A soft cough brought him back to the present. Yinsen looked like he regretted bringing the subject up but honestly, Tony was thankful for it. He needed to talk about it, get it off his chest.

"I think we lost track of the original conversation, Stark. You mentioned a boy earlier as I recall?", he asked with a small smile.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Did I?" Then he remembered. "Oh, yes but that is nothing, we are nothing. Just friends, not even anymore I guess. I-" He scoffed in defeat and lowered his head. "It's-"

"-complicated.", Yinsen finished with a sigh. "Honestly, Stark. Why am I not surprised? Let me guess: You two were friends and then you started to catch feelings for him and somehow messed it up?"

He sounded so much like one of those fathers scolding their children in drama shows Tony used to watch as a kid. It made his stomach flutter.

"Yeah, kind of. We were friends since childhood. He was one of the few people in my life who really liked me for who I was, not because of my status or fame. Maybe that's why I fell for him."

The old man managed to deprive him of any amount of self-worth so that the first person who really showed interest in him as a person and not a poster boy managed to catch him off guard.

You are such a joke.

"Doesn't sound so bad so far. What happened?", came the pressing question.

Tony put his head in his hands and groaned. He hated talking about this. "I happened. What do most people do when they realise that they have feelings for someone?" He honestly had no idea. Human interaction wasn't his strength.

"I went for the 'Ignore until it's gone' method but after that didn't work I decided to handle it like I handle everything else in my life: with pure logic.", he continued mumbling in his hands and refusing to look up because he knew the look he would receive.

"And, well, my brain told me that this would never work out so I took precautions." He shook his head. "I pushed him away and fucked it all up, not just my chance but also the friendship I had with him."

He heard Yinsen shift and stan up. He sat down beside him. "Might I ask why you thought that it wouldn't work out?"

Tony didn't know how good it could feel to open up and nodded slowly before lifting his head and continuing.

"To start with, his ego is even bigger than mine." He was forced to pause as a disbelieving huff made his way out of Yinsens mouth. "It really is. Truth be told, I don't even know how we managed to stay friends for so long."

He had to smile at the memory of their constant bickering. It usually had been light-hearted, only escalating a few times but they somehow always managed to get over their pride.

"But we did and then I destroyed it. I just knew we would never be an end game. You don't know him but he is quite frankly the most beautiful person I have ever seen. The ladies throw himself at him and he always seems to enjoy it so..", he finished, his voice barely able to be heard anymore.

He looked to his side. Yinsen studied his face closely before cocking his head to the side. "Ever wondered if he just tried to hide it like you?"

Tony shook his head. "Why would he? There would be no reason for him to hide.", he declared. He was the eldest of three children with a bright future in medicine and parents who supported his every move. Why should he feel the need to hide?

His friend let out a sad sigh. "Maybe not for the same reasons as you, Stark but sadly, there is still a big problem with homophobia to this day. Maybe he was scared that he'd lose his friends."

With a scoff, he declined that idea. "He doesn't care about other people and their opinions as long as they don't stand in his way to become a surgeon. Like I said, his arrogance protects him from getting hurt."

"Like it protects you?" 

That comment made him shut up.

"Listen, Stark. You might not believe it but I have met many people in my life. Good people, bad people, and I have learned a lot about them. Arrogance often is a facade. The most arrogant people are the most insecure about themselves."

Yinsen scooted closer to him and put, like so often these last few days, a hand on his shoulders. a smile spread out on his face.

"A successful career isn't the only thing that makes your life worth living, Tony. You and your friend need to understand that."

He knew that, of course. Hell, he would have never chosen this life if there had been a choice. But he didn't have anything to say in that matter.

Being born to the most famous weapons engineer in the world, his life had never been his to live. What an interesting turn it would have taken if he hadn't been a genius.

Probably would have ended up in an orphanage at the age of 2.

"Maybe it isn't for other people." For normal people with normal lives. For people with an actual future. "And maybe it isn't for my friend." He could only hope. "But it was for me."

Tony straightened himself, tired and scared of showing so much vulnerability.

"So you don't want to change your life?", came the uncertain question.

He scoffed and raked a hand through his steady growing, greasy hair. Of course, they wouldn't provide them with a barber but was a razor or some scissors too much to ask for? The wild beard was really starting to get on his nerves.

"There is a difference between wanting to do something and actually being able to."

His eyes darted to the side. "This is all speculation, anyway. It doesn't matter if I wanted to change. I will-"

"Doesn't it?"

"I WILL be dead by the end of this week.", he finished coldly.

"Alright." Yinsen sounded everything but sad. He tried to ignore the disappointment that took a hold of him. "Then this will be a very important week for you, won't it?" With that, he stood up, the hand on his shoulder leaving a cold spot when it got pulled back.

Tony's gaze lingered on him as he retreated back into the dark corner which he referred to as his bedroom.

He turned his back on the man getting ready for bed and closed his eyes. He knew what Yinsen expected from him. Hell, it was the same his common sense expected from him.

To get up, to pull himself together and to do something about his situation. Yeah, big words. That's all there is. How are you going to do it though?

And more importantly, why should you do it?

That was the question he had been battling with since waking up here. Why should he do this, fighting back? Who should he fight for?

His mother? Yes, she would be happy if he returned, for a time. Sooner or later, she would blame him for the death of her husband, Tony was sure of it.

And why shouldn't she? This was his fault after all. He had broken up their escort when he returned to the hotel just because he felt rejected by a man known for his cold composure.

Pathetic. That's what you are, pathetic. Desperate for approval.

His friends would miss him. Yes, Rhodey and Pepper would miss him but in time, they would get over it, they would get over him.

Pepper, who besides having a slight temper problem, would do splendidly in business management one day. She certainly had the mind for it, he'd been telling her that for months now.

Rhodey, who had his whole life before him, just having turned 20 and already looking forward to a successful military career.

A wave of fear washed over him when he realised how easily this could have been his friend dying in that car, trying to fight off these terrorists. He would have never forgiven himself if that had happened.

Hell, he could never forgive himself for being responsible for the death of the soldiers who he had known for a total of maybe 10 minutes. Their names might be unknown to him but their faces would forever be etched in his mind.

Then a new question came to his mind: If he buried his head in the sand now, what would have these soldiers died for then? Nothing.

If he gave up now, who would be the one to bring justice to these assholes? Who would get his fathers weapons out of their hands? No one. 

Yinsen had told him about all of it. Called themselves 10 rings, mayor dickheads, almost impossible to track down. Loyal customers of Stark Industries. 

He still shuddered at his choice of words.

If he died now, how could he go back home and apologize to everyone he has ever hurt? How could he apologize to him? I couldn't.

His eyes flew open. No, this couldn't be the end of Stark Industries and more importantly, this couldn't be the end of Tony Stark.

Stretching his tired limbs, he picked up his battery and stood. There was little time left and a lot of work to do. Since sleep most likely wouldn't find him this night he might as well start right away.

His body was in desperate need of some rest, not really haven't gotten any since he first woke up in here but every time his eyes closed for more than a few minutes horrible pictures and memories were starting to play behind his eyelids.

There had been a few attempts at sleep which have all ended the same way, with a loud screaming and an uncontrollably shaking Tony Stark. So, no sleep for now even if it meant feeling like shit. Anything was better than those nightmares.

He sat down at his desk and looked at the picture of the Jericho. He picked it up, stared at it, shook his head and ripped it apart. Let's see how you idiots can cope with me changing the game.

Picking up a pen and an old piece of paper which had taken an ugly shade of yellow, he started to write, the flickering light of the little lamp beside him the only light source in the dark night.

----------------------------------------------------

"Yinsen, Yinsen! Wake up, I need to get some equipment. How can I get the attention of the guys outside?", Tony asked while shaking his still sleeping friend. Damn it, wake up already!

Another rough shake and the eyes of the man beneath him flew open. "Stark!" He sat up straight forcing Tony to lightly stumble backwards. "You scared me. What is this all about?", he asked, voice still groggy.

"Like I said: I need some stuff and pounding on the door only caused them to yell at me."

Yinsen's eyes grew big at his words. "Are you insane, Stark?! Never do that again or trust me, they won't stop at just yelling. Now-" He stretched himself, his back cracking audibly. "what do you need?"

"This." He handed him the list he had spent the last night making. "I know it's a lot but if they managed to get there hands on the weapons I saw yesterday it shouldn't be a problem."

Tony watched as he scanned the list, a question clearly forming in his mind. After a moment he looked up again. "This is what you need to build the Jericho?"

He smirked at him. "I didn't say that."

"Ah, I see. Well, they should show up soon, expecting your answer."

"Good, we have no time to lose." Tony turned around, leaving him to get dressed and ready. A busy day was lying ahead of them and at the end of it, hopefully, there would be some good results.

Walking back to his working place, battery casually swinging in his hand almost like it was a normal part of him now, he wasted no time. Some parts could already be prepared with the stuff he had here.

"If I might ask, Stark? What brought this drastic change upon you? Yesterday you looked ready to give up." A low chuckle could be heard behind him. "Don't tell me that it was me talking some sense into you."

"Yes and no.", he replied without turning around, already concentrating on getting the metal ball in front of him into a good, thin circle. "You just reminded me of the reason I can't just give up for which-" He stopped and took a deep breath.

"For which I am very grateful to you.", he murmured, not even sure if he could be heard.

"You are welcome, Stark."

So, he had been heard. Relief washed over him at Yinsen's words. It had been important that he knew how thankful Tony was for his support even though he often didn't manage to show it.

"I am still curious though. What is the reason for this new ideology of yours?"

His reply was short and soft. "Not what, who."

"I see."

"I don't even have to turn around to see you grinning. Stop it."

"Oh, I don't think so, Stark." He imagined the smirk growing even bigger. "A person, huh? Who might it be?"

For a second Tony's fingers stilled, lingering a moment in mid-air before resuming their work.

He took a deep breath, finally allowing himself to utter the name that had been haunting him since the beginning of this mess. The name he had been about to dial on his phone before the bomb blew up in his face. The name that had kept him going through the last 10 hours of work and preparation.

The reason he gave this final quest all he had.

"Stephen Strange."