"PLEASE say something," Kuya Inggo whispers behind her.

The problem is that Maureen can't.

She's speechless.

He took her to a magical place. There's a makeshift tent with pillows and blankets and a small table with delicious food. May fairy lights and lanterns na naka-hang sa wall and over the tent and candles and rose petals on the ground.

Noooooo! iyak ng anghel niya. He's perfect, Mau! Talo na tayo!

Kanina pa tayo talo, bhie, sabi ng devil, balik na naman sa pagiging president ng Inggo de Paz fanclub. Kanina pa sa putanginang pottery studio.

Imagine mo 'yon, girl, kilig na sabi ng angel, sinipa-sipa si Maureen sa utak niya. You made Inggo de Paz do pottery! And plan a date! Haba ng hair natin.

"Rinn?"

Maureen snaps out of it, her heart thundering in her chest. She looks around and fingers the lights, tilting her head back, before looking at him. "You did this?"

Kuya Inggo stares at her, and Maureen wants to cry. Hug him. Kiss him. Something.

Because he looks like he's so afraid of her reaction, like he's worried she's going to yell at him to take her home.

Kanina pa napansin ni Maureen na kinakabahan siya.

"I booked the place weeks ago. And then I did this all morning," he answers quietly.

Maureen doesn't even know what to say.

Kuya Inggo reaches for her hand hesitantly and pulls her down to the blanket. "Mamaya ka na mag-isip," he tells her with a smile. "Kain muna tayo."

She follows his lead and sits down, and Maureen wants to hide away from his attention habang kumakain sila.

Hindi siya sanay sa ganito. Sa tingin ni Kuya Inggo, like he's hanging on to every word she's saying and every smile na tipid niyang binibigay na para bang takot siyang he'll miss it.

Hindi niya alam kung delusyon na naman niya 'to. Kung iiwan lang ba siya ulit ni Kuya Inggo 'pag nahulog na naman loob ni Maureen sa kanya.

Natatakot siyang laro o biro lang 'to.

Kuya Inggo holds out his hand for her when they're done eating. "Dance with me?"

Maureen takes his hand and stands up, heart stuttering. Kuya Inggo gives her a smile, wraps his fingers around her wrists to place her hands on his neck, and then puts his own on her waist.

His fingers fit on her body so perfectly.

The last time they danced was at her senior high prom, no'ng hindi sumulpot date ni Maureen.

She's never been so thankful that the asshole didn't come.

Late nang napansin ni Maureen na Can I Have This Dance? pa talaga ng High School Musical 3 ang tumutugtog.

It makes her smile. "You're pulling out all the stops," she murmurs, looking down at their feet.

Sinabi na rin kasi ni Maureen sa kanya before, na kung pumunta si Kuya Inggo sa debut niya, she would've loved to dance with him to this.

Ito na. Binibigay na niya.

"Well, you're worth it."

Maureen's breath catches. She raises her head to look at him, feeling her stupid, stupid eyes burn.

Bakit. Bakit siya gan'to, bakit hindi niya na lang pabayaan si Maureen makipag-date sa iba? Pinaglalaruan ba siya? Is he mocking her feelings for him? Is this ownership, making sure she gives all her pieces to him pero scraps lang ang binibigay ni Kuya Inggo sa kanya?

Is he manipulating her?

"Rinn, shit—"

She steps back, away from his hold, and puts her face in her hands. "Why are you doing this?" Maureen cries, her voice breaking. "Why do you say all the right things kung iiwan mo lang din ako the next morning? Why are you wasting your time and effort kung 'di ka naman magsa-stay? Can you take me back to Eastwood? Now, please?"

She turns around and heads to his car, not even bothering to stop to look at his tortured face.

They're both silent during the ride. Maureen tries to keep herself from crying like a fucking schoolgirl as she turns to the window.

When Kuya Inggo parks, she scrambles for the lock.

Pero he grabs her wrist and pleads, "Rinn, wait lang. Hindi kita pinaglalaruan, hindi 'to laro o joke para sa 'kin. I meant what I said. Will you please hear me out?"

She yanks her arm back and tries to look at him through her tears.

His Adam's apple bobs. "Rinn, I'm not using Migo as an excuse to avoid commitment with you. Oo, takot ako, takot akong gago kasi pinagkatiwalaan niya ako at sinira ko 'yon, pero...'yon nga, you're worth it. Bahala na kung patayin niya 'ko, pero I want to try this...if you still want me. I hope you do."

Tanga talaga siya pagdating kay Inggo de Paz. Winner ng mga tanga, first place, ampota.

"I've never..." He sucks in a breath. "I've never wanted to try. I didn't. And then you."

Maureen sniffles and whispers, "Me what?"

He stares at her. "And then you happened."

Nooooooooooooo.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Ilang taon at gabi na niyang pinangarap na sabihin sa kanya ni Kuya Inggo ang mga 'to?

"I need to think about this," sabi ni Maureen, swallowing thickly. "Natatakot ako."

"Shit, ako rin." He takes her hand and brings it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. "Rinn, let's try. Kung ayaw mo na talaga, if you really can't find it in you to trust me again..."

Maureen's chest aches at the thought.

Kuya Inggo smiles at her and brushes her hair behind her ear. "'Di ko alam ano gagawin ko at that point, pero sana hindi tayo makarating do'n."

*

Maureen really tried to look like she hasn't been crying.

Pero wala, e. Kitang-kita sa mukha niya.

Her kuya goes to get out of the car upon seeing her face, pero he stops moving when Maureen says in exhaustion, "Just take me home, Ate. Please."

Her sister-in-law looks at her brother pointedly.

Kuya Migo sinks back in his seat, his jaw clenching. "Mau—"

"Kuya, don't ask. I'm still mad at you, but I promise I'm fine. I just want to rest."

They leave her alone for the rest of the ride. When Ate Jiya parks in front of their house, Maureen leans forward to give her and Kuya Migo a kiss on the cheek.

Mukha pa ring galit kuya niya.

Ano kaya mukha niya if he finds out it's his best friend who made her cry?

Maureen smiles at him. "I'm fine, okay? I didn't like him naman talaga, this is about something else."

Kuya Migo looks at her and says slowly, "He could've had the decency to wait for you to be picked up."

"He would've if..." Maureen begins to say quietly and stops. If he were actually there for the date, pero pinalayas siya ng best friend mo. She pats Kuya Migo's cheek instead and smiles wider. "I'll go in na and sleep. Ate Jiya, thank you for the ride and for talking sense to him, mahal talaga kita. Kuya, stop worrying and go have...lovey-dovey time. Ew."

Kuya Migo smacks her head. "Kadiri ka. Pumasok ka na. And also..." He sighs. "I'm sorry, Mau."

That brings out a genuine smile on her face. "Love you, Kuya. And mas kadiri ka."

"Call me if you want to talk," Ate Jiya tells her gently.

Maureen waves at them and goes in, taking off her shoes.

She's so exhausted that she climbs into bed as soon as she's showered and dressed.

She's so exhausted, but she doesn't want to sleep—just in case everything that happened tonight was just a cruel dream.

Pero hindi. Hindi siya panaginip, kasi her phone buzzes with an incoming call from him.

Wala pang dalawang ring, sumagot na agad si Maureen. "Kuya Inggo."

Boba, sita ng anghel. Mukha kang ewan, dapat pinaabot mo ng tatlong rings man lang!

She winces.

"Hi, Rinn."

She buries her head in her pillow and kicks the mattress at his voice.

"Hi," she whispers.

Maureen can hear the shy smile in his voice when he says, "Going to bed na?"

"Yes. But I'm scared."

"Why?"

"Baka joke lang 'to bukas."

The silence is three seconds long.

Maureen bangs her head on her pillow. Boba. Tanga. Stupida. "Sorry, I—"

"It's not a joke or a dream, Rinn," Kuya Inggo tells her firmly. "I'm sorry I'm making you doubt me so much, but I promise that tomorrow, I'll still want you. I'll work to stop you from praying na sana it's real, from being scared of falling asleep...kasi sigurado ako. Takot ako, pero sigurado ako sa 'yo."

Maureen sniffles. "Sure ka bang wala ka pang naging girlfriend? You're good at this. 'Tsaka sa dates. A+. Ten out of ten."

The laugh she gets has her soul separating from her body.

Ngayon, imagine mo na ang sex nang may feelings siya sa 'yo. Talagang mamamatay na tayo, Mau.

She slaps herself at the thought.

"It's just gonna be you, baby," sabi ni Kuya Inggo, still laughing. "Shit, thanks sa feedback. I'll take care of Ollie, matulog ka na."

Maureen blinks. "Ollie?"

"Anong klaseng nanay ka?" Kuya Inggo clicks his tongue. "Bowl natin, Rinn."

Ah. HAHAHAHA. Shit.

Para silang baliw, ampota. "Okay," she whispers. "Goodnight, Kuya Inggo."

"Night, Rinn," he whispers back. "Papayagan kitang panaginipan ako. Pang-ilan ko na kayang guest appearance diyan..."

She flushes, rolling her eyes. "So arrogant."

"Only because I know it's true." Then his voice softens. "Tulog ka na. I'll be here tomorrow."

Kahit nakakatakot, she believes him.

It feels like falling face first into the water...pero parang nando'n si Kuya Inggo para saluhin siya.

Sana lang hindi siya bumitaw.

*

i'm finishing the book para isang bagsakan na ang chapters, but dropped some as a thank u for your patience! thank u for reading mwa tweet n'yo ako @arrowheadswp