sa paningin ni Maureen.

Until he kneels in front of her and kisses the shit out of her, cupping her face. "Rinn!" Inggo snaps, breathing hard. Oh, he looks ready for battle. He looks like he can take anything but this. "Rinn, trust me. Trust me. You trust me, right?"

The breath she takes shakes her whole being. "Yes," she whispers.

"That's all I need," he whispers back, wiping her tears. He gives her a smile. "Wait here."

Pero hindi siya pwedeng lumabas doon mag-isa.

With all her strength, she pulls him back before he can open the door and charges straight to her brother, putting her hands on his chest. The panic is seizing her bones pero ang importante ngayon is to make him see. "Kuya, wait lang, please don't be mad at him. Ako nagsabi na itago namin—"

Walang nagawa 'yon.

Hindi niya marinig si Maureen.

He simply pushes her aside and grabs her boyfriend to punch him in the face, murderous rage in every line of his face and body.

Inggo falls to the floor. "Fuck!"

"Kuya!" Maureen screams.

Kuya Migo holds him down and punches him again. "Tangina mo," he grits out. Punches him again. "Ano ginawa mo sa kapatid ko?"

Walang ginawa si Inggo to defend himself. His mouth is bleeding, and Maureen's heart is breaking watching the two men she loves, watching the two men who love each other, fight like this. "Migs, I'm not playing her around. Kami."

"Ulol. Sa ilang taon na kilala kita, never kang nagseryoso."

They should've told him. Maureen should've told him.

"Seryoso ako about her, mag-iisang taon na," Inggo tries to explain, turning his head to spit the blood out.

Mas lalo pang nagalit si Kuya Migo. He hits him again. "O ba't 'di mo sinabi, gago?!"

Hindi na alam ni Maureen kung nakakahinga pa ba siya. "Kuya, please, stop," she slurs, her vision blurred. "He's telling the truth. Please. Ako nagsabi na itago namin sa 'yo."

Nahila ni Ate Jiya si Kuya Migo away from Inggo. "Migo, listen to them muna."

"I will pagkatapos kong magalit. Ngayon, wala akong oras kasi may test pa tayo." He takes Ate Jiya's hand, and then they're gone.

Maureen kneels to the ground next to Inggo, cupping his face. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Inggo."

He smiles weakly at her despite his battered face and hugs her tight. "Lakas pala manuntok ng gago."

Maureen cries harder into his chest, clutching his shirt.

"Baby, I'm fine," Inggo says quietly, stroking her back. Siya na nga 'tong nasaktan, siya pa ang nagco-comfort kay Maureen. "I'm fine. Intindihin mo na lang kuya mo, Rinn. I would've done the same thing if I were in his place. Hmm? I'm fine, stop crying na, baby."

She can't. "What do we do?" she whispers, her voice cracking.

"For now, let's get you home," he whispers back, wiping her tears. "Pupunta akong school. I-ta-try ko siyang kausapin at mag-e-explain ako. Sa bahay ka muna kasi baka puntahan ka niya o gusto ka niyang kausapin muna mag-isa, it would be worse if magkasama pa rin tayo at that point. Bukas, if he still hasn't faced us both, then..." He takes a deep breath. "Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'll make things right with him, don't worry."

It's impossible not to worry.

She tends to his wounds, tapos inuwi muna siya ni Inggo sa bahay nila kasi hindi kaya ni Maureen mag-drive. He holds her hand the entire time and kisses her knuckles, and then her forehead and her temple and her lips. Bumalik lang siya sa kotse nang masiguro niyang wala nang luha sa mukha ni Maureen na hindi pa napupunasan.

He opens the window and sticks his head out with a smile and a wink that melts her. "Penge naman pang-energize para maharap ko kuya mo. Penge kiss—"

"I love you," Maureen says.

Inggo sucks in a sharp breath.

"I love you," she whispers again, cupping his face and brushing her thumb on the corner of his lips where it's swollen and red. "Please drive safe. Do well sa test today and tomorrow. I'll see you after it." She kisses him slowly.

And then Inggo drives away, taking her heart with him.