I stared after her, hiding my hurt by flipping my hair into my eyes. What was up with that? Why was she ignoring me? I thought we were…I mean…Oh man. She wasn’t going to leave me right?

No, no, no. I could talk to her in study hall. We could work this out. Maybe she was just in a hurry to get to first period? Yea, that had to be it!

Jay came over to me as the warning bell rang. “Ready for first period?” I nodded and we walked there. Alex ignored me, still talking to Paige. They giggled and flipped their hair.

Jay and I sat down and suffered through first period until the bell rang and released us to study hall. I sat down and watched Alex walk in after Clifton.

“Alex?” I asked quietly. “What?” she asked flatly. I played with my snake bites. “Um, is something wrong?” “Nothing,” she snarled and texted on her phone.

My phone vibrated in my pocket a minute later and I opened it.

I’ll explain after school.

Oh.

Alright.

Defeated, I turned back to Cliff and Jay. I put my iPod on and a small smile took hold of my face.

I'm only sure of one thing
That's you right now
I hear your voice 
And what we talk about
And I'm trying to say
It won't come out
Yeah I'm trying to fix this broken mouth
And I'm wishing that I could take your hand
And set you on some untouched land
Just so you are never sad again
And you world you have known will somehow end
There's a beating to your heart
That I just can't be apart
I can feel the rain fall down on us together
Just wait for the sunshine
Let's wait for the new day
When we can't get away
It's me and you held close together
Hold on for the long ride
This won't be easy, Tonight
To hear my voice and know that I am here
I'm always there to wipe away your tears
I lay your hair behind your gentle ear
And tell you there is nothing more to fear
You are the reason I am the best I'll be
So let me stitch your heart so It won't bleed
And I won't rest until you finally breathe
'Cause I still love you more than anything
There's a beating to your heart
That I just can't be apart
I can feel the rain fall down on us together
Just wait for the sunshine
Let's wait for the new day
When we can't get away
It's me and you held close together
Hold on for the long ride
This won't be easy, Tonight
I can feel the rain fall down
I can see the clouds leaving town
I can tell your life's turned round
And I can hear you singing so loud, Now
I can feel the rain fall down on us together
Just wait for the sunshine
Let's wait for the new day
When we can't get away
It's me and you held close together
Hold on for the long ride
This won't be easy, Tonight
This won't be easy, Tonight

They day blurred by. I didn’t try to talk to Alex again. I trusted that she would tell me. I got off the bus at home and walked inside.

Josh was giving me a dirty look. “What?” I asked, confused. I hadn’t even done anything bad today! “Stop being so selfish!” he exploded. I glared at him. “Stop telling me what to do!” I snapped.

He stormed over to me. “Do you know what kind of pain you put your sister through?! She’s always worried about you! She cries for you! Seamus, she waited 18 years to get away from this house and she came back just for you. She loves you so much. And you just act like you deserve that love.”

I knew his words were true. And that’s why I hated them. I crossed my arms, giving him a nasty look. I didn’t exactly have a comeback for any of that. “I do things for her!” I said at last.

He just kept glaring. “Seamus, Lizzy and I are getting married and having a kid soon.” “What?” I said, interrupting him, my eyes widening. Josh suddenly became nervous. “S-She said she was going to tell you,” he said weakly.

“You got my sister pregnant?!” I screamed. “Seamus, calm down!” he said desperately. “You fucking bastard!” I exploded and jumped on him. We crashed to the ground and he struggled to hold me. Yea, I was 9 years younger than him and not as strong, but man, I was PISSED.

“Seamus?! Get off him!” Lizzy yelled, walking in. She ran over and forced me off of Josh. She ran and knelt next to him. “Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Josh shook his head and stood up. Lizzy kissed him and I lunged at him again.

Lizzy grabbed me. “Stop it!” she cried. “You stay away from my sister!” I snarled at Josh. Lizzy gulped. “Um…I take it you told him?” Josh nodded slowly.

“Seamus, please calm down. I’m an adult, and I can handle myself,” she said gently. I slapped her hands off. “You never tell me anything!” I yelled in frustration. “You fucking coward!”

I stormed off to my room and slammed the door. I lit a cigarette and took a long drag. There was a knock on my bedroom door and I rolled my eyes before answering.

“Gabby,” I said in surprise. She walked by me and sat on my bed. I shut the door and sat next to her. “What are you doing here?”

“I miss you,” she admitted. She leaned in and kissed my lips. I pulled away nervously. No, I couldn’t be doing this. I had to think of Alex.

I would not screw us up again.

I stood up and backed away from Gabby. I took another drag of my cigarette as she watched me. “I don’t want you Gabby. I have Alex.”

She pouted and came over to me. My back pressed against the wall as she placed her hands on my chest and pressed herself up against me. “Really?” she whispered in my ear seductively. “R-Really,” I said shakily.

She rubbed herself up against me. I was careful not to drop my cigarette. I knew Alex didn’t want sex and being with her meant…well, no more sex. I didn’t think it would be this hard to resist.

“Get off him you whore!”

We spun to face a very pissed off Alex.