"But if you're giving it then don't you change
Cause living was the best revenge" ~ Let 'Em Say - Lizzo and Caroline Smith  

09 May 1969, 7.39pm

***

"Christmas land.

That's what I called it. Before I found other, much more harmful ways, to escape.

Ever since I was little, I loved Christmas. It made me feel happy and warm.
My parents were kind during Christmas. Except when they weren't.

I was 4 years old the first time my father hurt me. I spilt paint on a rug his grandmother handed down to him, I didn't even know what I'd done but I knew I was afraid of him as he shouted at me. And that's the first time I felt what became the familiar strike of his hand. He hit me over and over, and shook me. I remember crying, I remember my mother simply trying to clean the paint as I was sent to my room.

And that's when I created Christmas land. It was a place only I knew how to get to, it was an island hidden in the clouds. It wasn't easy to go there, it was dangerous, but I knew the path by heart and the only way anyone else could come to Christmas land was if I told them how, if I wanted to show them.

In Christmas land, I could play and not worry about anything. I could dance and not worry it was a sin. The reindeer were my best friends, the elves always made sure I had enough toys and paints, and then there was Santa. Santa always welcomed me back. Mrs Clause always healed my bruises and Santa, let me be a child. If I spilt paint on the rug, he would laugh and magically clean it. There was always snow and nobody could feed the reindeer better than me.

It was my escape, it was my home."

"Fuck me..." Jenny said wiping a tear from her eye "I had no idea..."

"Is it too much?" Charli asked "I mean, It's the only way I could think of starting this bloody thing before I dive into all the horrible shit"

Jenny shook her head.

"No, it's perfect," She said "It's just so...sad. You were four years old! I just don't get it...but Christmas land sounds perfect!"

"Well, I'm taking it to Mrs McTavish Monday morning..." Charli said, "She wants it published by August."

"I can't think of anything else to tell you than I already have," Jenny said as she skimmed the first few pages again "much as you're afraid...this is a good idea Charli."

Charli smiled. "I think, we should have a wine to get ourselves in better spirits"

"I love the way your mind works!" Jenny laughed as they moved into the kitchen "So tell me, did me or Paul ever come to Christmas land with you?"

"Maaaaybe" Charli teased "I still dreamed about it when you lot came into me life"

The phone rang.

"I should get that," Charli sighed putting down the wine bottle.

"Hello my lovely wife" Paul sang into the phone.

"Hi!" Charli said happily "We were just setting out some wine, should I add a 3rd glass?"

"I'm sorry kitten," Paul said "I'm just callin' to say, I'll be at the studio a bit longer...goin' to help that Steve Miller chap with his new record"

"Ah, okay" Charli answered "Guess it'll be a date night for me and Jen"

"Sexy," Paul laughed.

"How did the meeting with Klein go?" Charli asked knowing he had been stressed. Studio life had improved since they were recording in Abbey Road studios and had George Martin and Geoff at the helm again. However, Paul had been feeling pressure to sign a contract making Allen Klein their manager. Charli, had supported him as best as she could.

"Bloody hell," Paul sighed "We had an argument, they've all left. I just don't want ta' sign anything with him yet.."

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to" Charli shrugged.

"So you say," Paul laughed "I decided to stay back, Steve stopped in to record and I just need to...hit somethin' after that meeting, best it's a drum kit and not one of me mates"

"Alright luv," Charli laughed "I guess we'll manage"

Paul laughed softly.

"I won't be too late," he added before they said their goodbyes.

"Macca's stayin' late?" Jenny asked.

"Yeah, they've been doing better," Charli said knowing what Jenny was going to ask next "He's really not happy about this Klein character wantin' to manage them"

"Well then," Jenny smirked, "What do ya' say we have a girls' night on the town?"

"Read me mind luv!" Charli grinned.

10 May 1969, 9.32am

"I'm happy to hear things are improving and you're sleeping better," a middle-aged woman with salt and peppered hair said happily "Have you had any...cravings? I know you were worried about finishing the book"

"I haven't!" Charli said happily "I've been too busy and too stubborn to"

Dr Miller laughed.

"We have talked, but those cravings may come and go for quite some time," she said "But it's how you choose to act that makes the difference"

Charli smiled. She had a better understanding of herself as a survivor of abuse, a recovering addict and as a human since seeing Dr Miller.

"Now, something I know you don't like talking about," Dr Miller began "Have you spoken with your mother?"

Charli's demeanour changed.

"No.." she sighed "Do I really have to? She did nothing for me..."

"Dearie, I can't make you do anything" Dr Miller advised "But, I think for your own state of mind...it would be best to tell her what she did and how it affected you before this book is released. Maybe she'll understand and apologise...maybe not, but either way, you will have peace of mind knowing you tried"

"After we get through auditions," Charli groaned. "That's my main focus this month, before Paul and I leave for New York"

"That's right, you have a busy few weeks coming up" Dr Miller remembered, "How is teaching going?"

"Great! I love the littles" Charli said "The adult classes are going smooth...we're auditioning for the student showcase today, so that's the rest of my day and early evening eaten up"

"I think it's really good for you to teach," Dr Miller smiled "Especially the children"

"Oh?" Charli laughed "Why? Because you know Paul and I plan to start a family soon?"

"Well, yes..." Dr Miller laughed "But I also think, you can be a really positive influence on the littles. Given everything you've been through and how you treat them, I think it's good for all of you"

"Now, unfortunately, we are a bit over time," Dr Miller said apologetically "Should we schedule another appointment for mid-June?"

"Mid-June sounds fine," Charli agreed "And I lost track of time as well, auditions start at 10.30!"

**

"Sorry I'm late Mika!" Charli said as she rushed into the teachers' office "therapy went a little long today"

"Charli darling," Mika laughed "Relax, you're still here before the parents and students arrive"

"I know, but I should have been here and changed and helping set up by now" Charli added as she began changing into more comfortable clothes.

"How are we running today?" Jillian asked.

"We'll audition the kiddies first," Mika said "I've had bloody parents breathing down my neck for the last 2 weeks! I think, if we can get them auditioned and have their list up before the adult class, we can at least sort out any drama then"

"Fuck me, really?" Charli asked "What is with these parents?? Honestly, if your child doesn't get into this showcase, there will be others"

"Well, I'm counting on you luv to help me diffuse any prima-donna mothers we may encounter," Mika said as she looked over the list of students.

"At your service" Charli smirked as she saluted Mika.

"Right, Nigel is setting up snacks for between auditions and water," Mika explained. "We are going to be here awhile...I reckon littles auditions from 10.30-2pm that gives us time to work through notes and cast before adults arrive at 4, and gives us a little time for lunch. Adult auditions will go from 4-8pm. The adult classes can wait to see the showcase list til Monday morning."

"Are we staying late to cast it?" Jillian asked.

"Yes..." Mika said "I hope that's alright, I'll spring for dinner"

"No worries Mika," Charli smiled "Mind if I ring Paul, just to let him know I'll be late?"

Mika nodded.

*

"Hello luv," Charli said as Paul answered the phone.

"Hey gorgeous," Paul greeted. Charli could almost hear the smile in his voice.

"Sorry I had to rush out this morning," Charli apologised. "I meant to let you sleep in"

"Nah, I really should get some work done on some songs anyway," Paul laughed "Martha needed to go out anyway"

"I have some unfortunate news," Charli added. "I'm going to be late tonight, auditions go until 8 and we need to make sure the showcase list goes up for the adult classes Monday morning"

"So you're saying, I should bring ya's dinner?" Paul asked.

"Nah, Mika is springing for dinner," Charli said.

"Nonsense!" Paul scoffed "We've been like 2 ships passing...if I want to see ya's before bed, I'll bring dinner. Plus, I should stop by and make sure the circus school I'm funding is up to snuff"

"I do want to see ya's," Charli laughed "So I won't argue...not that I'm complainin' the only time we seem to see each other is in bed lately"

"I'll never complain about that!" Paul laughed.

*

"I think...that should be it," Mika said holding up the first list of students who were cast. Charli glanced out at the main floor of the school where a group of children were eating snacks and playing tag as their mothers waited impatiently nearby.

"Bloody hell..." Nigel sighed "we're going to have to clean crumbs off the mats before the next auditions"

"Shall we face the music?" Jillian asked. Mika passed Charli the audition list.

"Leaving it to me to announce?" Charli laughed.

"Ok! If I could have everyone's attention" Nigel tried shouting over the loud game of tag to no avail.

"And a hush fell over the crowd!" Charli shouted. Each child stopped what they were doing and turned to face their teachers

"HUSSSSSSHHH!" the class hissed and giggled as they quieted down.

"I don't know where you learned that trick" Nigel laughed.

Charli shrugged before addressing the class.

"First, I want to say all of you did so well! And I'm really proud of everyone," Charli began "We have decided who will be in the showcase in September. Now, if you didn't make it this time, don't be sad! Your teachers will be working with you still during regular class and there will be another showcase in the future"

"Now, without further ado" Charli added as she taped the list of performers to the wall.

She stood back with Mika, Nigel and Jillian as the children rushed to the list, their parents not far behind.

"Get ready for drama," Mika whispered.

"This is why I'm fine only teaching the adult class" Jillian laughed under her breath.

"I got it!"

"Mummy! Look! I did it!"

"Yay!"

There were various excited cheers and congratulations, then came what Mika, Charli and Nigel had been preparing for.

"I can't believe this!" a mother exclaimed.

"You should've been cast, you hear me?" another said to her child who was in tears.

"We're going to have a chat with your teachers!" another exclaimed.

"Pardon me!" A bleach blond middle-aged woman said angrily as she approached the teachers. "Why isn't my Lilith in the showcase?"

"Well, Mrs Ainsworth" Mika began "While Lilith is improving her teachers didn't feel she was quite ready to perform"

"The whole point of her enrolling in this bloody programme was to perform!" Mrs Ainsworth countered angrily.

"And she will," Charli added "it's just not the right time, performing is a lot of work and while she is learning skills to perform, she needs a little more time."

"A little more time?" Mrs Ainsworth said directing her attention to Charli "She started in January along with the rest of these brats, some of whom aren't nearly as talented"

"Her technique needs a bit of refining," Charli said, not shaken "If we don't feel a student is ready it's for their own safety, Mrs Ainsworth, she could seriously injure herself if she's not ready to perform"

Mika and Nigel were already fielding accusations from another mother as her child sobbed at her side.

No longer had Charli dismissed Mrs Ainsworth and encouraged Lilith than she saw another familiar parent storming toward her, dragging her daughter along by her wrist.

"I beg your pardon, Mrs McCartney!" Evie's mother said angrily.

"Yes, Mrs McCallister," Charli said calmly.

"Evie, why don't you tell your teacher how upset you are" Mrs McCallister demanded of her daughter.

"I don't want to mummy," Evie said quietly.

"Then I will!" she said angrily as she let go of Evie's wrist roughly, Evie rubbing at her sore wrist didn't go unnoticed by Charli.

"Mrs McCartney," she said angrily, "You said if Evie came to practice, she would be in the showcase..."

"I never said that," Charli corrected "What I said is she should come to practice to improve and learn technique. When she's ready, she will perform. She's not quite ready and that's fine, she will be soon enough"

"The only reason I enrolled her in this bloody thing was to perform alongside someone famous" Mrs McCallister blurted out but showed little remorse for the admission.

"Well, that's quite a silly reason to enrol your daughter in anything" Charli countered. She noticed Evie trying to hide and bent down to talk to her.

"Evie," Charli began as she took her hands noticing a bruise at Evie's wrist, her heart raced momentarily. She regained herself and continued. "Do you like doing silks and lyra?"

Evie nodded.

"We like having you here luv," Charli smiled "Are you a little sad you aren't in the showcase?"

Evie nodded.

"That's ok luv," Charli said sweetly "In fact, I'd be worried if you weren't! You are allowed to be sad...but you know that we don't think you're never going to perform, yeah? Me, Nigel and Mika all know you work hard! You just need a little more practice, that's all. We will have another showcase soon and if you stay with us and practise really hard, I'm sure you will be in it."

Evie nodded before speaking "I don't want to quit circus..."

Charli stood to face Evie's mother again.

"Well then, you have Evie's answer," Charli said crossing her arms "She is a good student and I would be sad if you took her away from this. I think circus can do good things for a shy child like Evie, it gives confidence...who knows? It might help her to fight for herself"

Mrs McCallister narrowed her eyes.

"Well, I won't be bringing her...her father can deal with you lot," she said taking Evie's hand.

"No mummy!" Evie said "That hurts"

"I'll look forward to working with Mr McCallister" Charli shot as they left.

*

"I think today has been the longest day of the year.." Charli yawned.

"And we haven't even gotten a chance to rehearse!" Jillian laughed.

"I think I'd fall asleep in the lyra if I tried" Charli laughed.

It was later that night, the adult class had finished auditions and Mika, Nigel, Jillian and Charli retreated to the teachers' office to begin casting the students.

"I'm just glad we survived the attack of the rabid mothers this afternoon," Mika said as they began setting out their notes.

"I hope your husband gets here with dinner soon" Nigel added "I'm starving"

"He'll be here soon I'm sure," Charli advised "He has to take a few precautions when getting food from anywhere obviously"

"Well, let's get started while we wait," Mika said. "First up, Christine Hennessy"

"Excellent technique, gets a little distracted, but has good stage presence" Jillian read over her notes.

"Christine," Charli said looking over her notes "Stage presence A+, technique has definitely improved, lacks focus"

"Ok, I think she's good...but I'm concerned about the lack of focus" Mika admitted.

"She'll be fine I think, she's just a little obsessed with Paul" Charli laughed.

"It's usually pretty easy to get her back on track," Jillian admitted "Especially if Charli gets annoyed"

Everyone laughed.

"I have been a little tough on her haven't I?" Charli laughed.

"She still likes you, so there's that," Jillian said.

"Ok, Christine is in the showcase...next" Mika said looking over the list of students "Julie McCulloch"

"What I wrote about Julie 'Very talented, if cast keep her and Christine apart. They distract each other. Technique is definitely there, stage presence needs work'" Charli said

"Ah, to be a teenager again" Nigel laughed.

"They're both 18...fresh out of school" Jillian shrugged "but yeah, teenagers"

They heard the front door to the studio close.

"Oo! That'll be dinner," Charli said.

"Not even excited at seeing your husband?" Mika laughed.

"'Course I am!" Charli laughed "Just more excited when he has food and I'm famished"

"Sorry I'm a little late," Paul said as he entered the teachers' office "But I have dinner!"

Charli jumped up and made her way to Paul.

"Hi handsome," she said as her arms went around him.

"Hey gorgeous" he smiled giving her a small kiss "How were the parents?"

"Don't ask," Charli laughed "We're just getting started on casting the adult classes"

"Thanks for dinner Paul!" Mika called from her spot on the floor, reminding him the group was hungry.

*

"I think that should do it!" Mika said happily "I think this is going to be a really great showcase"

"I'm sorry I can't be here for a couple weeks of rehearsal" Charli apologised as she finished her dinner.

"Don't worry!" Mika smiled "Enjoy yourselves in New York"

"What's going on in New York?" Jillian asked "Anything special"

Charli shrugged.

"Not really," she said, "I think we just need a break from life and I want to drop in on me friends"

"The band is taking a bit of a holiday," Paul said "It's probably for the best, we can come back really refreshed and ready to work"

Much as recording had been going better, there was still stress. The dynamic of the band changed, Paul felt Yoko was pulling John away from everyone. John felt the rest of the band was cruel to Yoko. Charli was relieved to finish her book but needed time to let it all go and had one more thing to do before their holiday.

"And gets you away from Klein," Charli added.

"Who's that?" Nigel asked.

"New manager," Paul sighed "He's well...he's.."

"An arsehole?" Charli ventured as the rest laughed. Charli, had met Klein once. After the recording session, he had stopped by to try and convince Paul to sign a contract making him the financial manager of Apple. Charli, couldn't stand him and had made it clear.

"He thinks I need to 'get me wife under control'" Paul admitted.

"Yeah, well...I'll fuckin' tell him where he can shove his outdated ideals," Charli muttered.

14 May 1969, 2.01pm

"Tea is ready whenever you'd like to come over," Mandy said into the phone.

"Ta, I really appreciate you doin' this" Charli said nervously.

"It's no worry lovey," Mandy said "Who knows, it could go well"

"Ta" Charli said before hanging up the phone.

"You're sure you don't want me to come with you?" Paul asked looking up from his guitar.

"It's not that I don't want you with me," Charli said with a half smile, "I think I need to do this on me own"

"Luv, I'm worried about you" Paul admitted.

"It'll be alright, I'll have Mandy there and I can leave if I need to," Charli said "But I think you should have a big bottle of wine ready for when I get home"

Paul smirked as Martha nudged his hand.

"At least take Martha with you," he suggested. Martha wagged her stubby tail realising she might get to go for a ride.

"If you insist," Charli laughed before kissing him "Mandy loves her anyway"

"Martha," Charli said turning her attention to the patiently waiting sheepdog "Go find yer leash!"

Martha excitedly bounded to the entryway where her leash was kept before she and Charli made their way out the door.

*

Charli and Martha stood waiting for her Aunt to answer the door.

"Charli lovey," Mandy greeted warmly as Martha jumped excitedly seeing her "And Martha!"

"Hope ya' don't mind I brought her," Charli laughed, "I think she was gettin' a little bored cooped up inside"

"It's alright, I understand" Mandy reassured before returning her attention to Martha.

"How do you like your tea?" Mandy asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Just a wee bit of sugar, no milk" Charli answered as she fidgeted with Martha's leash. Martha was growing agitated. Mandy noticed.

"You're very brave love," Mandy said placing a hand on Charli's shoulder "She's aware you're coming, but I'll mediate if need be."

Martha whined anxiously.

"Oh Martha, it's okay" Mandy soothed.

"Dogs can sense evil..." Charli mumbled as Mandy laughed softly.

"I don't see why ya' organised this Mandy," Mrs McLeod huffed indignantly "I have nothin' to say"

"Now Molly, we spoke about this. Charli has some things she would like answered and things she needs to say" Mandy said as they entered the lounge with tea.

Molly sat on the couch with her arms folded. Charli tensed up, Martha leaned into her. She didn't know why things felt wrong, only that her human friend was upset and so was she.

"Why'd ya' bring that beast?" Molly asked angrily.

"Molly, Martha is a companion to Charli and a good dog," Mandy said calmly "Now, Charli has been seeing a colleague of mine and she suggested Charli talk to you"

"A psychiatrist?!?" Molly said incredulously "Puttin yer ideas in her head I see Mandy"

Mandy ignored the insult.

"Well, I have nothin' ta' say...and you said plenty at yer father's funeral" Molly huffed.

"Not to you I didn't," Charli said as she sipped her tea.

"I think you both have things you want to say, questions answered" Mandy suggested. Molly simply sipped her tea. Charli's mind raced as she tried to figure out what to say.

"Why?" she finally said.

"What do you mean, 'why'?" Molly asked angrily.

"Why didn't you care?" Charli asked "Why didn't you do anything...why did you...hate me"

"I beg your pardon!" Molly said indignantly "We did everything for you and you were so ungrateful..."

"Ungrateful??" Charli said taken aback "Ungrateful for da' beating me within an inch of me life...breaking my arm...leaving scars that will never go away. Ungrateful when you supported his abuse?"

Molly fumed but was silent.

"All these problems in yer head, that has nothin' to do with me or your father," Molly said as tears stung at her eyes "I wish he was still here to tell you the same"

"Everything you did to me growing up....as an adult...has stayed with me," Charli said quietly "everything. I am trying to make peace with everything and I need you to know, that what he did...what you didn't do has hurt me deeper than you may understand"

"It would have been easier if you were a boy like we were originally goin' ta' ha--" Molly stopped mid-sentence.

"Molly...I think you owe it to Charli to continue that sentence" Mandy said trying to moderate the conversation.

"We wanted a boy, we prayed for a boy.." Molly said taking a deep breath "Having a girl wasn't ideal...women, are more easily susceptible to temptation, like Eve and the apple. We tried...and couldn't have children for a long time...eventually, we were goin' ta' have a boy...but we lost him only a few months into me pregnancy. It was punishment...I was unfaithful to yer father. Eventually, after that...we had you and much as we tried to make sure ya' weren't the wretched child you were, we failed."

"So that's it? You hate me because you think I'm punishment for your mistakes?" Charli asked.

"We were upset...I thought I'd atoned for me sins, yer da' did everything ta' make sure you didn't turn out treacherous...he tried so hard, but even he couldn't get ya's under control" Molly said as she teared up again. There was a long silence before Charli spoke again.

"I didn't need ta' be controlled," she said finally "I needed parents who loved me"

There was silence, Molly held to her resolve.

"I came here to get answers," Charli began "And, while I don't like the answers, I have them. I also thought, depending on today would dictate what your role will be when Paul and I decide to have children. I'm sorry, but you will have no part in their life. I wouldn't put anyone through that apathy"

"I already tol' ya's at your father's funeral, I want nothing to do with you," Molly said "I'm not changing me mind"

Martha moved her head under Charli's hand, Charli smiled at the comfort she provided.

"Well then, I'll be on my way," Charli said standing.

"I'll see you out," Mandy said happily "Plus, I think Martha deserves a treat for being such a good girl"

Martha perked up upon hearing the word "treat" as they walked to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry lovey," Mandy apologised quietly as they reached the kitchen "I'll try talkin' to her"

"Don't bother," Charli whispered shaking her head "I feel...better now. I'm just a little sad any of our wee bairns won't have a grandmum"

"Maybe not," Mandy said, "But they'll have a grand-aunty...and you can bet I'll spoil them rotten!"

17 May 1969 9.23pm, New York

"Hey, pumpkin!" Lily said happily as he greeted Charli and pulled her into a hug.

"And Paul!" he said continuing the hug to Paul.

"It's good ta' see ya's Lily," Charli said happily as they were led inside the familiar flat.

"I hope you don't mind us stayin'" Paul added.

"Of course we don't mind!" Lily laughed "It's a bit late, but we still can order from your favourite Thai place Charli"

"I'm not goin' to turn down spring rolls" Charli laughed. She looked around her old flat, it seemed quiet and emptier than she remembered.

"Where is everyone?" she asked.

"Ah, well, Sophie is at work" Lily began "Mina and Toni found their own place, just a block away. They're visiting tomorrow"

"And Eddie?" Charli asked.

"I know you wanted to see him little one," Lily sighed "He was really worried about this fucking draft...his birthday nearly came up. He and Maurice moved to Quebec a few days ago...he did leave you a letter"

"Why don't we have a bit of dinner first, kitten?" Paul asked. They had just finished a long flight and both were quite hungry.

*

"Charli!!!" Sophie said excitedly as she entered the flat "I brought surprises"

Mina and Toni stepped inside as the former flatmates greeted each other.

"I thought you two weren't coming until tomorrow" Lily laughed.

"We had a change of plans," Toni laughed.

"Namely, we couldn't wait to see our English friends" Mina added.

"It's good to see you both" Paul laughed as Mina hugged his shoulders.

"We were pretty surprised when Eddie said you two were going to visit" Sophie admitted.

"After the last album...we needed a bit of a holiday" Paul admitted.

"Yeah, but then you jumped right back into recording" Charli laughed.

"Well, the rest are on holiday so I figure why not pop over to New York and see our friends" Paul admitted.

"And since the book is finally with the publishers and I can stop worrying about it, I said ok" Charli grinned. "When did Eddie leave?"

"Honestly, it was just a few days ago," Sophie said "He felt quite bad, but he and Maurice packed his things and he was gone in a night"

"What happened?" Paul asked.

"The last draft pull...the day before his birthday came up," Lily said "Much as it's at random, so they say, he said that was it. He's been terrified"

"What about you Lily?" Charli asked, "Aren't you worried?"

"Like they'll really take a flamingly gay drag queen" Lily laughed "Even if they would...I have faith everything will be alright"

*

It was late, Paul and Charli had taken Mina and Toni's old room. After a full day of flying, airports and socialising well into the evening hours, they were both ready for a long sleep.

"Thanks for suggesting this," Charli sighed as she rested against Paul's chest.

"No worrie kitten," Paul smiled, "I think we both needed to get away for a few days, I'm just sorry we missed Eddie"

"I almost forgot!" she said sitting up. She reached for the letter Lily had given her sitting on the nightstand.

Hey Sugar Beat,

I really am sorry I can't be there. I was losing sleep over the war in Vietnam, and much as some of my family may think I'm a coward when they find out where I am, I don't care...I have to go.

I wish I could've been there to see you, I miss you like mad. But I will give you a call in a couple weeks when you're back from New York and I'm settled into life in Canada and I'll get you my new address then.

I hope you're not mad at me, miss you most!

Eddie

Charli smiled at the letter.

"Everything alright luv?" Paul asked. Charli smiled more and laid back against him.

"I'm sad Eddie isn't here, but I'm happy we came" Charli admitted.

They were silent a moment.

"Did I ever tell ya's, I'm really proud of you for standing up to yer mum?" Paul asked
"A few times" Charli laughed "I'm just sorry it didn't end happily"
"Well, it did in the long run I think," Paul thought out loud "You can be free of all that now"

Charli smiled slightly before speaking again.

"I've been thinking," Charli began "When we get back to London, I want to start some sort of organisation...a charity for children who maybe have nowhere else they can turn to due to family issues...there would be a place for them to play and people for them to talk to...think you could help with the vast amount of people you know in London?"

Paul thought for a while.

"Or is it a completely silly idea?" Charli asked nervously.

"It's not a silly idea luv," Paul smiled "I just need to think on who I might know....it would take quite a bit of work you know"

"I know," Charli nodded "But I figure if I'm going ta' be famous, I might as well use it for something worthwhile"

They both laughed.

"I think we can figure something out," Paul smiled "In the meantime, let's enjoy some time off from our work lives"

Charli smiled before nodding off to sleep. 

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https://youtu.be/vd4aLl6A_o4

A/N:  OMG!!  As always, I'm so sorry this is late.  I have hit the ground running in the new year with projects for friends and my own websites as well as shows.  

I will try my hardest to get updates out sooner!

Anyway, new chapter goes into depth about Charli's love of Christmas and a bit of closure with her mum at least.  

Thanks as always for the support, the patience and the reads, votes, comments and love!
Happy New Year Wattpad friends :D